


The Dictator

by riot3672



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Flashbacks, Post-Finale, Prison, Redemption, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-17 11:58:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 140,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3528575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riot3672/pseuds/riot3672
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuvira's time in prison following the events of the season 4 finale; Kuvira sinks into depression over the horrors she committed, and with all her former adopted family against her, Korra is the only one who can see Kuvira for who she really is and is willing to help her rise up again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hope

_Dictators don’t need fair treatment._

It was all Kuvira could think as she burned under Suyin’s hateful gaze. All through the sentencing, the transportation, it was all Suyin gave her. Kuvira almost preferred Suyin’s harsh words, the cold disregard for the decades the two of them had been family. She couldn’t tell what hurt more: the guilt, invading her heart cut by cut, the same way the Avatar cut into Colossus, or the knowledge that Suyin and Baatar would never forgive her.

The nameless White Lotus guards stopped as they reached Kuvira’s new home. A wooden box, suspended hundreds of feet in the air. The same sort of cell Kuvira had put Suyin’s family—her family—inside in the madness of a goal growing too fast. 

One of the guards pushed her forward, and a new, physical pain joined all the mental anguish, licking it up for just a moment. She cringed, hands automatically trying to quell the pain from her broken ribs. 

“Hey!” the second guard barked as he grabbed Kuvira’s arms.

Another shot of pain burned through her. She’d been through pain far worse than this and didn’t bat an eyelash, but tears burned in her eyes as she waited for this pain to stop. She needed to keep it together. At least until she was in that cage. 

Spirits, how could they have thought she was well enough to take guard roughhousing so soon after the battle. _You didn’t give all those people days’ recuperation after attacking. You deserve even less._ She had to count her luck. Avatar Korra hadn’t needed to save her, especially after trying to kill her with the weapon. She could’ve sustained much worse injuries than a few broken ribs.

The first guard grabbed her by a handful of her shirt, forcing her to look up and at him. She clenched her jaw to mask the pain he was causing.

“Let’s go, _Great Uniter_. _We_ have a schedule,” the first guard said.

He dropped her, and she nearly fell to the ground. She stopped herself with a quick change of footing. The guards grabbed her, and they continued their walk. The last real walk she’d be taking for a while.

They stepped into an elevator shaft, and lurched upward. There didn’t seem to be a single motion these guys made that didn’t send a new wave of pain through Kuvira, but _dictators don’t get fair treatment_. 

She glanced down as one of the guards formed a bridge to the cage. If she moved quick enough, she could throw herself off this bridge. It would be deep enough to end it, and neither of these guards were air benders or metal benders. There would be nothing they could do, and she could end it before it began. Before they closed the door on that cage and let her inner demons eat her alive. She knew she was quick, efficient; she could do it. Let it be her one last battle move.

No one would miss her. Not her parents, not the Metal Clan, not Baatar…

She squeezed her eyes shut, pushing the thoughts back as best she could. Mistaking the Spirit World for death made death seem tame, but she knew she still couldn’t guarantee anything better if she jumped off that platform. 

It would be the easy way out, and she never took the easy way out.

The guards led her forward before she could give it a second thought. She kept up pace as best she could, knowing them pushing her along would be worse than the fast walking. Nothing would be a picnic at this point, and some primal part of her wanted to get inside that cage just so she could stop moving. 

“Welcome to your palace, Great Uniter,” the second guard sneered as she stepped in.

He closed the door before she’d even turned around to face them. She watched them return to the elevator shaft, the bridge disappearing behind them. 

Teeth gritted, tears and sweat welling, she lowered herself to the ground, knees first. The pain was tolerable up until her knees hit the floor, then it became unbearable. She lost her concentration, one hand cradling her ribcage and the other splayed on the wooden floor. Her arm shook, and she willed herself to roll back against the cage’s wall instead of dropping onto her stomach. 

How had this happened? How had she gone from the leader of the Earth Empire to a prisoner who couldn’t sit down without agony? She had the dexterity of a senior citizen, and knew even if there was metal around her, she’d hardly be able to do the motions to bend it.

_The injury is temporary_ , she reminded herself. She’d seen people over the years with rib injuries, and it just took time to heal. Everything looked hopeless when emotion took charge from logic. She hardly had the strength to trust anything but her emotions, but she had to try. She had to survive this prison sentence somehow.

Slowly, barely moving an inch a second, she leaned backward enough for her back to touch the back of the cage. She exhaled and let her legs stretch out straight. She winced and rubbed her hand over her broken ribs. 

What would happen if she told the guard who brought her food and water about the injury? They’d probably ignore it. Maybe she’d get lucky and she needed real medical attention. Even if it was just a day or two outside the cage, it would be worth it.

Except there were no guards around her. No one but her, the wooden cage, and the dark abyss below. This was the dictator’s reward. Avatar Korra had defeated her, and she had to not only surrender to Su and Lin, but look Korra in the eyes and see all the mistakes she’d made. Seen the madness, the violence, the suffering she had caused. She had wanted to save her people, protect them, help them, but all they would remember her for is the pain she caused. Was this injury supposed to be poetic, the pain she projected onto her people twisting her insides up, making her end all the more real? 

Sitting there, exhausted and pain oozing out in never-ending supply, it made sense. 

Kuvira leaned her head back and closed her eyes. 

_You’ll pay for everything you did._ As if losing Baatar and the Metal Clan wasn’t enough. 

Yet, why let Su’s reaction take hold of her like this? Su had never truly loved her the way she loved her real kids. Whereas Baatar could make a mistake like joining Kuvira and return to open arms, Kuvira was always the outsider, the kid on probation. One slip up and she was gone, back to being the same nothing her own parents had seen. All her life, Kuvira had been perfect, and her one mistake was done. It was a lost cause.

Perhaps the pain would dull with time, like this injury. Everything hurts the most at the beginning, but the body builds up tolerance and immunity, and the pain fades. The mind worked the same way.

Kuvira lost track of time, but it was quite a while in the dark before she fell into a pitiful sleep. 

* * *

 

_“Su?”_

_Eight years old, the eldest among the kids in the house, yet Kuvira had waited hours until Su was finished caring for the other kids to tell her about the cut she’d gotten while playing with Baatar._

_Su sat on her bed, some papers out in front of her. She looked up immediately, the same way she’d done for the other kids. “What is it, Kuvira?” She held out her hand, blood soaked and dripping off the makeshift bandage. “Spirits, Kuvira. Follow me. How long ago did you get that?”_

_Kuvira followed Su into the bathroom and took a seat. “A few hours ago. Baatar Jr. and I were trying to metal bend. I thought I could do it, but I ended up cutting myself when I tried to change its shape.”_

_Su pulled off the old bandage and ran Kuvira’s hand under some water. It stung, but Kuvira kept a brave face. “You must be doing pretty well if you thought you were already ready to change shape.”_

_“I think so.”_

_Su blotted some medicine onto the cut and wrapped it back up. “You’re excelling at it. Even my mother said you’re exceptional already.” She kissed Kuvira’s forehead. “You’ll be an amazing metal bender one day, just be patient.”_

Kuvira awoke in the same darkness as before, the only marker of time’s passage being how stiff and sore she’d become. She looked toward where she’d come in, and found a tray, a plate, and a cup sitting at the entrance of the cage. She thought about going for it, but one motion forward told her she wasn’t going anywhere. She wasn’t hungry, anyway. 

She ran a hand through her hair, growing more and more tangled by the minute. She wished she could put it up, out of her face, but they’d taken away her tie. Metal, of course. She sighed and tried to occupy her mind without thinking about her childhood or anything involving the Metal Clan. There were about three hours’ worth of memories to work with, then. Great.

She could plan something, but what was there to plan? She wasn't creative enough to make something up, and it left her wondering where her supporters were then. She’d learned a fair amount about a lot of her soldiers, and could mentally recite names and positions and temperaments—

She huffed. She just needed to take it easy and stop thinking for a while. She needed to heal and keep the guilt at bay. Once her ribs were healed, she could pace the cell, do push ups, sit ups, keep her body sharp and figure out how to sharpen her mind afterwards. People survived in prison without going insane, and she’d do the same.

She tried to take a deep breath, but all she could manage was a shallow intake of breath without the pain. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep again. She probably needed to make up for those months with little sleep anyway.

* * *

 

“Fix yourself up, Great Uniter. You’ve got a visitor.”

It’d been nearly a few days, and she’d just managed to flip back onto her hands and knees to crawl over to the food tray. She forgot what it was like to breath deeply without a second thought, or the sound of her own voice. 

The guard took her tray away and walked back to the elevator without retracting the bridge. Kuvira had been planning to sprawl onto the floor, giving her core a break from all the barely supported sitting up straight, but she hadn’t completely relinquished her pride. 

It was Avatar Korra who walked across that bridge. 

The Avatar got as close as she could to the cage and sat down. “Hi, Kuvira,” she said, her tone somewhere between friendly and guarded.

Kuvira nodded towards her, unsure what words to use.

“I hope they’re treating you okay. I’ve…never exactly checked on these high security prisons. I’d hate to think anyone was being treated inhumanely.” Kuvira bit her inner cheek, so Korra couldn’t see. “How have you been?” Korra paused. “Sorry, that’s a stupid question. Obviously, not great.” Korra shifted. “The Earth Kingdom’s doing good, if you were wondering. You really did a great job keeping everything together. It certainly wasn’t as crazy as when the Queen fell, pretty easy to hoist up.” She paused. “You should be proud.”

Kuvira shut her eyes, the shame welling in her chest stronger than the actual pain. Why was the Avatar trying to sugarcoat it? The last good thing Kuvira had done had been months ago. The Earth Kingdom had to recover because of what Kuvira did to them.

Kuvira tried to take a deep breath, but it hitched the moment the stabbing pain shot through her chest. Her hand flew to her ribs, covering them the way she’d done in her first few moments with the injury.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kuvira said, her voice hoarse from disuse. She tried to clear her throat, but it only made everything more painful. 

“You…You were hurt when the portal was made. I thought you were okay when you walked away with Su and Lin, but I guess…should I get a guard?”

“Don’t bother. They wouldn’t be able to help.”

Korra reached for something on her person. “I have some water and Katara taught me how to heal. Maybe I could—”

“Don’t touch me.” She took a shallow breath. “They’re broken ribs. You can’t help.”

“I’ve seen Katara do it. Really, I could fix them. It’s hard enough being in here…”

“Please Korra, don’t. They’d notice you touching me, either way. I’ll be fine.”

“You can hardly breathe.”

Kuvira gave her a look, hoping the Avatar would get the message. Korra nodded and shifted again.

“Did I thank you for saving my dad’s life?”

“Yes.”

“Well, thank you, again. I’m going to go see him soon, and sometimes, I forget to think about what happened around me when I battled Zaheer. You were a hero back then.”

Kuvira quirked an eyebrow. “And now?”

“Now,” Korra planted her elbow on her knee. “Now you can redeem yourself like Zaheer did. Like I said, I don’t think you’re evil. I understand why you did what you did. More recently, I’ve begun to think that you could even return to your Zaofu Metal Clan days.” She paused. “Not literally, at least not for a while, but something like that. You’re good, deep down.” She smiled. “Aang would’ve thought so.”

Kuvira looked away. “Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m not. I really feel that way.” Kuvira looked back, right into Korra’s eyes. “I never got to know you back when you worked for Su, but I wish I had. Maybe I could’ve stopped everything sooner. If I hadn’t disappeared, or let Zaheer kill the Earth Queen…I don’t blame you for how you started out. You’re the first of my big foes that ever had enough self-awareness to turn themselves in. I think that’s significant, and I don’t want to forget it. But, I also don’t want you to either. I can’t say for Su or Baatar, but there’s always hope. Don’t give up on yours.” Korra laughed. “I don’t recognize the words coming out of my mouth these days. It’s…It’s been a long journey.”

“I never wanted to hurt Su or any her family when I captured them, when I shot at you and Baatar. I know they won’t believe me, but I need it to feel more than it does inside my head.”

Korra glanced back and returned with a frown on her face. “I have to go. Seriously, is there nothing I can do about the ribs?”

Kuvira chuckled a little, but stopped quick. “If you’ve got something for numbing pain.”

Korra’s eyes lit up. “I don’t have it with me, but I’ll be back.”

* * *

 

Another two days passed. She stopped sleeping at night and resorted to napping all throughout the day. Time melted away, pain mixed with soreness, guilt, and memories. She thought about her parents a lot, wondering if they were still out there and knew what she had done. She wondered if Baatar Jr. was wooing another woman, if he needed any time to get over her. She thought about the new spirit portal, and if it was fate that she helped open it. She’d never been a spiritual person, but there was no denying how amazing it was. How amazing Korra’s powers truly were. To think she’d let a second of smugness pass across her face when she defeated Korra at Zaofu.

Hunger and energy came and went, but that day, at whatever time it was, Kuvira left her tray untouched. 

“Visitor for you, Great Uniter!”

And there was Korra. She ran across the bridge and stopped quick in front of the cage with a smile on her face. 

“Did you actually find something?” Kuvira asked.

Korra nodded. “I don’t know if it’ll work, but Mako thinks it might. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him what it was for.” She removed her hand from a fold in her clothing to reveal it was covered in some kind of clear liquid. “It’s sake. Is your cup empty?” Kuvira shook her head. “Hold on.”

Korra picked up the water from Kuvira’s cup with one hand and dropped the sake into the cup with the other. One glance back and Korra dropped the water off the bridge into the darkness below.

“You got me…sake…” Kuvira said, wondering if this was all a dream.

Korra shrugged. “Best I could do so long as you don’t let me heal you.”

Kuvira picked up the cup with a shaking hand and threw it back. She hadn’t drunk in so long, but the burn of the alcohol was oddly comforting. 

“Thank you,” she muttered.

Korra smiled. “Of course. Tell me if that works, and I can come back with some more. Should only be a few weeks until your ribs heal naturally, right?”

After a few minutes of small talk, so Korra could seem less suspicious, she got up to leave.

“Thank you, Avatar Korra,” Kuvira said.

“You’re welcome, again.”

“For everything.”

Korra nodded. “Hopefully they’ll let you out within our lifetimes. Maybe I’ll have trained enough to beat you in a duel.”

Kuvira smiled. “Hopefully.”

“Feeling any different?”

Not enough to really notice yet. “Enough.”

Korra smiled. “Maybe I’ll be back, then.”

Kuvira watched Korra disappear into the elevator shaft, the bridge disappearing with her, and although it was definitely the sake working on an unprepared mind and body, Kuvira felt better than she had in a while. She ran a hand through her hair and looked down at the little scar on right hand. There was a fair chance that Su and everyone from Zaofu would never forgive her, but there was still one person who had hope in her.

Some day, there might be two.

 


	2. A Light Touch

The worst part of the prison wasn't the isolation or darkness or the feeling that the cage was swaying when Kuvira closed her eyes, but every time the elevator doors opened and guards walked out. Kuvira was technically in "protected custody," an optimistic term for solitary confinement, and despite the fact the powers above decided a Hundred Year War-styled prison cell was better than anything modern or humane, there was still a need for so-called "amenities." Depending on how the guards were feeling, two to four times a day, they would come, open her cell door, slap platinum cuffs on her, and drag her off to take a shower, use the restroom, and get blinded by their little patch of outside they'd drop her in. She imagined she'd enjoy the time outdoors more if she wasn't still in such pain, but for the time being, her ribs still weren't healed, the empty, solid wood cell wasn't helping, and the guards were oblivious.

Sometime after her first meal (one of the guards had mentioned it being morning), Kuvira watched as two guards strode across the bridge. She'd gotten through a complete mental decision to try to braid her hair, but had only managed to reach behind and stop because of the pain.

"Let's go, Great Uniter!" one of the guards said.

Working on a security force for years, Kuvira became an expert at identifying individuals even while in uniform, but she hadn't bothered to learn these guards' faces. Maybe her thoughts were elsewhere, or maybe she just wanted to dehumanize them as much as possible, giving her more room for the hatred coursing through her veins. Besides, they called her Great Uniter, so why should she call them by their names?

She hadn't slept well in what must've been a few days, and there was nothing enticing about being led outside her cell. She looked away, pretending she hadn't heard them. If only they hadn't already seen that she was awake, she could've pretended to be asleep.

The other guard opened the cell door, whistling to himself.

"C'mon, Empress, we can't even try today? Don't wanna lose motivation this soon into the sentence," the first guard said as he crossed his arms.

"I don't need to go," Kuvira answered. Let them interpret it as they wanted.

The whistling guard kept coming forward.

"It's shower day, and if anything, sweetheart, it's for us, not you," the first guard said.

Kuvira wondered if she made these guys' jobs difficult enough that they'd switch her into a cell where she could be more self sufficient.

"Just grab her, Suk," the first guard said to the whistling one.

Kuvira watched every step Suk took, but it didn't prepare her for what he did. He looked her up and down, brushed his hand off on his pants leg, and grabbed her bare hand.

_Don't touch me!_ It took everything in her to keep the thought in her head and keep her facade.

He pulled her up in one jerk, his force knocking the breath out of her, taking her from the floor to her feet without her moving a muscle. The pain surged, burning and aching, less like thousands of burning stakes going into her side and more like she was being ripped apart. She couldn't help it. She cried out in pain and fell like a rag doll into the guard's chest.

"Spirits, Suk, what'd you do to her? She's crying now!" the unnamed guard said, laughing.

Suk was still holding her hand. He wore gloves, but she could imagine the sweat and grime he kept within them. She could imagine what he did with those hands, what he was—what he was _doing to her right then._ He'd started with his grip like a handshake, but now he was interlacing his fingers with hers. She clenched her fists and tried to bring one to her ribs.

"Forgot to put the handcuffs on, too," the guard continued as he produced a pair of cuffs. "Hold her up while I put 'em on."

Suk could've used half his brain and grabbed Kuvira from under her arms, but Su and Lin had clearly picked these guys just to drive the _paying_ point home, and the guard grabbed her by her waist. His meaty hand locked around her ribs and squeezed to keep grip.

If she wasn't already blubbering in pain, she started as he held her. This couldn't be her fate. She'd done some horrible deeds, but was this going to be the rest of her life?

"P-Please move your h-h-han—" she breathed.

"Done!" Nameless said, and Suk dropped her.

Kuvira could only assume they thought she could stand on her own.

"Forget this! Just grab one of her arms. Let Torma deal with her," Nameless said.

Each one took one of her arms, and with both of them being so much taller than her, they literally carried her with her feet off the ground the whole way there. The stretch did a number on her ribs, so she held her breath and tried to put as much weight onto her arms as she could. She thought about wrapping her legs around them to distribute the strain, but took the pain. Suk still held her hand, and he didn't need any more contact.

"I like you better in your prison garb," Suk whispered to her, as if the Nameless couldn't hear. "You show more skin. Your lover-boy must've had some view once that uniform came off."

She tried not to think about Baatar. Earlier on in their relationship, physical contact was as effortless as breathing, but each day Kuvira had to harden up for the campaign, the less loving everything became. What was once ruled by love and playfulness became an act to vent frustration. Besides, especially in the past several months, there wasn't much time anyway. Each of them had hardly slept, spent even less time in bed, even less time together alone in bed.

She closed her eyes, a memory of one of their few nights together nudging its way in. She tried to banish it, but indulgence won the instantaneous battle. It was a few years into rebuilding the Earth Kingdom, plans all set for the next day, a train bulleting toward one of the states in order to sign a contract. She'd already changed into her nightclothes and was removing her makeup when Baatar walked in. He'd taken the cloth she'd been using and tried to remove her eyeliner, only to smudge it all around her eye. She'd laughed, properly wiped off the makeup, and wiped the residue onto his cheek. She teased him, and he stopped her before she pulled out another with a kiss. She could still remember the way he tasted, the feeling of complete weightlessness and trust as he picked her up and dropped the two of them onto the bed, pillows scattering as they melted together.

To think it had been less than two years since that night, and here she was, injured, defeated, a monster rotting in prison, Baatar as far away as her parents.

Nameless and Suk handed Kuvira off to Torma, one of the few female guards, as if it'd make it any less humiliating to shower in front of a female over a male. Korra had come in twice more with the sake, and Kuvira'd almost gotten used to being numb before she showered, giving her enough strength to grit through showers without anyone's help. But, Korra hadn't come today, and Kuvira wouldn't be surprised if Suk set back whatever healing she'd gone through, so she might as well suck it up and face the inevitable now.

"Hey Torma, the mental anguish must've transferred to something physical today. The Great Uniter's going to need some help," Nameless said.

Suk and Nameless all but dumped Kuvira into Torma. Now in a woman's arms, it certainly felt less oppressive, but it also reminded her of that flash of a moment when Korra had held her after they were blasted into the Spirit World. It had been such a dizzying, unreal moment. It was so unreal because, in that moment, she had never felt so cared for and secure.

And there was no way in hell she'd ever tell Korra that. Not while she still had an ounce of her pride.

Then again, that was steading going down the drain.

Kuvira did what she could to remove her own clothing, but she didn't get very far. Torma did the rest, removing every article slowly and with the sort of gentleness one would expect from a compassionate human being.

Torma gasped after removing Kuvira's shirt.

"There's more bruising here than healthy skin. When did you get this?" Kuvira didn't answer. "I'll assume somewhere between falling out of the giant robot and being blasted into the Spirit World. C'mon, we should be able to make this quick."

There was no way Kuvira could stand, and at this point in her descent into a complete bottom feeder, there was substantial chance that she'd slip in the shower and break something else, so she cowered into a corner for its entirety. Torma lathered shampoo through her hair and spread soap onto the spots Kuvira couldn't reach, careful to be extra gentle on the bruised area. Kuvira said nothing, practically did nothing, feeling the burn in her cheeks and the knowledge that Torma could see how embarrassed Kuvira was in equal measures.

The guard left her at the very end, Kuvira able to spread the soap on her hands as little as she could and let the water pummel her clean. The water was cold to lukewarm, and she counted her blessings that they even gave her biweekly showers, but all she could think about was how she was sitting naked in a shower practically unable to move with a person being paid to help her waiting outside, who knew her body more than anyone Kuvira ever loved did.

Knowing the water would cover for her, she let the tears flow freely. She remembered the first time she'd cried in this prison. The guard who delivered her food made a comment about her smeared makeup. At least now the tear stains weren't visible. Just the damn bruises.

* * *

 

Korra came in later that day, all smiles and liquid contraband as usual.

"You look fresher, somehow," Korra commented.

"Shower," Kuvira answered.

Korra nodded. "Did you ask for that as a privilege or do they force you? Zaheer seemed so greasy when I saw him that I figured they didn't let prisoners have them."

Kuvira quirked a brow, and shook her head. "Is the Earth Em—Kingdom still standing?"

Korra laughed. "Yes. The states are still transitioning between your empire and Wu's proposed government, and I think it'll take a while, but it's on its way."

"What's he proposing?"

"A democracy."

How had that idiot come up with that? She hated to think she could give the prince credit. Korra looked down at the cup, still filled with water.

"This would be a lot easier if they gave you two cups." She played with the alcohol, removing it from the flask and whisking it around the cage, through the bars. "I talked to Lin the other day, and she said this isn't your permanent cell. Said it was your mental strength that made you the most dangerous, and that they wanted to truly beat you down before putting you into protected custody somewhere else. I guess they didn't believe your apology and wanted to make sure you weren't planning anything."

That should've relieved Kuvira, but all she could think about was that not only had Su not accepted her apology, but that she refused to believe that it had been genuine. It really shouldn't surprise her. Kuvira had seen how ballistic Su got when Aiwei betrayed Zaofu to the Red Lotus. Once someone seemed even a slight threat to Su and Su's Family, they were enemies through and through. To think Su could give pirates second chances, but not her own adoptive daughter.

"How long?" Kuvira asked.

"I'm not sure." Korra glanced over Kuvira's shoulder. "Is the shower in exchange for a blanket and pillow?"

Kuvira huffed. "Just give me the sake and go back to your friends outside. It's been a tough day."

Korra nodded. "Sure."

The Avatar did the same trick as last time, suspending the water in the air, transferred the sake into the cup, and waited until Kuvira had drunk to replace the water.

Kuvira thanked Korra, and Korra disappeared. The pain was duller than earlier that day, but it was constant, and just feeling it was exhausting. She'd definitely re-injured it that morning with those moronic guards; it hadn't hurt this bad in a while.

Too tired to move, she fell asleep right at the front of her cell.

She dreamt of Baatar and the soft touch he'd always used whenever his fingers brushed over her exposed skin. He'd understood her aversion to human contact even without a fully functional excuse and had taken time to gain her trust. She had loved him so much for it. She could still remember how it felt when he dug his hand into her nightshirt and ran his fingers up and down her side.

She awoke to that same side engulfed in pain. She opened her eyes and found Korra reaching into the cell, Kuvira's shirt pushed up and Korra's hand on her bruise.

"What are you doing?" Kuvira snapped as she startled away.

"Stop, I'm not done!" Korra whispered sharply.

"Don't ever do that again!"

Kuvira reminded herself that the guards must still be around if Korra was.

"Sorry. The guards were talking about how they had to drag you out of here today, and I remembered your ribs and I thought I could at least see if there's any more damage."

"There was a reason I wore gloves," Kuvira hissed.

"Sorry. Really, I just wanted to help. They've been broken again, if you wanted to know. Another few weeks to recover, and you can say the sake's working, but I know it's not proper pain medication. I could fix this right now."

Kuvira pulled her shirt down and put her hand over the area. "And then what? Don't you think the guards would notice that I'm suddenly healed or that you're touching me through the bars? I'm not getting more time because they think we're plotting an escape. Just leave it."

Korra stopped, and several moments passed in which Kuvira thought she had won. The dusty environment got to her, and she sneezed, resulting in the worst shot of pain since Suk nearly took her arm off.

"Okay, that's it, you're clearly out of your mind," Korra said.

Korra created a makeshift pair of handcuffs by freezing water connecting Kuvira's arm and legs to parts the bars. While Kuvira struggled, Korra reached inside the cell again, water covering one hand and the other lifting the bottom of Kuvira's shirt again.

"I can't wait to hear you thanking me," Korra muttered as she put her hand on the bruise.

Kuvira expected pain when Korra touched her, but the only feeling that lasted was that of the cold water hitting her skin. Then, it started to feel good. The ever-present stabbing pain began to dull. She felt something inside her reset. It was kind of miraculous.

Korra smiled a bit when Kuvira looked up at her. "It's incredible, isn't it? Earth's a very versatile element, but water has always had such a range to it for me. Makes me proud to be a water bender first."

When Korra removed her hand, the stabbing pain was completely gone, and it was only when she breathed that the dull pain returned.

"One of your ribs was about to stab your lung, so I reset that one. I just cleaned up the new damage for the new ones. Figured that's all Captain Kuvira would let me do."

As she spoke, she removed more water, formed it into a small disk, and froze it.

She handed it to Kuvira. "Maybe ice will work better than sake, at least until it melts."

Korra melted the ice shackles, cleaned up the water, and offer a smile.

"Next time, trade your shower for a pillow. I heard if you put it against your ribs when you breathe it lessens the pain."

As Kuvira watched Korra walk out, she knew there was no way to deny the Avatar's intentions.

There was also no way to deny how much Kuvira was looking forward to Korra returning.

She rubbed her temples and laid back down. That was enough for one day.

 


	3. Recovery

Korra's healing turned out to be the biggest blessing Kuvira could've received. She could change positions without being reduced to tears, she could sleep, and the knot in her stomach that came whenever the guards walked across that bridge loosened.

The day after Korra healed her, the guards tossed a pillow and blanket into the cell along with the meal. She tested out Korra's advice and tried deep breathing with the pillow pressed into her ribs. It was probably more the healing than the actual pillow, but she took her first few deep breaths in weeks sitting in that cell.

She smiled to herself for the first time since being arrested. If the pain kept to this minimum, she may be able to start moving freely again within a few days. She could firm up the muscle she'd lost rotting in the cell; she could dance again. For the lifeless times she didn't have Korra for company, tuning out her thoughts with movement was all she could envision keeping her sane.

The next time the guards opened her cell door for a shower, she got to her feet without human assistance, only a hand wrapped around the bar. It wasn't Suk and Nameless, anyway, so they didn't take much notice. Just threw on the cuffs and escorted her to Torma. Still in a bit of pain and not wanting to make Torma suspicious, Kuvira let the guard remove her shirt for her and wash her hair. In a moment of detachment, she thought about those spa treatments Baatar had talked about before they wed. He said they ought to clean off the dust of battle before approaching a wedding bed. Once the guard finished that, Kuvira finished everything else. She may not be at peace, alone, or anywhere near as euphoric as she'd been building the Earth Empire, but she felt empowered. She smiled thinking how out of place it was in prison.

But, nothing compared to her first trip out into the yard with only the dullest of aches in her ribs. Nothing would be more of a sign that the universe had hope for her than if someone decided she'd be safe to toss around a few rocks. Of course, the next time she'd be standing above earth would be when she got out of prison, which very well could be never, so she'd have to go with the next best thing.

She got on the floor, palms, knees, and toes pressed into the ground. Normally, she wouldn't be caught dead doing modified push ups, but she knew the lack of pain didn't equal a fully healed injury, and she wasn't about to break a new rib being careless.

But, it didn't hurt. She pulled her knees up off the floor and lowered her body, forehead to the ground and back up. No pain. She could feel the lost muscle and knew she'd have to do some work to get back to what she could do before her injury, but she'd done it. She let her body go slack on the ground, took as deep a breath as she could manage without major pain, and returned to a push up position.

She worked until the soreness in her arms would've rivaled that in her ribs, stayed sprawled on the ground for a minute or two, and got to her feet. It wasn't as graceful as she wanted, but she got the job done. She swiped beads of sweat off her brow and looked to the end of the yard. Running may still be out of the question and look suspicious, but moving had become utterly addictive. Almost like she was returning to a normal human being.

She paced around the yard for the remainder of her outdoor time, working up a sweat and never feeling better.

* * *

 

The euphoria didn't fade. She returned to her cell and finally put her hair back into the braid she used to love so much. When the guards slid her meal into the cell, there was an actual desire to approach it.

Kuvira was a little surprised that Korra hadn't commented on all the weight she'd lost while in prison. It really wasn't even a matter of the prison's food quality; as her mood plummeted, so did her appetite. She'd spent the first several weeks sleeping and lying against the wooden walls, so it wasn't like she needed that many calories.

But, this time was different. She could feel the gnawing ache of an empty stomach, and her mouth watered without even knowing what was on the tray. She crawled over to the tray and inspected its contents: a bowl of noodles, a couple slices of fruit, and the cup of water. She grabbed a slice of the fruit and took a bite. It wasn't ripe by any means, a bit too sour, but it brought back memories of those special occasions where Su would let her eat with her family. She finished off the fruit, untucked her legs from under her into a Lotus position, and put the bowl of noodles into her lap.

Deep down, she knew this would rank pretty low on meals of her life, but the noodles were still lukewarm and filling. Even if food wasn't going to make her whole again, at least she was beginning to feel more solid.

She spotted Korra through her peripheral vision, and considered stopping to greet her, but decided a nod would do.

"Wow, you look great," Korra commented as she sat down. "One week, and you're sitting up and eating? I'm going to have to tell Katara when I go back home. The guards thought you were on a hunger strike before. Waterbending's amazing, isn't it?" Kuvira moved to set the bowl down, but Korra stopped her. "Don't bother for me. I actually prefer this. I have a lot to tell you, and it's easier when you don't talk over me."

_Sounds familiar_ , Kuvira thought as she continued eating.

"First things first: there are five sets of guards who watch over you and escort you. Their schedules are pretty rigid, so knowing the weekly schedule should help you out, know what to expect. For instance, right now, it's two guards named Nauja and Takumi. They take their jobs very seriously, so I'm not going to give you anything. But, I'll come by in three days and bring you some sake or tea or whatever you want." Korra smiled. "I can't imagine you're not up to learn all this place's tricks."

It was moments like these where Kuvira wished she could've met Korra in another lifetime; Korra knew how and when to execute, and Kuvira could create airtight plans anticipating even the smallest of hairs falling out of place. This little contraband exchange was just the beginning of what they could do together.

"The guards are supposed to check in on any of your visits every few minutes, but—"

"Two of the five sets don't," Kuvira answered.

Right on cue, a window facing the opening to Kuvira's cell opened and the two guards poked their heads out.

"Five minutes, Avatar Korra," one called out.

Once they shut the window, Korra leaned closer to Kuvira.

"Okay, so I saw Beifong, and got some information about your prison situation. It was this big ordeal figuring out where to put you, and it started before our fight. Su wanted to put you in a prison like what the Red Lotus members were put into because your crime was on the same level as theirs, but Raiko wanted you somewhere closer and viewed you more as a warlord over a straight murderer, and figured a more traditional prison would be more acceptable. Then, after you were arrested, they tried to re-weigh everything based on your surrender, but Su's prison still ended up winning out." Korra paused. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but I figured you'd want to know."

Kuvira nodded. No, it was disheartening at best, but that wasn't all. "I've seen almost all of this prison, and it's not equipped to effectively take care of medical emergencies or anything more serious than day-to-day living."

"I guess if you actually hurt yourself or got sick, they'd have to move you, but you also don't know what _that_ facility would be like, and if it'd be any better."

Korra glanced back at the elevator, then at Kuvira. "Lift your shirt so I can see how your ribs are healing. I want to know what to bring for next time."

Knowing Korra wasn't going to drop it, Kuvira lifted her shirt just enough to show the wound. Korra looked back once more and lunged forward hand first. Kuvira cringed when their skin touched, and knew full well that it wasn't because it hurt.

"What did we agree to?" Kuvira hissed.

As quick as it came, Korra'a hand was gone. "I know, but I needed to see if everything was healing well internally." Korra furrowed her brow. "I still can't figure out if it's past trauma or if you're just against human contact."

Korra got to her feet. "See you later."

"Bye," Kuvira replied.

As she watched Korra leave, she wondered if she would tell Korra the story about her aversion to touching. It wasn't like her parents, for the eight years she knew them, were abusive. There were no later traumas while living in Zaofu. It had just always been. Lesser when she just a guard, but there.

No, she knew where it came from. It wasn't residue of trauma.

Or, not any physical trauma.

Back in Zaofu, she hadn't worn gloves. She'd accept hugs and hands on the shoulder from Su and the other Beifongs. She'd learned how to do her eye makeup from Su's tutorials. Sure, she wasn't touchy by any means, and her fighting style had evolved to her keeping her distance from her opponents, but that was an acceptable trait of metalbending. She had just mastered fighting through distance.

She could recall the moment she put her gloves on for the first time. The uniform was already an overwhelming sign that she'd become more than a makeshift peacekeeper and transitioned into something much bigger, but when she put those gloves on, she actually _felt_ like a world leader. She'd had the tile of Leader of the Earth Kingdom, even if Provisional had come tacked to the front. Putting on those gloves, she wasn't Kuvira anymore. Gone was the scared little girl who felt worthless in the face of having been cast aside by two sets of parents, who thought that hard work and a bowed head were keys to love. Only the master metal bender and leader who vowed to protect and care for her abandoned people remained.

Baatar had noticed the slight difference in their uniforms right away, and noted it to her after their first day breaking in the uniforms. _So the leader does get her own special piece,_ he had said. She'd shrugged and said it completed the look, even offered to get him a pair, but they both knew she wouldn't replicate it. As long as she was the only one who maintained a persona, the persona would grow and engulf the scared little girl without her even trying. People would see Kuvira and know that she was a meticulously put together and collected leader.

She could keep her distance. Because, without that distance, who's to say someone wouldn't look long enough and see the scared little girl? She had to do more than never _displaying_ vulnerability; she had to _believe_ that she had no vulnerabilities. She would step down to her soldiers' level, emphasize and share the same experiences, they'd shake her hand, feel the warmth of another human being, but she would not show them vulnerability, let them touch her actual skin. Since Baatar was the only person who knew Kuvira from her past, gloveless days, she didn't flinch or avoid his touch. There was nothing to hide with him. He knew about her childhood and understood as well as a boy with a loving family could.

So, maybe, yes, taking away those gloves was as simple as taking away her mask. She was already uncomfortable enough under Korra's touch, and even if she wished she could've savored that moment of comfort the Avatar had given her in the Spirit World, she hadn't, it was over, and her defenses were up to stay. The guards couldn't do anything short of getting Su to accept her back into the family so she could marry Baatar to gain her approval, let alone her trust. The fact that the guards had treated her like some sexual object with their touch only made it all the more revolting.

_If Korra would just tell me…_

No. No, not even if Korra told her in advance. She could envision a friendship down the line with Korra, but not the kind of intimate friendship where touch played a role. Kuvira would only let Korra touch her in order to heal her, nothing more.

_She's already held you in her arms and watched you cry. She might as well be on the same level as Baatar_ , she thought.

As painful as memories of Zaofu were, memories of all her interactions with Korra were beginning to hurt even more. But, it wasn't scorned that she felt, but guilty. Kuvira had taunted Korra when she was at her lowest, engaging her in a battle for no more than the amusement of her soldiers. She'd smiled and laughed at the Avatar's pain, as if she hadn't felt that exact helplessness within her lifetime. Then, when Korra saved her as the Colossus went down, Kuvira's reaction had been to launch a rock at Korra's face and shoot her with a super weapon. She shouldn't have given Kuvira mercy.

No, she'd held an injured Kuvira in her arms, gave her comfort instead of rubbing it in. Somehow, it had been the most honest comfort she could remember. Baatar would have his many moments of affection, but there was always the tension of sex and romantic love, and they had never suffered together to see what that kind of comfort would look like. Su had given her affection in her early days in the family, but if one of the other kids needed her, she would put them first, whether it be in cutting a hug short to unscramble the twins or not maintaining eye contact, lost in thought when Kuvira confined in her.

All it pointed to was that Kuvira needed to be more appreciative before the Avatar abandoned her as well.

 


	4. The Platinum Ring

Two days until Korra returned, and Kuvira continued to craft her inner peace, now doing pull ups using the ceiling of her jail cell. She only worked out when she knew there wouldn't be anyone coming in for a while. She couldn't say for sure, but if the guards who brought her food knew she was strong enough to work out, they might limit her food to keep her from being strong enough to break out, as if she could get out of that wooden cage without her bending.

So, to say she was surprised to see the elevator door opening while she was mid-pull up would've been an understatement. She dropped down, stumbling a bit, but still landing on her feet.

It wasn't a guard who stood at the start of the bridge.

It was Lin and Su.

She shook her head, unable to believe it. What would Su be doing here? Had she finally come to her senses and was about to accept Kuvira's apology?

(No, then she wouldn't be with Lin.)

She wasn't…being moved, was she? No, nothing had changed, and she hadn't done anything to get out of the wooden cage. She came up with a dozen different scenarios, avoiding the one that would hurt the most to have proven wrong: that Su was back to say that what had happened when Kuvira got arrested was just her emotions getting the better of her.

They got within five feet, Su with her arms crossed and jaw clenched, Lin standing much looser. Lin pushed Su forward with one hand.

"Go ahead," Lin said.

Su's face relaxed, and she walked the remaining few feet to Kuvira's cell. She peered in, looked right at Kuvira, but it was like she wasn't looking at person. She looked the way people look at piles of overflowing trash on the street.

"She's not injured. Tell the warden that he's out of his mind," Su said.

They…came here to see if she was injured?

First off, why were they suddenly concerned for her so-called injuries after months here? Wouldn't they have noticed if there was a problem weeks ago? A doctor had checked her, and said broken ribs healed on their own. That couldn't be the only reason.

"That's not why you're here, and either way, you can't tell if she's injured based on _looking_ _at her_ ," Lin retorted.

Su pivoted to look back at Lin. "If you came here to watch a heartfelt reunion, just get the information you want and we can leave."

"No, I'm tired of you lashing out at your family, and as much as you think you're angry at Baatar Jr., you're really angry at your protege here. So get it out. She's right here."

"Fine." Su looked back to Kuvira. "You want to say anything else? Say again how sorry is going to fix you attempting to murder my son, nearly using my daughter as target practice on a super weapon, hurting and threatening all those people along the way? Or do you have some magical ability to take it all back, return everything to how it used to be, when I still cared about you?"

It was like the world had washed away.

Kuvira felt a lump rise in her throat. "You cared about me?"

Su had never really been explicit about it, even all those years living in her house...

"Keyword _cared_ , Kuvira. Yes, you _were_ my protege, and I would've happily had Baatar Jr. ask for your hand in marriage, but you had to feel like an exotic bird and took out your anger onto the Earth Kingdom and my innocent children. If you had such a problem with me, you should've just come to me directly. I didn't forgive Aiwei after he helped the Red Lotus, and you're delusional if you think I'll ever forgive the monster who was willing to kill my children and the innocent for a power trip."

She could protest, say that she never meant for any of that to happen, that she could make it up to Su, that she truly loved Baatar Jr. and wanted to still be a part of the family, but what would it all be worth?

Kuvira stayed silent, and sat under Su's gaze, no less critical and angry than when she first got arrested.

"To think how much better shape the Earth Kingdom would've been in if I hadn't taken you in."

The jab went to right to her heart, the pain so real Kuvira swore her ribs started hurting again. Tears burned in her eyes, but she wasn't about to let Su see her cry. But, as she opened her eyes, she had to wipe them with the back of her hand. Su was still looking at her, the same anger in her face, but something different in her eyes. Before Kuvira could figure out what, Su walked away.

Lin stepped forward. "Su's never been all that compassionate, more like our mom than I am. Can also hold a grudge like nobody's business. Don't kill yourself trying to win her back. So, the guards were saying that you could barely walk a few weeks ago. Have your ribs gotten better or do I need to call in a doctor?"

"No need for a doctor."

"Try not to get the guards riled up, then. I have my own work to get done."

Lin tapped the wood a couple times, nodded toward Kuvira, and walked away.

She managed to wait until both Beifongs had left before letting the tears really flow.

What was the point in denying it anymore? Su was never going to forgive her. Even if Baatar wanted to see her again, he'd be swept away by his loving family. Besides, if Baatar wanted to see her, wouldn't he have come by now? At least written a letter.

She was alone. Her adopted family was never coming back. Her fiance was never coming back. Her supporters were either hiding in the shadows or in jail, and she couldn't keep track of them even if she wanted to because she was stuck in a wooden cage. No amount of healing, gaining back muscle, and forming a new outlook on life would change the fact that she was going to spend the rest of her life in this wooden cage, never to redeem herself, get married, have children, or anything in between. Korra could visit all she wanted, but that wasn't going to change.

She laid down, tucking herself into the blanket, and shut her eyes. If only she could shut her eyes and stay asleep until the end of her prison sentence. Or her life. Whichever came first.

* * *

 

She woke up by a knock on her cell and the sound of a tray being slid towards her. She considered turning the food down, but if there was anything clear in her life, it was that turning down that food wouldn't be a grand gesture of her inner pain, but Kuvira throwing herself a pity party. She might be accepting some hard truths, but she refused to be pathetic.

Rather, more pathetic than she'd already become. She wasn't some abandoned eight-year-old girl anymore, and didn't, shouldn't need the love of Suyin Beifong to live her life. It'd be close to impossible to fully convince herself that it didn't devastate her that Su had rejected her like that, but needed to start accepting it. If she couldn't live out her sentence waiting to be welcomed back into the Beifongs' arms, she'd need something new to focus on.

She lost a lot rotting in that cell, but she would not lose her motivation. So she couldn't get Su to forgive her, and would assume she couldn't do the same for Baatar. She had something new to replace it:

She was getting out of this prison.

No, not escaping her punishment. She still owed it to the people she hurt to serve out her sentence. But, she was getting out of this wooden cage.

For the next several hours, while eating, exercising, and pacing, she came up with her plan.

Korra was supposed to visit the next day, and her shower was the day after that. Most likely, Kuvira could convince Korra to give her a block of ice, say her ribs were still sore. It wasn't completely untrue. From there, she'd use it to bruise up her ribs again. If it wasn't enough, she'd "fall" in the shower. All she needed was a bad enough injury get sent to a different facility.

As she ironed out as many kinks in the plan as she could, she thought about what Korra had said, how she didn't know if the prison they'd send her to would be any better. But, honestly, was there anything worse than this cage?

_They could prevent you from having visitors. They could put you in chains. You know what they did to the Red Lotus._

Yet, was she really similar to them? If she managed to get out of this prison, it wouldn't be because she tried to break out, it would be because she hurt herself.

_And once you heal, won't they just send you right back?_

Would the few weeks she could spend outside of this prison be enough, or would she end up craving more? _Just like with the Earth Empire…_

She shook her head; completely different situations. She just needed to get out of here for a little bit, so she could stop imagining Su Beifong walking down the bridge so she could crush Kuvira's heart over and over again. _And you wonder why I became who I was—_

No, she couldn't think like that. She had made so much progress ever since she and Korra were blasted into the Spirit World. She wanted to be the good person she'd started out as, and a major part of that was not glorifying or trying to justify any of the horrors she committed. She wanted to become a hero again someday, and it wouldn't come from living in the past.

The past.

It almost made the Beifong clan and Zaofu all seem irrelevant if she were truly trying to reform herself and move on. The only person encouraging her transformation was Korra and she ought to focus the majority of her attention on what Korra taught her, now not what Suyin Beifong had once taught her.

Hours must've passed because when she looked down at her tray, the food was different. She then realized they hadn't put chopsticks with it.

Right on schedule, two guards Kuvira didn't recognize exited the elevator, one holding the utensils they usually gave her.

"…And then I found out that my husband lied, that my engagement ring wasn't made of platinum at all! Can you believe the nerve?"

Kuvira rolled her eyes. Even Baatar, who had the least sense of aesthetics of his whole family, had managed to pick out a platinum band. She always hated it how they had taken that ring away from her; even she couldn't bend platinum.

She looked back up at the unhappy wife and noticed she wore earrings. Not many guards bothered, and if they did, it was a requirement that they were made of platinum. If this guard's husband had lied about the platinum ring, was it possible that he had lied about the earrings too?

Using the gentlest touch of metal bending, she slid the back off the left earring.

Her eyes widened as she heard the faint clack of the back hitting the wood bridge.

The guard was wearing another metal. Kuvira…Kuvira finally had a piece of her power back.

She slid the back off the bridge, underneath the cage, and in through an opening in the back bottom. It was metal, but it was also tiny, not big enough for what Kuvira now had on her mind. She looked up at the guard, who was still blissfully unaware. Could she get an earring off this woman without her noticing? Everything she could think of said yes. Women lost earrings all the time, and only great metal benders like herself would notice. This guard had clear Fire Nation features. It was a good chance.

Now, how to distract the guard enough for her not to notice her earring coming off.

The guard got down on her hands and knees and reached her hand through the slit in the bottom, handing Kuvira off the chopsticks. Kuvira reached for the chopsticks and knocked the steaming bowl of ramen right into the guard's hand. She shrieked, pulling her hand away.

"Sorry," Kuvira muttered as she removed the earring.

The guard cradled her hand into chest and watched as Kuvira set the bowl back upright, some of its contents not quite making it back in.

"No compensating for any spills," the guard muttered as she collected her pride and walked off.

In the time it took the guards to get out, Kuvira played dumb, eating whatever was left of her meal knowing she had an earring and its back lying on the floor of her cell. Once they left, though, Kuvira was reborn. She snatched control of the metal and slammed the two pieces together in front of her face. After reattaching the pieces, she melted them into whatever shapes she could form. If she wanted maximum length, she'd have to settle for a narrow point, more needle than knife. She tried again, forming a a tiny square blade with the dimensions of her thumbnail. Might not cut deep enough. She shaped it into a sort of teardrop shape. Kuvira wished she had more metal, but this should get the job done.

She took the blade, held out her left wrist, and dug it into the skin. She cringed as the pain shot through, but it was definitely manageable. She slid the blade back and forth until she had a sizable, deep cut. She pulled the blade out and flexed her fingers. No loss of circulation, meaning she didn't hit anything that important. Good. Only problem was she wasn't bleeding enough to give the impression that her traditionally cry for help cuts were an actual suicide attempt. She started slashing her right wrist, and the blood gushed at about the same rate. She took a deep breath and set her wrists out in front of her, cutting both with single slices, back and forth. Cut wounds were getting wider, but the blood just wasn't going to be sufficient. She had to look like she was nearly bled out, and actually passing out would be a plus. Damn the iron stomach of a soldier.

What part of the body bled the most when cut? Where could she possibly hide said cut?

The scalp.

She sliced across her scalp, deep enough to hide the cuts within her hair but close enough to her forehead that it'd be easily accessible. Then, _then_ , the blood started gushing. She put her injured wrists to her scalp and smeared the blood on.

It felt like she'd left her body as she collected the blood, swiping it off her eyebrows every time streams would nearly make it into her eyes.

Now, for passing out. There was some trick Wing and Wei had learned for one of their little games they used to play. Su had hated it, banned them from playing it the moment she found one of them passed out as the other laughed. They'd explained it to Kuvira and asked her to try it, but she declined. Curiosity hadn't overtaken common sense at the time. If only she could remember it. It was something about standing up quickly and breathing with one's thumb in one's mouth. No, it started with one of them crouching down…

She remembered the exact trick. After swiping one last line of blood out of her eyes, she crouched down, put her head between her knees, and breathed deeply. She glanced up, sure the guards weren't watching her at that exact moment. Didn't seem so.

She inhaled, stood up, and stuck her thumb into her mouth, sealing off any oxygen she could possibly get. As she tried to breathe, she had one thought, and one thought alone:

_Please don't let Korra see me like this._

For once, it wasn't to guard her pride, but rather out a tiny well of shame.

Everything went black, and she didn't even get to hear her own body hit the floor. The blade was in her hand, digging into her skin.

The guards would talk about it for weeks, how they came in to take the Great Uniter's tray and found her passed out, soaking in her own blood, a metal blade that could cost them their jobs in her hand.

 


	5. A New Room

Kuvira regained consciousness as the guards hoisted her onto a stretcher, probably no more than a minute after passing out. Neither of the two guards saw her wake up, so she closed her eyes and played the part. She was still bleeding, but she didn't have the luxury of wiping away any blood this time. The blade was out of her hand, but a new cut took its place.

She must've fallen asleep while pretending to be out cold, because she woke up in a white room surrounded by medical supplies, looking up at a nurse and Lin.

She inspected her wrists, and they'd been bandaged up, her arms restrained to the bed. There was nothing left of her scalp wound but a faint sense of itchiness.

"You're lucky," Lin said. "Your cuts didn't cause any permanent nerve damage, but I suppose you chose your cuts based on keeping your bending." Kuvira furrowed her brow. "Don't give me that. You might have the White Lotus guards in that forsaken prison and President Raiko believing your stunt, and if I wanted to, I could even tell Su next time I want to jab her that she caused you to attempt suicide with that line about you being an orphan, but you can't fool me." Lin turned to the nurse. "She need you any longer?"

The nurse shook her head. "It was more of a big mess than anything, and she's all cleaned up."

"Welcome to suicide watch," Lin said as she slapped on the platinum cuffs once the bed restraints came off.

Kuvira got herself out of bed and rolled her shoulders back, both to loosen up the tense muscle and to let Lin know that she had guessed right.

"You know, sometimes, when I look at my half-destroyed office, I think about what would've happened if you hadn't grown high off power and just stepped down. I'm sure as an Earth Kingdom citizen, you knew what the Kyoshi metal meant. You knew how much the world leaders owed you, and a hog monkey could've figured out what kind of an idiot Prince Wu was at the coronation. It amazes me how you never realized that you were one of our first candidates to serve as an advisor under the prince's rule."

"I don't regret turning down the opportunity to become a puppet master for a brat who was more concerned with the jewels he couldn't have than his own people. I took the enforcement the wrong way, but I don't regret standing up for the people and risking my own good graces with the world's leaders for it."

"All I mean to say is that I would've loved having someone as efficient and smart as you playing a major role in world affairs. But, that isn't the case. No, the smartest person in a gaggle of idiots placed in law enforcement uniform is the war criminal who faked a suicide attempt to change her surroundings. Or spite Su. Didn't have enough time with you conscious to figure it out."

In truth, Su had spoken wonders about Lin all of Kuvira's life, and she held Lin in high regard as well. She hadn't even really minded when Lin had dismissed Kuvira's behind the scenes work following Zaheer nearly kidnapping Korra. At times, Kuvira wished the timing had been better, so she could've gotten to know Lin better before leaving Zaofu. Kuvira had done a lesson or two with Toph early on (in which Toph had found Kuvira metal bending one of Su's meteorites and had called Su off for not including Kuvira in the lessons she was giving Wei and Wing), and she'd always appreciated Toph's no nonsense attitude. Lin had always reminded Kuvira more of the Beifong matriarch, and recently, Lin had grown back in favor with Kuvira.

So, she didn't really mind that Lin knew about the fake out. It made her respect her a little more.

"Can you really blame me? It was the guard."

Lin's face twisted up in even more pent up rage. "And that damn guard is the epitome of this entire idiotic situation. How do you not know that you're wearing metal on person? How had none of those guards noticed? They might as well have been giving you a metal tray with all your meals. Rest assured, you aren't going back there, and neither is anyone for a while."

She supposed she could mark the stunt as a success, then? Given a bit more time in the nurse's station and she may have even felt bad for causing those guards to get fired, but her mind was elsewhere, eyes glued to the new surroundings of her new prison as they passed through hallways lined with administrative offices, guards in black uniforms brushing past them, occasionally nodding towards Lin. The facilities were much cleaner, almost shinier, it seemed. Definitely a building from this century.

Kuvira's new cell lay at the end of a hall of solitary confinement cells, slits at eye and floor level the only signs of their existence. She knew Lin Beifong wasn't going to take any more chances, but she lightly kicked the toe of her shoe against the door as Lin produced the keys. She couldn't feel the metal within, and guessed it was made of platinum. Already a step up from wood.

Lin opened the door and let Kuvira walk in. It was a little smaller than the apartment she had back in Zaofu, with a twin bed, a bookshelf, a table with two chairs, and small mirror on the wall. Another door was tucked into the corner. Everything was made of wood, but the bedding was a sea blue, the walls cream. It really was almost like an apartment.

Lin opened up the other door, revealing a shower, sink, and toilet jammed inside. An entire wall of the room was made of mirror.

"You see the mirror?" Lin said. Kuvira nodded. "That's two-way glass. Same with the one outside. In the original plan, once we were finished negotiating your prison sentence, we were going to throw you in here anyway. But, in light of your mental instability, President Raiko and Prince Wu would have nothing less than around the clock surveillance of your condition until you've stabilized. You'll be under intense scrutiny for the first seventy-two hours, and after that, you'll be allowed visitors, and anything they bring to you will be screened."

"Understood."

Lin removed the handcuffs and slammed the door as she left.

She looked around the room again, gaze skipping over the mirror, and moved to the bed. It felt heavenly to have an actual mattress under her again, but she couldn't ignore how much this place reminded her of Zaofu and how much it hurt. If she closed her eyes, if the bookshelf had a few more books and art pieces, she could've been back home in Zaofu. Amazing how she'd felt so trapped there; imagine how Captain Kuvira would've felt sitting in this jail cell.

The first seventy-two hours went by in a blur, Kuvira spending most of her time curled up in bed and flipping through the books they gave her. They'd given her a felt-tipped pen to go with the paper on the desk, and the best she could do was draw pictures, not write letters, as if she had anyone to write to. She thought about her fake suicide attempt over and over again, unsure if it was really worth it. Pragmatically, it was one of her worse decisions, closer to the vein of "acting without really thinking things through," as Korra had said back in the spirit flower bed. But, was it regrettable? Not necessarily. She couldn't tell if Lin had been bluffing about the surveillance only existing because Kuvira had slit her wrists. It could've been in place regardless. She was a high profile war criminal, after all. It would only make sense that Republic City claimed to have locked her up in a high security cell, and having the twenty-four/seven watch accomplished both the humane angle and the thorough angle to Kuvira's imprisonment. Most likely, they had been lying.

So, really, the only thing Kuvira had brought upon herself was having to lie in this cell with the lights on twenty-four/seven without visitors. She set the book she'd been looking at, some old history of Omashu book, and stared at a spot on the wall. She thought about what Lin had said, how she would've used Kuvira's suicide attempt as a means to hurt Su. She wondered if Su would've really felt bad about the orphan comment.

She sighed; no seemed more plausible. So long as Su didn't contact her, she'd assume Su still hated her.

The only person whose reaction she couldn't predict would be Korra's. Would Korra feel bad for her, or would she see through the suicide attempt like Lin had?

The slit at the bottom of the door slid open and a letter flew through. Kuvira furrowed her brow and grabbed the letter. Who would be writing to her? Korra would've just come herself, especially with the seventy-two hour period up, so who did that leave? She'd be delusional to think anyone from the Metal Clan would be writing to her, and there was no way they'd be letting her read any fan letters from Earth Empire supporters.

But, before she could get a good look at it, a guard announced that she had a visitor.

Korra.

She walked in with less pep in her step, but still kept that smile on her face.

"Hey," Korra said.

"Hey," Kuvira replied, shuffling away the letter.

Korra hesitated, starting to say a few words, but never finishing a full sentence. She sighed. "I heard things have been rough."

Kuvira nodded.

"You want to talk about it, or would you like me to tell you about something else?"

"There's not much to say about what happened to me."

Korra nodded. "Well, okay." She bit her lip. "The security in here is quite a lot tighter, but I'll still try to bring in tea or snacks."

Kuvira thought about replying with a snarky comment, but it felt unfair to the one person who was treating her like a semi-human being. "I'd appreciate it."

Korra twisted her chair around and straddled it, elbows on the table. "Do they let you have newspapers in here?"

Kuvira shrugged. "I haven't asked, but I'd expect they would." She paused. "Why?"

"Wu isn't even Ba Sing Se yet; they still hold you in such high regard for what you did for their city, and they're dubious about another royal even stepping foot back into the city." She paused. "It'll be weird to see how they write it in the history books. Not even the Hundred Year War was clean cut, and Firelord Ozai was a ruthless tyrant."

Kuvira raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to assure me that I won't be forced into exile if I ever even get out of here?"

"I'm not the only one who doesn't see a ruthless dictator." She paused. "Will you be honest with me?"

Kuvira's stomach twisted. "Depends."

"Did you really attempt suicide, or was it just to get out of the wooden box?"

She couldn't deny the shame anymore; it spilled out of her sticky and hot, and she didn't dare make eye contact with Korra. Spirits, it sounded so stupid now that she was forced to say it out loud. What had she done? "Su visited, and after she left, I knew I had to do something. That I had to distract myself or risk sinking back into the depression I started out with."

"And…cutting yourself was a good way to counteract feeling horrible?"

Kuvira felt her ears go hot.

"It worked in a roundabout way." She lightly kicked the leg of her table. "I'm happier here. I don't regret what I did to get here. I won't be insulted if you leave now and never come back. I'm sure I look like a pretty helpless case."

Korra shrugged. "We cope in some weird ways. Su taking you out of her life may be just as traumatizing to you as my battle with Zaheer was to me."

"I wouldn't say that—"

"But it hits deep. I can't blame you if you weren't thinking rationally." She smiled. "And as for me giving up on you now, that wouldn't be serving your punishment, now would it? I'm not leaving until you trust me enough to explain to me what the hell happened in the three years I was away and what my fight with Zaheer looked like from your perspective."

As undeniable as it was that this was going to be her new home, Kuvira began to finally realize that Avatar Korra would be as much a part of this as the chair she sat in. Not even faking a suicide attempt, which could be considered absolutely insane by most people, wasn't phasing Korra. Part of Kuvira wanted to ask Korra the exact same question, what she'd gone through in those three years. How had Korra gone from the headstrong young woman who had faced Zaheer to the broken woman whom Kuvira had nearly killed to the person who had jumped in front of a spirit beam, risking both her own life and the Avatar Cycle to save Kuvira's life?

She couldn't deny it anymore. Kuvira wanted to talk to Korra as much as Korra wanted to. She was unbelievably relieved to hear that Korra wanted to come back.

Not even thinking about the letter she had received, she replied, "The highlight was nearly having my shoulder get ripped out by saving your father. A month later, I actually had my shoulder ripped out saving someone else."

Korra smiled. "Tell me about it."


	6. The Girl in the Sling

Weeks continued to pass with Kuvira reduced down to exercise, reading, and pretending that her new set of guards weren't watching her twenty-four/seven. Korra's visits had gone from a highlight of the week to something she genuinely looked forward to, like metalbending lessons when she was a kid.

Korra walked in empty handed that week.

"Hey, so I realized that I forgot the Pai Sho board, so I'm going off on a limb here: want to exercise together? I don't know, if I were stuck in here, I'd miss training, but maybe you were a solitary trainer anyway…"

She hadn't exercised with anyone since her days as a dancer; Baatar didn't like Kuvira showing him up, so they never exercised together.

She looked to Korra, unsure of what to say. Part of her yearned for that bit of nostalgia and a different pace, but she still wasn't comfortable with showing Korra too much vulnerability. Besides, it felt…intimate. If not for Korra, for her.

"I don't know if we're…close enough yet."

"C'mon, it's not like I'm marrying you," Korra joked.

They started with something simple that involved neither of them touching.

"I saw you're front page news," Kuvira said right before they started their first set of planks.

"In a newspaper?"

"A gossip magazine."

Korra laughed. "You read those?"

Kuvira rolled her eyes. "I asked for a newspaper, and apparently these guards are so depraved that they got a kick out of giving me something else."

"What'd the magazine say?"

Kuvira waited until her still underworked core stopped shaking. "That you and the CEO of Future Industries are dating."

Kuvira caught the Avatar blushing. "Sound reporting."

"I never knew you were—"

"Bi?"

"Dating within your team."

"Oh, well, I've technically dated everyone in my group of friends. Being too close for too long does that." Korra smiled. "I mean, you dated within your inner circle."

"One person."

"That's enough for my point."

Kuvira focused back on the plank. "We were childhood friends. He was awkward and antisocial, and I was the only girl he saw on a regular basis aside from his sister and mother. It was bound to happen."

"Well, I like to think Asami and I were bound to happen."

"How long have you known her? Just since the Equalist movement?"

"You know about that?"

"We get news in Zaofu. Besides, Su was concerned for Lin when the revolution got out of hand, and she'd be talking about it every time I talked to her."

"Yeah, Asami and I met then." Korra paused. "But, we sort of met as romantic rivals. She started dating Mako when I still had this huge crush on him."

Kuvira raised a brow. "And you two didn't kill each other?"

They dropped their plank and Korra rolled into a sitting position. "It got a _bit_ hairy, but we never really blamed each other as much as we blamed Mako. And, by the time the air benders came back, we were good friends." She paused. "It felt good to have a girl friend, and I guess it just developed past that. Sit ups?"

Kuvira sighed; she supposed she owed Korra some trust for all she'd done. "Sure."

When Korra didn't move, Kuvira took the sit up position and Korra leaned her weight onto Kuvira's feet. It felt so strange having a human's warmth on her again. It reminded her of her friends in Su's dance troupe, a sort of distant comfort. She ought to start dancing again soon.

"When did you and Baatar Jr. get together?"

She hadn't thought about it in a while. In fact, she still hadn't read that letter, and the best bet she could give was that it was from Baatar venting his emotions. She was almost ready to admit that she was scared to open it.

"The…attraction was there all through the initial planning to leave Zaofu, but we never acted upon anything. There was just too much to do. We formally got together after we secured Ba Sing Se. There was a celebration, he asked me to dance, and kissed me on the floor. It was before I started adapting to the obstacles involved in the campaign. But, it wasn't long after. We kept any affection behind closed doors. I had to maintain appearances, and romance would be an obvious sign of vulnerability."

The burn of the sit ups felt so good; she could almost ignore how she had never talked about Baatar with anyone. "I think it just makes you human. More relatable."

"Bandits don't respond kindly to 'relatable.'"

Korra smiled. "They rip your shoulder out of its socket?"

Kuvira couldn't help but smile at the memory. "And Baatar leaves the room, leaving a soldier to help me pop it back in."

"Did Baatar even go into battle?"

"No. He created, not fought. There would've been no reason to risk his life in the squabbles to unify the Earth Kingdom. He liked to keep fit, though."

"But you were always stronger than him, right?"

"Yes."

"Did he have a hard time with it?"

"Did Mako?"

Korra started laughing, and Kuvira only resisted because she was mid-sit up.

"I brought up Asami so you'd be talking," Kuvira said. "Let's switch."

They switched, and Korra brought the conversation back. "Well, we just decided to go on vacation after Varrick's wedding."

"Varrick survived?"

There was a long silence. "The Hummingbird you destroyed had Asami's father in it."

One more life she completely and utterly destroyed while drunk on power. It had been semi-okay thinking Varrick had died because he didn't actually have anyone who relied on him or really cared about him besides Zhu Li, who assumedly had died with him.

"I'll ask you to tell her that I'm sorry, but it wouldn't mean much now."

"She never begrudged the triad that killed her mother, so I imagine she'll come around eventually."

"Did you…tell her about visiting me?"

Korra exhaled. "No. Our relationship is still so new, and I don't want to ruin the dynamic we've got right now."

"By lying to her? Where does she think you go once a week?"

"Visiting with Beifong." Korra glanced at the mirror on the wall. "It's technically true."

"Take it from me: just tell her and accept the tension. If she really loves you, she'd understand why you're doing what you're doing."

Korra smiled. "You just want me to keep coming."

She looked away. "You're the one coming in each week."

"Also, should I really be taking relationship advice from someone whose proper breakup is shooting her fiancé with a spirit weapon?"

"He knows it wasn't him, it was about the nation. It's children over lovers." She focused on a spot on the wall. "And his survival wasn't meant to be part of the equation."

"Have you talked to him?"

Korra might've become a friend, but she wasn't even ready to talk about Baatar with herself. "I thought we were talking about Asami."

"I mean, it's going well. Not sure what you're looking for." Korra paused. "Do you know if there was a point where you had to change how you went about uniting the Earth Kingdom? I just have this memory of you being this nice, obedient, kind of peppy worker of Su's."

She ignored the backhanded question. "During a clash in one of the smaller neighboring towns around Ba Sing Se. It had been a month or so of success, but every area would have villagers who tried to work against me because they feared the bandits more than they trusted me to help. I'd get called awful names, attacked, everything, but I tried to keep it as humane as possible, never doing more than blocking their attacks and hoping our actions would speak loud enough to get through to them. But, not this one town. Its people had been starving, children piled into a single makeshift hospital dropping from a sickness that's had a cure for years. The bandits had moved into town, and it was so clear who they were; they'd sit around on deserted streets gambling and drinking, taking their bursts of violence out on anyone who was unlucky enough to pass by. The first thing we did was promise our protection and supplies for as long as they needed them. People had come out, and I could tell that they wanted to be helped, but were too scared of the bandits.

"At the time, I had sustained my second major injury since beginning the campaign, and my left arm was in a sling, so I put my uniform on over it, stuffed the sleeve and put a glove on with it. It went well at first: I've mastered metalbending enough to where I'm fine working with one arm and earthbending at my feet. But, there was this one band of bandits that refused to back down. I tried the nice way one last time with this particularly burly man who had taken up leadership. We seemed to be getting somewhere, but he attacked me out of the blue, ripping my jacket open as I was shot down. The sling became visible, and he started laughing, saying it's clear that I couldn't handle what I'd done before and that he would never relinquish his power to a little girl. That he'd rather the people starve and die than let me win. He tried attacking again, and something just…changed. All the emotion I'd been holding onto, that had kept everything so clean, just slipped off.

"I pulled off a few layers of sheet metal off my uniform, wrapped it around his neck, and raised him off the ground to choke. I told him to remember to remember the hurt little girl as he died. He begged for mercy, tried every trick in the book. My second-in-command told me to let him go, but as I considered it, he told me that all I was doing was distracting myself as his group attacked and that I was just as weak as he thought. I snapped, crushed his windpipe, and set the bloody metal back onto my uniform."

She paused, studying Korra. The Avatar didn't reveal any judgement either way, simply engrossed in the story. The exercising had stopped.

"After that, I thought in a bigger picture, and less about the individual lives of the bandits as they fell or scattered. My reputation preceded me, and eventually, everything they said about the Great Uniter became true, the good and bad." Kuvira paused. "I just never expected the bad to end up so bad."

There were another few moments of silence. "So you killed a guy, what, three times your size, with a broken arm? Who taught you to do that? All those coercing moves with metalbending?"

She paused. "I learned them myself. Su's guard didn't encourage violence."

Korra nodded. "I wouldn't blame you for killing that guy. Especially if the tension had been mounting for a while."

"Don't humor me if you have to lie."

"I'm not lying."

"Korra, stop. I know how this works. I should've never lost my cool and killed that man. If I hadn't done that, maybe I could've done good by your absence and fixed the Earth Kingdom, stepped down and accepted that metal…"

Korra shook her head. "I talked to Bolin about you, and we talked about your decision of not stepping down. The way you worded it made him uncomfortable, but that wasn't what made him decide he couldn't work with you, and I see why. Prince Wu wouldn't have made anything better. You did what you thought was right for the people, and part of me thinks that I would've done the same thing in your position."

Kuvira hadn't thought about Bolin in a long time. He had been so eager to help the victims of the Earth Queen's assassination, always a hard worker with a smile on his face. He had been so genuine; it had reminded her of herself when she was younger. It had hurt when he left the cause, and if she hadn't been so callous and closed off, it would've thrown her off, at least for a second. She truly had loved seeing Opal with a guy like Bolin, and early on, it got her thinking about what it would've been like being a part of the Beifong family without the rift she and Baatar caused.

It was incredible to think what her life could've been if Su had just—if Zaheer had never killed the Earth Queen. Would she still be in Zaofu, guard and dancer, together with Baatar? Would she have finally become an official member of the Beifong family?

Or would it have been like the rest of her life: high hopes, and huge disappointments? Knowing what she did now, did she even really want Su Beifong as a mother-in-law? Or was she just that desperate for love?

She looked back up at Korra. "Is Zaheer still in prison?"

"Yes. Combination escaping prison, assassinating the Earth Queen, throwing the Earth Kingdom into chaos, and maiming me gets one a life sentence."

Lin told her that her sentence was thirty years. Assuming he'd live into his eighties or nineties, Kuvira would manage twenty more years of freedom than the monster who had killed the Earth Queen and plunged her nation into chaos.

"Were you ever really paying attention when I first came to Zaofu?" Korra asked as they switched exercise again.

She thought back to that week; there had been enough out of the ordinary markers to remember it. They were a few days from a dance recital, so she had been hyper focused on that. It was another routine that Huan wanted to learn, so she had been teaching him some of the moves before Korra arrived.

"I remember being excited to meet you and Lin, but it was also common courtesy for the guard to not bother you guys." Kuvira paused. "I remember seeing you watch the rehearsal."

Korra's eyes widened. "You were in that?"

"Yeah."

"Are you a professional dancer?"

"Of sorts."

Korra smiled. "No wonder you fought with such grace. Dance influence?"

Was it odd that Korra kept giving her so many compliments? "I suppose. My metal bending style is more based upon keeping distance and precision. If there's some grace in there, it's unconscious."

"Do you still dance?"

"I haven't in a while. This conditioning will help me, though."

By the time Korra had to leave, Kuvira had a pleasant soreness in her muscles, and was looking forward to having an early night reading in bed. Still coming off the first seventy-two hours in which the lights were always on, Kuvira learned to rely on the guards for time. They'd started giving her a newspaper with breakfast, and dimmed the lights as the graveyard shirt guards came in.

As Korra left, dinner came through the slit. She read while she ate, and took a hot (relatively speaking) shower afterwards. She still couldn't keep herself from glancing at the mirror in her bathroom knowing there was someone stationed there to keep an eye on her, but it wasn't as bad as the early days when she couldn't take a shower without covering her breasts and pubic area. She imagined there would come a day when she'd be able to look right at that mirror and wink, but today, this week, this month, this decade was not that time.

She dried off, slipped on her clean set of clothes, and jumped into bed, returning to the book she'd been working on. Her mind wandered off not long after.

She thought about that day she killed the bandit. For someone who prided herself on how in control she eventually became, she could remember nothing more than feeling out of control during the catalyzing event. It seemed so random, really, that she had killed _that_ particular bandit. Was it possible that Kuvira had just snapped, and everything else happened as it did?

_You're weak._ She had been called too young, too kind, too trusting so much in those first few months. Fact was, she had been naive, even if she did still have the vision. But that bandit, he had awakened something else in her.

_You're weak_. It wasn't like she didn't know. In the hours lying awake crying tears of shock and regret at what she had done, she knew why she had snapped.

It was the first insult her father had told her as a child. She was a weak earth bender, that she'd never live up to Suyin Beifong's vision for a metal city. Kuvira hadn't been a prodigy, and hadn't always wanted to face obstacles as head on as she could as an adult. Even as an adult, though, she preferred distance to close combat. Her father had considered that a sign of weakness. No tough love, just exasperation. Her mother had offered to help her, but even she got frustrated with Kuvira and her bending. _You're weak. You're useless. You're a shame to this family. I don't care how old you are; there are kids younger than you who have mastered this. You're hardly worth the space you occupy._

_Go buy your dad a new pair of shoes. You can at least do that, can't you?_

She'd done just that, bought the best pair of shoes she could find with the money they'd given her. But, when she returned to the house, they were gone, and she was locked out. She waited out there an entire evening and night, but they didn't show up. By the time twenty-four hours had passed, Kuvira headed towards the police station, cold, hungry, and terrified. She ended up bumping into one of Su's guards, who took Kuvira in to Su's compound.

Su had been kind to her, offering her blankets, food, and comforting words as she called around. Baatar had been hanging around his mother at the time, and had sat next to Kuvira, saying nothing, just sipping his own cup of tea. Unknown to Kuvira at the time, Su had found out that night that Kuvira's parents had skipped town, but had only directly offered Kuvira a place to stay until they found her parents.

_You're weak._ It plagued her nightmares for months, even after Su immersed her into the Beifong household and started giving her proper, encouraging earthbending lessons. Kuvira had soared to prodigy level, a master years before any of the other Beifong children. Even Toph had praised her metal bending skills. (Nothing had hurt more than hearing Toph say she gave metal benders a bad name.) But, her parents' doubt in her had never left. Su's fake out with loving Kuvira only solidified that pain.

So, yes, that had been boiling in her mind that day with the bandit. Perhaps what had been so surprising about it, though, was how violent it had made her. She had never been violent before. It had almost reminded her of her parents.

But, as she recalled, the split second that thought had occurred to her had been vanquished by another, stronger thought.

Baatar had said it. _That was some incredible metal bending out there. A terrifying new set of abilities. I didn't know you had it in you._

It had made her realize that her parents had been dead wrong about her. She wasn't weak; she was stronger than them, earthbenders who could hardly bend a piece of metal. She could crush them the same way she'd killed that bandit, with one arm in a sling and lying on the floor. She could still remember turning around to face Baatar, and him embracing her, wiping her tears away.

_Every great leader struggles in the beginning. No callous can be formed without a little pain. Soon, it'll be those bandits who are hurting._

She fell asleep playing returning those bloody metal sheets to her uniform over and over again.

 


	7. Embrace

_They fell onto the bed attached by hand, arm, and leg, half a swiped bottle of sake in them. The rush of sake mixed with the drop made Kuvira feel light as a feather, and Baatar was looking cuter and more desirable than she thought whenever she stole a glance at him during work hours. They had just secured Omashu, formally uniting just over half the Earth Kingdom. Everyone else was elsewhere in the train, and Kuvira assumed no one would've noticed her and Baatar sneak out._

_They kissed, cheeks red and alcohol on their breath._

_"I love you, Kuvira," Baatar said as their lips pulled apart._

_She wrestled herself on top of him. "I love you too."_

_She kissed him and rolled off, back so they were both on their side face to face. "You were subhuman out there in Omashu today. Taking out that entire band of bandits yourself. I almost wish I could've seen it, just so I'd know what I'm imagining now is accurate."_

_Kuvira grinned. "And what would that mean?"_

_She'd left all the metal on her uniform on floor of their room, and brought a band up to them, securing Baatar's right hand to the headboard. He chuckled. "Not exactly what I was thinking…" He knocked his wrist against the binding. "Actually, I was going to say that my version of what happened involved a bit less metal. A few less straight lines and more curves."_

_She pulled the band off and sent it back with the rest of her uniform. "I'm going to need more explanation for this design of yours."_

_They smiled as he pulled off the outer layer of her uniform, leaving her in her pants and a tank top, ruffled to reveal a fair amount of her bra and cleavage. She helped him pull off the outer layer of his own uniform, leaving him in a similar getup. Lips met again, and she relished how much warmer he became as she wrapped her arms around him. He was getting stronger by the day as well; even if he was just the brains, he still didn't want to be physically inferior to everyone else working the campaign, or as everyone would say, be able to lose a fight with Varrick._

_Mouths opened, he teased tongue, but never fully plunged in, interchanged with Baatar placing kisses up and down her neck, onto the tops of her breasts, her collarbone, wherever he saw fit. If he passed over a bruise, he'd kiss it tenderly before moving on. When she felt she was getting too passive, she flipped them over, straddled him tight and kissed every spot she knew he loved._

_"Okay, okay, that's enough credit to me," Baatar said as he flipped her back under him, holding her wrists down onto the mattress. He held her with more strength than usual, as if making the point that he really wanted her to stay. Brain soaked in sake, it was more hot than irksome. "I believe the Great Uniter deserves unparalleled reward tonight for her service to our kingdom."_

_She laughed. "You're still terrible at dirty talk."_

_He leaned over and kissed her. "Good thing I won't be talking for a while then."_

_He held onto her wrists for as long as he could while still moving deeper into the sheets, but when he couldn't hold her arms down, he had her pinned for entirely different reasons._

Kuvira awoke still simmering in the same heat and pleasure she'd experienced in that memory, but sleepiness was a poor substitute for alcohol, and her mind was as sharp as ever in this prison.

Yes, she was still in prison, that night with Baatar was nothing more than a memory, and the sensations she'd just given herself with a phantom hand were nothing compared to that memory. For starters, there was no love now. The best she could manage was embarrassment as she flipped onto her other side, facing away from that damn mirror and wiped her hand onto the side of her mattress.

The worst part was that this wasn't even the first time this had happened. While guilt and dread filled the cusps between being awake and asleep, the space between dreaming and being awake was plagued by desire and sexual frustration. She almost dreaded the day that the guilt passed and the frustration would be all that was left for her in this prison.

The lights were never dimmed enough to where she couldn't read, so she picked up the history book she'd been working through. If anyone could cool her down, it'd be plunging back into the story of Chin the Conqueror. Korra had joked around with her during their last meeting, challenging her to find a worse dictator than her taking in all her smaller faults, like a supposed "superego" and "how she nearly shot a nine-year-old for making faces in the Colossus's windows" (as if the airbender brat wasn't a logical, legitimate hindrance).

She managed to get through five pages before tossing the book aside, pulling the blanket up over her head, and attempting to fall back asleep again.

* * *

 

"So, was the Chin the Conqueror worse than you?" Korra asked at their next meeting.

Kuvira focused on the book between them. "There were a fair amount of similarities."

"Like what?"

"When did you become my teacher?"

"You're the one who asked me how move on from your war crimes. The first step is acceptance. You told me in the Spirit World that you never wanted it to get so out of hand, but I don't know if you realize just _how_ out of hand everything got. Maybe seeing your fall mirrored in someone else will help."

Kuvira paused, running her thumb over the pages. "He rose from an Earth Kingdom dissatisfied with the monarchy. He amassed an army, conquered nearly all of the Earth Kingdom, tried to have the Avatar submit to his rule, and died as a result."

Korra pulled the book out of Kuvira's sphere of touch. "But, when he faced Avatar Kyoshi, he saved the lives of his soldiers and fought her one-on-one. Just like you did."

"I knew you were weak, and I'm only lucky you were still having problems or I would've been a stain in the earth."

"Yes, you both miscalculated, were a bit too pompous, but there's one huge difference—"

"Yeah, he was fighting one of the most ruthless Avatars in history and I got you."

"No, you stood down. You surrendered. Chin the Conqueror died thinking what he was doing was right. You didn't. So yes, you two shared a lot—your drive, the opportunity, the needs of the people, and most of all, your integrity."

"What's shreds of integrity for a dictator?"

Korra smiled. "Slow down, Great Uniter. I'm still trying to get you to see the flakes of good in the bad. Talking about whether it really made a difference and fully accepting what you did is for another time." Korra flipped to a different page in the book. "You are so lucky I wasn't connected to Avatar Kyoshi when I fought you. I mean, look what she did to Chin the Conqueror, and he didn't even make a spirit weapon or form work camps. The wisdom she would've passed on, or worse: Katara told me about how previous Avatars could take possession of the current Avatar, and how Kyoshi did it. From what I understand about her, she all but bathed in her enemies' blood. Can you imagine that? Waking up and I'm covered in your blood?"

Kuvira had no idea if Korra was just trying to get a reaction out of her or if this was some perverted self-reflection tactic. All she knew was that Korra's talk about bathing in Kuvira's blood was making her queasy, the way she felt when she thought too long about how damn close she had been to being crushed under a boulder during the Battle of Zaofu.

" _Thank you_ , Korra," Kuvira said.

Korra broke out a mischievous smile. "Also, didn't you crush her metal of honor? Oh, you really ought to thank Unalaq for destroying that connection. You would be a literal bloody pulp if not…"

"What are you trying to accomplish with this tangent?"

"That you have a dangerous cocky side that I hope you address before getting out of prison."

"I know and understand the power you possess. We went over this in the Spirit World."

"But have you fully processed it since? Don't tell me you haven't lied awake thinking if you had done something different that you would've won."

She looked Korra right in the eye. "I haven't. The last time I thought about what I could've done differently was when I stumbled across the weapon in the Spirit Wilds. I've accepted your power since."

Korra flipped through the book without even looking at it. "And I hate to say it, but even as one of the best metalbenders in the world, there will be people besides me that you can't underestimate. Humility goes hand-in-hand with acceptance of past mistakes and failures."

"No need to be going so quick. I have thirty years before I'm thrown back into society."

"I just want you to be as peaceful as you can in here. We can do whatever you want in here."

Korra paused, and for the first time, it occurred to Kuvira that she had never explicitly said that her suicide attempt hadn't been real. She looked down at her wrists, the bandages off, still red, but growing pinker by the day.

"Don't call me the Great Uniter," Kuvira finally said. "Ever."

"Deal."

Korra flipped through a few more pages and sent a blast of air through it, as if it'd lead her right to a new and interesting section. In the process, Korra blew Kuvira's unopened letter from Baatar right out from where she'd stuffed it in the text. Kuvira jumped back out of her seat, caught the letter, and landed back in her chair, stabilizing it with one swift foot movement.

"You keep letters in books?" Korra asked.

She set the letter on the table, her hand covering it. "I haven't felt the need to read it."

Korra glanced down. "It's from Baatar."

"What's the point of reading it if it'll only solidify that I have no loved ones or a future outside this room?"

"You don't know that's what he'll say. The fact that he wrote a letter means he's already a step ahead of Su. I know he loved you."

"Key word _loved_. What idiot would love someone after they attempted to murder them?"

Korra raised a brow. "The same idiot who thought I could physically separate you two for the rest of my life?"

Kuvira slid the letter over to Korra, slamming into her. "Just take it. Baatar is best dead to me."

Korra moved the letter back in the middle of the table, looking into Kuvira's eyes. "You loved him, and you're preparing for the worst, but is it really going to be worth it to live life wondering what he wrote? He's your fiancé, and he may need your comfort as much as you crave his."

Kuvira snorted. "Like he needs _my_ comfort when he has his mommy and daddy and siblings. Confirm my suspicions; tell me he's not in prison right now, that he's back in Su's house with emotionally ambiguous looks from his siblings and gourmet food from Su's chef."

"I don't know where he is. If he is in prison, it's nowhere they've told me."

The prison door opened, Lin at the opening. "Come on, Korra. You've been in there long enough."

Korra nodded towards Lin, pushed the letter towards Kuvira, and walked out saying, "Consider it."

Once the door shut, Kuvira pulled the letter towards her.

_Kuvira,_

_I don't know when the guards will be letting you read this, but I want you to know that I've wanted to talk to you for a while. Mother's Mother, and got me out of any prison sentence. President Raiko, Lin, and everyone besides Mother tried to get her off of it, but they agreed upon a different sentence where I'd be commissioned to help repair Republic City as a means of community service while on house arrest in Zaofu. Knowing you're rotting in a cell somewhere, where they won't even let me visit you to talk to you in person, I can hardly sleep I'm so mad and ashamed. If I could have anything right now, I'd be in a jail cell next to you, serving the same punishment for the crimes we committed together._

_I don't know what you've come to realize regarding our campaign, particularly our "wedding present," but it's been a hard couple months. I'm still not sure I'm ready to write about what happened between us in Republic City, but I will say this much:_

_Having you choose the Earth Empire over me broke my heart, and none of the physical recovery even held a candle to the pain that choice brought me. I'm still aching, hardly able to sleep, and as much as I want to deny it, that pain doesn't come from a place of anger, but love._

_Kuvira, I still love you. I still think about you every day, and every time I see a guard or a dance performance, I think about the wedding that will never happen._

_I'm sorry, Kuv. It's taken a long time, and a lot of putting my feelings aside, but I know nothing will change that will allow our relationship to happen. Mother has given me an opportunity to rebuild my life, and we can do nothing short of uprooting our lives and living in the swamp in exile for us to ever be together. If I know one thing about you, it's that you value logic over emotion. Surely, you can understand my logic, and I wouldn't even be surprised if you've come to the same conclusion. At the very least, so long as Mother keeps me trapped in Zaofu (I believe this glorified house arrest is supposed to last as long as your own sentence, and a mother's prison lasts a lifetime), we cannot be together._

_I have your engagement ring with me, and I can ask to have it cleared so it can be returned to you. I know it won't have the sentimental value of what it once meant, but it's still valuable, and your property. Just write back and tell me what you think._

_If you don't mind, I'd like to maintain correspondence with you. Even if we cannot be fiancees, or even romantically involved, I still consider you my closest friend and someone I care very deeply for. I hope prison is treating you well; I know you'll rise above, like you have with everything._

_Don't forget to keep dancing._

_Best,_

_Baatar_

She read the letter once, crumpled it up, and threw it across the room. No need to read it more than once. Baatar had been as clear as ever, and even his subtext was obvious: Su had babied him, gotten him a community service sentence while she rotted in prison; Baatar was struggling, but his siblings were beginning to forgive him, otherwise he would've never relinquished his love connection with her; Baatar was still hurt by what had happened, and with reason; and that pain and the situation on paper was getting to him, and what idiot would forgive his psychotic ex-fiancee who had sacrificed his life?

She could imagine Baatar had heard it a million times, that he deserved better, that Kuvira was a monster, that they could find her a better girl in five minutes, one like Kuvira back before the Great Uniter fiasco.

She didn't cry, and promised herself she wouldn't. Instead, she pulled out one of those felt tip pens and a piece of paper and wrote:

_Dearest Baatar,_

_You can keep my engagement ring, and I'd prefer if you we don't have a correspondence until I can fully digest what you wrote. I'm glad to hear you're doing okay. I'm okay, and I'll tell you when I'm ready._

_Will do._

_Best,_

_Kuvira_

A lump grew in her throat as she crumpled up that letter, pulled out another piece of paper, and wrote:

_Baatar,_

_If Mother has gotten you such a lenient sentence, the least you could do is come here and end our engagement in person._

_Kuvira_

She crumpled up that one and started again.

_Baatar,_

_I love you too. I think about you every day. I would do anything to keep our love alive. The distance and time doesn't have to destroy us. Zaofu is as much a prison as where I am. I'm willing to wait thirty years if you are._

_Love,_

_Kuvira_

Tears burned in her eyes as she ripped that one to shreds. Her vision blurred through the tears, and she slammed her pen down, cleared the table of all her paper and crumpled up letters. She jumped out of her seat, put her hands on the top of the chair as if to throw it, but did no more than squeeze the wood until her knuckles popped.

_Logic? You're really breaking up with me because of_ logic _?_

There was no logic in prison. There was no logic in regret, in redemption. This room was nothing but a cesspool of emotion and the sloppy actions that came from those drinking and drowning in those foolhardy decisions. The cuts on her scalp and wrists said it all. She dropped to the floor, knees to the wood, crumpled into the same sloppy ball as her letters around her. Her face shielded by arms, she let it all go and cried. She cried the way she'd cried after killing that bandit, the way she cried when she first arrived in that wood cage. She cried herself hoarse, until her eyes were red and dry and her shirtsleeves were soaked.

She only cried harder when she felt warmth engulf her, felt arms wrap around her. She looked up at Korra through the burning eyes. They made eye contact for an instant, and Kuvira didn't pull away and Korra didn't smile. She just secured Kuvira in the embrace, so close that she could feel Korra's chest rise and fall.

Unlike in the Spirit World, Kuvira didn't pull away.

* * *

 

_It was after a dance practice. A hard practice that left Kuvira catching her breath and sweaty, but there was Baatar, sitting meekly in the corner, a towel in his hands. He smiled as she approached and tossed her the towel._

_"You look upset. Everything okay?" Kuvira asked as she dried off best she could._

_Baatar sighed. "I've been working on this design for the domes, but Father put me down before I could even show him the initial drawings."_

_She put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go outside, and you can show me what you've got."_

_They walked out to Su's meteorite collection. Kuvira stopped in front of the biggest rock in the set._

_"What've you got, Beifong?"_

_Baatar unraveled his design and showed it to Kuvira. "What didn't your dad like?"_

_As Baatar explained all the nitpicks his dad had with the design, Kuvira bent the meteorite to resemble the design in 3D. In a typical Baatar fashion, he didn't realize what Kuvira had done until after he'd stopped talking and she elbowed him._

_"This about it?" Kuvira asked._

_Baatar smiled. "Exactly what I was thinking."_

_Kuvira smiled back. "Take it from the captain of Su's guard: these would be monumentally helpful for security purposes. They cover more vulnerabilities than what we have now."_

_Baatar's eyes sparkled. "You mean it?"_

_"You are overflowing with potential and your father is a fool not to see it."_

_He looked into her eyes, a shy smile playing on his lips. "I forgot to tell you that you looked great out there today."_

_She blushed a little. "Thanks."_

_Their hands brushed, and they walked back inside together._

 


	8. Medicine

If anything at all, Kuvira felt dry after Korra left. Like there was no way her body could produce more tears. Or, as if Korra's moment of comfort was just the medicine she needed.

Medicine: something that would temporary numb the symptoms, just long enough for Kuvira to forget the pain even existed before barraging her again.

She wouldn't let that happen. She'd come too far, and in the moments after Korra left, when she looked at the scars on her wrists, she could imagine what kind of beautiful mess she could make if she actually cut herself the right way, or how they'd look paired with ligature marks if she found a way to hang herself. She refused to sink back into that darkness she entered the prison with, that she felt when Su refused to give Kuvira a real talk. Baatar would not be the end of her. Korra had taken a major risk in comforting her, probably defying Lin's orders not to return to Kuvira's cell, so now Kuvira had to be there, alive and ticking for Korra during her next visit.

She took a deep breath, re-braided her hair, securing it into the back of her shirt without any hair ties, removed her shoes, and started to dance. Nothing too advanced at first, just getting light on her feet again. She added in the full positions, and soon she was moving across the room, all her old moves returning. It slowed down her brain for the first time in what must've been months. She had stopped dancing a little while before the annexation of Yi, when the re-education camps started popping up. Dance required discipline, sure, but it felt too frivolous, even if her free time.

She could still remember the last recital she'd been a part of. Korra had watched the rehearsal, and Kuvira had to miss a few subsequent rehearsals because her job as captain of the guard had gotten in the way. But, the recital had gone off without a hitch, and allowed Kuvira to forget the horrors she'd directly and indirectly experienced during the insurrection of the Red Lotus. In those few hours, Queen Hou-Ting, as horrible as she was, hadn't had the air sucked out of her lungs by a murderous anarchist, the Earth Kingdom wasn't being eaten alive by criminals and chaos, and she wasn't forced to hunker down in Zaofu's stronghold. The night was about art, and Baatar—

No, this had nothing to do with Baatar. She took a deep breath and banished the thought away. She didn't dance for Baatar; she danced for herself.

If only she had some music. Then, she could fully escape.

As she danced, the cell's door opened, and a guard appeared.

"Against the wall," he said. "I'm taking out the trash."

Kuvira had begun to learn that the guards would come inside her cell and clean up while she slept, but their difference in timing wasn't that unusual. Besides, the floor was littered in tearstained paper now, and nowhere to properly store them.

Kuvira stopped dancing and moved against the nearest wall, facing away from the guard. "Is Chief Beifong in?"

"Yes."

"Could you ask her if I could speak to her?"

"Sure."

The guard picked up the crumpled letters, stuffed them into a bag, and walked out. For effect, Kuvira looked right at the mirror. To her surprise, Lin actually opened the cell door and closed it behind her.

"You have two options: tell me you're feeling suicidal again or that your letter revealed Baatar Jr.'s plans to escape my sister's daycare and you were compelled to talk to me," Lin said.

"I was wondering what I'd have to do to get a radio in here."

"There's no way to get you one without metal, so the answer is there's no way."

Kuvira knew that Lin had witnessed her mental breakdown, so there was some truth to that sarcastic suicide comment. "Music would be therapeutic at this point. Aren't other prisoners granted the same luxuries? I was paying attention during this tour. I have every amenity of the prisoners in the general population except access to the radio."

"General population isn't made up of metal bending war criminals. I can't get you one."

"Didn't Varrick manufacture plastic radios some years back?"

"It has metallic parts within, and it would need batteries or to be plugged in, neither of which would be available to you."

Kuvira sighed. "What about something else? A music box, or a metronome."

Lin shook her head. "Why am I even listening to this? You're a war criminal, and you should be grateful that we didn't keep you in the wooden cage or made your sentence life."

Kuvira crossed her arms and raised a brow. "So Baatar gets free reign to roam Suyin's house with all its luxuries, but I can't even get a music box?" She paused. "I know you were unhappy when Baatar got off easy."

Lin huffed. "I'll ask the prison if they've got something in storage."

Calling Lin's bluff had worked; she actually did care about Kuvira's mental state. She didn't plan to manipulate it, but she was excited at the thought of having some form of music.

* * *

 

"Good news! I finally found the Pai Sho board," Korra said as she entered the cell the next week.

Kuvira dug her nose out of the new book she'd been working on and joined Korra at the table.

"Where was it?" Kuvira asked.

Korra rubbed the back of her neck. "It's technically Asami's set, but she's letting me leave it here."

Kuvira quirked a brow. "So, she knows about us?"

"Yeah. I decided to just tell her, and she's mad, but it's…not necessarily at me. I think it's just hard for her to face the idea that the person who killed her father might to not be all evil. Just accepting her dad back into her life wasn't cut and dry, and I think him dying so soon after she decided to forgive him really messed things up for her." Korra glanced up at Kuvira, and started setting up the pieces. "But, on the bright side, it didn't cause a major rift in our relationship and I can still visit you." Korra paused. "How are you?"

Kuvira helped Korra set up the Pai Sho pieces. "Okay. I've been keeping myself distracted. You…being there helped."

"So…I think I've been working off a lot of assumptions. Who wrote the letter?"

"Baatar."

"And…it wasn't good news?"

"He said that it wasn't pragmatic for us to be in a relationship regardless of whether or not he still has unresolved feelings for me. Nothing I can argue with there. What rules are we playing with?"

"Ancient rules. Hundred Year War style. Are you familiar with it? It's how my friends in the Spirit World play, and I standardized the rules while you were in here."

It was strange to think Korra did mountains of more important work outside of these visits.

"I know the rules, but thank you."

They started to play. For all that Korra talked about standardizing the game based on slow, methodical strategy, she made her moves quickly. She couldn't tell if Korra also trying to talk to Kuvira was some method to throw her off her game.

"I always knew Baatar was head over heels for you, but I'll admit, I never got the same vibe from you," Korra said. "I'm not saying you didn't love him just as much, but it really was something private for you, wasn't it?"

Kuvira sighed and made her next move. "Yes. As you've probably figured out, I'm not a very emotional person."

"Well, just know that whatever you're feeling, it's okay to express it, and talk about it if you need to. When Mako and I broke up, I immediately got caught up in Harmonic Convergence and well…there wasn't much time to think about it. But, given more time, losing someone I love is terrible. And, well, you've lost a lot of people recently."

Korra got a harmony off Kuvira's last move. Kuvira was already ahead by a good margin, but this mess up wasn't a good sign. "Like I said, Baatar would've been better off dead for me."

"Come on, it has to give you a little relief to know that he's alive. I'd be pretty happy to know that someone I loved is still alive, even if we have to live separately."

"Maybe that'd be possible if it weren't for the fact that Baatar was the only chance I had that anyone in my life outside of the naively optimistic Avatar would ever care for me the way I care for them for the rest of this lifetime."

Korra paused, her eyes moving away from the Pai Sho board. "So, really, it wasn't about Baatar."

"Both."

Korra made her move. "Was there any signs in the letter that he wanted to keep in touch even if he wasn't going to be your fiancé?"

"Of course he wanted to remain pen-pals, but what use is that connection now? He said it himself: I'm not welcome back in Zaofu and he can't leave Zaofu. What would be the point of writing letters, only to have his family and a new woman rip him from me slowly over the next thirty years? Ceasing contact now is saving myself a load of pain."

"I…don't necessarily think stopping writing to him is a bad idea, but I'm worried that it's an unconscious trigger for you to start regressing. You need people around you who care about you, and well, if Baatar does, maybe it would be good for your healing if you keep in contact. You could grow to not need him."

"I already don't need him. All throughout our relationship, he was the one who needed me." Kuvira exhaled and moved her next piece. "I know I looked bad last week, and I was devastated, but it's more symbolic than anything. I suppose I just…fear what the world will look like when I come out."

"You do have thirty years. Considering how much changed in three years, I wouldn't worry about how things will be in thirty. If anything, the Beifongs have ample time to forgive you."

"And what if they don't? What if I don't want to return to Zaofu when this sentence is over? I lived so much of my life knowing exactly what lied ahead, and staring into the void…" She shook her head. "Baatar was my last tether to my future."

Korra made another sloppy move, but this one seemed especially hasty. "While I was learning to walk again after the Red Lotus insurrection, one of the best things Katara told me was that when we recover from something, we gain strength and insight we would've never found otherwise, and that we don't know what any of our experiences will end up giving us. Back then, it sounded like a whole lot of old lady healer hollow words of encouragement, but then, I sat back and I realized that if it weren't for going through that, I would've never been the compassionate Avatar I am today. I would've never been able to talk you down, opened up that portal, or had the confidence to sit here every week and try to make a difference in your life. And, it handed me something unexpected: Asami. I realized that I loved her while we were away, and she's made me happier than any other partners I've had did."

"Sounds like the happy ending in a children's book. Maybe your life turned around, but your only enemy was yourself; everyone around me hates me."

Korra shook her head. "If anything, everyone around you is waiting to see what kind of person you emerge from this experience as. There are so many people who don't have the grudge-holding ability of Su: Bolin, maybe Baatar, your supporters, everyone who came on that first airship out of Zaofu. You can't automatically assume that they'll hate you when you get out of here. In all honesty, I doubt people will even remember you outside of Republic City, and even they'll forget about the damage you caused when some other wackjob comes around and destroys the city again."

Kuvira raised a brow and smiled a bit. "You think someone else will come along and destroy Republic City again?"

"Well, as the esteemed former chief Toph Beifong once told me that names change, but the people stay the same. Even Aang had more enemies to face after facing Fire Lord Ozai, and that guy was a huge deal. I have no doubt that my job isn't over."

"After what I did you really think people will forget about me?"

Korra smirked. "Don't rub your own ego. Even Princess Azula could roam the streets after she was deemed reasonably sane without people recognizing or fearing her. You'd be able to blend in easily." Korra made her move. "Think about it: Amon's name hasn't been mentioned in years since the Equalist movement, even if bender-non-bender tensions aren't one hundred percent finished, and we don't even know what happened to him. No one talks about Zaheer killing the Earth Queen—"

"Zaheer didn't announce that he killed the Earth Queen."

"Well, then I'll go back to the Amon comment. You know, Amon wasn't his real name. It was Noatak, and for all I know, Noatak escaped and is now living a normal life somewhere in the world. You're the Great Uniter, not Kuvira. I promise, when the time comes, you'll be able to start over. There's nothing to fear." Korra looked up from the board, making eye contact with Kuvira. "If anything, I'll be there for you when you get out of prison. I promise."

Kuvira felt a lump rise in her throat. "You can't guarantee that. You have Asami, and within thirty years you'll have another life: a wife, children, a career. I'd be a hindrance at best, a leech at worst in your life. I could never do that to someone whose shown me such compassion."

Korra sighed. "Sometimes, I think it's my fault that you lost the Beifongs, like if I hadn't let the Earth Queen die, you could've still been Su's protege and be a guard and in that dance troupe and with Baatar Jr. and all his siblings. Even if I don't know how Su treated you, if it was genuine love, at least it was something."

Korra…blamed herself for what happened? Kuvira had left Zaofu, started the campaign, let it get so out of hand…

"No, it wasn't your fault that I became what I was. I made all those decisions, and neither of us knows if I wouldn't have made those decisions some time later." Kuvira paused. "When everyone met up to go to the cave to rescue you, I told Su that I wanted to help save you and the airbenders. She told me to stay with the injured. I was never in family portraits, she never introduced me when she introduced her kids to you—I've always been a second-class member of her household, and the fall of the Earth Queen didn't cause that. Of course my main motivation was to help the Earth Kingdom, but part of the reason I left was to escape Su and find my own path. Don't think of this as some compensation for something you had no stake in." Kuvira looked down at the Pai Sho board. "I won, by the way."

Korra's eyes bugged out as she inspected the game board. "Spirits, you're good at this."

"I'm a military tactician. Want to try again, Avatar?"

Korra set up for another game. "Can I ask you something that's been bothering me for a while?"

"Go ahead."

"When we spoke in the Spirit World, I really was going off on a limb when I said you were afraid and all that abandonment stuff. You seemed so icy and composed before that. Did…something happen when we weren't interacting that sort of put you down that road towards opening up to me? I know facing death can certainly make people more vulnerable, but it felt like it was in the making."

Kuvira exhaled. "The only other time I thought about it since I was a child was in the swamp…"

"You had an experience in there?"

Kuvira nodded. "Not even Baatar knew about it…"

_One day in harvesting the spirit vines, and as much as Baatar insisted that he could handle the grunt work, making sure everything stayed stable, Kuvira stayed with him. She liked the lack of commotion of the swamp, liked seeing the progress, and there was something…alluring about the place. She couldn't place it, especially not as a city girl through and through._

_"I'm going to go check the place out. See if there's anything else useful in here," Kuvira said to Baatar, still in bed, as she dressed for the day._

_"Just be careful, Kuv. Since we're already cutting down the vines around here, don't cut down any more that you encounter. The swamp might prefer to go after an individual instead of all our mechs."_

_"Alright, no metal knives. I'll be fine." She squeezed his hand. "If I'm honest, I'd be more worried about you right here, in this tent, than I'd be for me if I stumbled onto the other side of the swamp."_

_She set out, retracting any visible weapons and handling the vines with her hands. She'd left her gloves in the tent, partially to keep them from getting dirty and partially because something felt right about feeling this swamp with her bare skin._

_She'd read so many stories about this swamp, ranging from factual accounts of the water benders who lived and thrived in the land and legends of the spirits who inhabited the swamp, angry, terrifying creatures who existed long before the spirit fiasco a few years back. Everyone called this place eerie, creepy, like the entire swamp was alive. Which, scientifically speaking, it was. But, watching those vines try to destroy the mechs had really cemented it for Kuvira: they needed to get in and out of this swamp before it swallowed them whole._

_Everything was on schedule, though, so she wasn't worried._

_The vines began to thicken, the ground growing more uneven each step she took. There was no room for getting lost in her thoughts with each step risking breaking an ankle or dropping into the oblivion of the swamp. What had once been a bright morning had gone dark under the swamp's shade. She could only hear the buzzing of insects, but she felt like she was hearing something else entirely. Something otherworldly, but in more than just the way occasionally seeing a spirit on the Earth Empire campaign. Whatever controlled the swamp was stronger than that._

_She pressed forward, vines thickening and thickening. When she reached a patch she couldn't weave through, couldn't fight through, she gritted her teeth, pulled out her metal knife, and cut down the green in front of her. She winced for just a second, but when the vines fell to the ground and didn't come attack her, she moved forward._

_Only to take one step onto air._

_It was still dark, the ground was still slick, and Kuvira went sliding down a hill with an unknown gradient and height. She managed to stay on her feet by nothing more than the balance she learned as a dancer and her own willpower, but a sudden stop by a rock tripping up her feet landed her face first onto the floor of mud and rocks. She earthbent as much of the mud off as she could, but the rocks had cut up her hands, face, and neck. The cuts weren't big though, nor bleeding much, so she got back to her feet and kept going._

_She didn't know where she was going anymore, but there was some light in the distance—hopefully a break in the vegetation._

_She pushed through the mud, forced to take big steps to keep the mud from ruining her uniform any more than it already had, but the light didn't seem to be getting any closer. But, something inside her kept her moving forward._

_She broke through into a clearing, losing her footing again and landing in more mud and leaves._

_Right in front of her, as young as they'd been the day they asked her to buy a pair of shoes, were her parents._

_"Why didn't you come back?" she found herself demanding._

_Her parents glared at her. "It's only mud, Kuvira, and you're bleeding?" her dad said._

_"You're just as weak as when we left," her mom said._

_"No! I'm not weak! I'm—I'm—look at me! I've united the Earth Kingdom. I'm an earth bending and metal bending master. I'm—" Rage suddenly overshadowed the pain. "I'm so much more than you two ever were!"_

_"Pathetic," they hissed._

_"Useless. Weak. Pathetic. We made the right decision when we left you to die."_

_"I could destroy you both now! You have no idea what—Su was so much—I don't need—I don't—"_

_"You couldn't even keep pebbles from cutting you to ribbons. You're the worst earth bender is history."_

_"The worst daughter…"_

_Kuvira threw two metal bands onto her parents' eyes and ran at them with the knife._

_But, all she hit was a set of twin rocks. The knife bent upon impact and Kuvira startled backwards, nearly but not losing her footing._

_She focused on the rocks, the reality of what had just happened. The rumors that the swamp caused hallucinations was true. She looked down at her knife and fixed it. She'd still have to fix the cuts when she got…when she got back…_

_She looked back at those rocks, mind filled with the poison her parents had injected into her body for eight years, and finally collapsed under its weight. It burned as it sloshed through her veins, tears like chemicals in her eyes. She covered her eyes, tears cleaning the caked dirt and blood off her hands in streaks, but nothing made the pain go away. It clutched her from the inside, strangling every organ in her. Her heart seemed to be racing, she felt nauseous, her sight was going blurry, mind drifting away._

_"I hope you're looking at what I'm doing and regret every moment you didn't spend in my life!" she screamed out. "I'm doing this because of you! I'm going to take care of my people better than you could've ever wished to do for me!"_

_She wiped and bent off as much of the blood, tears, and mud off her exposed skin as she could, but the stains on her clothing were not so easily removed. She regained her bearings and returned to Baatar. (By chance was a fair assumption.)_

_Baatar and her soldiers widened eyes at her appearance._

_"Kuvira, are you okay?" Baatar asked. "You're bleeding and, well, filthy."_

_She knocked some of the mud on her uniform onto his. "I'm fine. Just missed a step."_

_Everyone watched her as she walked back to her tent, but only Baatar watched until the moment she closed the tent door behind her._

_She sat down at her desk and pulled out some first aid supplies and a mirror. She applied the antiseptic, looking at the cuts, but something caught the corner of her eye—a little girl with grime where Kuvira's blood oozed on her face. She blinked a few times, but it was gone. She shook her head, took a deep breath, and returned to applying antiseptic._

_At least they'd be out of the swamp soon._

 


	9. A New Face

A week after the Pai Sho game, it was Lin who walked into Kuvira's cell, not Korra. She held a wooden radio and her classic scowl.

"Try to bend this, right now. I couldn't, but for all I know, you've picked up more than me," Lin said.

There were some metal pieces inside the little machine, but Kuvira couldn't bend them. Must be made of purified metals. "I can't."

Lin raised a brow. "And you tried?"

"Yes."

Lin set it down on the table. "Well, congratulations, you can now write home to my nephew that you have a radio."

It still stung thinking about Baatar. "Is Avatar Korra coming in this week?"

"fraid not. She's been called to Ba Sing Se on official business. She hopes to be back next week, but don't count on it." Kuvira expected Lin to leave right then, but instead she turned on the radio and started tinkering with it. "Just so you know, I know where you're coming from with Su. I know how extreme she can be, whether with her love or her cruelty." Lin paused. "I really hope you aren't waiting on her to open her eyes and realize that you really were her daughter, and that she should try to mend things."

Kuvira crossed her arms, focused on the radio. "I'm not."

"Good. Because if anything, the disappointment Su's going to give you for the next thirty years will sink you far faster than the isolation of prison."

"Are you really going to keep me on suicide watch for the next thirty years?"

Lin shrugged. "Probably not, but if you give us reason to keep up the surveillance, we will. You make this sentence what you want."

With that, Lin left. Kuvira moved over to the radio, switched through a few stations, and settled on one playing jazz music. She'd read the newspaper that morning, and there had been nothing of worth. She figured there'd be no reason to focus on the outside world when her own little bubble had just gotten monumentally better. She looked to the mirror, mouthed, "thanks," and turned back to her workplace.

Spirits, she'd really been looking forward to seeing Korra this week. She wanted to ask her if any of the roaming bandits had returned with Wu's rule; how the idiot's "democracy" thing was going; how all her friends were doing; and if she had parole. Her dreams had sifted away from desire in the night to anxieties shifting into nightmares so elusive she could only remember their contents for seconds after waking up. She'd tried to record them on a piece of paper by her bed, and had words like "Su," "the guard," "Zaheer," and "re-education" on the paper in barely legible writing.

She still couldn't remember the exact content of the dreams, but she could see unresolved guilt when she saw it. Spirits, even within the six or so months she'd been in prison, the amount of times she told herself she was sickened by her re-education camps, forcing towns to join the Empire, killing everyone she did to show off her weapon, and causing such pain to her adoptive family hadn't let her forgive herself. Recently, she thought about the Beifongs she didn't think about much—Huan and Baatar Sr. How they had been as much a part of her foster family, yet she didn't even _think_ about what she did to them. She had the vaguest memory of watching Baatar confront his father and brother after they refused to bow to her. She remembered being so unconcerned with those two bowing to her, or at least it didn't give her the satisfaction that seeing Su do it would've. Those two, they were so innocent in the scheme of things—they didn't try to assassinate her, they didn't stop her as she was about to beat Korra, and they didn't spit in her face when she apologized. In fact, when Baatar ranted about his father was one of the only times Kuvira knew to stay quiet and just listen to him.

She just didn't have the hatred in her that Baatar had for his father, and she'd always liked Huan as a kid. When they all did their earth bending training, Kuvira was often paired with Huan, and she was one of the first ones that he admitted that he didn't want to learn how to fight to. Of course, Su hadn't minded his different path, but he had been so scared to tell his mother at first. It had been a team effort, partially on the part of Baatar Sr., that Kuvira even got to live with them, and she remembered the times Baatar Sr. had happily shown her architectural blueprints when Kuvira wanted as thorough an idea of Zaofu as possible when she became a guard.

Maybe if she couldn't get Su to forgive her, she could get her feelings on the table with her children. She'd…hold off on Baatar.

No, she couldn't just start writing letters to everyone but Baatar. She owed her closest friend within the family and ex-fiancé that much respect. If she were going to contact anyone, she'd contact Baatar.

She sighed and pulled out her paper and pen. Was she ready to talk to Baatar? She knew if she started talking to him now, she'd have to accept her position as a pen-pal, and in a relationship that made been him making every move, she'd have to grovel for a miracle to get them back together.

Did she…owe him an explanation about why she shot him?

_Baatar,_

_I understand why you're doing what you're doing, but I won't say that it hasn't hurt me to hear how you feel. I know you must hate me, must be so confused as to why I threw our life away together to kill Avatar Korra. It was one of many heartless decisions I made on our campaign, and I'm sorry you, sweet Baatar, were one of the victims. I know how ridiculous it sounds, but I never intended for you to die; I accepted the fact that you may die, but I never wanted it. In the back of my mind, before the Colossus was infiltrated and I lost to Avatar Korra, I told myself I'd go looking for you after the battle was won. I hope you know that._

_I'm glad you're doing okay, and that your family is beginning to mend itself. I know you must be fighting it, but don't. You love your family, and you guys deserve to be whole again. Continue this correspondence as you wish, but don't begrudge your family. We did some awful things together, and I never wanted to hurt your family. Don't hurt them any more._

_Keep the wedding ring; I just got Aunt Lin to give me a radio, and she won't let me have the ring, regardless of whether or not I can bend it._

_Best,_

_Kuvira_

She read the letter over a few times, and deemed it good enough to send to Baatar. She wanted to add a line about how pissed she was that he had broke their engagement over a letter instead of trying to see her in person, but she let it go.

She wrote short letters of apology to all the other Beifong siblings as well as Baatar Sr., but she struggled with writing one to Su. While the others maybe, possibly would read the letters, she knew Su wouldn't.

Yet, the emotions were killing her, and at least now she could get them out as words. She'd just write it and throw it away.

_Su,_

_I wish I could be everything you believe. Trust me when I say that I wish I was the heartless dictator who brainwashed your son and felt nothing for everything that happened. But I know that's not me, and deep down, I know you do too. I know the kind of person you are—the kind of person who forgives people for their wrongdoings and believes that people can change. I know I changed for the worst, but I also have changed for the better._

_I know you must still be hurt and angry, but one day I hope you will see me for who I want to be and am. I can never repay you for taking me in as a child and raising me, but the more time I have to sit here and think about it, the more I realize that maybe your rejection of me wasn't that far off. Sitting here, I've begun to realize that you never did see me as a daughter._

_It explains far more than I'd like to admit, starting with why Baatar is on house arrest and I'm in prison. Am I angry about this? Yes. But, I don't expect anything to change. Even with this information, my feelings for you haven't changed. I still respect you, and you and Baatar Sr. will always be the parents I never had. You may not consider me a daughter anymore, but I will always consider you my mother._

_Best,_

_Kuvira_

She thought about ripping it up, but folded it in half and stuck it under her mattress. She didn't even know if what she wrote made sense, but she did feel just a little bit better.

She switched the radio to another station and picked up a new book. This one was a biography of Princess Azula, given to her by Korra, and she wasn't sure if it was meant to be insulting or not. She wondered if she could lure Lin back out by appealing to Lin's dislike of many of Su's parenting/life tactics. At worst, she could turn on talk radio or a sports station now. She'd survive the week.

Maybe, sometime in the week, she could figure out why she needed the Avatar's company so damn much. Solitary confinement seemed like enough of a reason, but Kuvira couldn't be sure.

* * *

 

The next week, Korra came in with all smiles, but there was something off about that smile.

"Hey, so you know how I told Asami that I was visiting you," Korra said.

"Yes…?" Kuvira answered.

"Well, I might've told more than just Asami. I…told Bolin and Mako and…anyone who asked. I figured you wouldn't care."

Kuvira shrugged. "It's your decision. Doesn't affect me."

"Well, it kind of does." Korra removed her hand from the back of her neck. "Someone wanted to visit you."

"Who?"

Korra actually walked out before saying who was visiting.

"Hey Kuvira." It was Bolin, offering her one of his signature smiles. The smile, however, faded within moments. "Ohh, you don't look happy."

She didn't? She wasn't frowning, was she? "You're fine, Bolin."

He loosened his tense shoulders. "Okay, good. Sorry, you looked mad. I forgot that you always look that way."

Oh, Bolin. She had forgotten how much Bolin lightened the mood. She lifted a brow. "How've you been?"

"Good. Varrick offered another major mover role, but I turned it down." He paused. "Actually, I'm sort of continuing the work I did with you. Aid work, army work."

She smiled. It wasn't a big smile, and probably looked like she was just trying to prove that she didn't look perpetually angry, but it was something. "I'm proud of you. You found your calling. It must feel good."

Bolin rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, it's great." He looked around. "Is this a prison cell?"

"Yes. I moved in here a few months ago. It's almost as nice as my apartment back in Zaofu."

"I'm impressed." He paused. "Does Korra visit you a lot?"

"Once a week ever since I was incarcerated."

"Wow, that's commitment. You two must be friends now." Kuvira nodded. "Where did she go, by the way?"

Kuvira began to motion toward the mirror, but stopped. "Bolin, you know me, right?" He nodded. "Let's skip the small talk. Why are you visiting me after everything I put you and your girlfriend's family through?"

Bolin looked at the surface of the table between them before answering. "I idolized you when I first joined you. I'm sure you know that. I loved you and everything you did, what you represented. I followed your lead and doing the aid work we did changed my life in a way I can never thank you enough for. But, once I started to see the darkness to your plans, the coldness in your heart, I regretted everything I did and thought I had to do everything in my power to separate myself from the person I was then. But, then you surrendered, and I thought, for a moment, that I saw the idealistic, passionate woman I began to work for escaping through that icy shell. And, now, I just…I came here because I want to know the truth about the woman I worked for all those years. I want to be sure of myself when I tell my future kids about the time I worked for you."

Bolin had no idea how much those words meant to her. In a way, she couldn't even really process it. Up until then, she believed that Korra would be the only person who would ever forgive her, and only because they'd spent, what, hours in the Spirit World cutting themselves open and revealing their fears and regrets to each other.

Kuvira exhaled. "What would you need to know?"

"Just how…how much of everything was real?" She furrowed her brow. "Like, how nice you were. I mean, you were always intense, but what we did—we saved lives, fed starving people, helped turn impoverished towns into not only stable but flourishing areas. And, that couldn't be fake, so when did the facade come up? When did you start forcing towns to join the Empire, making the re-education camps, thinking that super weapon would be…a good idea?" Bolin winced.

Kuvira exhaled. She had spent a long time thinking about this, but she still didn't have the right words for it. She glanced up at the mirror, almost 100% certain that Korra was watching them.

"I can't give you a definite answer if you're asking how I justified what I did. Looking back, there were so many decisions I made that I can't understand now. Forcing the states—yes, it was tough love, I suppose. The re-education camps…" she sighed, "that's where everything started going down a dark road. They started out as prisons where we sent bandits who still posed a threat after any state was annexed, but the men or women weren't fit to join the army. When I started throwing dissenters in, I was already neck-deep in the power bath." She shook her head. "I can even remember telling myself that I was taking the power on as a burden so my people could be ruled fairly. Spirits, Bolin, there wasn't logic in it, there wasn't brave sacrifices. At one point, it just started to make sense with no morality behind it." She glanced at the water cup she'd left by her bed. "Here's the best comparison I can make: have you ever been really drunk?"

Bolin looked around. "Yeaaaah, once or twice."

"That's what that kind of power feels like. It overtakes you, and you feel so good, so strong, and that everything in life is going so well. You don't think twice about something because the feeling means more than the thought. You think you thought it over, but really, you didn't. You stumble along, and everyone else can tell you how far you've drifted from your true self, but as far as you're concerned, you're as in control and yourself as ever. And, before you know it, you've commissioned a giant mecha tank for your super weapon in a machine that only you can control and suddenly a land that has been historically integrated seems like a great last edition to an already complete puzzle. In those moments, I felt as much a strong and self-sacrificing leader as I did when I first set out."

"When did you realize that what you were doing was wrong?"

"That's the thing. That didn't occur to me for a while. When you guys broke into the Colossus and the arm stopped working and it blew up…like I said, drunks don't even realize how drunk they are even after the negative effects of the alcohol start showing up. I didn't even realize it when I shot that gun. It wasn't that what I was doing was wrong, it was that it was out of my control. It wasn't until Korra and I landed in the Spirit World that it started to dawn on me."

Bolin smiled a little. "Like a hangover?"

"A hangover that still hasn't ended, and even if it does, rehab is thirty years. Yes." She paused. "Does any of that make sense?"

"It does, but I guess I can't figure out how you went through with the littler things, the dirty work you did yourself. I mean, you nearly threw Varrick off a train and used Zhu Li as target practice for a superweapon. That's some cold stuff. You never thought…"

"No. Part of the drunk on power feeling is the feeling that every little means justifies the end. I know now how horrible I was."

Bolin shook his head. "I guess the craziest part is that…I mean, do you remember the way things were when I first joined you? You were always as professional as you were for all three years, but things were so much lighter. We talked a lot. We celebrated our successes, and you were part of the celebration. I just can't imagine what could've changed that took away the happiness of what we did. I mean, truly, were you happy as we got near the end?"

"Are you talking about not accepting Zhu Li's victory tea?"

"No. Well, yes, but I mean…don't you remember? You used to give me all this insider information about the Beifongs when you learned that I started dating Opal, you'd make Baatar do hundreds of push ups with you on his back, metal bend away Baatar's glasses when he got too involved trying to explain mechanical failures to us, and even just the way used to smile so much more." He furrowed his brow. "Is that person real, or was she a prop and the ice…metal queen underneath was the real you?"

The memories flooded back, and the nostalgia had a much stronger pull than Kuvira ever expected. Forget wanting her life with the Beifongs as a kid. One of her happiest times were those first few years when her love for Baatar was new, the prospect of joining the extended Beifong family was real, "Aunt" Lin and "brother-in-law" Bolin and all, and she used to have fun and enjoy the company of everyone she worked with.

"That was all real. Those feelings, what I did…I'm sorry that I stopped. I shouldn't have. Eventually, the desire to appear inhuman and invincible in order to gain respect from the states and those watching overtook the necessity for fun and low pressure human interaction. Call it another ridiculous sacrifice I thought I had to make."

"What do you do now? In here?"

Kuvira shrugged. "Read, exercise, sleep. I've recently gotten back into dancing and that radio can pass a few hours. It's a tedious existence, but boring is better than miserable. Haven't gotten there yet."

Bolin's eyes widened for a bit, and Kuvira assumed he'd spotted the scars on her wrists. She hadn't been hiding them, but they only became really visible then.

"By the way, thank you," Kuvira said. "I never got to formally do so when you worked for me. You helped a lot of people while working for me, and I hope you understand the magnitude of your work." She smiled. "Your bending is nothing short of incredible as well."

Bolin then proceeded to hug Kuvira, the kind of embrace where he locked her arms to her side so it wasn't like she could hug him back if she wanted to. And damn that kid, she might want his forgiveness, but physical contact was not part of the deal.

"Bolin, we never did this even when you were my favorite new recruit, and nothing has changed," Kuvira said.

They talked for a bit longer, Bolin asking how the prison sentence was going, and Korra joined a while later. Eventually, Bolin walked out, having just discovered that Lin and the guards were watching him the whole time, leaving Korra with Kuvira.

"Drunk on power, huh?" Korra said, smirking.

"It was the best I could come up with."

"It works, in a weird way. You've come a long way for just six months." She paused. "Sorry about not visiting you last week. I hope everything was okay."

Kuvira nodded. "It was."

It wasn't until long after Korra had left for the day that she realized how monumental that statement was.

* * *

 

That night, as she drifted off to sleep, it was a genuinely sweet memory that graced her thoughts, the first one in so long.

_Six months into the Earth Kingdom campaign, and Kuvira had found a new sub-goal along with uniting the territory: whipping Baatar into shape. As she explained to him multiple times over their work together, he couldn't be the lanky engineer nerd he was; he was too valuable, and far too easy a target for anyone wanting to get to her. The least he could do was bulk up, appear a bit more able-bodied than he was._

_That day's work done early, she made sure Baatar was working hard that evening._

_"Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen..." she said as she sat on his back, all her weight on him._

_He was supposed to get to one hundred that night, but seeing as he was already sweating, it might take more than one try. Good thing they had all night._

_"What is this really accomplishing? I could barely hit a hundred without you on me," Baatar complained._

_"How do you think improvement happens? If you're lucky, maybe I'll drop a leg down at fifty. Don't stop! Eighteen..."_

_She could feel his arms shake and resisted the brief urge to ease up on him. This was for his own good as much as her's and the army's. Besides, maybe if he gained more muscle mass than she had, he could stop that unconscious inferiority complex problem he had in bed. He'd taken off his glasses for the workout, and she absentmindedly metal bent them around her as she counted._

_"C'mon, Baatar, twenty, twenty-one, almost a quarter there," she said._

_"I asked you to be my girlfriend, not my drill instructor."_

_"Your bitterness won't make me ease up. I helped train the dancers, and count your blessings that I'm not doing that training with you."_

_He huffed and gave a particularly weak push up as he continued his set._

_There was a knock on the door, and Baatar crumpled to the ground. Kuvira rolled her eyes and let whoever made Baatar waste twenty-three push ups in. She was underdressed, having taken off the overwear in order to feed Baatar's inferiority complex into motivation by having to look at her shoulder and arm muscles. Letting anyone but a medic or Baatar see her would normally bother her, but she figured anyone who was bothering her had a good enough reason that she could dismiss it._

_Instead, it was Bolin, clutching a piece of paper and a box of crayons. His eyes widened and his ears reddened, but he made no move to leave._

_"What do you need, Bolin?" she said as she kicked Baatar's side. "Did I tell you to stop?"_

_"What are you doing to Baatar?" Bolin asked._

_Another kick of encouragement and Baatar got back into push up position, groaning the whole way up. "He's trying to gain enough muscle mass to pass for a semi-durable human being instead of a stick of a man that a group of children could kidnap and torture at will."_

_"Thanks, Kuv," Baatar replied._

_Bolin laughed a little. "Good luck, Baatar."_

_Baatar kept doing the set, even if he clearly wasn't trying hard enough, and Kuvira focused on Bolin. "What do you need?"_

_He started blushing again. "I uh, it's...It's not a big deal."_

_She gave him a look. "You came all the way here. Just get it out."_

_"Well, I was writing a letter to Korra and I thought she'd like accompanying drawings, and as I was drawing everyone, I forgot what side your beauty mark was on."_

_That was it? She knew she should expect it from Bolin; he was still making the transition between boy and young man, and she told herself that his charisma and lava bending were enough to bear the change._

_"The right," she said._

_Bolin nodded, dropped to the ground, and used the floor as a makeshift table to draw his single dot on whatever art he'd created for the Avatar, ignoring the perfectly good table a few feet from him. Even Baatar noticed the fumble._

_"Bolin?"_

_He got back up. "Yes, Lady Kuvira?"_

_"One, don't call me that." He leaned back a bit. "And could you do me a favor? I don't think Baatar here gets what we're trying to do."_

_"What do you need me to do?"_

_"Remove your tunic. Show Baatar what a muscled young man should look like."_

_"He's at least five years younger than me!" Baatar protested._

_"Irrelevant," she said to her second-in-command._

_Bolin removed his tunic, leaving his arm, shoulder, and torso muscles all visible or outlined through the undershirt he wore. He didn't seem embarrassed at first, but upon looking over at Kuvira, he got red again, as if he'd just realized that she wasn't in full uniform._

_"Look at that definition, the amount of muscle, the strength it gives off. That's what you want, Baatar."_

_"He's a soldier," Baatar hissed._

_"As are you. You're just higher ranking. The point is, if a group of bandits or anti-unification group wanted to kidnap someone, they wouldn't choose Bolin. You_ look _like the engineer, and you're a hazard. Now, if you looked more like Bolin, we could take away that anxiety."_

_She dug a fist in between his shoulder blades, and he sucked air in through his teeth, but didn't collapse._

_"Thanks, Boss!" Bolin said as he headed towards the door._

_"How bad is that drawing?" Kuvira asked._

_"Great!" he said as he closed the door._

 


	10. Reminiscing

"I meant to ask you," Kuvira said over another game of Pai Sho and a couple cups of tea with Korra, "how's Wu's democracy going?"

Korra's eyes went to the Pai Sho board. "Um, it could be going better."

It felt so strange to feel a negative feeling at her one-time rival (if he could be graced with that term)'s failure, but then again, it was more about the Earth Kingdom than Wu.

Kuvira took a sip of tea. "How so?"

"People are panicked, I guess. With Wu making that move to step down, the people became afraid of the Dai Li seizing control before a democracy can be set up. And, I don't know, Tenzin and some of the other leaders seem really wary of giving the citizens of the Earth Kingdom so many choices in government considering their history. I'm not completely sold, but everyone's worried that a people who've only had monarchs and a," Korra smiled for just a moment, "tyrannical dictator wouldn't _want_ to have to choose their leaders. It's hard, you know, especially with democracy in Republic City being so new; we don't know the full picture when it comes to pros and cons. President Raiko has mentioned possible problems with voter attendance in elections, and that's with a nation that wanted a democracy. Imagine what kind of chaos could come to the Earth Kingdom if they don't want a democracy."

Kuvira made her next move. "I don't suppose you've attempted to collect data from the people?"

"People in Ba Sing Se and the major Earth Kingdom towns have given solid yes or no answers, but when we asked villages, some of them didn't even know what a democracy was, or what it looked like in action. How could we turn these people on their heads like that?" Korra huffed. "I thought this would be so easy, but it really seems like the Earth Kingdom _likes_ someone stepping up or existing in a position of power outside of their grasp and doing the grunt work for them."

"Did you ever consider that maybe that isn't a bad thing? All four nations have existed for thousands of years without elections."

"Don't you hate monarchs?"

"Yes. I'm not talking about someone who believes he or she has the right to rule because of what family they're born into, I'm talking about someone leading a nation because they've proven themselves to be a capable leader. I believed, and call me a giant narcissist, but I still believe I'm fit to lead the Earth Kingdom. You know why? Because I have the skills needed to be a good leader. If everything had gone the way I planned, when I retired, I would've searched the Earth Kingdom for someone worthy of taking my place."

"But how would you be able to guarantee that your personal bias doesn't get in the way of what the people need?"

"Simple. You maintain a cabinet. Form balance within the government system so it isn't one person making the decisions, but it isn't such a huge system that the people are overwhelmed with decision-making."

Korra wrinkled her brow and made her next Pai Sho move. Kuvira got a harmony off her, but Korra hardly noticed. "So…what kind of government is that? Would the people have any direct influence on the government?"

"Give them one job, I suppose. Divide the Earth Kingdom as you please, by state, by town, by population segments, and have them elect the cabinet that the overall leader works with."

"How is the leader put into office?"

"Like I said, based on merit. Perhaps the previous elected cabinet would find him or her."

"But what if everyone in the cabinet isn't fit to rule?"

"Then why were they elected in the first place?"

Korra slammed her first onto the table, knocking a few tiles into the air, but not destroying the game. "I'm the Avatar, not a political scholar! Why am I the one being burdened with this? Why can't Wu leave good enough alone and just be king? We could get him a great group of advisors—"

Korra reached for a Pai Sho tile, but Kuvira put her hand over Korra's stopping her. "No, you're not going to do that, nor should you want that. Don't let my work be in vain. This is about the people, and I know you, and I know you're willing to work and suffer for these people. I promise, a solution will come, one that won't hurt the everyday citizens."

Kuvira might've made it up, but she swore she saw Korra blush. She did definitely smile, though. "Do you think the world leaders would let me take you out of prison and let you finish the job you started? Go more benevolent than tyrant? You still have plenty of supporters."

The idea made Kuvira's heart warm, but she refused to let it heat up too much; she didn't need that much of a shock from the frost of reality. "I highly doubt the leaders would agree, or that it'd be a wise move. I need to stay out of this build while I serve my time. Allowing me to step up would be erasing the pain I caused while in power. I'm willing to lend my knowledge, but I don't think anything past that will work."

"I'll see what Tenzin thinks. He's always seen you more as unbalanced than evil; he'll have a more…neutral opinion, I hope."

"Everyone else still hates me?"

Korra made a Pai Sho move. "Well, no one has a grudge the way Su does, but I think everyone else just doesn't know anything past the Colossus. My cousins might still be holding a grudge against you publicly flipping them off when you denounced world leaders…although Eska liked your super-weapon."

"What about your dad?"

Korra sighed. "He doesn't talk about it. I think it was hard for him to accept that the young woman that saved him and fought so hard to save me turned into the tyrant you were at the end."

Kuvira won herself another harmony.

"So, are your cousins the ones who look the exact same despite being different genders?"

Korra smiled. "That's them. I just like that Desna isn't taller than Eska, and I hope it stays that way." Korra made a move. "Bolin told me that Eska thought he and you were dating." Korra paused. "In fact, she may have believed that up until we said you were in prison and that Bolin stopped working for you."

"Tell your cousins I'd rather date them than Bolin."

"Which one?"

"Like you said, they're the same person. Whichever one liked my spirit weapon."

Korra held back a laugh. "I feel like the only way those two will have a semi-healthy love life will be if they marry another set of fraternal twins that are just as attached to each other as they are and they can become a creepy four-person unit."

Kuvira let Korra get a harmony on her; even after all their time playing, Korra had only improved a little bit. "The idea of that incestuous wedding bed isn't even the worst thought to come out of the madhouse the Four Elements lobby was on the day of Wu's coronation."

Korra made a pouting face. "I heard. There is so much I missed, and it wasn't just you usurping power." She changed positions. "Now you have to tell me what happened."

Kuvira hadn't thought about that day in so long, and she wasn't sure what emotions she was feeling thinking about it. In a way, she couldn't believe that the stupidity that went down in the lobby was for the same event in which she usurped power from Prince Wu.

"Baatar proved his uselessness in a new way that day, almost immediately going over to Su in some pointless attempt to impress his estranged mother, thus abandoning any attempts to quell the idea that we weren't in a real relationship. A couple kids came over and asked for autographs, and that was actually really nice. I didn't often get to spend time interacting with the Earth Kingdom citizens, and seeing people were so happy with my work that they wanted me to write my name on a piece of paper is incredible." Kuvira paused. "As I'm sure you've observed." Kuvira made another move, another harmony. "Then, Prince Wu slides in and starts flirting with me with the most pedestrian pick up lines I've ever heard, and there wasn't even room to look like I wanted to strangle him. I try to defuse the situation before this idiot breaks my composure, tell him I had his suite changed—"

"Why did you have his suite changed?"

"I was housing multiple people; it made sense."

Korra smirked. "Yeah, I'm sure pettiness played no part. Just like not stopping the production of the shirts with your face on them."

"I _told_ you that those shirts never came to my attention. Anyway, I told him that I had our suites changed, and he calls me gumdrop. I'd strangle _Baatar_ if he called me that, and this exchange is like watching a mentally impaired poodle monkey piss on your leg because what am I supposed to even do to this guy besides develop the most rock-solid justification for what I planned to do."

Korra was biting back a smile, but it wasn't working well. "And where was Kuvira-is-my-sun Baatar Jr. through all this?"

"And that's the worst part—Baatar's still talking to Su, as if it takes more than five seconds for her to tell him that she hates him and for him to pout back to me. I trained with him for over a year, helped him gain fifty pounds of muscle, and he can't even stand by my side and glare at a man-child that, considering I could kill him with two fingers, Baatar could've at least won a fight against. It was pathetic."

Kuvira watched Korra smile for a long while before she burst out laughing.

"I can only imagine how pissed you looked the whole time. Ah, Wu can't get a date, but he can get a reaction out of girls."

Kuvira shrugged and made her next move. "It wasn't much exasperation. I had him at the hotel suite. The gumdrop comment only came into the forefront while he placed that metal on me. He was upset far longer than he was flirting."

Korra laughed again. "It's so bad that I find your bullying him funny. I just have my own experience with Wu invading personal space."

Kuvira raised a brow and leaned back with a smile on her face, Korra's move. "Your turn."

"So Mako and Asami and I were planning on having a lunch to start bonding again, Team Avatar style, but Mako has to bring Wu. This wouldn't have been as awful as it seemed, but I'm trying to have a nice hug with Mako and this guy wedges his way into it. Okay, maybe royals don't know personal boundaries, or this guy's just perpetually in another world, so I ignore it as best I can. There's a lot of explaining I have to give for my absence anyway. Then, he starts asking me to go into the Avatar State and is feeling my arms and at that point, not only was I being turned on to girls, but I think he completely turned me off to guys for the next lifetime." Korra shook her head. "Also, I think that was the day you tried to kidnap him."

Kuvira put up her index finger as she made her next move. "Ordered someone to kidnap. If I had done it, we would've _actually_ kidnapped him."

"And he would've had pretty Kuvira all to himself."

Kuvira blushed, taken off guard by the compliment. They made eye contact, and Korra started blushing. "I didn't mean—Bolin told me that when Wu was evacuating the city, he was supposedly singing a song about you being pretty. Should've uh, clarified."

Kuvira looked back at the Pai Sho board. "Don't worry." She moved a piece. "And your experience sounded awful. I empathize."

Korra smiled. "I've never heard you talk about Baatar Jr. with such bitterness. I know they say half the relationship to get over the breakup, but you never talked about him before, not even in side comments."

"I'm simply lamenting my hard work." She paused. "And that goes for him getting captured too. If he'd accepted my offer to train him in some weapon, he could've—" Korra gave her a look. "held his own for more than two seconds."

Korra rubbed her hands together, preparing her next move. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but based on what little I saw, you seemed like you had Baatar in the palm of your hand. Like, professionally, emotionally, physically…"

"Physically? I hope you mean if I could beat him in a fisticuffs match."

Korra smirked. "That too."

Kuvira struggled to find the right words before sighing, "Believe what you will. He was always very…submissive." She moved a tile. "Perhaps to an extreme. It wasn't like he didn't get anything out of the relationship, if that's what you want to hear. He just liked to make me happy and was in tune with particular tastes."

"So basically your entire intimate life was topping him while his hands were secured to the bed with those metal strips you nearly killed me with at Zaofu?"

Kuvira tried to hide her discomfort. "Tell me more about the democracy."

Korra shrugged, and won herself a harmony. "Based on everyone's reviews of your tepid relationship, I'm happy to hear you guys were intimate at all."

"How is this conversation helping me find inner peace?"

"Reaffirming your humanity is all."

Kuvira looked back at the board, wondering if her own wandering mind would win Korra a game. "If that's how you define humanity, I'm quite inhuman at this point."

Korra shrugged. "Six months isn't bad. I went three years. It happens."

Kuvira took a sip of tea, thinking back to the conversation she and Korra had in the Spirit World flowerbed. They'd been so…open with one another, even more so than when Korra first started visiting Kuvira. It was like the Spirit World wasn't a part of the lives they led, and they could shrug off every fight, every attempted murder, every hateful thought and just talk. And they did, for what felt like quite some time. What Korra had gone through was beyond comprehension for Kuvira while they talked, but now…Kuvira knew what helplessness felt like.

She looked up from her tea and locked eyes with Korra.

The moment lasted longer than Kuvira had thought possible, just the two of them, the room silent, seemingly communicating through nothing.

Korra broke the stare first, eyes on the Pai Sho board. "Your turn."

Kuvira made her move. "Thank you."

Korra looked to game board. "I didn't mean to let you get that harmony."

"No, for being here for me. I don't want to think about where I'd be without you."

Korra smiled. "It's been my pleasure. This is one of the first times I've really been able to make a big impact on one person, and honestly, I'm glad you're the foe who wanted to regain balance. Besides, I'm still hoping that you'll teach me how to blind people with metal without actually blinding them once we're out. I feel like if you didn't lose it, you would've succeeded the Beifong sisters and Toph as the greatest metal bender in the world."

Kuvira smiled back. "Assuming I don't wither away once I'm out, I'd be happy to show you a few moves. There are some amazing tag-team metal bending moves I've wanted to use, but there weren't any metal benders in my army up to par."

Korra glanced at Kuvira's arms, freed from the loose shirt with rolled up sleeves. "I don't think you'll be withering away." Korra paused. "So, I got a hold of something that I think you'll get a kick out of."

Kuvira gave her a look. "Is it about my sex life?"

"Nope. It's about Bolin."

Bolin had been kind enough to begin exchanging letters with Kuvira, detailing his accomplishments at his job and assuring her without fail that one day the Beifongs would forgive him, it'd just take time. She smiled a bit thinking of him.

"What did you do?"

Korra pulled a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Kuvira. Turns out, it was a drawing Kuvira assumed Bolin had done…of her, Varrick, Bolin's pet fire ferret, and Zhu Li.

"Where are my eyebrows?" Kuvira commented.

Korra giggled. "I only came to appreciate it after I fought you. Talk about making you less scary. Forget about your eyebrows—where's the top of your hair? If it makes you feel any better, he only gave himself eyebrows," Korra said as she pulled out another drawing, this of Bolin and Korra.

Kuvira shook her head. "I remember him coming into my quarters while I was training Baatar and he asked me what side my beauty mark was on. Apparently, he forgot to ask a few things."

Korra laughed. "Your eyebrows would be hard to draw. But aren't these great? I think these are great. He even captured your tyranny."

Kuvira scrutinized the drawing again. "I have never stood like that."

"I can actually pinpoint an exact moment when you did this exact pose after defeating someone in battle."

"Who?"

"Me." Korra smiled. "Anyway, that picture captures your likeness completely. And that's not even the best part!" Korra actually pulled more drawings out. "He drew nearly everything! Oh, I'm so glad I kept these. Just look at them!"

There were fictional accounts of Kuvira having given Bolin a makeover through song; the day Kuvira made Baatar carry her around piggyback from the moment he woke up until he went to bed the day he skipped some of his training; grandiose celebrations Kuvira was fairly certain didn't happen after some uniting states; a snowball fight in which everyone pelted Baatar with snowballs, one from Kuvira drawing a thick red crayon line of blood; Kuvira hugging a mech suit (complete with heart between them) with a crying Baatar and a happy Varrick in the background; and a particularly telling picture about everyone in the inner circle—her, Baatar, Varrick, Zhu Li, Bolin, and a few others—passed out on a floor covered in bottles.

"I don't know what this is depicting," Kuvira commented.

Korra grinned and punched Kuvira's shoulder. "Have some humor. These are hilarious, and trust me, I don't believe you participated in any giant parties, drank a drop of alcohol, or got involved in snowball fights. Keep in mind, too, that these were accompanied by such overly formal letters that if it wasn't for the fact that they came together, I wouldn't know which letter went with which picture."

Kuvira went back through the pictures, and she had to admit, they were pretty funny. Bolin hadn't improved his art since the first set of drawings, so these pictures were a colorful mess.

"This one's my favorite," Korra said, handing her another drawing.

It was a picture of Kuvira metal bending against a large group of angry hog monkeys, Bolin, Varrick, Zhu Li, Baatar, and a few faceless soldiers behind her. Kuvira smiled.

"This one is true." She studied the picture further. "Ignoring the Avatar State part."

Korra nodded. "Impressive."

Kuvira shrugged. "It was in a small village. Besides the bandits, they were plagued by a rogue group of those things. They cut off our entrance back to the train. Obviously, Baatar and Varrick were completely useless, Zhu Li didn't have a quick answer, and Bolin could only take them for so long."

"What'd you do? You didn't kill them, did you?"

Kuvira shook her head. "The thing with animals is that the blinding them with metal technique works wonders. Once they're confused, you bind their legs together and they're done." Kuvira pushed down the fabric covering her shoulder, revealing the remains of a large scar. "One of the creatures got a bite off me. It was really early in the campaign, so that incident convinced me to get some really good metal shoulder plates."

Korra shook her head. "You're kind of badass. Not gonna lie."

Kuvira snorted. "Says the _Avatar_."

* * *

 

_"After I was poisoned, I would have done anything to feel in control," Korra said, now at eye level with Kuvira as they sat in the spirit flowerbed. "Everyone says they understand what it's like, to feel that helpless, but it's not something you can't understand hearing it from other people. It's something raw, something indescribable. I'm not even sure if painful is the right word."_

_Just hearing Korra say the word pain reminded Kuvira of her very grounded, agonizing pain in her abdomen; she'd guess ribs, or even a punctured organ. She took deep breaths as Korra talked, mesmerized by the Avatar despite everything. "No one talked about you while you were gone, and—if we're talking about the same feeling, your strength and power truly are limitless."_

_"It's amazing, when you think about it. The strength of the human spirit, how we can hit such intense lows and still be able to get up and improve enough to where the suffering stops feeling real."_

_Kuvira focused on a flower. "My pain never stopped being real. It's like a bone that was set wrong. The initial agony of my parents leaving me is gone, but I can hardly go days without feeling some residual pain—the doubt, the fear of it happening again, the anger that it happened."_

_Korra faltered. "Su…Su never fully replaced your parents, did she?"_

_Kuvira bit back tears, but they were flowing beyond her control now, soaking her skin, her body trembling, choking her up to where she could hardly speak. "No, Su provided shelter, nourishment, and training when I was a kid, but as much as I forced the fantasy, she never saw me as more than one of her charity cases and a protege. I've never…"_

_Korra crawled a bit forward, and seemed to want to reach her hand out, but kept them to herself. "I wish I would've realized it sooner. There was so much pain you were trying to numb, so much insecurity you tried to compensate for… No one deserves to be hurt like that twice."_

_Kuvira tried to catch her breath. "And in the end, what does it all matter? I hurt the people I vowed to help. I'm no better than my parents."_

_"Kuvira…"_

_"They used to call me pathetic. Day in, day out, whether it was while learning to earthbend or just the way I stood while in their presence. I spent the entire campaign thinking, 'I bet they're out here, and I bet when they see me, they'll swallow their words.'" Kuvira swallowed. "But they were right. I am pathetic, and they're going to get the last laugh."_

_When Kuvira looked up, Korra's gaze had grown intense, and she was looking right at her. "No, they're not going to get the last laugh." She paused. "Because I'm not letting you be abandoned again. If Su or Baatar Jr. or your parents aren't going to be here for you, I will."_

_"How can I beli—?"_

_Korra bridged the remaining couple feet between them and wrapped herself around Kuvira. Shuddering for a breath, tears sticky on her face, Kuvira's last little bit of resolve was gone, and she embraced the human warmth the way a baby animal nuzzles into its mother, resting her flushed and tearstained cheek against Korra's collarbone._

_"I'll give you an Avatar promise that I won't leave you," Korra whispered to her._

_As Kuvira sniffed and readjusted in the embrace, Korra didn't flinch. It was like being…Kuvira couldn't even say if it was like being in a mother's arms. But it felt incredible. Maybe Korra was lying and they had died, because sitting in this flowerbed, the petals like velvet on her skin, the Spirit World's warmth like a spring afternoon, and nothing sounding and feeling as good as feeling Korra's chest rise and fall against Kuvira's, feeling her breath on the top of her head, felt otherworldly. Kuvira shut her eyes._

_At some point, Kuvira inched away from Korra, and Korra smiled when she looked back up. "We should get back soon, but there's no reason anyone needs to know what happened."_

_Korra made a motion as if she were rubbing her eyes, and Kuvira took the sign to wipe the tears off her face._

_"What'd you do over those three years?" Kuvira asked, barely above a whisper._

_Korra started collecting flowers, and recounted her tale, voice even and honest. As Korra talked, she put a flower in her hair, and placed one in Kuvira's hair as well._

_"There. Now you look better," Korra said._

_Kuvira sighed. "We have to go back at some point, don't we?"_

_Korra shrugged. "I don't think there is food here. Or bathrooms. So, if either of those sound appealing in the future, we'll have to go."_

_Kuvira tried to get up, but the pain in her chest flared up, nearly beyond what she thought possible for pain. She cried out and collapsed back into the flowers. Korra rushed over to her._

_"Can you walk?"_

_"I just…can't get up."_

_"Guess you got beat up more than you thought."_

_Working slowly, Korra helped Kuvira get up off the flower bed, but her next move was to scoop Kuvira into her arms, holding Kuvira piggyback from the front. As much as Kuvira wanted to let go, she clung to the Avatar and took the break from pain having Korra support her legs gave her._

_"I have to surrender to Raiko. I can't walk in like this," Kuvira said._

_"You could, if you swallowed your pride." Korra walked over to the edge of the portal and paused before settling her back onto the ground. "How about an arm over my shoulder?"_

_"Okay."_

_Korra got down on her knees, Kuvira put her arm around Korra's shoulder, and Korra held it in place. "Alright, one, two, three, up."_

_They rose together, and even though Kuvira couldn't take a deep breath without a burst of pain, she could walk back through the portal. Both their flowers were on the ground, but they looked peaceful where they were. As the yellow light surrounded them, Kuvira looked over at Korra. Korra smiled a bit, and all Kuvira could think to say, even though there was so much more to be said, was, "Thank you, Avatar."_

 


	11. The Love Sage

Kuvira realized she'd been isolated for far too long not from growing familiarity with a single room, but from the day Korra came into Kuvira's cell with varri-cakes and Kuvira didn't have the foggiest idea why. She didn't think it was her birthday, and Korra shouldn't even know what that was. Was it some holiday? She'd gone to prison in the winter, but at that point, she hadn't kept track of how long she'd been inside to know what season it was then.

"What're those for?" Kuvira asked as Korra set down the food.

"It's your one year anniversary."

Kuvira gave Korra a look. "Of being in prison? You don't celebrate that."

"Why not?" Korra took a seat. "It's one less year you have to spend in here. And I know you're a total buzzkill, but are you really going to turn down a party?"

She eyed the varri-cakes. She'd never actually had one before, Varrick having only invented them within the past five years, and in the time they'd been out, no matter how often Varrick provided them during the campaign, she'd been on a strict diet to maintain muscle and energy. She'd enjoyed sweets like any kid, but the taste had never really translated to a huge sweet tooth in adulthood.

She looked up at Korra; yet, the Avatar was doing something really nice for her, and she should be as appreciative as possible. "I suppose, for you, I can make an exception."

Korra smiled and pushed a varri-cake towards her. "To our friendship."

Kuvira smiled and knocked her varri-cake against Korra's. "To our friendship."

The cake was overpoweringly sweet, like she could taste the mass production involved in its making, and the fact that it had an even sweeter filling was like a punch in the gut. For a brief, horrible moment Kuvira thought she'd throw up, but the feeling passed as her system processed the shock from having non-bland food again.

"The guards told me that I might not want to give you outside food because it can shock the system after living off prison food for a while, so if you're torturing yourself eating that, you can stop."

"I'm fine."

But she did set the cake down.

"Good, because if you do throw up, that translates to quite a symbol to our friendship."

Kuvira rolled her eyes good naturedly. "No Pai Sho today?"

Korra shook her head. "I actually wanted to ask you a question." Korra paused. "So, proposals."

Kuvira smiled. "After only a year? Bold, aren't you?"

Korra blushed. "It's—a year isn't that bad! I could've proposed after a month."

"And get immediately rejected? Sure."

"Should've known you'd be conservative about it. How long did Baatar Jr. wait?"

"Nearly three years."

Korra sat back. "What's holding me back?"

"Three things, and these are general observations, so don't go assuming this is a personal attack. One, you've only been dating for a year. Two, you're…how old, twenty…?"

"Twenty-two."

"Twenty-two. Three, Asami is your first girlfriend."

Korra had her arms crossed, but she didn't look angry. "Keep going."

"A year is a very good milestone to reach, but it's also the gamble age to propose. It's technically long enough to see a good chunk of a person, but it also may be just under the amount of time you need to date someone to know if they're marriage material. And don't give me the 'I've known her for more than a year' excuse. I knew Baatar for thirteen years before we got together, and I learned so much more about him when we started dating. It's a completely different side to people, and you need to know, without a doubt, that they aren't going to lose their minds when a relationship goes from platonic to romantic."

Korra nodded. "It was that way with Mako, sure, but with Asami…hardly anything has changed. We're still just as good friends, and she certainly hasn't turned into a crazy girlfriend." Korra smiled. "She may have even gotten more supportive and caring since."

Kuvira nodded. "Then you've thought that one over. Your age."

"How old were you when Baatar proposed?"

"He was twenty-five and I was twenty-four. There comes an age where your love is no longer cute and overly passionate and young, but it's also the age where people aren't as clouded by lust and love that they mistake people for someone good for them."

"Asami's twenty-three and I'm the Avatar."

Kuvira laughed. "Does being the Avatar make every year count for seven, like animals?"

Korra pointed to herself. "Fully. Realized."

Kuvira smirked. "So in Avatar years, how old are you? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and go with five to one. I don't know, Korra, you may even be too _old_."

"When did you gain a sense of humor?"

"I need some way to entertain myself when you aren't here. For all you know, I've completely lost my mind."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Third reason."

"You're bisexual, right?" Korra nodded. "So, really, this is a totally new experience for you, beyond even what it takes to have a first boyfriend." Korra wrinkled her brow. "Let's face it: no one's going to fight you because you're bisexual, but a lot of the people are still not used to a world with anything other than heterosexuality, and parents still teach their kids about love with the female-male model. Tell me you weren't." Korra shook her head. "So you grew up being taught how a relationship works with a girl and boy. So, in a way, you had preparation for dating Mako. It was familiar, and even if you had miles more to go before you understood how to be in a relationship, there were certain things that were understood, that've been conventions for thousands of years. But, now you have Asami, and tell me, has the past year gone by in a rush of new experiences and new social norms?"

"I mean, of course, but I don't see—"

"It's practically been a hurricane of different means of gaining pleasure and satisfaction in life, and what gives us more of a rush than something new that we enjoy? Now, this plays into your relationship because you've, whether you realized it or not, have associated that new, passionate, overwhelming experience of falling in love and interacting with another female into your relationship with Asami. Does this mean your relationship is illegitimate or built more off feelings and than love? No, but it means that you have to _know_ that it's Asami that you love unconditionally, and not being able to cuddle and confine in and have sex with another female."

For a long time, Korra just stared at Kuvira. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-five."

"When did you become a love sage?"

Kuvira shrugged. "I've had a lot of time to think, and I spent a long time deconstructing my relationship with Baatar, see how we came to be, how legitimate the love was, so I could predict if we'd ever be able to have a future."

Korra hesitated.

"What'd you figure out?"

"That I have a better chance seducing the guard who watches me shower and form a new relationship from scratch." Kuvira paused. "About your proposal. Okay, so can I trust that you'll think over everything I just talked out? I'm not trying to bring down your big moment, I'd just hate to see you get hurt."

"Thanks. Anyway, well, first, I was wondering your opinion on the object of engagement."

"Don't you use betrothal necklaces?"

"No, it's a Northern Water Tribe custom. Katara only had one because it was her grandmother's, who was Northern Water Tribe." Korra paused. "I'm sorry I keep referring to Katara as if you've met her."

"I've read plenty on her. It's fine."

"But, no, Southern Water Tribe just do rings. My problem is what kind of ring to give."

"Does she have any affinity for her ancestral nation?"

Korra shook her head. "Her family's one of those families where a Fire Nation man came over to the Earth Kingdom during the Hundred Year War and created a family. She never talks about it."

Kuvira shrugged. "Then get her something she can match with enough of her outfits."

"Isn't that not sentimental?"

"Rings are more fashion than anything, really. If you love her, and she loves you, you make the sentimental value behind it."

"What did your ring look like?"

"Platinum band encrusted in white gold, diamond. It was a little more flashy that I needed, but I always thought it was sweet that he picked a ring that would require him going through more trouble to make sure it was the right size when he could've picked a metal I could've bent."

"Okay." She exhaled. "How'd he propose?"

"It was after an exhausting negotiation with a town that ultimately got us to seventy percent unification, he told me to cancel any plans I had that night. We had dinner in our car, and did that trick where he put the ring in my drink."

"Wait, isn't that risking that you swallow the ring?"

"It would, except…" She gave Korra a look.

"Master metalbender." She paused. "Did you like that?"

"Personally, he did it perfectly. I don't think I would've had the guts to accept it if there were other people there. It depends on how private your relationship is. Considering I hardly hugged Baatar in public, we were very private."

Korra sat back. "I'm not sure how private Asami and I are."

"What was your first date?"

"We went on a vacation into the Spirit World." Korra's eyes lit up. "Oh, I know! I'll bring Asami into the Spirit World and have the aye-aye spirit lead her to it."

"Can I just make a wild guess here and say this aye-aye spirit has no knowledge of human world customs?"

"Yes."

"Then I wouldn't give it something you actually paid for. I wouldn't tell you to involve the spirits—you never know which ones understand romance."

"What about Iroh and his tea shop? He would know."

"Yes, but if you're going to involve the Spirit World, wouldn't it be better to involve the parts of it that let your romance bloom, that represent your relationship? Somehow, I doubt spirits were much of an addition." She looked to the table. "A hindrance, rather."

"I'm going to get you out of prison the moment you consider it a comfortable way to live life and exile you to the Spirit World for the remainder of your sentence just so you can appreciate them."

"Good luck getting Raiko to agree to that one."

Korra planted her elbows on the table. "Alright Empress Romance, what do you think I should do?"

"I told you, something that reflects your relationship. If you truly can't come up with anything, just hang the ring off her car mirror and wait for her to realize it's there."

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic."

Kuvira shrugged, giving nothing away. Korra's eyes lit up, but she didn't say why. The door opened to Kuvira's cell, and a guard tossed in a cardboard box, saying a deadpan, "Happy one year, Captain Kuvira."

The box practically exploded as it reached the floor, individually wrapped tampons and other toiletries littering the floor.

"If tampons are considered a one year present, I think I should check out the hygiene codes around here," Korra commented.

Kuvira ignored Korra's comment and got down to inspect the box. Some of the guards had been making suggestions that Kuvira may be getting more privileges lately, but she couldn't be sure if they had finally taken the giant step and taken her off suicide watch.

She sifted through the contents of the box, and smiled at what she saw.

"If you're actually excited about the tampons, I'm so sorry for assuming," Korra said.

Kuvira shook her head and pulled out a razor. "No, Korra, this is about something a bit bigger."

Korra looked at the razor. "They trust you with that now?"

Kuvira nodded. "Yes. The guards said once I was deemed stable enough for sharp hygiene tools, it meant I was off suicide watch."

Korra's expression brightened, and she got down on the floor and hugged Kuvira. "Congratulations! Ah, man, I thought that was taking a while."

The hug lasted a second too long, both of them realizing it at the same time, quick eye contact and blushing galore. They pulled away, and spent a few seconds doing nothing but collecting the hygiene products on the floor and returning them to the box.

"You know, in retrospect, couldn't you cause just as much damage biting your arm as you could trying to hurt yourself with a razor like that?" Korra said.

"Tell that to the guards, Fully Realized Avatar."

For a moment, Korra didn't respond, and Kuvira caught her own snark. She couldn't even be sure why she was acting this way; usually, even in prison, she tried hard to control what she said. It was like the insanity had picked an exact time to start setting in, like a disease in her brain. Why had she given Korra that long speech about choosing a partner wisely instead of just given her advice about engagement?

"So…I guess we're officially alone…for the first time since you were in the wood cage," Korra said. "Kinda weird. I feel like I should take advantage of this, but I don't know how." She adjusted her position. "Do you have seismic sense?"

"Yes."

"Can you detect lies?"

"No."

"Has Su or Baatar Jr. written back?"

"Not Su, but Baatar and I have been in contact, exchange a couple letters every month. He goes between pouring out his resentment and grief over our relationship and giving me day-to-day reports of how Zaofu is. I suppose it's nothing I shouldn't expect."

Korra looked around the room. "Did you date anyone besides Baatar?"

"Of course, you think I'd marry the first guy I dated?"

"Possibly."

"Well, no, I didn't. I dated a handful of guys in Zaofu. Most of them metal benders I trained with over the years."

"Anyone I know?"

"How should I know? You met all the guards when Su went along with that scum Aiwei's plan to put the blame on one of my guards."

"You dated _the guards_? While you were _captain_?"

"No, I didn't—one. Okay, one of my guards, but it was before he was an official member of the guard, and it was one night."

Korra grinned. "Who?"

"I'm not at liberty to say considering I'm a war criminal now."

"That doesn't make sense."

"I'm protecting him is all. I'm sure his lips are sealed. Besides, it was technically against the rules."

"I don't know if you've mentioned this, but you hated Aiwei, didn't you?"

"I hated Su not trusting her unofficial family, yes. I think Aiwei was a pawn for her controlling nature; she mentally couldn't stand the thought that anyone disagreed with her, so she made sure she'd be able to seek out any hiccups in the system and snuff them out. It made my guards terrified to even get near Aiwei, and made even the most insignificant secrets and private matters get blown out of proportion. For what I gave her, it was a slap in the face for Su to give someone that kind of power over me."

"But…didn't Aiwei also take secrets from Su's kids?"

"Who do you think he focused on, though? Look, bottom line is I'm glad he was the mole and got kicked out, but really, I have no right to complain about Su's lie detecter considering I wouldn't have been able to go become the Great Uniter with him there."

Korra made eye contact. "You and Su are so alike. Honestly, everyone keeps telling me that I'm stupid to think she'll ever make contact with you again, but I think one day, she's going to realize the part she played in your slippery slope and she'll have no other way to handle the emotion than to acknowledge it to you."

Kuvira thought about breaking the eye contact, look away to stew in the pain she still felt over what she did to Su, but she was beginning to find something comforting in Korra's blue eyes. The Avatar reflected hope, and Kuvira still needed a weekly injection of hope.

The moment stopped as another guard opened the door, this one with a tray of food. Korra got up and received the tray. The guard studied Korra for a moment, but decided to leave them be.

"Okay, this is the nicest prison in the Earth Kingdom. They just wanted to watch me squirm, say your food was so bland it'd change your body chemistry…" Korra said.

Korra took a seat on the floor, set the tray between them, and actually took a sampling off her food off the tray and tasted it. "Okay, this could use salt, but it's not going to prevent a prisoner from digesting outside world food. Call your guards out on that bull."

Kuvira studied her. "That is the only food I'm going to get for hours."

Korra looked down at the tray, straight faced, then back up at Kuvira. She smiled. "Fight me for it."

"With what bending?"

"No bending. I want to know who'd win in an old fashioned match." Korra reached for something else on the tray, but Kuvira caught her hand. Korra smiled. "Prison can keep the earth from the earthbender, but you can't take the earth out of the earthebender."

Korra used Kuvira's tension on her arm to knock her off what stance she'd taken while on her knees, landing in a heap a few feet away. Korra got up, moved the tray to the table, and in sidestep to avoid Kuvira grabbing her, fell victim to her own stance being broken as she moved. Kuvira took her down, but Korra flipped the two within seconds. Kuvira struggled to get out of Korra's grip, her mind only blasting through possible metalbending moves she'd use to get out of this. As much good as Korra defeating her at Republic City had gone, it'd sure done a number on her confidence fighting her.

"C'mon, Captain Kuvira! It took you longer than this to pin me down at Zaofu," Korra said, a teasing rather than malicious edge in her voice.

At that point, it was Korra's physical strength versus Kuvira's, and Korra not only wasn't in prison, but the Avatar.

Luckily, a guard walked in before Kuvira would've just flat out surrendered.

Kuvira glanced up; it was the guard who watched her shower, carrying some miscellaneous supply Kuvira probably did need but didn't interest her then. He smirked as he took in the scene.

"If this goes any farther, I'm going to have to report to my superiors, Avatar Korra. Prisoners can't consent."

Korra smirked right back, released her hold on Kuvira, leaving Kuvira as the one holding Korra. The sudden change in force would've just knocked Korra off her, but Korra grabbed hold last second and they flipped over again, Kuvira now on top. "She seems into it." Korra kept smiling, clearly recognizing the guard after Kuvira had described him to her months ago. "Besides, why would you want to leave this? It's the most you'll get of her for quite some time."

The guard turned red and started looking around wildly, as if someone else was watching all of them. His response once he got his composure was, "Aren't you in a relationship already?"

Kuvira pulled away from Korra, and Korra got to her feet. "What are you talking about? We're both in relationships. I'm with Asami and she's in a relationship with herself."

The guard set down what he'd brought and exited. Kuvira gave Korra a look. "You know how he's going to take that, right?"

Korra was silent for a moment. "And I honestly meant that to mean that you're a giant narcissist." She shrugged. "Now that no one's watching you anymore, no harm, no foul, right?"

Kuvira shrugged. "Have I earned my food yet?"

"It _is_ your special day."

The two of them spent their time left together in relative silence. Kuvira couldn't speak for Korra, but she was deep in thought. Something had felt so different about that little wrestling match. Some aspects made sense, like how Kuvira hadn't fought as well in close combat, but other parts just…didn't. Like how she hadn't been panicking to get out from under Korra's grip. The only other person she'd let pin her down like that was Baatar, and even then, she'd teasingly put herself back on top even while they made out.

She hadn't been…well, enjoying Korra so close, had she? In the other contexts in which they'd been physically close, Kuvira had been broken, and had enjoyed it for the comfort. But now, she wasn't depressed or helpless or any more than annoyed at how out of practice she was. So, why was she content with Korra's touch? There was some psychological kink that being in solitary had done to Kuvira's mind, and that was as far as she would take it.

If anything, the orphan syndrome she'd only recently begun to accept as an actual part of her was acting up, and since Korra was the first one to show her real compassion, she had formed an attachment to the Avatar. It didn't illegitimize their friendship, but Kuvira had to be careful not to take anything Korra did the wrong way.

As Korra walked to the door, Kuvira asked, "Do you use seismic sense?"

"No one ever taught me."

Kuvira was honestly flabbergasted that someone like the Avatar didn't know the basic skill, but it also made her feel...happy. "You want to learn?"

Korra smiled. "Same time, same place?"

Maybe it was just that part that was making her happy.

 


	12. A New Sense

"Alright, I am so pumped! Let's go learn some seismic sense!" Korra said as she entered Kuvira's prison cell their next meeting.

"You may be a bit disappointed; I can't guarantee that you'll be getting into any serious action this lesson," Kuvira answered as she removed her shoes. "It all depends on how fast you learn."

Korra grinned. "I'm pretty damn fast."

"Alright. Take off your shoes, then."

Korra practically threw her shoes against the wall she was so excited. "You have no idea how exciting this is. Learning bending from a former enemy? It's such an Aang move."

Facing away from Korra, Kuvira let herself smile. "I thought you were being your own person now."

"My own person who appreciates a good parallel."

"Alright, let's get started. Get in your earthbending stance."

Korra did so, and Kuvira stood facing her.

"How much time have you spent connecting to the element?"

"If it involved standing still, breathing, and concentrating, it didn't happen in my initial training, if ever. Metal bending was the last time I learned new earth bending from a teacher, and we just got to work."

"Okay, then welcome to the core principles of earthbending. Stance." Korra fixed her slackened stance. "Now, I want you to close your eyes and really feel the floor beneath you. Seismic sense is extending the web of your awareness of what you can feel right now." Korra took a deep breath and maintained her position. "What do you feel?"

"I…don't know if I'm feeling the right thing."

"Can you feel your heartbeat from the floor? Concentrate on that."

A few moments of near silence passed before Korra said, "I feel it."

"Do you feel anything else? You're not the only one sending vibrations through the floor right now. See if you can feel me, a guard walking outside…"

Korra grimaced. "I can't tell if I'm just imagining it or not."

Kuvira opened her eyes and approached Korra. "Here," she said as she took Korra's hand and laid it over her throat. "This is the rhythm of my heartbeat. Got it?" Korra hadn't moved a muscle, and once she did, Kuvira pulled away. "Try again."

Korra closed her eyes and started to breathe. Kuvira kept her eyes open this time, switching her posture so she was as grounded into the earth as possible.

"I think I feel you. You're a few feet from me."

"Good."

They practiced feeling the vibrations of the earth for a bit longer before Kuvira had Korra open her eyes.

"Now, the motion of this one is one of the easiest earth bending moves you'll learn," Kuvira said as she demonstrated, slamming her foot into the ground.

With just that motion, Kuvira got a clear picture of the room—where she'd left her tweezers on the shelf behind her to where Korra stood—and the guts of the building below her. They kept a pod of general population below her, and she could map out the exact placement of the cells and the people inside.

Korra mimicked the motion, eyes closed. When her eyelids fluttered open, awe was written in her eyes. "That's amazing. I could see you, know exactly what position you were in…"

"Did you feel below?"

Korra repeated the motion. "Yeah. They've got a cell block down there."

"Good. You've got a basic grip on seismic sense for surveillance purposes. But, as well and good as that is, what you need it for is in combat."

"Combat?"

Kuvira exhaled. "Avatar Aang would've died in his battle against Fire Lord Ozai if not for seismic sense. Don't underestimate its power."

"Wait, what're you talking about?"

Kuvira picked up a book off her shelf. "So the White Lotus not only doesn't teach you seismic sense, but they don't teach you about your past lives either."

Korra shrugged, sheepish smile on her face. "I think they figured I could connect with them."

Kuvira tossed her a makeshift blindfold. "Basically, Avatar Aang exited the Avatar State without killing Ozai, leaving him free on a rock pillar. Aang landed with his back turned to Ozai, and Ozai, in his process of attack, sent a vibration through the rock that allowed Aang to sense his attack and block it."

Korra put on the blindfold and assumed a fighting stance. Kuvira started to walk around Korra with the touch she used to use while dancing, knowing Korra would have to try hard to feel her. For a few moments, Korra didn't move with her, and slammed her foot down. Kuvira sensed the vibrations Korra made and dodged Korra's air bending attack while throwing the book at Korra's head.

Korra removed the blindfold and rubbed her head. Kuvira smirked. "Did you feel the vibrations of that one?"

"Yes." Korra winced as she rubbed her head and exhaled. "What happened? How'd you attack me right after I did seismic sense?"

"When you're fighting an earth bending master, especially one that is proficient in seismic sense, you have to keep in mind that I can feel the vibrations you have to make to feel your environment and opponent. To truly master this, you have to be able to use it by feeling the vibrations I make and attacking direct points. You don't find me, you let me lead you to me."

"Okay… So what is that move good for?"

"Surveying an environment. So, for instance, if you ever find yourself in need of assassinating a world leader while they're sleeping, you can use seismic sense and be able to tell if they put someone else in their place."

Korra paused. "Su isn't really good at seismic sense, is she?"

Kuvira rolled her eyes. "She made it too easy." Kuvira rubbed her hands together and picked up the book. "I'm sure you've already mastered neutral jing. Maybe you just haven't recognized it as such."

Korra paused. "Is that some 'true method of earthbending' that everyone said Toph would teach me one day but never did?" Kuvira nodded. "Why didn't I think to ask her when we were in the swamp!"

"You're learning it now and it wouldn't have helped you beat me, so get over it. Like I said before, it's all about waiting for your opponent to reveal his position and attack through the vibrations he sends through the earth. Until you know what they're doing, you do nothing but hold your ground."

"It'd help if you walked with a heavier step."

She supposed it was more advanced for Korra to sense lighter vibrations. "Okay, we'll try that."

Kuvira picked up another book. "I get that you don't have rocks to chuck at me, but do you think you could use something else?"

The only non-threatening objects in the room were the Pai Sho tiles. Kuvira picked them up and Korra put the blindfold back on. At first Kuvira walked with a heavy step, and Korra followed her easily. She lightened her step to a normal walk and started throwing the Pai Sho tiles at her. Korra dodged close to all of them. Kuvira took her dancer's walk, and Korra struggled, but the moment Kuvira had to switch footing for a good shot at Korra, she blocked the tile and sent it right back at Kuvira.

"Nice work. You are a fast learner," Kuvira said.

Korra beamed as she removed the blindfold. "Thanks. One more go?"

Kuvira smiled. "You think we're even close to done for today?"

Korra put the blindfold back on, and Kuvira started moving. It seemed without even speaking that they agreed to an all out sparring match, Korra throwing air bending punches as she discovered Kuvira's positions and Kuvira taking advantage of the furniture to get her advantage. Korra kept up as best she could, but when Kuvira started leaving the ground, she had a harder time dodging blows. The bit of competitive spirit Kuvira still had her utilizing this like mad, turning Korra in circles. Kuvira couldn't say for certain, but it seemed like Korra was actually getting frustrated as time went on.

"Focus, Korra," Kuvira said.

Korra whipped around and sent a blast of air at Kuvira, and she dodged it. But, Korra was smiling now. They exchanged a series of blows and dodges before Kuvira determined her end move. There was another one of those obnoxious history books lying on her table, and a chair facing out. She slid across the floor with the grace of a dance routine and jumped onto the chair. Korra didn't turn to the attack, and Kuvira launched herself off the chair.

In the exact moment the book left Kuvira's fingertips and whizzed towards Korra, Korra turned around and shot an air blast at Kuvira. With the perfect synchronicity of their fight in the Colossus, the air blast threw Kuvira against the wall and the book hit Korra square in the forehead. Both of them went back and crashed back down to the floor with minimal padding.

"Ugh, I thought we agreed that wouldn't happen again," Korra groaned.

The door opened, and not one, but three guards stood outside.

"Is…everything okay in here?" one asked.

Korra looked them right in the eye. "What do you think?"

They exchanged looks and slowly closed the door. Once it was fully shut, the two laughed.

"I would've never seen that sneak attack coming, but last second I felt the chair move and I knew," Korra said.

"You're on your way, Avatar."

Korra rubbed her forehead. "I'm just relieved that you didn't kill me."

* * *

 

Sure, it at had only been three days since Korra had last visited Kuvira, but she figured Kuvira wouldn't mind extra company. Besides, Asami had come to her the night before saying she was finally ready to face and forgive Kuvira for killing Hiroshi, and what kind of girlfriend would Korra be if she didn't try her best to arrange everything as soon as possible? It wasn't hard; playing the Avatar card could still get her a fair amount, and Lin hadn't been sticking around the prison much to tell her no.

Eleven am, and Korra had high hopes for some bonding. She had watched Asami grieve and rant and recover for the past year, and something told her this wouldn't necessarily go smoothly, but it would go well. Kuvira had been expressing a desire to apologize to Asami as well, so there wouldn't even be any conflict. High hopes.

A guard opened the door to Kuvira's cell, but Korra paused.

"Lemme show you something," Korra said to Asami.

Korra closed her eyes, stepped into the cell, and shot her foot into the floor.

"Now, without opening my eyes, and I say that Kuvira left three books out on the table, moved a chair to the wall, left the bathroom door open and…is asleep right now."

Korra opened her eyes and peered in, Asami's awe at Korra's newfound ability second priority.

"Please don't tell me all you do is sleep when I'm not here," Korra commented, knowing Kuvira would've been awakened by now.

As much of a joke as it was, part of Korra was concerned. Did Kuvira just put on a mask of contentment when Korra was around, and went around depressed whenever she wasn't there?

"It's so crazy to think that's my father's killer right there," Asami mumbled to Korra.

Korra shrugged. "Yeah, she's actually kind of normal."

She focused on Kuvira, who still hadn't gotten up, and an idea popped into her head. It wasn't a good idea, but she had to try it. Kuvira was sleeping on her side…

"Up and at em, Sifu Kuvira!" Korra said as she used air bending to launch Kuvira's mattress into the ceiling.

The mattress crashed down onto the bed frame, and Kuvira managed to stay in it, but the blood on the ceiling and oozing onto her hands wasn't exactly encouraging.

"For five years I worked night shifts for Su, when you were kidnapped, I was up for thirty-six straight hours, on the campaign I slept fourteen hours a week, and now you're telling me I can't sleep in _while in prison_ ," Kuvira muttered as she walked to the bathroom, hands and lower half of face red with blood.

Once the door shut, Korra and Asami exchanged a glance. "For the record, I didn't mean for that to happen," Korra said.

"Honestly," Asami's hand went to the back of her neck, "that was the most humanizing thing you could've done to her."

Korra gave her a girlfriend a smile. "She's going to kill me."

At that point, she couldn't tell if she'd improved or vastly hindered the situation, but at least Asami didn't seem as scared as she had on the way over.

* * *

 

Kuvira had been woken up in some unpleasant ways in the past, but having a mattress slam her face up against the ceiling had officially taken the prize. Thank the spirits that it hadn't broken her nose, but the blood didn't stop gushing until she'd turned a light blue hand towel completely red-purple, and had to stand out between Korra and Asami like a kid after having been kicked in the face on the playground.

"You've mastered Su's level of seismic sense, and that's not a compliment," Kuvira said after Korra explained that she thought she sensed Kuvira had been sleeping on her side.

Korra still kept the sheepish smile. "No one ever gained master status after one lesson."

Kuvira rolled her eyes and readjusted the towel. The blood seemed to be tapering off.

"So, I feel like since you two don't technically know each other…" Korra said. Kuvira looked up and made eye contact with Asami; there was something swirling in those eyes, but a part of Kuvira didn't think it was anger. "Kuvira, this Asami, CEO of Future Industries and my girlfriend." So Korra hadn't proposed yet. "Asami, this is Kuvira…my advanced earthbending teacher…what titles are acceptable right now?"

"Prisoner."

"I'm gonna stick with sifu."

Kuvira and Asami shook hands, maintaining eye contact but not quite looking into each other's eyes.

There was a moment where neither of them spoke, and Kuvira wondered if she was supposed to just outright apologize.

"So, I thought this might go off to a rocky start, so since I'm the worst Pai Sho player in the world, maybe it'd be more interesting if you two played," Korra said.

Kuvira and Asami exchanged a glance and nodded.

They set up the Pai Sho board and began playing. Right away, Kuvira could tell that Asami knew how to play Pai Sho. Now, to figure out how much of a tactician she was, or if she was just a good Pai Sho player.

"How old are you?" Asami asked seemingly out of the blue.

At first, Kuvira wasn't sure if Asami was talking to her. "Twenty-five."

"You were really young when they sent you out."

Kuvira made her next move. "You were younger when you took over your father's company, weren't you? It seems age," she glanced at Korra, "doesn't hinder accomplishment."

"It just seems wild that they picked you to do something as huge as stabilizing the Earth Kingdom."

"They were desperate."

It was the first time she'd ever said it out loud. Somehow, it wasn't hurting to shave down her ego as much as it used to. She just couldn't be sure if the self pity was making that happen or a genuine maturation.

The game continued, and for every harmony Kuvira made, so would Asami. Yes, the CEO of Future Industries was very good.

"How long did you live with Su?" Asami asked.

For all Kuvira was learning about Asami's Pai Sho strategy, she couldn't understand why Asami was asking questions. "From age eight until sixteen. When I joined the guard, I lived with a few other female guards until eighteen, then I got my own apartment."

The game continued, harmony for harmony until Kuvira had two harmonies on her and the game was moments from closing.

"When did you start dancing?" Asami asked.

Kuvira almost couldn't come up with an answer. "Twelve…" Asami moved her next piece, securing the closest Pai Sho game Kuvira had ever played into Kuvira's favor. "And I'm lost. The small talk…"

Asami flew to her feet, hands clutched onto the edge of the table. "You're not a person to me. You never have been. All these years, the year after you killed my father…we never interacted once. I don't believe you'd even know who I am if not for Korra. Yet, you took my father from me. And don't tell me that it was anything more than another mosquito you had to squash on your way to conquest. You don't care about the people you killed, and nothing I say will change that. You're…You're the human embodiment of war, and I just—I don't want you to be that. I don't want to know that there are real people out there who take lives like they mean nothing. So yeah, I was trying to humanize you, but I," she sighed, "I can't."

Kuvira knew Korra would've known how to be compassionate and talk Asami down, make her feel better, but Kuvira was just as clueless about Asami as Asami was about her.

All Kuvira could think about was how she had been so devastated when she became an orphan, and had vowed to be a savior to orphans, yet she had turned this woman into an orphan. She didn't even know how many other orphans she had made through the campaign.

If there was any sign of her failure, it was this woman standing in front of her, nearly in tears.

The tears that slid down her own face felt natural.

"I'm sorry for taking your father in my madness," Kuvira said. "I won't forget your father's name. I may have been a murderer, but I'm not a war machine."

"I'm not going to forgive you."

"I don't expect you to. I'd expect it less than from Su or Baatar."

Korra put a hand on Asami's shoulder. "Asami…"

Asami looked away. "At least not yet."

Korra and Asami left with nearly no more words exchanged.

Kuvira didn't know why, but watching them leave, hand in hand, hurt almost as much as realizing what she'd done.

* * *

 

Korra returned a week from their last training session, no flying mattresses or Asami.

"Wanna perfect your seismic sense?" Kuvira asked.

"For the record, I'm still sorry about nearly breaking your face. And uh, I was thinking we could just talk today, at least for a little bit."

"About what?"

Korra sighed. "I know that Asami wasn't the only one hurting when I brought her in. I've talked to her, and she's feeling better, but I know I need to do the same for you. Especially you."

"What do you want to talk about? Asami's right. I was standing there thinking I was helping orphans, thinking I could justify what I did because of the pain I felt, yet I was creating orphans in the process. There's no more heinous a crime than that, and I don't even know the full extent of what bloodshed I caused." Kuvira exhaled. "I just…when I think about it, I don't remember feeling human piloting the Colossus. The way it was built, it made me feel like I was that giant mecha tank. It diminished everything—it turned you guys into ants, those hummingbirds into mosquitos. It wasn't like killing humans. I don't—after I thought I killed Baatar, it was my humanity was stripped away."

She paused. "I understand now, what I did. I think it took seeing what happened to Asami to see it. What I did to the Beifongs—it goes beyond Baatar coming with me. I split a family, pitted mother against son, brother against brother and sister. They didn't want that, they never needed it to go as far as it did. Not only did I capture and imprison Su, but I imprisoned her sons and husband. I nearly let Opal be hit by that spirit cannon. I nearly killed Su's eldest son. It's all so…it's so concrete. I did some horrible things, and I blinded myself to it. I'm an attempted and successful murderer. And seeing Asami, being forced to understand what I was that day, I don't know how to accept that. I hate knowing that people think it was personal for me, or that it still means nothing to me. I just wish," she felt a lump rise in her throat, "I wish I could delete it from existence, make it so it never happened. There's no way I can ever make it up to the people I hurt. It haunts me, knowing that, and it's only gotten worse since that visit from Asami."

Korra took Kuvira's hand. "Redemption and forgiveness aren't any less attainable than they were before you met with Asami. There's just a range of people you hurt and how they process that. Yes, there are people like Su who are so deep in the pain, maybe even in such denial and so comfortable with the hatred that they won't forgive you. But there are also people like Baatar and Asami, who are just too emotional right now, but can come around. And, then, there are people like Bolin and I, people who can work past our own inner demons to see that it isn't all about you, and that you deserve compassion as much as anyone." Korra turned Kuvira's hand over, the scar on her wrist visible. "You've come so far, and I know you can only get better from here. You just have to keep the faith." Korra squeezed Kuvira's hand. "Will you practice with me? I want to be better than Su."

Kuvira smiled. "That won't take much work." Kuvira got up. "I'll admit, that mattress move was kind of genius from a sneak attack standpoint. Who taught you?"

"Tenzin's kids. Ikki made me learn so I could teach her so she could torture Meelo when he acted like a dick to her. It's also supposedly an Aang specialty. Is that in your complete history?"

"They mentioned him having a playful nature, but it was never specific."

"Be happy I'm more Aang than Kyoshi."

As they practiced, Kuvira couldn't fully focus, her mind skipping back to watching Korra and Asami interact. They didn't seem as physical as Kuvira would've expected, but they'd also been dating for a while.

"Did you propose to Asami yet?" Kuvira asked.

Korra's eyes went to the floor, completely out of the form she'd taken while training. "Not yet."

They returned to training.

* * *

 

_The flowers were so much softer this time. They felt familiar, but they weren't, and all Kuvira could feel of them was the touch of a petal as it hit the skin exposed by a cut in her uniform._

_Korra held her in her arms, and Kuvira opened her eyes to see Korra looking over her. Everything hurt, her head was fuzzy, her thoughts close to nonexistent. It was like a perfect security blanket, a perfect happy place that made everything else seem nonexistent. Her happy place used to be dancing in Su's troupe, but like a creature that sees the sun for the first time, this was a true happy place. How had she taken so long to go to the Spirit World?_

_Or be in the Avatar's arms._

_She looked up at Korra, and Korra offered a light smile._

_"We're okay," Korra said._

_Korra pushed a strand of hair out of Kuvira's face, they locked eyes, and it all came at once. Neither could tell who closed her eyes first and leaned in, but their lips met, warm, soft, stinging a bit from battle cuts. Their mouths met without a sound, all pressure and the smooth skin. It felt different. Spirits, it felt different, but Kuvira didn't even know why. All she knew was when mouths opened, she wanted nothing more than to be sucked away._

_I'm in love with you, K—_

Kuvira awoke with a start, a little sweaty, hand resting close to her leg instead of being tucked in, and so horribly lost that she wished she was in a nightmare.

_The guards drugged me tonight. There's no other—_

She pushed the covers off and ran into the bathroom. Turned on the sink, filled it with cold water, and dunked her face into it. The water shocked her awake, blurred the edges of the dream, but it was going to take a while before she could pretend it never existed.

_I'm not gay_ , she thought as she picked up one of the histories off her table.

_I'm not gay_ , she thought as she climbed back into bed and flipped open the book.

_I'm not gay, and I'm definitely not gay for Korra._

_It was just a dream._

_I'm not in love with the Avatar…_

She'd fall back asleep, and that dream, that night, would disappear into the abyss of forgotten memories. Solitary was just getting to her.

_I'm not in love_

 


	13. Raw and Possessed

The second time she woke, Kuvira didn't have any dreams. Rather, she woke up in a dreamlike state, unsure of what to make of the first dream, still so vivid in her mind. Something told her that it shouldn't be so vivid, especially considering how long it had been.

There had to be a logical explanation behind that dream. The guards drugging her wasn't sounding like the best explanation. But, it didn't mean she was developing romantic feelings for Korra. Dreams got weird, and considering her current situation—over a year in solitary confinement not having had romantic interactions since the night before she attacked Republic City—it would only make sense that she was hopelessly sex depraved. Really, it was no different than any other depravation, and she'd gotten herself used to having physical affection at least once a week, even in the icier period with Baatar after the annexation of Yi. Korra was the only other human being that she had close contact with, and her brain was starting to get mixed up. She was just really horny. It was just an off the wall wet dream. It was nothing new.

This time, the subject matter had just gotten a little out of control. It wasn't a big deal, and Kuvira shouldn't be treating it as such. She was straight, through and through. Sure, things had cooled down between her and Baatar in their last few months, but there was never a time when she wasn't attracted to him. It had always been men; wouldn't she have figured it out far before then if she were attracted to girls?

She was just mistaking her deep connection with Korra for romantic feelings. For all that Korra had done for her, maybe "I love you" was beginning to sound like the only words big enough to encompass how grateful she was. They weren't exclusively romantic words, and surely she meant them in a familial or friendship sort of way. Korra had been the first person to listen and understand, and now Kuvira was interpreting that far beyond what it needed to be interpreted as.

She liked men. All this was proving was that once she got out of prison, she'd be going out, getting drunk, and picking up the first decent man she could find.

…In twenty-nine years.

No way she was going to endure these messed up dreams for twenty-nine years. Forget that. It probably wouldn't take much effort to seduce that guard who would ask her how she was whenever he brought her food. Because there were no other options. She wasn't gay, or bisexual or whatever, and Korra was with Asami, even if she had seemed oddly down when Korra asked about the proposal. It was all completely ridiculous. All she needed now was Wu to come in with his singing badger moles and they could all have a sex circus.

The door opened, but it was too early for breakfast. It was the nice guard, Arnav, and Kuvira took extra time to check him out, as if it would cure that dream's messages.

"You have a visitor," Arnav said.

It wasn't Korra; they hadn't even spent one day apart yet.

Kuvira furrowed her brow. "Who?"

And, just like that, in walked Baatar.

He wore the robes he used to wear, back when everything in Zaofu was normal. But, he'd kept the haircut and glasses from the campaign. He didn't smile when he saw her, but his features were soft, his step tentative.

His expression faltered into the tiniest of smiles. "Even in prison, and you still look beautiful."

This couldn't be happening.

Kuvira scowled. "Wanna stop hoarding the furlough?"

He pulled up a chair to her bed. "Trust me, it wasn't easy to get here."

"And why are you here?"

He exhaled. "I should've never tried to end our relationship over a letter. I wanted to make it right."

Looking at Baatar, the emotions coursing through her were clear, and that morning, they weren't positive. This was too sudden to process, and all she could deal with was how angry she was that Baatar not only had gotten on house arrest, but that he had managed to get furlough. Where were guards watching them? They were the former Great Uniter and second-in-command. What if they were planning—

What if…

They were alone.

There weren't guards watching them, this was probably the last time Baatar would ever visit her…

This may be her last chance. The last chance to know for sure…

She bridged the gap Baatar had put between them, lips pressed back to his familiar face. Muscle memory flushed back, and Baatar kissed her back. He kissed her back, but he seemed less like a passioned lover and more like a host fighting a phantom possession, hot and cold as fast as it took their lips to touch and hover and touch again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, tried to keep him from squirming, but he couldn't stay down.

Finally, he managed to pull her away. "What're you doing?"

_I'm not gay_ , she thought, wincing at how  _awful_ she was about to be. She got in close to him, lips just above his, her hands finding a spot on his torso. "When's the last time you were inside a woman?"

"Kuvira, this is…you've never expressed—"

She moved her hands down and under, a light touch on the planes of his chest and abs. "You came here to break up with me, right? Are you really going to deny us the breakup sex?"

Baatar suddenly looked alarmed, eyes all over the room. "We're—"

"Alone. No one's allowed to watch me anymore. And what're they going to do? Give us more time?"

"Kuvira…"

She kissed the spot on his throat he loved. "Let it go, just for a moment."

He exhaled. "I don't know what they've been putting in your water, but I can't say it's without benefits."

Mouths molded together again, hands traveled down, and they stumbled back onto Kuvira's twin bed, sheets covering them, as if they could see past the blinding physical desire to properly remove their clothing. Kuvira tried to sit back and enjoy herself, enjoy this blink of sunlight in her lightbulb world, but it was…different. She could understand Baatar's lack of stamina, his tentativeness, and his verbally expressed fear over getting her pregnant in prison, but it wasn't as…livening as she could even remember from the post-Yi days.

It released tension she hadn't even realized she'd been building up, sure. She scratched up his back, muffled moans with his skin, everything they used to do. But it felt empty, somehow.

It had been passionless.

It had been passionless, and when they first made eye contact as they separated, it reflected from her eyes to his.

"What were you going to say?" she asked as she fixed her hair.

"That, despite," he sighed, "feelings still between us, that you—we deserve better than us."

"You said that in your letters."

"I poured whatever emotion was spewing out of me into those letters. I regretted each one after putting it in the mailbox. I needed to just say it, and give you the respect you deserve and say it to your face."

She looked him up and down; he'd lost some of the muscle tone she'd gotten him while on the campaign, although to his credit, he'd kept more than she would've expected for a Beifong on house arrest. Now that she looked close enough, he had technically kept the haircut she liked, but the hair on the sides of his head was growing back in. She didn't even have to ask to know he was morphing back into Mommy's boy, as if he could slowly erase the three years they'd spent together.

And part of her didn't blame him. Part of her didn't mind.

Part of her was happy to see him move on, and that was the terrifying part.

"You don't need to say it; I know you can't forgive me for what I did to you."

"That's not even it, though. I  _can_ forgive you. I  _want_ to forgive you. But, I just think about what kind of life we'd have together if we did get married, and how can I lie and say it'd be a happy ending? Couples can hardly survive when one of the members cheat. You were willing to  _kill me_  for the Earth Empire. Even if I work through all my problems, convince myself that I can trust you, I can't banish the doubt that you'll sacrifice me again. Just as you can never truly shrug off the blood you shed to unite the empire, I can't shed what happened between us. I've realized that it's not cynical, it's fact. We did monstrous things, and to think we can leave those behind is just unreal. And if I harbor that resentment, what would that mean for our marriage, for our children? There's still a shred of love for you in me, and I can't destroy your dream of being the perfect mother because I'm not the perfect father and husband." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This sounds so awful."

"It doesn't, Baatar. You sound like you care."

He reached his hand out, took hers, but the hold was so light. The sparks that used to fly, the way her heartbeat used to pick up…it was just gone. His words were resonating with her, she still cared deeply for the man in front of her, but there wasn't love there anymore.

"You didn't trust me with so much," Baatar said, his voice softening. "Korra came to me and talked about what you two discussed in the Spirit World, about how you felt after your parents left you. I thought I understood you more than anyone, and hearing that from Korra was like a punch in the gut. It made me wonder if love could really exist if there was so little trust between us. I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you."

"Baatar, it's not your fault. I treated you like dirt after the annexation of Yi, and you deserve better."

"I'm never going to find someone like you. Someone who will believe in me the way you did."

"But you will find love. You've suffered enough for at least that."

They unhooked their hands and gazed into each other's eyes.

"I left the ring with the guards. They said they'd keep it with your personal effects for when you're released."

"Go sell it and give the money to an orphanage."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

He kissed her cheek, and got to his feet. "I probably won't see you until we're released." He offered a weak smile. "Mother's caving. Don't be surprised if she contacts you."

They hugged, long and tender, but cold.

As she watched him go, something told her that it'd be the last time she ever saw him. It felt heavier than that, though, like him leaving also meant she'd lost Zaofu and the twenty-one years she dedicated to the city. This was real; she'd really just broken off her engagement and he'd be returning to her hometown while she never would. When she got out of prison, she'd have to find a new home, new loved ones.

A new home, at least.

Well, at least she could go about the day knowing she wasn't repulsed by males; the dream was fading away.

She hoped.

* * *

"I'll be honest," Korra said as she held a pen off the ground with air bending. They'd finished training for that day, and found themselves lounging around the cell, "I may bust you out of prison early just so I can learn those advanced metalbending moves. Seismic sense is awesome and all, and I may have finally found someone besides Mako to teach me real lightning bending, but I'm dying to be a metalbending master."

"Yeah, and I'd love to wield the power of lightening. Count your blessings."

"Fire might be great in battle, but when it comes to other practical usage, it's definitely below water and earth."

"And air?"

"Air is good for flying, fighting, and not much else. I mean, benders like you and Amon gained grace and quickness on your feet from means other than airbender training. All I'm saying is that you don't want to trade elements."

"Never said I wanted to. It'd just be useful to have lightening bending."

"Although, in a fight between you and, say, Princess Azula as she descends into madness, I think you'd win. Those metal strips you worked with are so fast, and it takes time to produce lightening for an execution shot."

"Are benders nowadays even strong enough to kill with lightening? Don't they teach factory workers to wield it for power plants? Laughable compared to what the Royal Family once did."

"Sometimes, I think about what it must've been like to be in a world so divided by element. I mean, even with your Earth Empire, you still allowed water and fire benders into your army."

All those stupid decisions, the ones that made zero sense even months after their execution, returned. All that so-called elemental cleansing. Part of her wasn't even sure if it was her idea, or to what extent it became a part of operations. Had she really only allowed earthbenders into her army and taken away the rights of non-earthbenders even if they were Earth Empire citizens? That wasn't possible. Even in her power-drunk state, that wouldn't have made sense. It had to have been a coincidence that mostly fire and water benders had been sent to re-education camps. Perhaps they were newer to living in Earth Kingdom land, and didn't understand the need for order the way the longer standing Earth Kingdom citizens did—

"My bender diversity was scarce. Don't push it."

"But, anyway, I just like to think that all you guys—Amon, Unalaq, Zaheer, you—would've fought against the Fire Lord. Like, given a threat bigger than your own goals, you would've stayed on the righteous path." She paused. "Maybe not Unalaq…No, I think he would've defended the North Pole."

"Well, if Fire Lord Izumi decides to invade the United Republic and take it under another hostile Fire Nation takeover, you'll have to call Zaheer and I into action. And Amon, assuming he's alive, whatever little chance that is."

Korra laughed. "I really ought to try to find Amon and Tarrlok one day. He's…technically one of the most powerful benders on the planet." She switched positions, now maddeningly closer to Kuvira. "But yeah, I can see you springing into action."

"Y'know, if you'd asked, I would've followed you into battle far before the Red Lotus and Laghima's Peak."

No, she had to stop. She was close enough to Korra that a few position changes could put them inches from one another, and she was practically admitting devotion.

"Really? That…means a lot." Korra paused. "I kinda wish Su had introduced you to me when I first saw your dance recital or the first time we saw you while on duty. I would've invited you to join Team Avatar." Korra smiled. "I could've used a traveling metal bending teacher."

Kuvira smiled. "Su would've killed you."

Korra's smile turned to a mischievous smirk. "I don't play the card too often, but there would've been the fact that I'm the  _Avatar_."

"Whatever you say."

Korra crossed her arms. "I mean, I could probably grab you and have sex with you in that bed right there and no one would say a word."

There was a long time in which Kuvira basked in how red that comment made her, and how horribly enticing, confusing, awful that sounded. It felt like Korra was teasing her, but if she felt that way, didn't that mean she wanted it to be real? This was agony. This was—

This wasn't referring to her and Korra.

"Who told you?" Kuvira asked, words coming out as slow as she was thinking them.

"That would be Arnav. Before you plan on killing him, he only told me because I made him. He was blushing when I mentioned your name."

Kuvira considered asking if Arnav had been watching, but she was paralyzed in humiliation at that point. It had been such a sloppy, desire-driven moment; she couldn't even lie and say they'd made beautiful love one last time. She cringed thinking how he'd describe it to other people, even if she knew he never would.

"Do you blame me?" Kuvira said as she rubbed her eye.

Korra laughed. "No, I really don't. I mean, like I said, I just see you and Baatar Jr. as a cold entity, so that's all I got. I mean, I just wanna hear that you're happy because of whatever happened. Lin was telling me how he begged, practically protested just to get the opportunity to talk to you in person. I think it's fair to assume you were nice to him."

It would take Kuvira a long time to realize it, but she needed Korra treating the whole thing as a joke more than she would've believed otherwise.

"It wasn't my best moment, and I hope I didn't hurt him. I know I shocked him, but I really do want him to be happy. I don't know. Is it bad that I was okay when we left each other? I hate to think I didn't love him the way he loved me."

Korra shrugged. "It's hard when you get together with people when they're emotionally fragile. It makes you seem more like a protector or therapist than a significant other. As much as Asami doesn't want to admit it, I'm a huge comfort to her, and I'm sure Baatar viewed you as his savior in some regards. And, honestly, I know you have a million times more romantic experience than me," Kuvira gave her a look, "but I don't think you should feel guilty if you fall out of love first. It's not like you were trying to hurt him." She paused. "Did you two talk at all? I feel like he got out of prison to talk, not get one last screw."

Spirits,  _screw_ was such an ugly word in that moment. "He just told me that his ultimate decision to end our engagement was because he didn't want to give me a marriage and family in which he could potentially harbor resentment and distrust of me because of what happened in Republic City. Honestly, I don't think he could've put it in kinder terms."

Korra smiled. "I'm glad he was good to you. You've been knocked around quite a bit lately; you deserve a break."

"Come on, Korra. I don't think I deserve much of a break. Not after only a year. I literally caused more than a year's worth of suffering."

"If you start throwing yourself a pity party, I'll give you a reason to throw yourself a pity party, Sifu Kuvira."

"So you're the reason my last few moments with Su and Lin were spent dry heaving, much to the agony of my already broken ribs?"

Korra laughed. "I think I'll shift the blame onto Su and Beifong for that one. Although now you've got me wondering what exactly they did to you after they walked you off."

Kuvira got into lotus position and looked away. "It was pathetic."

Korra unrolled from the ball she'd gotten into, her body facing Kuvira, head less than a foot from her lap. "You know I like stories."

_Kuvira didn't think this kind of pain could exist in the physical world, or any world, rather. It was like leaving Korra's embrace had ripped a limb out of its socket, leaving her misshapen, overwhelmed, and in inhuman pain. She had to be strong when she surrendered, and had vouched to walk. Right away, though, it was clear that she couldn't walk without a fire of pain engulfing her abdomen, and leaving Korra, leaving the only person who understood how hurt she was, was half the battle. Lin put a hand on Kuvira's arm, but she was still supporting her own weight, hands forced at her front._

_They walked. Spirits above, they walked a long way, all the way to Raiko's base of operations at Air Temple Island. It took a while, maybe halfway through the walk to the harbor, but Lin picked up on Kuvira's agony, and tried to slow down the pace, but Su was oblivious, glaring back at Kuvira when her pace lagged._

_"_ _Hurry up," Su would bark._

_"_ _She's injured, Su. Unless you're giving me permission to hoist her over my shoulder, this is how fast we're going."_

_They put her on a small motor boat, something that probably belonged to the Air Acolytes._

_It really took that first jolt of the boat to realize the extent of her injuries. The pain was unrelenting, unfamiliar, sickening even. She nearly toppled over without her arms for support and her mind too focused on the pain to shift her weight properly. She stopped herself by a firm placement of her foot, but it took a few seconds gritting her teeth through the pain to return to sitting up properly._

_"_ _What hurts?" Lin asked._

_Su drove the boat, and didn't so much as flinch from the question._

_Kuvira struggled to find words. "It's nothing. Right side. Ribs, probably."_

_"_ _Underestimating will get you nowhere."_

_Lin helped her off the boat, and it seemed like each new terrain they faced—the steps to get off the boat, the hike to the main buildings—was a new level of pain, somehow worse than the one before. By the time she reached the top, she felt faint, but there was no way she could collapse now._

_Raiko and his bodyguards eyed her as they entered his base of operations. Lin dropped her off onto a couch and set a pillow in her lap. She didn't know what to do, but left it where Lin put it._

_"_ _She's all that's left, or are her soldiers still here?" Raiko asked._

_She hadn't thought about her soldiers in what felt like years. Those bright eyed young men and women, so loyal, such hard fighters, such big hearts… Spirits, she didn't even know what happened to them after the Colossus blew up. She'd been far away from the blast, relatively speaking, and she probably had a couple ribs sticking in her lungs, so how had they faired? Masaru, the pilot working with her in the Colossus, had been with her since he was eighteen, one of her original Zaofu guards who had stuck with her…_

_"_ _An airship is on the way to escort her to prison…Should be here momentarily…" Raiko said, although Kuvira didn't catch every word._

_Masaru was dead, his body probably still smoldering in the rubble, along with the other engineers on the Colossus. If no one recovered them, the spirits would pick them apart._

_Just like Baatar… Just like her sweet Baatar, who she could only spend her life hoping had died happy, life gone before he realized the heinous, heinous crime she committed against him._

_"_ _We'll take her," Lin said._

_Lin pulled Kuvira back to her feet, igniting the pain again. She tried it ignore it, but the way Lin had gotten her to her feet had added a wave of dizziness into the mix. They walked forward, giving her no time to recover. Each step she took, a new patch of black dotted her vision._

_Lin stopped suddenly as the airship came into view. Her whole body lurched forward, but she could only feel it in her stomach._

_Baatar was dead, Masaru, her engineers, her soldiers, her people, all for nothing._

_She looked up and saw Su's face, the face of the mother of the man she'd killed for a tainted dream that had just been squashed like a bug._

_And now all Kuvira would be would be a murderess._

_Despite every stab of pain in her side, she leaned forward and threw up. She hadn't eaten since entering the Colossus, so little more than water and bile escaped her lips. Unable to move her hands, her vomit splashed mostly onto her gloves. Sprinkles made it to hers and Su's shoes. Tears slid down her face in thick streams as her body tried to expel the poison only her mind could truly drive out. And spirits, her ribs were beyond the point where she could say the pain burned. It was like being destroyed from the inside out; she could imagine cracks growing deeper, bone burrowing into flesh._

_"_ _Lin, what the hell's wrong with her?" Su said._

_"How should I know? I haven't been with her the whole time and it's not like s_ _he's my_ kid _!"_

_Kuvira sucked in a desperate lungful of air between heaves, and it only shot a new avalanche of pain through her ribs. Through the tears, though, she saw Su's face. No one had ever looked as disgusted, as hateful as Suyin Beifong in that moment. "She's not mine either."_

_The heaving and retching formed into sobs, lip trembling, teeth chattering weeping that she couldn't hold back anymore. It was as if all those years of mind over matter had taken its toll, and all that was left was her body failing her in every way possible. She told herself the tears were from the pain in her ribs, which was enough for tears from even the toughest of soldiers, but she knew the truth._

_Two White Lotus guards came to collect her. One guard didn't acknowledge her beyond a disgusted face at her appearance, but the other seemed less so._

_"_ _You've taken quite a beating today, Great Uniter," she said._

_There wasn't any sarcasm in the comment, but just hearing the words Great Uniter almost made her vomit again._

_The only reason she managed to wipe away the tears with the shedding of her uniform was a guard coming in and informing her that there had been no casualties within Kuvira's army, that everyone had been captured safe and sound._

The eager expression Korra had adopted when the story began had since become somber.

"Did Su really say that, even after seeing you so vulnerable?" Korra asked, barely above a whisper.

"It's water under the bridge. She was hurt that day. Baatar seemed hopeful that Su would talk to me one day."

Korra sighed. "I can work with you all I want, but you're never going to fully forgive yourself without talking to Su, are you?"

"I don't know."

In retrospect, that story was humiliating, and part of her couldn't believe that she had told Korra. The other part, the stronger part, incidentally, was happy she had. Baatar had been right; she hadn't been willing to open up to him, but it was so easy to do so with Korra. A blink of unease settled in her gut as she considered the idea that Korra did this for everyone

( _that after she talked to Asami, how she'd kiss her for comfort_ )

and that she was just another victim for the Avatar to help.

"Do you do this for everyone?" Kuvira asked.

"Do what?"

Korra had gone to sitting up by this point, still close, looking at Kuvira head on. Not too close, though.

"Listen to people, give advice and support?"

"I mean, I guess I do. But, well…at the same time, I don't think I do."

"You must for Asami."

It came out with more venom than she could bear to accept.

Korra didn't notice.

"I did earlier on, but lately, it's been less. I guess it's natural considering she's feeling better." She paused. "I hate to say I'm going to miss being needed." Korra smiled, and took Kuvira's hand. "I'll always have you, though. You're always upset about something."

_Do you love Asami?_

She could feel the question itching at the back of her throat like vomit, and willed herself to take control, if for long enough to finish this session with Korra.

_I had sex with Baatar, and enjoyed it. We grew apart. It doesn't mean one love has been replaced with another._

"I'm not always upset," Kuvira countered.

_Even if I do trust her more than I have anyone._

"Be real, Sifu. You'll be upset until Su admits she did something wrong."

_It doesn't mean anything…_

"What am I supposed to do if Su never comes around?"

_Then why do I care about her and Asami?_

"I can help you find other ways to forgive yourself through others' forgiveness. That's what this is about, I'm betting, deep down. We could meditate together next visit, and I'm sure, with some practice, we could reach the Spirit World. It's a start."

_Why else would that sound like heaven?_

"Sounds nice."

Korra smiled. "The Spirit World is great. I've made so many new spirit friends since the new portal."

_Why would I love having her so close?_

"Training for each of us, I suppose."

It was why she hadn't felt the spark with Baatar. It was why she was so okay with ending her engagement. It was why she let Korra touch her, visit her, talk to her, listen to her, care for her…

"Yup. Hey, I have a meeting with Tenzin and the other world leaders over the Earth Kingdom elections, so I have to go. I'll see you next week."

Korra offered her one last smile and squeeze of Kuvira's hand, and Kuvira couldn't take her eyes off the Avatar. It was as if it were beyond her control, like magnets, like a force beyond herself.

It was so ridiculous. Korra had been doing that nearly since the moment they left the Spirit World. It was no different. Nothing had changed.

Nothing had changed, except for the fact that Kuvira was undeniably obsessed with Korra.

( _not in love with_ )

Not…not really, anyway.

Not completely.

Not…Not sure.

Not sure how ridiculous it  _really_  was.


	14. Primal Feelings

Kuvira had been awake for a while when the breakfast tray and newspaper slid through the slit in the bottom of her cell's door.

"Arnav?" Kuvira said as she pulled the tray in, slit still open.

The slit shut, and the door opened, revealing the young guard. He reminded her of Hong Li, one of the sweetest guards she'd had on her force before leaving Zaofu. Just a little. She had never gotten him to admit it, but she knew he was the guard who was always on duty while she showered. Not so innocent after all.

"What's up?" Arnav asked.

"Thanks for keeping quiet about Baatar and I."

If he seemed like he had blackmail in his head, she'll quell it right then. Arnav smiled. "No problem."

Kuvira creased her brow, his tone far too casual for what they were talking about. "Why didn't you intervene or tell your superiors?"

Arnav's eyes went to the floor. "I uh, I panicked while it was going on. Afterwards," he cleared his throat, "I don't know, I didn't really see what it'd accomplish. It'd risk them taking away your visitation rights, and that seemed cruel, especially considering how much you love Avatar Korra—"

"I don't love Korra," she said automatically.

Arnav smiled. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I've been on shift for at least half of your visits since you got here, and it's pretty obvious. I think she likes you too. Anyway, I didn't want you to lose that. I mean, at the very least, by the time you figured out that I was the narc, you'd find some way to kill me. But, like I said, it was mostly because it felt like cruel and unusual punishment."

Kuvira still wasn't convinced the whole "love" thing was real, but it did feel weird to hear Arnav, as ill-informed as he was, say that Korra liked her back. And, if Kuvira were honest, if Korra wasn't dating Asami, she might've believed that Korra did have a crush on her. After all, why else would Korra come week after week for as long as she had? In a way, it was hard to believe that their relationship was platonic, but Kuvira was also growing increasingly convinced that she was losing her mind in solitary.

She eyed Arnav, the thought of seducing him crossed her mind, but it was out as soon as the thought manifested. It was bad enough that she'd convinced Baatar to have sex with her, and all this was just masking the fact that she craved Korra's company. Was there still a chance that it was human contact in general? Yes, but there were also no other humans who wanted to visit her, or that she wanted to visit her. The answer to that would always be Su.

She considered asking Korra if any of the airbenders wanted to stop by, but really, there was no way to ask that without sounding desperate.

"You're a hero," Kuvira finally said. "I just wanted to say that. You can go back to work."

He took a step towards the door. "For the record, I always believed in your cause. I could never pass health tests to get into the Earth Empire army, and I'm ecstatic to finally serve you, Great Uniter."

His words sent a chill through her bones, like she was coming down with the flu.

"I'm not the Great Uniter," she replied. "I'm a war criminal serving my time. Don't get any ideas."

"It's only gotten worse since you were thrown in here. You're almost lucky to be in here, where order is part of the business. People are beginning to realize that Prince Wu hasn't accepted his leadership position and that there's still a vacuum of power. The only difference between now and after the Earth Queen died is that there's a royal figure who can stand in front of microphones and lie."

"I'm sorry you're dissatisfied with the current state of things," as was she, "but I refuse to take back a position of power. It's dangerous. If Prince Wu or any of the other world leaders want my help, I'll give it, but otherwise, I'm here. I appreciate your support during my campaign, but it didn't work out, and we both need to move on."

His expression suddenly got somber. "You can't just give up."

"I haven't. If I ever want to begin to help my nation, I have to find balance. Until then, this conversation never happened. Especially considering where we are, hearing anyone working close to me is a former Earth Empire supporter, you could end up in a cell next to me."

With that, Arnav left, and Kuvira sure didn't feel as weightless as she had hoped thanking the young guard would make her.

* * *

She focused that week on conditioning and dancing, the ability to work for and admire the muscle she'd built up one of the few non-human-interaction actions keeping her sane. She liked having a personal accomplishment to be proud of, especially in this endless sea of guilt and self-hate. Of course, there was no one to admire her, but she often found herself exercising in just a bra and pants so she could watch the muscles ripple and harden as she worked. Especially since no one watched her anymore, it didn't feel invasive.

On core day, Kuvira found herself treated with a visitor.

For a moment, she and Lin held eye contact, Kuvira instantly convinced she wasn't going to blush because her distant Su-adopted aunt found her nearly half naked.

"I feel like this is just something dancers generally do," Lin commented as she closed the door behind her.

Kuvira sat up and shrugged. "If you gave me a lighter weight shirt, maybe we'd have a different story."

Lin took a seat. "Walk around in your underwear all day for all I care. You're in solitary; it's not like you'd be disturbing the other inmates."

"Going soft, Chief?" Kuvira said as she pulled her shirt back on.

"They're not my rules. This prison has its own fool running operations from behind the scenes. I was just assigned to act as liaison between the prison and Earth Kingdom and United Republic officials."

"So what's brought you here today?"

"Before we get to that—everything good here? No more suicidal thoughts, manic episodes, anything like that?"

_You mean besides me being half-convinced that I may be attracted to girls?_

"No. The worst it gets is when I have to think about how boring it is here."

"Prison isn't meant to be enjoyable, kid."

Kuvira felt a smile twitching in her lips, but kept a straight face. It was so close to the Beifong love she had always craved as a kid, hearing Lin call her "kid."

Kuvira crossed her arms. "Must've missed the memo." She looked back to Lin, who wasn't making any jumps to fill the silence. "By the way, thanks for not," she paused, "treating me like shit after I was captured."

Lin smiled. Like, genuinely smiled, even if there was some cocky, amused edge to it. "Aside from keeping each other alive, Su and I will remain on polar opposite stances about nearly everything. She was letting her emotions get the better of her that day. I would've done it for anyone." Typical; taking the personal angle out of the situation. "Even vaguely adoptive nieces turned dictators."

In the few weeks that Lin had stuck around Zaofu before Kuvira left, she and Lin had seen each other a few times, and Lin had formally introduced herself. They'd talked pretty casually, exchanging stories and tips regarding law enforcement/protection, and Kuvira had mentioned how Su had taken her in as a child. Lin had expressed skepticism over Su's parenting methods, including her having not introduced her to Kuvira at all (even on their mission to save the airbenders), but Kuvira had figured there was still some generally sisterly disapproval that came from being rivals as growing up. Knowing that Lin still thought Su had been a bad parent was incredible.

"I can't fathom why you'd accept me as distant family when you only knew me in adulthood; at least Su has to remember a child when she says I'm not family."

Lin shifted in her seat. "Now that I've had some time to look over the entire Earth Empire situation, the problem wasn't solely you; the world leaders should've stepped in years before, kept a closer eye on you. It's like giving a child who desperately needs guidance a few pieces of wood, some nails, and a hammer and telling him to go build a house. You had no political or military training, and were lucky that you adapted your methods to work with the Earth Kingdom's landscape. I blame the world leaders up until you started building that weapon. After that, you were asking for your own demise. Long story short, I don't think you're a psychotic tyrant, unlike some people I work with."

"I'm not sure how to respond to the backhanded compliment."

"Thank you will do."

"Thank you." Kuvira paused. "In all honesty, how many times did you consider throwing me onto your back and swinging to Air Temple Island?"

"Five. Su didn't help. If you weren't injured, I would've full force thrown you into her within the first few minutes. You would've deserved it, and it would've gotten her to shut up."

Kuvira chuckled. "I would've taken that over the eight broken ribs any day."

"The universe gave you quite the beating that day. Might as well be one of the reasons I don't hate you now."

"You don't…hate Su, do you?"

Lin gave her a look. "Of course not. I don't approve of her parenting methods and how much of a hypocrite she is for getting Baatar Jr. on house arrest but doing nothing for you, but I still love her. There're always going to be parts of your loved ones that you can't stand, but it doesn't mean you abandon them all together."

That one hurt more than Kuvira expected, especially when she went with the vein of thought that Korra was the closest thing to a loved one, and she was just an Avatar being over-generous with her time with her former foe.

"Don't look at me with the sad orphan face. Raiko's office is ready to burst at the seams with the confiscated letters from your supporters and insane fans and Su's coming to visit you next week."

For a stretched moment, Kuvira only heard the first part, and nearly shot back that her supporters weren't her family, but then she heard the bit about Su.

Even if on the inside Kuvira's mind was exploding with joy, all she felt externally was shortness of breath and chills.

"Are you going to be sick again?" Lin said in complete deadpan.

"Why is Su coming to visit me?"

"She wants to talk. Didn't give me any more information than that."

Did it have something to do with Baatar's visit? But, if it was Su coming to yell at her for having seduced her son one last time, why bother showing up? An angry letter could accomplish that, and surely Baatar mentioned the breaking off engagement part, not the sex part. Su—no, it wasn't because of Baatar. So what else did that leave? Sure, she'd sent Su a couple rage and pain filled letters over the past year or so, but Su hadn't made any effort to contact her. Why now?

Lin wasn't just pulling her chain, was she?

No, Lin didn't do that.

"Oh," she said.

Lin got up. "That's all I had to say. Go back to exercising; your sensitivity is showing."

Lin got her one last smile out of Kuvira, and she went back to exercising.

If only it'd solve all her problems.

* * *

"…And of course it's stupid, but I just—I can't imagine anything good coming from this," Kuvira said during her next meeting with Korra.

"Okay, I'm still back at the part where you haven't eaten or slept since Lin told you this," Korra interjected.

It had technically only been a day and a half, so Kuvira hadn't found those details to be problems quite yet.

"That's not the point, Korra."

"Of course it's the point! Didn't this exact thing happen when you refused to read that letter from Baatar? And didn't that turn out fine?"

"That's when he broke up with me out of logic."

"Yeah, and didn't he just officially end your engagement out of logic and you were  _fine with it_?"

"It's different with Su. Baatar at least had clouded his hatred with his love and nearly three years of associating pre, during, and post-sexual satisfaction and intimacy with me, and it still took him a year to say what he wanted to say without the hatred slanting it. All I have with Su are eight years living with her and another five serving her. If she can't see me as anything more than a protege, she'll never be able to separate the Great Uniter from me."

"And what does it hurt to hear what she has to say?"

Kuvira's stomach knotted, and she seriously considered not telling Korra. But, spirits, she'd already told Korra so much and maybe a crazy part of her thought that Korra liked being confined in as much as Kuvira liked confining in her.

"I'm scared of what will happen if she rejects me again," Kuvira said, barely above a whisper. Korra leaned in. "I'll admit that the time I cut myself, I wasn't  _really_ suicidal, but the longer I've been in here, the more I think it may have been an unconscious reason that I did what I did. And, well, truth is, I have felt suicidal through this whole prison sentence. It was after the mess with Su and Lin, I had barely managed to walk with the guards into the cage, and there was a moment while we were on the bridge that led to the cell, and I considered jumping. That was one of the worst feelings of my life, and I feel like every interaction I've had with Su since my surrender has been just as bad. I just…I don't want to feel that way anymore."

"And you fear that encountering Su again will bring it back. Confirm that for as far as you've come, you're not balanced yet."

There really was something incredible about how Korra had become so synched with Kuvira's feelings and thoughts. It was the type of thing Kuvira didn't think was actually possible, something that seemed to be beyond even what married couples could do. She'd certainly never had it with Baatar; she could read him very well, but he could never do the same.

"Well, here's my best advice: listen to what Su has to say, and if she continues to be horrible to you, I'll be here for you. I can't control Su, but you don't have to be helpless as you try to mend things with her." Korra paused. "If you want, I can try to be here and come check up on you afterwards."

Kuvira crossed her arms. "I'm sure you have something better to be doing."

Korra put a hand on Kuvira's shoulder. "I don't, and I know how important this is to you. I promised you that I'd be here for you, and I will."

The knot began to loosen inside her. "I'd like that."

Korra smiled and patted Kuvira's hand. In the process of looking up to make eye contact with Korra, Kuvira got a glance of Korra's chest and the muscle exposed by her short sleeves. It would've been embarrassment in the making, but Kuvira also realized that Korra seemed to be doing the same thing to her.

"This is going to sound weird for a few minutes, but could you roll up your shirt? I need to check something…" Korra said. Kuvira did as told with the only questioning being a furrowed brow. Korra looked her bare midriff and nodded. "Sorry, I just went on a weekend trip to Ember Island with Asami, Mako, and Bolin, and Bolin spent the entire trip convinced that I was inhuman for having a six pack because I'm a girl. I figured with how much you exercise and being a dancer and all that you'd be able to fuel my argument."

"Yeah…"

She rolled down her shirt, thoughts off to questioning why on earth Korra would go to Ember Island, one of the most romantic spots in the world, with Mako and Bolin as well as Asami.

"Did you have a nice time?" Kuvira asked as she scooted back into a friendly distance with Korra.

"Yeah, it was fun. We did a lot of stuff together, and I was happy to have more time with Mako and Bolin." She paused. "Just because I practically live with Asami and you know…"

"Of course."

Seemed like the first step to one of them wanting more space, but Kuvira shouldn't go into it. It was none of her business, even if Korra had wedged her way into Kuvira's personal life.

"Oh, by the way, I'm not taking your starvation crap," Korra said.

Kuvira watched as Korra picked the bowl of since cooled noodles and used airbending to propel it over to Kuvira. She caught the bowl, but the force also managed to knock half the noodles and all of the broth onto Kuvira. It had been ramen, not just noodles. There was nothing to do but give Korra an unamused frown and push the noodles back into the bowl. Korra wasn't blushing, but the clenched jaw and wide eyes said enough.

"Was that scalding?" Korra asked.

Kuvira's best response was to flick some of the broth onto Korra.

* * *

Su walked into Kuvira's cell four days later, as she danced. Even facing away from the door, Kuvira could tell it was Su that walked in, having perfected her seismic sense enough to recognize certain presences. With such, she could feel Su's breath hitch if just for a moment.

Kuvira stopped dancing, took a deep breath, and turned around. She couldn't be sure what she expected to see, but Su looked the exact same she had as Kuvira reached adulthood. She held a stack of letters in one hand, and didn't have hatred screwed into her features.

"I have to admit, I didn't expect to see you like this," Su said. "Especially not after hearing Lin's reports; she seems to have a new attempted suicide report every month."

"If you're here to investigate my health and brush me off, please leave now."

Su took a seat. "I'm not." She set the letters onto the table. "Come sit."

Kuvira took the seat opposite Su and resisted resting her eyes onto the letters. She knew they weren't hers; she'd only written Su twice, and that pile contained at least six letters.

"I know you don't like fluff, so I'll just get down to it," Su said. "This is not an invitation back to Zaofu, and I still don't know to what extent I'll ever be able to forgive you. So long as I still see the Great Uniter in you, I don't think I ever will be able to forgive you. Your betrayal has shaken me, and I don't know how strong I am, if I can get past that. After I had Baatar Jr. back, I tried my hardest to never forgive you for what you did, but I've slowly come to realize that in not forgiving you, I would never have to acknowledge the part I played in what happened to you. And no, I'm not talking about you leaving Zaofu. I'm talking about," she sighed, "I'm talking about what led you to believe that stabilizing the Earth Kingdom was a direct response to your own abandonment.

"When I took you in, I never intended for it to be permanent. I thought we'd be able to find your parents, and when we learned that they'd disappeared, Baatar and I sat down and talked over all our options, including having another family in Zaofu adopt you, but something came over me. Call it selfish, and I won't disagree, but I think I kept you because I wanted to perpetuate this idea that I took in wounded birds, that I was doing good with my life, making up for everything I'd done as a teenager. I thought I could turn your life around, give you a home, let your natural bending talents take you to new heights. At first, it was so easy to treat you like one of my own; you needed me, just like any kid. You never caused problems, and let me become a better version of myself. I saw you, and I thought you were happy. I was…so oblivious that I thought you weren't affected by your abandonment. I thought that you saw me as a mentor, not as a mother, and that I was safe to do the same."

"How could you think a child would view the woman housing, feeding, clothing, and nurturing her as anything other than a mother?"

"Of course I didn't think that when you were a child, but when you got older, when you moved out so young to join the guard—"

"I joined the guard so early because you were already shutting me out of the family. Don't try to tell me that you began to see me as a protege after I moved out."

Su exhaled. "As you grew older, I saw your independence and bending prowess as a sign that you didn't need a mother anymore, and I began to focus my energy on your training rather than nurture. It was my first major mistake with you."

"It started earlier than that," Kuvira said. "I still remember the days it was at its worst. When Toph came, and you didn't invite me to join in dinner or training with her, and she had to find me and decided to train me herself. When you didn't include me in family portraits, when you didn't introduce me to visitors, when you'd celebrate every one of your children's littlest accomplishments, but when I became a metalbending master, all I got was a pat on the shoulder. I was fifteen, and that was all I got for something even  _Toph_ said was impressive. I was surprised that I didn't try to run away, beg for your attention through more dangerous methods. How could you have not been aware of that the whole time?"

"I was far from the perfect mother, and you have to understand that I am listening to you. I'm sorry that I didn't try years before this. When you left Zaofu and became that monster, it was so easy to pretend you had never been a part of my life, and when you tried to apologize to me…It was like we weren't even in reality that day. The giant mecha tank, you shooting Baatar Jr., using that metal monster to kill people, opening up the Spirit Portal—I was far from clearheaded, and I responded with all the negativity we'd built up between us. We should've sat down like this a long time ago, and I'm beginning to think that you even had this idea before I did."

Kuvira tightened her jaw. "What're you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how I believe you wanted my forgiveness, even to the point where you began to lash out more when I stood my ground against you and Baatar Jr."

"It was about the Earth Kingdom, not you. I never—"

"Don't you remember, Kuvira? You said you wouldn't invade Zaofu unless I bowed to you. Specifically me. Opal told me how you would make other towns swear their alliances, and alliances depended upon signed contracts, and bowing was just something they did. You didn't go to that extreme, wouldn't have stood the twins and I up there for everyone to bow to the Great Uniter if I hadn't tried to kill you." Su paused. "You don't have to pretend anymore. I understand how much I hurt you."

Kuvira never thought she would feel the pain Su had caused her that night again. When it had actually happened, when she stared down Su with a metal cable around Zhi Li, the pain had bubbled in her chest, but she'd grown so disciplined and cold that she could dismiss it. She had chipped it away with anger and petty actions and a focus on her goals, a cockiness when everything was going right. But, sitting here, none of that mattered, and the pain was back. She swallowed back tears, in some strange attempt to still seem strong to Su.

"Was I really no better than a diseased animal to you, that you thought the only solution was to execute me?"

Su took a deep breath. "It was a mistake that…that's been haunting me more recently."

She'd only considered murdering her adoptive daughter as a problem  _recently_? Forget how Su couldn't have seen Kuvira's dark side coming; how had _Kuvira_ never seen Su's dark side until now?

Kuvira snorted. "What's changed?"

Su shifted. "Do you remember while we were waiting for the airship to take you to the holding prison and you threw up on us?"

"Unfortunately."

"I don't know if you were aware, but you looked up at me, and it changed things. You didn't look up with embarrassment or the physical agony you were going through, you looked at me the way a suffering child looks up at her mother desperate for comfort. And, I think it's safe to say you were far from emotional manipulation at that point. That moment was the first time that it hit me, when I realized that you never stopped viewing me as a mother, deep down."

"Then why do I remember nothing but disgust and hatred in your face in that moment?"

Su's eyes went to the table's surface. "I was afraid of what would happen if you saw me falter. And, well, it wasn't like I stopped being hurt and angry at you just because you were in such a vulnerable state. It was wrong of me, I know, but I masked it."

"Why did you have to speak, after I was arrested? All I could have ever asked is that you'd have just said nothing that walk to the airship. Given me hope…"

"I'm sorry that it took me so long to understand how you felt about me. I'm not going to deny that it would've made things so much easier." She paused. "I just can't believe that through everything that happened between us, you still viewed me as a mother."

"Who else would it have been?"

"I just always figured you'd denounced parents in general."

"You think I didn't try? What you saw in that look wasn't any feelings I've kept at the brim of my consciousness. Even after Korra tapped into my abandonment, I wasn't  _thinking_ about how how much I considered you my mother. Whatever you saw was something primal."

Su's hand went to the letters. "Which makes it all the more powerful. Over the past several years, I've seen glimpses of you as a young adult, but I've never seen a glimpse of you as a child. I suppose it brought it all back for me, how the mad pilot of that mecha maid was the street-worn, crying little girl who clung to me the moment I offered comfort. For a long time, I thought it didn't matter that I saw that little girl in you, that the Great Uniter would push her back down and devour her, but now, especially seeing you again, I…I have hope."

"Hope for what…?"

"Hope that Kuvira is stronger than the Great Uniter. That one day, I'll be able to see your face and see the precocious and kind little girl, the passionate and hard-working young woman and not the horrors you caused."

"What are you saying?"

There had to be a catch. This was a dream. There was no way Su would forgive her, not now, not after one meeting… "I'm saying that if you come to me one day, a new life established, compassion and sanity back in how you spend your life, I won't think that it's a facade. I'll know that the girl I cared for isn't gone."

Kuvira felt the lump rising in her throat. "That's all very vague."

"You have to understand that I can't just let you back in Zaofu when you get out. Not only for my people, but for you. You shouldn't try to return to the life I gave you, and I doubt you want to. It's possible, and maybe even probable that the rest of the kids will come around like Baatar Jr. has, but I can't guarantee it. And, truthfully, I don't know what it'll take for me to be convinced that you've completely left the Great Uniter behind you. I know I can't get it just from talking to you for the next twenty-something years. I'm not going to go soft on you; I still think you need to pay for your crimes. I still can't forgive what you did to my family. I don't think the anger will just go away, and honestly, I don't think my Kuvira would've wanted forgiveness without redemption. But, I have my own redemption to go through while you work on yours. I may have never made you a member of my family, and that was wrong of me, but if there's any mistake I can fix, it's owning up to my own primal feelings. Kuvira, I did a horrible job of showing you this, but you were, and I suppose are, my daughter. My daughter who went off the deep end and tried to destroy a city with a super weapon, but my daughter nonetheless."

Throughout the entire four years that Su and Kuvira were estranged, Kuvira had always imagined how sweet "I forgive you" would sound, and that was as far as she'd ever gotten. Maybe it was something primal, something she never acknowledged, that wanted to hear what Su had just said. Those four tiny words that had just made all the difference in the world.

Kuvira's eyes welled with tears, and as much as she wanted to say something, no words were popping into her head.

Su still considered Kuvira her daughter?

Su pushed the letters over to Kuvira. "These are…all the letters I wrote to you that I never sent. I thought it might clear some things up. I need you to understand that I haven't forgiven you, nor am I very proud of you right now. But, you deserve what little I should've given you."

Su stood up, looked down at Kuvira, and something told her that it was going to be okay. It may take a while to realize that Su hadn't patched up all the holes and that they still had a long way to go, but this meeting seemed to be all about primal emotions, anyway. Kuvira got out of her seat, and more like a thoughtless child than anything else, embraced Su.

Su hugged her back. There wasn't any back rubbing or squeezing, but Su hugged her back.

As Su left, she said, "I don't think I'll be much help beyond this point as you try to help yourself, but I'll be watching your progress and rooting for you."

For a while, Kuvira sat in her empty cell, not willing to wipe the happy tears off her face. It wasn't until Korra came in, smile bright on her face, that Kuvira began to wipe them away.

"How bad was it?" Korra asked.

A few stray tears slipped out and Kuvira smiled. "Not too bad."

Korra wiped Kuvira's tears right off her face, and it was like something shifted in the universe. Kuvira looked into Korra's eyes, willing herself to lay down all the gratitude for having such an amazing friend and guide through all this. But, no words came out. Korra closed her eyes, and Kuvira stopped thinking. She closed her eyes, and suddenly she'd cocked her head to the right, strung up, waiting for the moment she'd just let go and lean in.

The millisecond before she decided to lean in, the door opened. Kuvira's eyelids flew open, within the same moment Korra's did.

"Korra, could we talk for a moment?" Su asked.

Kuvira quickly analyzed their situation; she and Korra were close, but it didn't look like they were about to kiss. And, as Korra left with a smaller smile and just a touch of a blush in her cheeks, Kuvira wondered what exactly they  _had_ done. Even in a moment of passion, neither of them had actually touched lips. It was surreal, and part of Kuvira believed that she could convince herself that it never happened. She imagined that neither she nor Korra would ever bring it up again.

"Next meeting we're going to start meditating! You're ready!" Korra called to her.

Once Korra disappeared behind the cell door, Kuvira put a thumb to her lips, unable to believe those lips had almost touched the Avatar's.

So this was what she had become: a soul on the path to redemption, less full of self hate and now just…lost. Even if she knew who she was—Suyin Beifong's adoptive daughter, Avatar Korra's advanced earth bending teacher, just Kuvira, not the Great Uniter—she had no idea what to do. She couldn't tell if she was any closer to balance, despite all the encouragement from her guide.

Her guide. Huh. Her guide that she was pretty sure she would've kissed had it not been for Su's interruption.

Kuvira: Zaofu born and raised, adoptive daughter of Suyin Beifong, former Great Uniter, Avatar Korra's advanced earth bending teacher, and undeniably bisexual. It didn't ring a bell yet.

 


	15. Meditation

Korra was waiting for the moment her own thoughts could come to the right conclusion, that there was no way in hell that she had almost kissed Kuvira. It…it didn't make sense. She was with Asami, and even if things hadn't been easy, especially not since Asami turned down her marriage proposal, saying she didn't feel ready for that kind of life commitment just yet, but she still…she still loved Asami. She loved Asami, and she was a monogamous person. She'd—she couldn't  _fathom_ the thought that she'd cheat on Asami. Asami was far too good a person, on far too good a streak, to have another crushing blow.

She'd interpreted it wrong, whatever had happened. With having a girlfriend for over a year, of course she'd start viewing platonic girl-girl interactions with the wrong lens. Kuvira was straight, had  _just_ seduced Baatar Jr., what, a few weeks before? They made jokes about her seducing Arnav, not any of the female guards. There was just no way.

Besides, all that had happened was Korra brushed a tear off Kuvira's face and they'd both closed their eyes at the same time. Kuvira might've just been blinking. Korra might've just been blinking. Nothing had happened. The most intimate and meaningful part of that moment was that Kuvira, someone who nearly didn't let Korra carry her injured ass out of the Spirit World let Korra touch her face. It was a deep emotional bond, a trust bond, not a romantic moment.

She loved Asami, and at best, Korra was beginning to love Kuvira like a really close friend, the way Aang and Zuko had "loved" each other. There was no more to it. She couldn't ruin Kuvira's path to redemption by tainting their relationship with these…feelings.

Korra got home late the day she waited outside Kuvira's cell as Su talked to her. She and Su's so called quick chat ended up lasting a while, Su thanking Korra for insisting month after month for Su to try to understand Kuvira better. Afterwards, she'd met with Wu, who was showing his own interest in visiting Kuvira, although Korra couldn't say it was for political reasons. She tossed her outerwear onto the coat rack Asami had bought, knocking the thing over for the millionth time since its arrival, and trudged upstairs.

It must've been really late, because Asami was already asleep in their bed, strewn across the thing as if she'd stepped into the room, taken off her shoes, dropped onto it, and fell asleep. Sure enough, she was still wearing her work clothes. She considered risking waking her up to move her into a position that allowed multiple people use of the bed, but decided against it. If Asami was that tired, she ought to leave her be.

Korra pulled some pajamas out of the closet and moved into one of the guest rooms in Asami's estate. This had seemed like such a good idea when they decided to move in together, but lately, Korra was missing the comforts of having a lot of people in a smaller space, like her setup on Air Temple Island.

She changed, and settled into the cold, empty bed. She really did still love Asami, but things just…hadn't been as great as Korra had always imagined. Not to diminish anything—Asami was the best significant other Korra had ever had, and Korra loved spending time with her and making her happy—but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel the same way she'd always imagined Aang and Katara or Tenzin and Pema had been. The first year had been blissful and heavenly, but ever since they passed that one year mark, ever since Asami turned down Korra's proposal, it felt like they'd reached a stagnation, a dead end. Asami had said she'd be ready eventually, she'd promised, but how would Korra ever know how long that would be? How could she know how to proceed with a relationship when the future was so blurry? She hated it, too, because a few years back, she could've just enjoyed the day-to-day pleasures of loving Asami, but she felt like she needed some foresight now.

And the worst part was that she and Asami were so perfect for each other. They balanced each other, they were kind to each other, they enjoyed each other's company, they had the same friends, values, all that, and spirits, Asami was hot to boot. She  _should_ feel like the luckiest girl in the world, but she didn't. It was scary. Nothing sounded worse than realizing that her relationship with Asami didn't work, the way her and Mako didn't work out. She couldn't imagine what Asami would think if she told her about these feelings.

She hoped Kuvira was sleeping more peacefully than Korra would that night.

* * *

Asami was up before Korra, preparing breakfast. Korra greeted her with a kiss, and sat back to give Asami room to work.

"You could've moved me," Asami said, a smile playing on her lips.

Korra smiled back. "I didn't want to disturb you. It was really late when I came back."

"What were you doing so late at night?"

Korra shrugged. "Meetings with world leaders, taking care of some minor spats in one of the boroughs, visiting Kuvira…"

"Aren't you supposed to meet with Kuvira tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Su was coming to visit her, and well, Su hasn't had the best track record in being sensitive, so I thought it'd be good if I could be there for her if something went wrong."

"How'd it go?"

"It went fine, actually. I think she made a huge leap to self-acceptance, and I think it's good for Su as well."

"That's great." She slid Korra her breakfast. "So, are you still going to visit her tomorrow?"

"Yeah. We're going to start meditating. I want to eventually take her to the Spirit World to finish the reconciliation process."

Something flashed across Asami's eyes, but it was so quick that Korra didn't catch the emotion. "You're really into this Kuvira redemption thing, aren't you?" Korra nodded. "Are you doing this with Zaheer too?"

"No. I feel like trying to get Zaheer to realize the error of his ways would be like teaching a man that blue is actually green; it's just so ingrained in him. I feel like the best I can do is check up on him and make sure he's found peace within his own imprisonment and doesn't plan to break out again. But, with Kuvira, I mean, she surrendered, she proved to me that it wasn't an ideology driving her, deep down, but that she got caught up in what she was doing. I know that she can be rehabilitated."

"You don't think you're focusing too much on one person? I trust that you know what you're doing, but it seems to be getting sort of…obsessive. Like you go there for more than just to teach her and guide her."

Korra hid the hints of panic with a smile. "Don't be jealous."

Asami chewed her lip for a moment. "Korra, if there's something you want to talk about, I'm all ears. Always."

She had to just say it. If she didn't say it, it only proved her doubts even more. "Do you ever feel like…like well, like we were happier when we were best friends? That this…this serious relationship is holding us back?"

There was a long bout of silence. "I…haven't ever thought about it."

Korra focused on her food. "I guess I'm just scared that me being too eager wrecked our chances for letting this relationship bloom."

Asami's expression softened, and she put a hand on Korra's shoulder. "Korra, I never meant to make you feel that way. I never thought any different of our relationship when I said I didn't want to be engaged yet. I just—"

"You didn't want to commit to me."

"We're so young. We haven't been dating long. It doesn't mean I don't love you."

"I don't think love is our problem. I believe we'd love each other regardless of if it's romantic or as friends, and I think it'd be one of the deepest, if not the deepest connection I'd have with someone. I'm just scared that that was our red flag, and we're both trying to ignore that something isn't right."

She pulled Korra into a hug, and kissed her. "You're overthinking it. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm crazy about you?"

There were so many things she could've suggested—morning sex, a date that night, and invitation to hang with her at work—but her mind was blank. "I don't know." She kissed Asami's cheek. "But you're probably right."

How had she let herself become so unsatisfied with her life? Asami was perfect, and she knew that, so what was the problem? Was she really that hurt that Asami didn't want to marry her?

She went about her day, and the vile thought that she'd never dare utter to Asami sunk its claws into the back of her mind, and there was no shaking it.

What if her romantic feelings for Asami were fading, and romantic feelings for Kuvira were taking over? Because the more she thought about it, the more it made sense of the chaos her inner feelings had become. It would explain why Korra insisted upon seeing Kuvira so often, even after she'd been let off suicide watch and didn't technically need her anymore. It would explain those moments where she'd look into Kuvira's eyes and feel like something was going right in her life. It would explain the lingering looks as Kuvira moved, watching without Su's former guard knowing it, how Korra always seemed to be touching her. She could make up excuses, say half those touches and moments had been to comfort Kuvira, but she couldn't keep the lie up forever. Some of those times, she'd touched Kuvira because she wanted to.

Spirits, how could she do this, become Mako, liking one girl while loving another? It was so messed up. She had to stop this. She had to—

_Do you even know Kuvira's straight?_

She couldn't think like that. If she tried to figure out if Kuvira shared feelings, it'd just be a slippery slope down shattering Asami's heart. She couldn't do that, even if…

Well, even if she really wanted to.

* * *

Two days after the meeting with Su, Korra was back. Korra smiled at Kuvira, and as normal as this had become, everything about them was beginning to feel different. Maybe it was Kuvira accepting that she was attracted to Korra, and maybe it was just the bliss that came from Su's visit, but she felt so much happier than she had in a while.

"So, have you ever meditated before?" Korra asked.

"No. I always lowered my stress by dancing or exercise, and it never really became necessary. As you can imagine, I never thought there'd be much use in becoming good enough at meditation to reach the Spirit World."

"Well, that's fine. We have a while to learn."

Kuvira put a hand up. "Before we begin, what do you want to do with meditation?"

"I thought that it'd be really beneficial if we took a trip into the Spirit World together sometime during your sentence."

"Am I allowed to leave the cell like that?"

Korra shrugged. "Zaheer does it all the time. Trust me, you're good."

Kuvira paused. "Okay, well, how we begin?"

Korra got on the floor and got into lotus position. "You can technically do whatever position you want, but lotus is typical." Kuvira lowered herself onto the floor and got into lotus position. "Good posture is a big part of this, so keep your back straight. Otherwise, it's just about being in as relaxing a position as possible. It helps if your hands are touching, to give you something to focus on."

Kuvira wove her fingers together, thumbs touching tips, and closed her eyes.

"The most autonomous means of reaching a meditative state is focusing on your own breathing, but if you want guided meditation, we can try that too. See what works for you."

Kuvira focused on her breathing, instantly reminded of how little over a year ago, she couldn't take deep breaths like this. She squeezed her eyes shut and focused back on her breathing. She focused on her expanding and deflating lungs, the rise and fall of her chest. For a moment, it seemed as if she'd got it, and wasn't thinking of anything.

But, within that realm of thoughtlessness, feelings took over. And, for some reason, the defining feeling was that of her being watched. Why was Korra watching her? Wouldn't she be meditating too? She considered staying quiet, but she couldn't ignore the feeling.

"Korra, what're you doing?" Kuvira asked in a soft voice.

"What do you mean?"

Kuvira exhaled, said, "You're staring at me," and inhaled again.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Was it just her? Spirits, what was going on now? She opened her eyes, and Korra was facing her, hands not in the meditative position she'd suggested. Kuvira studied Korra, unsure of what to say without making this any more awkward. Awkward because, call her insane, but she was starting to think Korra was checking her out. It still made her angry thinking about the handful of Earth Kingdom officials who had spent a good deal of their negotiations over states looking at her body. Depending on deplorable the officials were without staring at her breasts, she'd either ignore them or _sneak in_  some death glares.

But, even if she was right about Korra checking her out, was it really worth pushing the subject?

"Sorry, I was probably imagining it," Kuvira said.

Korra smiled, relaxed a bit. "Solitary getting to you?" Korra paused. "Do they ever let you go outside? I mean, even in protective custody, they should be…"

"I believe the solitary is part of my punishment, not a result of incompetent prison staff. Besides, if they let any inmates get a look at me, I'd be eaten alive, regardless of how many guards there were around me. If I'm not the direct reason some of these people are in prison, I've hurt or killed some member of their families. This is an Earth Kingdom prison, after all."

"Still, I'm afraid when you get out you'll go blind from seeing sunlight for the first time in thirty years."

"I don't think that actually happens."

Korra put her hands out, palms forward and shrugged. "Let's try meditating again." She got up and went back to back with Kuvira. In adjusted, they bumped backs, and Kuvira would be lying if she said it didn't send a bolt of warmth through her. "And this time, I actually cannot be staring at you."

Once Korra stopped talking, Kuvira closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. It came quicker this time, that false silence that comes with blocking out even the softest hum of the overhead lights and Korra's breathing from behind her. The room was bright, so the color behind her eyes wasn't quite the pitch black she saw when she pulled the covers over her head to sleep at night.

The only problem was, once she found the silence, she didn't know what to do. Was she just expected to reach the Spirit World, or was there some intention she had to put with the meditation? Would Korra have to guide her there with her Avatar powers? Didn't it require enlightenment to reach the Spirit World?

Kuvira opened her eyes, and before she could even turn around, Korra did it for her.

"Not too bad for a first timer," Korra said.

"Thanks." Kuvira chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment. "So, how do you actually get into the Spirit World?"

"If you stay in the emptiness long enough and set an intention, you get there. The problem is how hard it is to truly enter that nothingness and be able to focus enough to set an intention. If you're anything like me, and I'm sure you are, impatience will be the biggest obstacle to get over."

"Okay." Kuvira put her hands back into a meditative position. "Should we try again?"

"I'm wondering if we should've done some preemptive relaxing before really digging into this. Might help calm you enough to be more patient. What usually relaxes you?" Korra paused. "That I could do too, so advanced metalbending dancing might be out of the picture."

Kuvira rolled her eyes good naturedly. "We did a lot of yoga to supplement dance rehearsals. Is that too intense for you?"

"Please. I can do yoga."

Kuvira smirked. "I'm sure you can."

She then proceeded to roll onto her side, lock her elbow into a ninety degree angle against her side, and lift herself off the ground, one leg out straight while the other met a perfectly perpendicular arm hand in foot. She smiled at Korra faltered, part wide eyes, part blush, all uncertainty.

"That. That isn't human. Not that."

Kuvira untangled herself and got back into a lotus position. "You going to lead the practice today, Avatar?"

"Yup."

Korra actually led them through a pretty good sequence, beginning with more active poses but slowly moving into more resting poses, ananda balasana, garbhasna, and supta matsyendrasana, ending with the classic shavasana.

"You've still got a little resistance in your shoulders," Korra said. "Can I adjust you?"

"Go ahead."

Korra started out with some minor adjustments, angling Kuvira's hands a bit differently, but even that touch was impossible to ignore. When she pushed down on Kuvira's shoulders, she almost forgot to let go of the tension keeping them that way. Then, Korra didn't stop. She moved her hands up and started massaging Kuvira's shoulders, neck, even a bit on her temples. Not only did it feel amazing but…spirits, it was like a rush of feelings, the same power that she used to feel under Baatar's touch. She would've called it bliss. She would've been well on the way to do whatever Korra wanted to get her to keep touching her.

When Korra's hands left, Kuvira took a deep breath, knowing what the Avatar was doing was a pretty typical practice for a yoga instructor. She focused back on her breathing, on feeling her whole self operate, the blood pushing through, her chest rising and falling, until it was all she could hear.

Until there was nothing to hear at all.

So this was meditative calm.

Time seemed to stop passing, and Kuvira began to feel like she was sinking. Normally, it would've alarmed her, but she let the physical connection to the ground fade away. It was all an illusion, anyway.

The only thing she couldn't muster was getting the courage to set an intention on reaching the Spirit World. Instead, she lay there in peace, basking in the nothingness. Like a nap, Kuvira just sort of knew when to come back to reality. She wiggled her fingers and toes, reactivating the blood flow, and turned onto her side and back to a sitting position. Then, she opened her eyes.

"You didn't fall asleep, did you? It's okay if you did; I used to all the time when I was first learning," Korra said.

For a moment, Kuvira wondered if she had fallen asleep, but something didn't feel right about that. "I don't think I did."

Korra nodded, a slight smile on her face. "Guess we're both pretty fast learners. I guess corpse pose works better for you."

"Guess so."

For a moment, neither of them spoke, and instead just looked at each other. She wondered if Korra had thought about that almost kiss, or if Arnav was right about Korra liking Kuvira back. That was the true torture in life, not being able to just  _ask_ her. So much for being the woman who got whatever she wanted.

Even if, whenever they made eye contact, it was like someone had corrected all the chaos in the world. It didn't feel like Kuvira was the only one feeling so happy whenever they were together. Korra smiled a lot when they were together, would glance at her for too long, and was so comfortable with touch. There was definitely tension between them. The one thing Kuvira wasn't sure of was if Korra felt as emotional intimate with Kuvira as she did. It wasn't necessarily discouraging as much as the only way for Kuvira to get answers would be to start actually asking Korra questions, start making  _her_ tell really personal stories.

"How much longer are you here for?" Kuvira asked.

"An hour at most. Not sure. I don't think I have anything going on today, so soak me in."

Kuvira laughed a little. "I feel like we spend too much time talking about me."

"That's because this is your redemption journey. I already went on that."

"Still, I've told you enough personal stories for you to throw me one." Kuvira smiled a bit. "It's only fair, right?"

"What do you want to know?"

Kuvira couldn't resist. "You said you dated everyone on your team?"

"I mean, Bolin and I went on one date, Mako and I dated for six months, and Asami and I are, you know, a thing."

"When did you…realize you were also attracted to girls?"

"I mean, looking back, I think I always admired Asami's…you know, aesthetic, but I didn't really realize that I liked girls as a thing until well…I guess I realized it sometime during my three years away. That's when I started to notice Asami flirting with me and liked it, and, I don't know…" Korra blushed. "It certainly wasn't the best time for me to have to face a female foe."

Kuvira blushed. "Yeah, that might be more difficult."

"Yeah. Luckily, it was pretty hard to check you out while we were fighting."

There was a long pause. "We weren't always fighting."

Korra put on a sheepish smile. "I'm going to regret whatever comes next."

Kuvira threw on a smirk. "So you thought I was hot?"

"I mean, I prefer this look, but sure."

She preferred this look? Kuvira was back to blushing. "Thanks…"

Korra shook her head. "Okay, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm acting so weird. I don't…mean all this in a hitting on you way. I mean, we can admire beauty in other people, right? You're a really attractive female, and that's pretty much fact. It's not a big deal."

But now Korra wasn't making eye contact.

_Just say it. Say you think she's beautiful too._

"Don't worry about it. If it makes you feel any less awkward, I think you're very pretty too."

Korra started making eye contact again, those blues now filled with wonder. "Thanks." Everyone paused. "What were we talking about?"

"When you figured out you were bi."

"Oh. Yeah, you didn't make my job easy. I'm going to start blaming your physical appearance on my loss in Zaofu instead of my fighting skills, if you don't mind."

Kuvira chuckled. "I don't think I'll be able to spread the rumor far, but I'll take it."

Instead of moving off the floor, the two of them scooted against the wall to talk. Kuvira couldn't help but notice the way they orientated themselves while talking had become visibly more intimate over the year or so.

"So…I know the Fire Lord is a woman now and we're getting over the patriarchy thing, but was it ever hard to be a female military leader?"

"You know the stories I already told you about how people treated me early on, so I'd say once I had established myself as a genuine threat and someone who needed to be taken seriously, any negative associations with me and my sex weren't a problem. What happened after that were just minor annoyances. I'm sure you've had the same problems every now and again. Being checked out when you're trying to get through official business, lewd comments, stuff like that. There was only one time when it really got to me." Korra started to smile, anticipating a story. Kuvira pointed a finger in Korra's direction. "If I tell you this story, you better give me some fantastic story in return."

Korra laughed. "I will."

_A seventy-five percent unification of the Earth Kingdom required the signature of one Gopan, governor of the state of Lungzhi. The state was in massive decline, and Gopan had sent three wires to them, as if he couldn't be sure enough that they were coming. Kuvira never spoke of it, but she knew how famous she was becoming: kids asked for pictures or hugs when she went through towns with supplies, bandits' eyes would fill with fear when they arrived in towns, and the name The Great Uniter was more famous than her actual name._

_"Ready to go, Kuv?" Baatar asked as she looked herself in the mirror, checking to make sure not a hair or swipe of makeup was anything less than perfect._

_She turned around. "What do you think?"_

_Baatar smiled. "You look perfect. C'mon, let's get this over-with. I never knew the phrase skin-and-bones had a real world counterpart, and these people need our help."_

_Despite every effort Kuvira made to equalize their relationship, Baatar still liked opening doors for her. She'd tried to make a fuss about it years back, but at this point, she took it to be a gesture of respect from a lower ranking officer and let him do his thing. It didn't really matter if she opened doors for herself, anyway._

_Naturally, then, Baatar opened the door to the governor's office to begin their meeting._

_"Thank you so much for coming, Great Uniter!" Kuvira heard the governor say before she even got into the view of the people inside the office._

_Was…Was this man calling Baatar the Great Uniter?_

_"I'm not the Great Uniter," Baatar said, a bit of airiness to his comment, his way of diffusing the situation._

_Kuvira clasped her hands behind her back and rolled her shoulders back, chin slightly up. She hadn't taken lessons on body language per say, but she'd learned a fair amount on the campaign. That, combined with the generally very serious expression she wore without trying made for a good, serious image. She wasn't and would not be threatened by this guy, but part of her hoped that he wasn't outrageously tall like Baatar. Kuvira wasn't short by any means, but 5'7"-5'8" was still a height that could be towered over._

_She entered the room same as she would've otherwise, but took her sweet, contemptuous time to look up at Gopan. He was a bit shorter than Baatar, but still tall, filled out, his clothing hiding whether or not his thickness came from fat or muscle. He seemed to be on the younger end of middle aged, tan skin, no hair below or above his thick eyebrows._

_"You called us here, but before we can give your state its much needed aid, we need to negotiate my terms," Kuvira said._

_Gopan's smiled through the corner of his mouth. "_ You're  _the Great Uniter?"_

_Kuvira quirked a brow. "Were you expecting someone else? If you want to stand around laughing at your own jokes, I can leave and you can see who else can give aid to your town. The airbenders are spread very thin right now."_

_He bowed a bit, but with an aloofness. "My apologies, Great Uniter. I just—I'm infamous for staying out of the loop, and you're far from the image I had in mind."_

_Kuvira's eyes went to her contract as she set it on his desk. "I don't see how it matters to you. I could be a middle aged man or a twenty-three year old woman. I will save your town and state."_

_"You're twenty-three?"_

_Now it was just getting irritating. Even when governors tried to schmooze her with compliments or small talk to try to get more aid she had to blow off the frustration, but this idiot was still hung up on what she was instead of who she was. She spared the quickest of glances at Baatar, who held a crease in his brow._

_"My age isn't going to get you better terms." She tapped the contract. "In short, the state of Lungzhi will dissolve and become part of the Earth Kingdom again. You will still retain your position, but under my supervision, and you're granting us the right to use your state's resources so as to benefit the nation as a whole. With this agreement, your people will be protected and given the resources they need to not only survive, but thrive. Do you have any questions?"_

_"This isn't some decoy trick, is it? I'm not going to be negotiating if I'm dealing with the so-called Great Uniter's handmaiden."_

_Baatar's eyes widened, along with everyone surrounding Kuvira and the governor. The governor wore an ornate metal collar, and Kuvira couldn't think straight anymore. With just the clench of her hand, she had the collar tighten around his throat._

_"Listen here and sing it to your sexist friends: I am Kuvira of the Metal Clan, the Great Uniter, the President of Earth Kingdom, and I'm the person who gets to decide whether I want to give your town the resources it so desperately needs or to only stay long enough to watch the starving burst in here, roast you over an open flame and distribute your meat to the hungry. Even if you can't handle the idea that a_ handmaiden  _is dangling your life above your face, it's time to face some cold, hard facts." She got right into his face, able to see every vein in the whites of his eyes burst as he struggled for air. "Now, do you have any questions about my offer?"_

_She released his choker reclaimed her professional distance. The governor took a few moments to catch his breath, let the color return to his face. His advisors all exchanged a look, and one stepped forward._

_"If you don't mind, Great Uniter, I'd like to take over the negotiations for the governor. How long would the aid last?"_

_Kuvira centered herself, evened out her breathing. "We'd continue aid for as long as your people need it. We know how important a foundation is, and the only way to build your state back up to its former glory and beyond is to bring everyone out of this hell the bandits have caused."_

_"And…what exactly do you mean by using Lungzhi's resources?"_

_"For most states, that clause relates to natural resources. Metals that can be mined. Whatever is mined and given to my army will be used to both improve the army itself, thus allowing this period of chaos to end sooner and help your fellow Earth Kingdom citizens as well as going towards other life quality improvements here as well as wherever it's needed most. In return, your state will receive some of the resources that your fellow states of the Earth Kingdom have already offered to us."_

_"Would we have any say in how much goes out?"_

_"I'm afraid it wouldn't be practical to allow all the individual regions to decide for themselves. It would cause too much discourse, and we need to be efficient while lives are at stake."_

_"I understand."_

_The advisor continued to ask questions, thoroughly analyzing the contract, and it seemed as if negotiations were turning around. Sure, Kuvira was a bit impatient, having come here thinking they'd just sign the contract, but these people did deserve to know what they were getting themselves into._

_Through it all, though, Gopan didn't say a word. In fact, he kept his eyes on the table, not even daring to look up at Kuvira's men. She could imagine what he'd try to communicate through his gaze:_ how do you deal with this crazy bitch?

_"And what of the draft requirements for the army? Is your force still volunteer, or—?" the advisor asked._

_Through her peripheral vision, she saw Gopan's gaze shift. Shift up. Shift up just enough to where he wasn't looking at the paper near Kuvira's hand, but definitely not looking at her face._

_Was this pig honestly looking at her breasts while they were negotiating his state's fate?_

_In such a quick succession of thought one thought almost didn't seem to exist, she thought about how cold it was in this room and how finished she was with this man._

_"Is there something unclear on the contract, Governor?" Kuvira snapped, turning toward him. All eyes shot toward Kuvira and Gopan, even those of her own soldiers. "Because, let me assure you, I'm not hiding anything. Everything's crystal clear right here, but I suppose you can't help but_ speculate _._ Check it out for yourself _." She stepped right up to him, taking away the protective table he'd stuck between Kuvira and his disgusting gaze. "I understand that a female leader is something still a bit_ new _to you, but let me assure you," she grabbed him by the chin and yanked him down so he looked her in the eye, cracking vertebrae and all, "I may be a female leader, but I will be just as ruthless and intolerant of your misconduct."_

_She shoved him back, intending to just make him stumble, but he fell to the floor, eyes wide with fear. She turned to the advisor whom she'd been talking to. "If your governor is more interested in ogling me, I'll gladly take my army and aid to a governor more interested in what I'm offering. But, I'm not here to punish the people for one man's faults. We'll wait at the border for one day, and if someone wants to take me seriously, I'll give what we talked out." She turned back to the governor. "Meanwhile, I hope your people understand who turned down their aid." She leaned into the governor. "Better get your one last concubine in, governor. People get pretty desperate when they're hungry."_

_She exited the office with her succession following her out in silence. Even Baatar didn't say anything. In fact, the only person who so much as dared to make a comment was Varrick, who said something along the lines of, "Some men forget why we name ships after women: they're cold blooded war machines!" as he looked at Zhu Li._

_The officials requested a re-negotiation after five hours._

_It was the advisor she'd been talking to before who stepped forward and signed the papers. "Gopan has stepped down," he said with a shaking voice._

_Kuvira handed out aid right alongside a grinning Bolin and her other soldiers. She smiled as relief crossed mothers' and fathers' faces as they could feed their families again. Kids looked up at her with awe, and the more friendly ones even asked her for handshakes, hugs, autographs, whatever they could get. A ratty looking reporter asked for a picture with her as a mob of grateful kids came in to embrace her, and she smiled for the flash._

_"You're my hero, Great Uniter," one boy said as she handed him an apple._

_"And you're the reason I'm doing this," she replied._

_Two older boys approached Kuvira, hands out._

_"What really happened to the governor?" one of the older boys asked the other._

_The other older boy smirked. "You think anyone was going to let the Great Uniter come without cleaning the place up? He's watching, just before the horizon."_

_The little boy and the older boy's companion both looked between two buildings, toward the mountainside that lay beyond the town. Kuvira followed the boys' gaze, and found quiet the sight right before the horizon._

_Gopan was indeed watching over Lungzhi, eyes permanently open as he swung from a noose attached to a tree._

_"All Hail the Great Uniter," the boy who had delivered the news said._

_"All Hail the Great Uniter!" the little boy chimed in._

_Soon, everyone was chanting "All Hail the Great Uniter!" as she returned to the train._

_Baatar was the first and only person she told about Gopan's hanging._

_"Did we just…coerce this state into joining us?" Baatar mused._

_"Whatever gets results," Kuvira answered. She glanced out the window, Gopan's figure a dot in the background. "Remind me to make sure Lungzhi has a secure governor in place. Even if I trust the advisor, I want to be sure."_

Korra shook her head. "You were so insane. So, spirits, you were really affected by that, weren't you? I never thought I'd learn that the first state you coerced into joining you was only coerced because the governor was a sexist pig." She sucked air in through her teeth. "And I'm also not going to lie and say I understand what that's like. Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm also sorry that idiot was hanged, but I'm feeling Kyoshi, and I think she'd say he deserved it."

"Are you serious?"

"Half-serious. I hope you've uh, realized that you were being pretty overdramatic in refusing the town relief and not punishing the town for murdering their leader is pretty insane."

"For the record, we kept a close watch on that town, and they never acted out again. I don't have a single recorded dissenter from that state at all. But, as for me being overdramatic, of course it was, but it was for more than just him bruising my pride. It was for every woman out there who has to deal with people who believe their blood, sweat, and tears is a joke because she's a girl. If I had Baatar stand in for me, that governor wouldn't have said a word and we would've been out of there in five minutes."

"You always seem to bring your questionable actions back to greater good."

"That one truly was. If it were just for me, I would've just given his balls a good spraining and finished negotiations with his advisor. It had to be a bigger message. The townspeople chose to kill him; I thought they'd just make him step down. Don't tell me that Eska didn't have to go through similar strife when she co-ruled with Desna, and that she didn't lash out."

Korra opened her mouth, but it hung open for quite some time before she lowered her finger and said, "No comment." Korra made a face. "Ugh, don't become my cousins. Sometimes I don't think they're actually human."

Kuvira smiled a bit. "So, I have to spread the rumor that you lost our one-on-one because you were too busy checking me out, and I can't become your cousins? And I haven't even gotten my story yet."

Korra pursed her lips. "How about I tell you about the time I tried professional cage earthbending?"

Korra started laughing before Kuvira could pretend to take her seriously, and Korra even got her to giggle a bit. "You're awful. That was the most demeaning meeting I ever attended. You want another point in which I started realizing why I was truly doing what I was doing? Put down that one."

Korra gently pushed Kuvira's head onto her shoulder. "All joking aside, I'm really happy that you're willing to talk to me. I don't know if you can tell, but it's done wonders for you. I feel like I'm seeing less of that sad little girl and more of a life-hardened, wise woman." Kuvira and Korra looked to each other. "And, don't tell anyone, but I really like her."

Kuvira smiled. "She has an amazing guide."

Forget attracted. Forget it, forget it, forget it.

Spirits, she was in love.

 


	16. Numb

Kuvira had officially found a close second worst way to be woken up after being slammed between the ceiling and a mattress, and it was the prison's alarm system. She barely had time to pull the covers tighter over her head before her cell door opened.

"Up and at em, Captain Kuv," Arnav said.

More than two months, and he still wouldn't stop calling her by that stupid nickname. At least he hadn't resorted to Kuvs or Kuvi yet.

She rolled out of bed, and the guards had her in their hands within seconds. Arnav faced her directly, another three guards around him.

"Don't be alarmed by what we're about to do," he said.

"What, are you gonna gang rape me? What's that supposed to mean?" she muttered.

"Actually," someone jabbed her in several spots on her upper back, and the pain was instantly accompanied by a woozy feeling, "chi block." Kuvira swayed in her spot, and Arnav steadied her. "Can you stand or do we need to carry you out?"

"It'd be a hell of a lot easier than with some of the guys we have to chi block," one of the other guards commented.

She pushed Arnav off. "I'm fine."

She wasn't, and would've fallen on her face if not for Arnav catching her. He threw one of her arms over his shoulder, and guard who made the carrying comment took her other side. The four guards flanked her like a procession, one in front of her, one on either side, and one in back of her. For some reason, they hadn't put her in handcuffs, but she supposed that was what the chi blocking was for.

"What's happening?" Kuvira asked Arnav, who was probably making jokes with himself about being on her right side.

"Fire. Mandatory evacuation of all prisoners. We'll just have to wait in the yard until everything's all clear."

Kuvira's stomach twisted. "Wait, with the general population?"

Arnav smiled a bit. "C'mon, Kuvira, why do you think you have four guards? It's for your protection."

Somehow, that wasn't making her feel any better. They couldn't have gotten her at a worse state: she had been having a hard time falling asleep, and despite it being midnight when they got her out of bed, she'd barely gotten half an hour of sleep, the chi blocking had gotten her way more than she imagined, and she had started her cycle that night. (And, since this had been going on for several months, Korra's 'You're not pregnant and in prison' encouragement was long gone.) In other words, she'd lose a fight against anyone who tried to challenge her.

She tried to be as mindful as possible as she was escorted outside, suddenly aware that this may be the only time in the next twenty-eight and a half years that she'd see outside her prison cell. The thought made a lump form in her throat, but she'd be damned if she attributed it to anything other than her cycle and going mad in solitary.

Turns out, the prison was huge, co-ed, and appeared to be made exclusively for earthbenders, or at least made from a ton of metal. Spirits, Kuvira would do anything to be able to feel that metal shift under her fingertips, but chi blocking really did dampen the charge being around her element usually gave her.

When they stepped outside, Kuvira had to blink a few times to adjust to this new level of darkness. Sure, there were some lights on in the yard, but the midnight sky was a black she had forgotten even existed. It was a gorgeous night, the moon big and stars shining above her head. It was enough to forget about the sea of prisoners already in the yard, corralled by guards and buzzing in conversation. Occasionally, she'd see one lightly push another or make other physical contact, but no one appeared to be getting into any fights.

"Look everyone, it's the honored guests of the SHU! The processions keeping getting longer and longer," one prisoner yelled as what must've been other solitary confinement prisoners walked by with their guards.

She wasn't sure whether to keep her head up or down. She couldn't be sure with her hair down and in the same rags as everyone else if she could be recognized.

Kuvira walked past the line of gen pop inmates, head down, but before she was home free, in another section of the yard, the procession stopped.

She set her eyes on her shoes and waited, heart hammering.

But, by some miracle, no one took notice of her. No one recognized her.

Her relief only lasted as long as it took her to realize that it was freezing. Literally freezing. She supposed she knew what season it was.

"Do they hand out jackets?" Kuvira asked.

Arnav's expression softened. "Oh, well, they usually distribute them to the prisoners because they get outdoor privileges, but I suppose they regulate the temperature in your room." He looked at his own overcoat, pushed Kuvira exclusively onto the other guard, and removed his coat. "Here, I'm used to the cold." He smiled. "Firebender trait."

As Kuvira struggled to put the jacket on while still a little paralyzed from the chi blocking, she studied Arnav. She'd always figured he was an earthbender. "I thought you were an earthbender."

He shrugged and took her arm again. "Part Earth Kingdom, part Fire Nation. A pretty typical mutt for these parts."

If she were honest, this was the first real time she'd thought about how crazy she'd been to try to take the United Nations back for the Earth Kingdom. Of course she'd heard about the Fire Nation/Earth Kingdom families who'd come out of the occupation, the main reason why Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko had made the area an independent nation, but she'd never actually met someone who was born and raised in the United Nations with ancestors who came from that occupation. She wondered if Arnav was aware of this new bit of regret; probably not.

"Thanks for the coat," she said.

"Anytime."

Did he not qualify for her army because he was a firebender, or was it some other physical limitations? She really hoped it hadn't been because he was a firebender.

No, it wouldn't have been. Why would he still follow her cause if her people had acted in such a discriminatory manner? Spirits, there was so much that Kuvira couldn't account for, actions under her name that very well could've been horrible, and there was no way to truly know or atone for them.

Every twenty minutes or so, Arnav or one of her little guard posse had to chi block her again, leaving her limp in the dying grass the entire time. Another thing about prison: fires, or fire drills, or whatever this was, weren't resolved quickly. She counted twelve times they had to chi block her. _Twelve_. They sat out there for  _four hours_. She could only hope her prisons were run better than this. Arnav's coat helped, but she was still shivering and she couldn't even tell if she was being irrational or not in hating every single person and thing in that yard.

"How long does it take to quell a fire that isn't even visible from here?" Kuvira muttered.

Two of her procession exchanged a look, and the one who had helped drag her to the yard said, "It usually doesn't take this long. They're probably sneaking in a fixing of the showers in cell block D while no one's here."

Kuvira crossed her arms. "Well, I'm not in cell block D, so maybe we could cut this field trip short?"

The guards all smiled. "You can go to sleep if that's what you want. Arnav's right here, and you've already accepted his jacket."

The guards jeered and wolf whistled while Arnav just stood there pulling at his collar.

"Just think about it, Arnav. One day, you can tell your kids that the former Great Uniter wore your jacket. Maybe it'll even still smell like her."

Kuvira rolled her eyes. "I haven't smelled like the Great Uniter in years, so tough luck on that front."

The guards all looked to her. "You had a certain smell?"

"Perfume."

"You wore perfume?" Arnav asked, as if any signs of femininity wasn't possible for a military leader.

"Perfume, makeup, sculpted eyebrows. If you forgot, I was mostly a politician."

"Yeah, a politician who one-on-one fought the Avatar twice and piloted a giant robot of destruction," one of the nameless guards said.

"If you don't think every major world leader hasn't fought the Avatar at least once…"

"President Raiko."

"What would that fight even look like? They might as well have fought every time Korra grabbed the man's chin during press conferences."

"Fire Lord Izumi," Arnav said.

"Matter of time."

Arnav crossed his arms. "Okay, now you're just covering your ass."

She didn't know how to continue, but mostly because she knew that Korra truly wasn't going to be starting any fights any time in the near future.

"Which one of us is the military tactician?" she replied.

Kuvira's left hand man rubbed his chin. "In your honest opinion, do you think there would've been a destructive uprising within the Earth Kingdom had Earth Queen not been murdered?"

Kuvira rolled out her shoulders, feeling returning to her body. "I believe that Queen Hou-Ting was always destined to be assassinated. The thing is, I'm of the frame of mind that if it hadn't been the Red Lotus, someone else would've done it. An uprising is likely as well. But, part of me also believes that it was almost destiny that the Red Lotus were the ones who killed her because they did it anonymously. They allowed for a very specific kind of aftermath. It wasn't just someone dissatisfied with the monarchy who tried to get rid of it so they could rule; those guys took her out with the intention of  _no one_  taking her place. They didn't just want a new leader in the old system, they wanted to eradicate the system all together. And, honestly, it was due. The Earth Kingdom is infinitely stronger because we suffered through that period of chaos than we ever were with even the best monarchs. As far as I'm concerned, we can thank Hou-Ting as our unwilling sacrifice for the greater good."

"And you were the only one who could've brought the nation back to greatness?"

"Of course not. I originally had full faith that Su could've done it beautifully, but she chose not to. It didn't have to be me; all it needed to be was someone who was determined to help these people and bring order and unity to a nation fragmented and stripped raw."

One of the guards stopped her. "Okay, wait, you're still just cool with the Earth Queen having been murdered?"

Kuvira raised a brow. "Survival of the fittest, and honestly, once Kuei started having offspring, it went downhill. As in,  _really_  downhill. Call it a poor lineage. At least the Fire Nation's royals are taught how to be semi-functioning world leaders and usually follow a tradition of military experience, and gain some real world wisdom. Look, I think you four would make better leaders than the monarchy of the Earth Kingdom. It's not saying much."

Kuvira balled her hand into a fist, the guards all exchanged a mischievous look, and one of them chi blocked her again. Even if these barely older than teenagers were joking around, Kuvira's overall exasperation with the situation actually had her doing that stupid growling noise that Baatar used to do when he got really pissed.

"When I get out of prison, I'm finding every one of you and cutting off your fucking hands," Kuvira spat.

The guards started laughing, but there wasn't exclusively joy in their eyes.

"See, the problem is that I have no doubt that you can and will do that," her left hand man said.

Kuvira accepted her new twenty minutes of motionlessness, and would've fallen asleep if not for the cold and a new attack of cramps.

Ten minutes passed with Kuvira motionless, listening to her guards talk amongst themselves and watching the inmates around her. They'd made a sort of artificial divide between the solitary confinement and protected custody inmates and the general population inmates, a ten foot gap between the two groups. Kuvira had a guard on both her side and on gen pop's side between her and the closest inmates, but she still couldn't shake the fear that one of them would recognize her.

It got to the point where the fear was beginning to loosen its hold, but one of the inmates, the man who had been jeering about the SHU, in fact, was looking in just the right place when one of Kuvira's guards made some joke about the Great Uniter.

She could practically feel the color leave her face.

"Spirits above, look what we have here," the inmate said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the inmate nudge one of his buddies, equally as big as him. "So the rumors are true. Our humble prison is home to the  _Great Uniter_  herself."

She did everything she could to relax her features, not show the apprehension in her eyes.

It seemed as if all the inmates within an earshot all turned to her, expressions full of hatred and anger.

"Look at me," the first prisoner said.

She refused. "I'm sorry if I caused you any unnecessary grief, but if you're just here pissed that I put you in prison after you raped and pillaged the people of my nation, I have no sympathy for you."

A female prisoner next to the one speaking to Kuvira put a hand on the prisoner's shoulder. "Come on, Lee, let it go. It's not like you'll ever see her again."

Kuvira looked to her guards. They didn't seem to be aware of the conversation.

"You're right. I suppose I won't."

Kuvira must be getting used to the chi blocking, because she regained her movement within eleven minutes that time.

But, that was exactly what these people wanted.

It was almost as if life moved in slow motion, Kuvira's eyes on the inmates as one of her guards moved to chi block her again. The inmate, Lee, smiled and nudged his buddy, eyes on her.

"Arnav, no!" Kuvira exclaimed.

The warning came a moment too late, Kuvira paralyzed again.

In that exact moment, Lee's buddy sucker punched the nearest guard, out cold.

Like predators rushing to the smell of blood, the prisoners broke out into a hundred-man strong brawl, firebenders breaking out their bending and everyone else making due with fists. Immediately, two of Kuvira's guards broke off from her to help stop the riot. Kali sticks, clubs, and whatever else the guards had at their disposal joined the flying blood and teeth. And, through all the madness, Kuvira locked eyes with Lee. She broke away long enough to look for her guards, for some assurance that this wasn't really happening, but she couldn't see Arnav or Left Hand Man anywhere.

All she could do was watch as Lee conjured lightening and shot it right at her. Unable to move, the pain had nothing to do but rip through her, a faster, hotter pain than the agony of breaking her ribs during the Colossus explosion. Light danced across her eyes. She couldn't tell if she screamed out in pain. But, if anything was clear, it was that she was going to die.

Then, it all stopped.

Someone grabbed her hand, and suddenly the burning, the muscle contractions, stopped.

Her body twitched, her skin burned, and she could smell the singed flesh, but the lightening was gone. She looked up, the image a little hazy, surrounded by the chaos around them, but there was no mistaking Arnav.

Arnav didn't speak, instead collecting Kuvira in a bridal hold and walking off with her. The guard, who had always been so bashful and obedient in front of his superiors, was literally walking them out of the riot and back into the prison that had been on lockdown for the past four hours.

"What're you doing?" Kuvira whispered.

"Getting you to the infirmary. I can't be sure none of the lightening hit your vitals."

Arnav would've made an amazing soldier, and as she bounced in his arms, her head against his chest, she was glad he never joined the Earth Empire army. He was saved the fate of the soldier fighting an ultimately flawed fight.

"Thank you," she said.

He threw on a brief, forced smile. "Anytime, Kuvira."

The last thing she could see and remember clearly was the night sky, moon and stars bright. Tears welled, fell, and soaked into Arnav's uniform as it dawned on her that this truly was going to be the last time she saw the stars.

* * *

She'd been lucky, the doctor in the infirmary said. The lightening hadn't damaged any organs, and she'd just have to tend to some burns. The burns themselves weren't anything to brag about, just some really ugly flesh deformities running up her right breast and onto her right arm, an entry burn on her chest but nothing on the arm since Arnav had taken the brute of the lightening on his end. He was fine as well, a minor burn across his arms, but nothing more. She had tried to sleep once they returned her to her cell, but the pain medication they'd given her was weak, and certainly not enough to lull her asleep.

Plus, who was she kidding? She was amped up. Amped up on adrenaline, amped up from finally being able to move after being tortured with chi blocking for four hours, and amped up because Korra was coming for the first time in a few weeks.

From what the papers said, Korra had gotten really involved in the second Earth Kingdom reformation, headlines ranging from Korra attending world leader conferences to Korra having apparently just saved Prince Wu from another unsuccessful assassination attempt.

Kuvira was still working on buying the whole her and Korra were mirrors thing, but looking at Korra as she walked in, with the heavy bags under her eyes and slump in her posture must've been a perfect mirror to how Kuvira looked.

"You look awful," Korra said, a smile forming on her lips.

"So do you."

Korra decided to take a new approach to seating this time around, pulling Kuvira's mattress off the bed, leaning it against the bed, and lying on it like a giant pillow. "Who has the better story?"

Kuvira joined her and dropped the newspaper in her hands. "I'm voting you."

Korra looked over. "I don't even know what you did."

Kuvira shrugged. "There was a fire, I got removed from my cell, and apparently I'm considered one of the most dangerous prisoners here, so I got to be chi blocked every twenty minutes by a posse of four guards while out in the yard. It took them hours to deem the prison safe again, and in that time, a man who had apparently deserted my army in order to try to break his brother out of one of the Earth Empire's labor camps and was subsequently caught for it recognized me, started a prison riot as cover, and tried to murder me. Arnav saved me by redirecting the lightening, and this," she rolled up her sleeve, "isn't even the ugliest scar to come out of that."

Korra's eyes widened. "Uh, you win the story contest. Want me to heal that?"

"Sure."

"Can you remove your shirt?"

Kuvira pulled off her shirt. She and Korra exchanged a look, and Kuvira removed her bra as well. Using the water left in her first aid tray, Korra began healing, seemingly unaware of how they had just jumped twenty levels of intimate in ten seconds.

"You don't seem as chipper as usual," Kuvira observed.

"It's been a hard few weeks. I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit."

"I understand; Avatar business."

For a moment, Korra stopped healing, fist clenched, water regaining its liquid properties, running down Kuvira's bare body. Korra's eyes widened for a moment, and she recollected the water. Began to heal again. "Sorry. I just—" She sighed. "It hasn't just been Avatar stuff."

Kuvira's brow knitted. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Korra took a deep breath. "I haven't for so long, but…" She paused. "Asami broke up with me."

"What?"

"It's—no, it wasn't just a dumping. It was mutual. She caught me a few days after our last visit and said that she could read me well enough to know when I've lost passion for something. She said that the safest option for our friendship and the bond we have is to end things before we started resenting each other. She said that she would always love me, and I said it back, and I mean it, but…I just, I feel like I failed her. I feel like I failed myself. I feel like…like I shouldn't feel so relieved by ending things."

"You don't need to feel bad about falling out of love. We don't choose to lose romantic feelings for our significant others; it just happens. You're lucky Asami was so gentle and understanding about it."

"She's lost everything, and I promised myself that I wouldn't be the one to give her one more hardship, then I just end up falling out of love with her? It's ridiculous. It's wrong. I shouldn't be letting her hurt like that. I can't ruin her happy ending."

"Korra, you haven't ruined her happy ending. She agreed to break up, didn't she? And you probably gave her the opportunity for a happy ending because she's not stuck in a relationship that was going down a bad road." Kuvira sighed. "Baatar did the same thing for me."

"I could fix things, though. It wasn't like I tried to kill her with a super-weapon. It was repairable. We just needed to reignite the flame. I gave up. That's just it. I gave up. Somehow, I can manage to not give up when my Avatar spirit is nearly destroyed, when I lose my bending, and when I'm all but paralyzed, but I give up after the first major hiccup with my girlfriend. I may be doing a decent job as the Avatar, but I suck as a person."

Kuvira let Korra heal her without offering any quickly written words of comfort. Korra deserved so much more than that.

She stayed silent, and thought. Thought about what Korra wasn't grasping about the nature of love, especially young love. Was she just going through the naive despair of thinking new love can't bloom? Was she not saying something about the breakup? What exactly had she done to Asami that warranted such self-hatred?

Kuvira put her clothes back on and watched Korra. Neither of them had been awkward about it, and considering they'd both blushed like mad the last time they'd accidentally called each other pretty, this was a huge step.

"You know, just because you're the Avatar doesn't mean every facet of your life has to be dedicated to making others happy," Kuvira said.

Korra stared at Kuvira. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you don't have to stay in a relationship with Asami because you believe she deserves it. You  _deserve_  as much happiness as she does, and you're denying yourself that happiness by beating yourself up over a decision you both made. You should never feel bad about pursing your own happiness. Is there something I'm missing here? Did you cheat on her? Did you scream at her? Why do you feel so bad?"

"No, no, it wasn't like that."

"Then you have no excuse."

"I gave her a family when I started dating her. I gave her the parents she hadn't had for years when we saw my mom and dad. I would be there for her during all the ups and downs with her company. I would make her feel loved. And I'm supposed to take all that away because I don't want to live with or have sex with her anymore?" Kuvira couldn't help it; she smiled. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing's funny. I just can't believe that you think you have to stop doing any of that because you've broken up with Asami. Your parents never have to stop considering her a daughter because she won't be their daughter-in-law, and you certainly don't have to stop being her best friend. Isn't that what true lovers are, anyway? Best friends who have can manifest their love through physical acts together? Take out the physical intimacy and you still have an amazing friendship. You control what kind of relationship you have with your ex. You can make it okay, and it's not like you haven't done it before. You're friends with Mako, aren't you?" Korra nodded. "So be the same for Asami."

Korra sighed. "Why did I stop loving her?"

Just as Korra had once done for her, she pulled Korra's head against her shoulder and let her rest there. "I don't know."

Korra rolled over and snuggled against Kuvira. "Was it nice to see the stars again last night?"

Kuvira swallowed the lump in her throat. "I was, until I realized that that may be the last time I see them sane."

"What do you mean?"

"I've barely been in here two years, and I can feel the crushing loneliness and insanity that comes with staying in one's head, alone, day after day. This is considered one of the worst punishments in the world for a reason. Who's to say I'm going to be me when I'm released?"

"You tell yourself that you won't lose sight of who you are."

Kuvira glanced over. "And what happens when I'm a former murderer and war criminal?"

"You listen to your Avatar when she tells you that all she sees is a repentant woman who tells terrifying stories about who she used to be, but is finally just as scared of that version of herself as I am. You want to hear a story? Your story of that governor who got hanged because of you made me go home and think that maybe I'm going crazy thinking that someone who was that cold could truly be as mushy underneath as I thought. I gave it some deep thought, and trust me, I didn't stop thinking about it for weeks after Asami broke up with me. It tormented me once I moved back to Air Temple Island. I had a horrible thought that maybe I'd thrown Asami away to try to fix you when you couldn't be fixed. So, I tried to compensate by being an amazing Avatar and doing all these heroic Avatar deeds. But, you know what, it didn't answer my question. It didn't tell me if you had the Great Uniter living in you, the same way Raava has a little Vaatu growing inside her." Korra readjusted. "Then, it hit me: you're not some unique case. You're nothing more than an imbalance in this world. And, since when do I stray away from putting someone in balance? I don't." She paused. "So here I am, sitting in your cell, where I'll be for the next twenty-eight years."

"Can I give you some advice?"

"Not if it's about my storytelling abilities."

Kuvira smiled. "Try asking Asami if she wants to go to dinner with your parents."

"What?"

"Do it. See what she says. You think your relationship was the cause of her finding balance, but I think it was bigger than that."

"Near-death experiences are making you philosophical, and I don't think I like it."

"What do you want? Me telling more horrific stories, insulting Baatar's manliness, or finding something new and petty to complain about?"

"I don't want you to tell me about anything unless it involves the giant parties you threw after every victory in uniting the Earth Empire, and don't lie and tell me that you didn't get horrendously drunk at least once."

Kuvira smiled. "Source?"

"Bolin."

Kuvira exhaled. "I wouldn't say horrendously…"

* * *

Arnav usually didn't care how long Avatar Korra spent with Kuvira, but even his absentminded boss would notice if he let the Avatar visit Kuvira for four hours. So, as much as he tried to be as hands-off with those two's visits, he had to go in.

He just  _really_ hoped he wouldn't walk in on them having sex. If he could pull that off, he would say he had a successful day.

One eye squinted shut, he opened the cell door.

Inside, Avatar Korra and Kuvira were asleep against Kuvira's mattress, which had been propped up against the side of the bed. Korra was snuggled into Kuvira, Korra's head resting on Kuvira's chest, Kuvira's head lolled at a slightly downward angle, like Korra had slipped downward with time. Kuvira's arm was around Korra's waist. Neither of them were aware in the least.

Arnav smiled, whistled as loudly as he could, and announced that, "The cuddle session has to come to a close, ladies!"

They woke up and made eye contact in perfect unison, and there was a delightful three second delay before Avatar Korra threw herself off Kuvira, apologizing like mad. Both of them were blushing.

Arnav shook his head. "You two are my favorites."

Avatar Korra looked up. "Hey, thanks for saving my prison sifu's life last night. We appreciate it. I wasn't done learning metalbending yet."

Kuvira gave her a look from behind them, but Korra didn't let up.

The last thing Avatar Korra said to Kuvira was, "Hey, and don't forget about getting me those metalbending sketches!"

Kuvira agreed, and Arnav led Avatar Korra out.

* * *

It took some serious thought to not bring flowers or any other sort of apology, but Korra did her best. Palms sweating, she rode the elevator up to Asami's office in Future Industries, going over what she was going to say over and over again, switching words and taking out sentences even in her thoughts.

She had to wait two minutes with the secretary before Asami could see her, and tried not to take it personally.

"Hey, Korra," Asami said as Korra took a seat in her former girlfriend's office.

"Hey, Asami."

Asami set down the papers she'd been looking at and focused on Korra. "What do you need?"

There was no anger or sadness in Asami's voice. She didn't sound like she was holding anything back.

Korra swallowed. "Are you busy next week?"

With a wrinkled brow, Asami shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Because, well, my parents will be in town for some world leaders meeting, and I thought we could all go out to dinner. I know how much my parents mean to you, and I didn't want to wreck that relationship because we're not romantically involved anymore."

Asami smiled. "That sounds amazing."

Korra shrunk back a bit. "It wouldn't be…awkward for you?"

Asami shook her head. "We never stopped being best friends, and best friends can have dinner with their best friend's parents, right?" Asami smiled mischievously. "Besides, I thought I became a member of the family years ago."

Korra smiled. "Yeah, I guess you did."

There was a pause in conversation.

"Hey, what're  _you_  doing later today?" Korra shrugged. "Want to grab some tea and catch up? I've missed getting a daily low down from you."

The smile grew. "I've missed hanging out with you too."

"Perfect. Meet me in the lobby at two."

"Perfect."

 


	17. Falling

Three weeks passed before Korra started talking about the Spirit World again. Between then and the fire alarm disaster, conversation and action had been focused on making that mysterious metal bending manual, talking about exes, and Korra filling Kuvira in on the nuances of the new Earth Kingdom conflict.

But, once those three weeks were up, Korra was whole hog monkey on the subject.

"So, do you think your meditation is good?" Korra asked a few minutes after settling into the cell.

"I mean, I can reach the nothing, but I've never tried to reach the Spirit World on my own."

"How do you feel about trying today? You only have to grab halfway; I'll get us there."

She wasn't sure how to respond. Part of her really wanted to see that flower patch by the new portal, but another part of her, a part that was a bit too well read, feared a vast majority of the Spirit World. Not only that, but surely some of those spirits would know what she did to the spirit vines, and who's to say Korra could protect her from those creatures? She'd barely survived an encounter with an angry person, and in the Spirit World, she wouldn't have her bending to protect her. In fact, if she could help it, she'd prefer to never get into another physical altercation with another vengeful person again.

She exhaled. "If you believe it's the right time."

Korra smiled. "Great. I already talked to Arnav, and he said he'd keep this meeting under the radar for five hours. No one's looking for me today, so we have a lot of time in the Spirit World."

Korra was really making this an official ordeal. Did she even really care if Kuvira had said she didn't want to? It was a curious thought, but not one she wanted to spend much time dwelling on.

They both got into meditative positions, facing one another. Kuvira waited a second after Korra shut her eyes to do the same, and focused on her breathing, blocked out everything else, just like she'd practiced for over a month now. The easy part, really, was crossing into that space of no sights and no sounds. The tricky part would be fully letting herself slip into that mental void, that emptiness that felt more like dying than a place of inner peace. She could feel herself sinking, and took a deep breath, focusing on the Spirit World. She didn't know what image to conjure, so she simply chanted  _Spirit World_  in her head.

She sunk faster, deeper, beyond anywhere she'd gone before. Her heart seemed to drop, but she kept her intention. She tried to imagine landing in an actual place.

Through the darkness, a light began to emerge. It stayed at a distance for a second, and then careened towards her. Before she could get a good idea of what the light was, her senses all crashed back to her.

For a moment, she shut her eyes and tried to just establish herself through touch and sound. The ground beneath her was some kind of grass, the plant soft. It was warm, but not in an overwhelming way. It was silent, an unnerving silence that only grew as she realized that she was part of that silence—she couldn't hear her heart beat, her stomach growl, or anything of that nature. It was like she was a shell of herself.

Finally, she opened her eyes, and there was Korra, eyes open and already out of her lotus position.

"What do you think?" Korra asked.

"What are we? Why isn't my heart beating anymore? It wasn't like this before."

"Yeah, before we just walked into the Spirit World, which means we were still in our human forms. But, when you meditate into the Spirit World, you manifest as your spirit. Hence, no heartbeat, no bending, no sense of fatigue or any human necessities." Korra got to her feet and offered Kuvira a hand up.

"Where are we going first? And…what are we doing here?" Kuvira asked.

"We're going to the Tree of Time first to make an exchange. After that, we're going to go around and try to mend you as much spiritually as we can. You've made some amazing progress, but who aspects to the redemption and forgiveness I think you still need some nudging to achieve are a sense of owning the mistakes you made, especially when someone else points them out to you, and believing, honestly, that you deserve a future. It'll be fun, trust me."

Korra grabbed Kuvira by the wrist, and they were off. Kuvira had to admit, even if she was slightly terrified to find out what Korra wanted them to do, she was in bliss being outside and able to move around freely again.

And, spirits, this place was surreal. Walking what felt like minutes caused the landscape around them to change dramatically, their field gone and replaced by icy mountains that matched the sky. Nothing quite felt like it was  _there_ , always off in the distance or just out of reach.

Then, they were at what Kuvira assumed was the Tree of Time, a hulking, beautiful tree set between the other two spirit portals. Spirits of all shapes and sizes, whimsical looking and made with bright colors, flowed freely from the tree. None of them seemed to recognize or acknowledge Korra or her, and Kuvira wouldn't deny that it was comforting.

Within minutes of their arrival, someone appeared out of the northern portal. Out of instinct, Kuvira ducked down, but Korra yanked her up before she even hit the ground.

"It's fine," she insisted as she walked them both to the northern portal.

As it turned out, Korra's twin cousins emerged from the portal, thin books in the male's hands.

"Thanks, guys," Korra said as she received the books.

The twins' eyes went straight to Kuvira.

"Why've you removed your convict from prison? It seems a bit too rogue for you," the female (Eska?) said.

Korra shrugged. "She's still technically in her prison cell." She paused. "Uh, I don't know if you guys formally met. Desna, Eska, this is Kuvira. Kuvira, these are my cousins."

Instead of a handshake or bow or anything, the twins' eyes simply fell on Kuvira.

"So you've stolen Bolin's girlfriend. She seems much less threatening than when she took over the Earth Kingdom," Eska said.

Kuvira broke eye contact and Korra gave her cousin a look.

"She was never Bolin's girlfriend. She was engaged to the tall one with the crew cut and glasses," Korra replied.

Desna and Eska exchanged a look, and Eska said, "Men are useless unless they can be manipulated to your needs, and he seemed very weak. I approve of your romantic choices."

Desna glanced at Korra. "An odd change to Korra, though, considering she's the most powerful being in the material world."

Kuvira and Korra exchanged a look before Korra looked back to Desna. "We're not dating either."

Desna rolled his eyes. "Clearly."

The twins turned to leave, and Eska looked back once more. "I will accept your apology for insulting my brother and my rule through blueprints for your oversized combat robot. I enjoyed the craftsmanship and destructive power. It'd make a fine addition to the Northern Water Tribe's military."

The twins disappeared back into the portal, and Kuvira leaned into Korra.

"I don't have the blueprints for the Colossus," Kuvira said.

Korra shrugged. "I find ignoring them works wonders." Korra turned towards a way out of the area. "Off to the library for us!"

Korra managed five steps before bumping into a suddenly manifested spirit, a tall, tan, brown and white creature with mammalian features. "Watch where you're walking, Stinky," it muttered in a high pitched voice.

Korra gave the spirit the stink eye. "You're the one manifesting in front of the only moving thing in this area."

The spirit looked to Kuvira, contempt in its features. "So you've brought another human into the Spirit World. Are you going to eat this one's face and lick between her legs as well?"

Korra turned bright red, first out of humiliation that gradually turned to anger. "Shut up, aye-aye spirit! And no, I'm not—not  _licking between her legs_."

The aye-aye spirit looked to Kuvira. "Your human looks horrified by the prospect, anyway."

Korra glanced at Kuvira.

"She's not horrified, she's embarrassed."

The aye-aye spirit rolled its eyes. "Wan was such a better pet than you."

"Yeah." Korra paused. "What direction is Wan Shi Tong's library?"

The aye-aye spirit pointed in the opposite direction Korra had originally been walking toward. "Thanks." Korra turned in the right direction, took a few steps, and turned back around. "By the way, it's called making out and eating out."

The aye-aye spirit humphed. "Humans."

"C'mon, Kuvira!" Korra called.

Kuvira followed her out, half expecting the aye-aye spirit to attack after hearing her name. But, the spirit just went along doing his own thing, no reaction.

"What're we going to do in a library?" Kuvira asked.

"I was thinking about the Earth Kingdom conflict, and it began to occur to me that our problem is that we can't just use the ancient government systems we've always used. We need to find some other, unknown system, and I figured an ancient spirit library should have plenty of information on old philosophies and political systems."

"Why did you bring me for this? Aren't I a burden, all things considering?"

"No. Besides, you understand more about political systems than I do. You can help me sift through the options."

Again, Kuvira couldn't be sure how much time had passed as they walked through realm after realm. True to Korra's statement, despite all the walking, Kuvira never tired. Eventually, they stopped in a forested area, seemingly stopping for no reason. Then, Korra looked up.

"I'm guessing that that's our library?" Kuvira commented.

Korra nodded, and started looking around the area. "I don't think we'd die if we just climbed up there, but that's not very efficient."

Kuvira looked up, a fear she couldn't remember really having clutching her insides. "If that's your plan, I'll accept that piggyback ride."

Korra looked around. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this."

As much as Korra was clearly not into having Kuvira clutching onto her for dear life, she climbed through the jungle below the library effortlessly.

"Since when are you even afraid of heights?" Korra asked as she stood on the highest tree branch she could reach before having to navigate the vines on the library.

"Call it a reawakened instinct after we were blown off the Colossus from two hundred and forty feet above."

Korra looked down and back at the vines. "I just told you that we can't die in here! I don't even think you can break another eight ribs from the fall. Why am I carrying you at this point?"

Kuvira shrugged. "Because if I fall, you'll have to get down and help me get back here?"

Korra mumbled something about Zaofu not having any trees and jumped to grab onto the nearest vine. One swing, and they were deposited into the library through the closest window. Korra brushed herself off and sat up.

"Books?" Korra asked.

Kuvira handed Korra the manuals and they both got to their feet.

The library was nothing short of magnificent, hulking in size, detailed in ornamentation, books as far as the eye could see. It almost seemed to contain more knowledge than could be conceived, and the buried bookworm inside Kuvira was actually excited to be there.

Well, until an owl monster spirit swooped down in front of them. Both her and Korra startled a bit, but Kuvira went full instinct, cowering behind Korra like a child. Armies, world leaders, and the Avatar she could handle, but forget these spirits.

"Just because you've managed to make your way into here without any assistance from the spirits doesn't mean I'll let you stay," the owl said.

Korra bowed to the spirit. "If you don't mind, my friend and I would like to take a look around the library. I'm the Avatar."

The spirit loosened its stance, but didn't seem all that impressed. "The rules are no different for the Avatar."

Korra handed the spirit the manuals. "I wouldn't dream of it. Here's an entry from my friend and I."

"I have millions of bending manuals. What makes your entries worthy of Wan Shi Tong, He Who Knows Ten Thousand Things?"

Korra pulled her arms back and opened up the top one. "This is a metalbending manual that illustrates techniques that my," Korra moved aside, exposing Kuvira, "friend here invented herself."

Wan Shi Tong took the manual from Korra and flipped through. "What do you call this metalbending style?"

"Call it disabling offense," Kuvira answered.

"Very aggressive, even for the bending form. Fascinating." He swished his wing, and the manual disappeared. He opened Korra's. "'How to Tame A Polar Bear Dog?'"

Korra nodded. "I'm the first person in the Water Tribes to have tamed one, and therefore that knowledge is unique."

Wan Shi Tong flipped through a few more pages before sighing and accepting the book.

"I expect you won't be misusing my library, Avatar," Wan Shi Tong said.

"Nope," Korra answered as she grabbed Kuvira and walked them elsewhere. Once they were out of the presence of the spirit, both of them relaxed a bit. "Yeah, not a pleasant one, that guy."

"You didn't mention the giant owl when you said we'd be going to the library," Kuvira grumbled.

"As long as we don't imply that we're using his knowledge to fight wars, he'll leave us alone. The only reason Jinora said she got into trouble was because Unalaq showed up."

"No more crazy family members?" Kuvira asked.

"No. Why are you acting like something is inevitably going to go wrong? This is a learning experience, not some adventure meant to brush with death."

With the help of fox spirits who served as sort of librarians, Korra and Kuvira were led to the section of the library that held the political theory books. They both grabbed a stack and started working.

"What was the overall problem with democracy? Why was the Earth Kingdom so against it, according to Wu and your other world leaders?" Kuvira asked.

"Someone mentioned that it may just have to do with the fact that the Earth Kingdom citizens don't want to become separate states."

"So, we're not looking for a small government model. Good to know."

A while passed, comments between them more along the lines of, "There's a theoretical government system that works off randomly selecting leaders within the population" and "and why are we the ones doing this?"

"Maybe we should just make Prince Wu be king. Maybe he'll do a good enough job that the people won't revolt. Kuei did a pretty good job after the Dai Li conspiracy," Korra said as she tossed a book about monarchies over to Kuvira.

"You might as well form an aristocracy at that point," Kuvira replied.

Kuvira flipped open the monarchy book, not convinced, but slightly tempted to look through simply because some of the longest lasting government systems had been monarchies, even with revolutions. Some core idea must be working for that, even if every other aspect of the system was flawed.

Page after page went by, and Kuvira was ready to toss the book back to Korra when something caught her eye.

_Constitutional monarchy._

Kuvira's brow furrowed as she read the description. Unlike an absolute monarchy, the power of government was held by a parliament, a cabinet of elected officials who represented the areas of his or her area. Within that group, laws were passed and an ultimate power figure in the form of a prime minister was selected from within the parliament. Depending on the system, the monarch may serve as a trophy piece for the nation or would have powers granted by a constitution, such as approval of the prime minister.

"Korra, check this out," Kuvira said as she pointed out the section on the constitutional monarchy.

After she scanned the page, Korra looked up. "So…the lawmaking power is held by the parliament and the executive decisions are made by the prime minister. How is the lawmaking body brought into power?"

"Elections within divided areas. In the Earth Kingdom's case, it'd probably be the states or drawn areas within the state."

"And that's all the people would need to do?"

"Yeah."

"What would Wu, or whatever monarch, actually do?"

"Depends on what form you choose." She paused. "Considering Wu and what we can expect from future members of the royal family, I'd stick to a minimum. The idea of the royal family representing national pride and going around the nation fostering it within the people seems right up the kid's alley. It's a very important job, but it doesn't involve politics or actual ruling."

"So…the constitution keeps the prime minister from absorbing more power than he needs?"

"Yes. It would be laid out in the constitution."

"Who'd write that?"

"Someone within your family of world leaders, I'd suppose."

"How would we guarantee that the prime minster wouldn't be voted in just to appease the wants of the lawmaking body?"

"It's assumed that each member of the parliament is elected in order to better his state."

"But if everyone is elected to help their state, how would decisions be made for the whole nation?"

"Majority rules. It may not be perfect, but it should work pretty well."

Korra flipped through a few more pages. "It does seem like a better option than what we're proposing now. It would allow for Prince Wu to have his singing career or whatever the hell he wants to do with his time while still serving his nation, and all those people like Mako and Bolin's grandma still have a monarch they can revere while also giving power to the people." Korra shrugged. "I think we can work with this."

They two of them exchanged smiles.

"I'm guessing that this isn't the type of library that you can check things out of?" Kuvira said.

"Highly doubt it. Let's try to find some pens and paper. Surely Wan Shi Tong won't care if we record some peacemaking strategies."

With the help of the foxes, Korra got herself a pen and paper and was able to record all they needed about the constitutional monarchy. As unnerving as the spirit who owned the library was, it turned out to be quite the useful resource. Kuvira bowed along with Korra as they encountered Wan Shi Tong on their way out, and perhaps it was that brush with what seemed like death that made jumping out the window with Korra possible.

Even if Korra had to grab hold of her and jump for both of them.

* * *

"Sorry this is taking so long. There's a couple spirits I want to introduce you to, but they've left the last place I saw them," Korra said as they passed through another realm, a forest morphed into a desert.

"Don't you have a spirit guide?"

"I don't. Or, I don't recognize any…"

Korra just stopped talking, gaze forward. Kuvira moved to see what she was seeing, but nothing was there. First dose of special Avatar powers, she supposed. Then just as suddenly as the aye-aye spirit had appeared, there was a flying bison in front of them. It had different markings than the snot monster Opal had been driving when she broke her family out of prison, but it was definitely a flying bison.

"Appa…" Korra said, eyes wide, slowly approaching the animal. The animal groaned in response, and Korra embraced him. "I've never seen you before. What's happening?"

Appa…Avatar Aang's animal companion. What did Korra mean that she hadn't seen him before? Didn't she have connections to all her past lives?

Appa licked Korra with a giant tongue, and Korra turned to Kuvira giggling and covered in saliva. "C'mere, Kuvira, come meet Appa. I found us a spiritual guide."

She approached Appa with caution. Unsure of quite how to approach the animal, she held out her hand for Appa to sniff it. Even the bison's sniff showcased its amazing wind wielding abilities. The creature hesitated before rolling its tongue over Kuvira's entire face.

Korra laughed. "He likes you. See what unbiased personal impressions can do?"

Kuvira wiped the bison spit off her. "I'm sure he's in the minority around here."

Korra climbed onto Appa's back, helped Kuvira up, and crawled over to the bison's head. "Yip, yip!"

And, just like that, Appa propelled them into the air. As if the spirit library wasn't bad enough, all Kuvira could do now was clutch onto Appa's fur and hope for the best. Meanwhile, Korra was content as could be, talking to Appa as if he could understand her.

"Kuvira's on a path to redemption right now. Kinda like Zuko, I suppose. Lost for a long time, did some bad things, but really wants to turn her life around. It's my first time doing this redemption guide thing, and your approval means a lot."

Had Korra telepathically communicated with the flying bison, or were they just going to fly around for the remainder of whatever five hours in the real world was here?

"If you were wondering, usually animal guides would manifest as guides for the next Avatar upon entering the Spirit World, but I've never found Appa before. For a while, I thought that Appa and Aang had managed to transcend this world into the actual afterlife, and especially after Vaatu destroyed my connection to Aang, I figured he'd be lost forever," Korra said. "I have no idea how this is happening right now."

Kuvira shrugged. "Maybe you were going about connecting to your past lives wrong."

"Maybe."

Appa dropped them off in a woodland-like realm: densely populated trees, rocks scattered throughout, and a bright orange sky above them. Kuvira could've just been hallucinating at that point, but she swore she could hear wind chimes in the air. So far, it was the only other place that reminded her of the serenity of the area where the Republic City portal sat.

"This place is beautiful," Kuvira commented as she ran her hand along a tree trunk, really savoring this encounter with nature.

"I know. Why else would I come to meditate here?"

Kuvira turned around, only to find Zaheer. When she turned to Korra for some kind of explanation, she was smiling and nodding. It seemed the only other option was to look to Zaheer and hope Korra had pulled the rug under on both of them.

Sure enough, he was looking at Korra, a furrow in his brow.

"Based on the last time we met, this is one of the last things I expected to see," Zaheer said to Korra.

"She surrendered to me and is going down the path to redemption. A little bit like you," Korra replied.

"I may have miscalculated what happened when I killed the Earth Queen, and I might regret having lost my friends, but I didn't do anything that needs redemption," Zaheer replied. He looked over to Kuvira. "So you're the Great Uniter?"

"Formerly," Kuvira muttered, almost reflexively now.

Zaheer disappeared and reappeared within a few feet, looking down at her. "Quite underwhelming, actually. But, I suppose that's the nature of all world leaders. The bigger the reputation, the bigger the facade, the smaller the human behind the mask." He looked right into her eyes, stare relentless. "What was the justification you used to enslave all those people? To save them from abandonment? What do you know of true suffering? You're a little girl who was raised by one of the most powerful people in the Earth Kingdom. You've been trained for greatness, had it waiting on a silver platter."

The easiest response would be to bring her parents into this, but something didn't feel right about saying that, like it'd be playing right into his hands. Of course she knew true suffering, and no, she wasn't raised for greatness, she was raised to serve Su in whatever way she saw fit. She was raised to become an accessory in Su's city.

"I'm not going to waste breath comparing each other's suffering," Kuvira replied. "If we're really going to waste time arguing, you might as well get the ideological fight over with."

Zaheer stepped forward, and Kuvira struggled to hold her ground. "When the Avatar first mentioned your name to me, I didn't remember fighting you in Zaofu. It was only hearing your voice that I began to remember. Weren't you a little idealist back then? You told me to release the Avatar. Do you remember that?"

"Yes."

Back when life was simpler. When the most extreme emotion in Kuvira's arsenal was sadness. Back when life could've been marrying Baatar, becoming a Beifong through marriage, and settling down to create the next generation of the famous family.

(A hollow existence.)

"How did that fight end, between us?"

"I fought in tandem with the other guards. We never had a one-on-one."

Zaheer smiled. "So you weren't the one I blew into a column and knocked out?"

Kuvira paused, just about finished with being belittled by this terrorist. "I was what Su wanted—a guard, a master by her standards. There was no creativity in the way we fought, and we were taught that metalbending worked best in a group. I was naive, and I'd be a fool to say I could've taken you then. It wasn't until I left Zaofu that I began to understand what a true master does: a true bending master creates. I practiced and studied into exhaustion night after night, and I discovered what metalbenders feared. I learned how to be a force alone. I learned how to optimize a situation for my bending, to coerce, and to end lives." Something stirred inside Kuvira, and her eyes were right in line with Zaheer, and she couldn't look away. His expression had softened, but the intensity in his gaze remained. She understood. "Just like you."

Zaheer scowled. "You have no idea how quickly I would've ended you if I'd gotten out of prison again."

"You would've have had to end me if not for Hou-Ting. Do you ever think about that? How you created me through the chaos you unleashed on the Earth Kingdom?"

"I do, and judging by what you just told me, I did you a favor."

Kuvira felt an overwhelming urge to dump it all out on Zaheer, say how she never wanted this life, how she never  _wanted_  to become a dictator, or a world leader in general. She endured the insults, the tauntings, the physical injuries, and the pain of all but losing her second family forever so she could help the people he hurt. She could justify until the end of time why she did what she did, could even anticipate having to accept that all her good and intentions didn't make up for the horrors she caused.

But, what would be the point of doing that? She'd just be feeding him, showing how much he affected her. It wouldn't change the fact that there were going to be people like Lee and him and probably the majority of the Earth Kingdom who would never forget her for the bad she did, would never accept her redemption.

She looked over to Korra, and it all began to come together. The whole point of coming to see Zaheer wasn't for them to realize that they were similar after all (even if they were), but to realize that she would have to learn how to accept and get over people hating her for what she did, and not to fear it.

She looked up at Zaheer and relaxed her posture just a bit. "You're right. Because of you, I understand what it means to let go of a comfortable, old life and discover my true potential. I should be thanking you."

Zaheer looked to Korra. "You've been passing on Guru Laghima's teachings."

"Technically, I gave her the book. She read it herself," Korra replied.

Zaheer looked back to Kuvira. "You're a mystery to me, Great Uniter."

* * *

Korra could actually guide them herself over to the next location, which was…not friendly, to say the least. The land was desolate, and a chasm full of fog stretched as far as the eye could see.

"I'm scared to ask," Kuvira said as she looked out at the chasm.

Korra set her gaze straight ahead, beyond the fog. "Call it some tough love. I think it's time you faced your deepest fears head on. I believe you can defeat them now."

Kuvira pivoted, just so she could look Korra right in the eye. "What are you talking about? What fears?"

"I would've done this in the swamp, but since I can't take you out, this is the next best thing. Down there, humans are forced to relive their darkest memories, and the only way out is to conquer them and clear your mind."

Kuvira looked down. "I…don't think people get out of there, Korra."

"Trust me, I've been down there before. If you only spend a little bit of time there, you can get out. If you don't after a certain amount of time, I'll come down there and get you. Totally foolproof."

"You're kidding with me right now, right? That deep buried Avatar Aang humor?"

Korra offered a small smile. "No, I'm completely serious."

And Korra pushed her over the edge.

She didn't feel the actual pain of the landing, but that was perhaps more linked to the overwhelming fear she felt upon realizing that she had actually landed in some sort of nightmare-inducing hole than any absence of pain.

Kuvira picked herself up off the ground and surveyed her surroundings as best she could. The fog was thick, but even  _thick_ didn't seem like the right description. There was something beyond the physical quality that just made the entire area suffocating, like a small room closing in—

She shook her head; this place messed with heads, and she wasn't going to lose it within ten seconds. This was fog, and the area was walkable. She'd just find the way out. If Korra had gotten out, surely there was some means to physically climb out of the area. She chanted it in her head, that she was finding a way out. Over and over again, as she took a step she repeated the mantra.

The fog was probably— _definitely_ —probably getting thicker, but Kuvira pressed on. How hard could it be to walk in a straight line? Korra couldn't have pushed her that far into the fog, so it should be a short walk. If she'd learned anything from that day in the swamp it was that these forests had their overwhelming power and influence, but they couldn't be spread forever.

Even if…looking around, everything was looking the same, and she could hear what seemed like disembodied voices in the distance. There wasn't, like, a monster that lived down here, and that's where the nightmares came from, right? No, Korra wouldn't have thrown her into a beast's lair without her bending. She kept walking, squeezed her eyes shut, focused on her goal, but even walking was beginning to sound like a bad idea. How long would Korra let her wander in here? How the hell would Korra ever find her if she couldn't bend away the fog? This place was huge.

What if Korra couldn't find her?

Kuvira stopped walking and pressed her hands into her face, eyes shut. She needed to focus. It was the fog doing this. It could be fought, just like any other emotion. It could—

She pivoted, and everything unraveled like a broken basket. Eyes opened, and she lost her straight line. She went from walking to running. She ran, absolutely no idea where she was going, only to smack into something solid.

When her vision and awareness returned, she might as well have not gained an ounce of clarity because she was looking right at Aiwei. She let out something between a surprised gasp and a scream and darted away.  _This isn't real. He isn't real. Find the exit. Find the…_

The fog was so thick that it probably would've been suffocating had she needed to breathe. All she knew was she stopped moving, fell to her knees, looked around wildly, but there was nothing to look at. There was nothing, everything…

And the sound of a child's voice off in the distance, crystal clear, calling, " _Mommy! Daddy!_ "

Kuvira's mind snapped into focus, fixated on the child's voice. The cries grew louder, nearer. " _Mommy! Daddy! Where are you?_ "

The child stumbled out of a thick patch of the fog, into Kuvira's line of vision. It was a little girl, rain-flattened black hair sticking to her dirty face, cheeks hollowing, bags under her eyes, dirt crusted in her nails. Her clothing was stained and fraying, shoes barely holding together.

She hadn't been homeless for one night; it had been a week.

For a long moment, Kuvira made eye contact with the little girl. The girl's expression didn't waver from her trembling bottom lip and tears rolling down her dirty cheeks, but something shifted inside Kuvira.

"Come here," Kuvira whispered, barely said out loud at all.

The girl broke eye contact and went off running, still crying, " _Mommy, Daddy, where are you?_ "

Kuvira got to her feet and ran after the child. She needed to tell that girl something, even if she didn't know what right then. She needed to see that child again. She needed—she knew why the little girl was crying.

Eventually, Kuvira broke through a thicket of fog enough to find the girl again. She was on her hands and knees, sobbing, blubbering, " _Where're my mommy and daddy? I can't find Mommy and Daddy._ "

"Hey, kid, come here," Kuvira said, keeping a good distance from the girl. "I'm not going to hurt you."

The girl wiped her nose and looked up. "Do you know where my mommy and daddy are?"

Kuvira held out her hand. "No, but I'll help you find them."

The girl didn't move, eyes moving to Kuvira's left. And, as much as Kuvira could feel the dread mounting, she did so as well.

A couple dozen feet back stood a figure, covered nearly head-to-toe in an ornate green military uniform, shining metal on its forearms, ankles, and waistline. Heavy metal shoulder plates surrounded its head, black in place of eyes, like a darkened Avatar State. It didn't speak, but held out a gloved hand to the little girl.

"No! No, come here. She's not going to—" Kuvira said, seemingly out of control of what she was saying.

"Your parents aren't coming back, and it's not because you're unworthy," the figure said. "They're the ones who're unworthy. They're the ones who'll pay when they learn your name again. Come here, and I'll make sure they regret what they did."

The little girl stood up, faced the figure.

"They shouldn't have done what they did, but that doesn't mean you have to cause more suffering," Kuvira said. "She'll only make you lose every new source of love you can find. Please, come here."

"She's weak," the figure said to the little girl. "She gave up at the first sign of false hope. You're never going to find a new family; everything will just build it up and manipulate you. The only way to happiness is to greatness. You have to make your own world beyond them."

The girl stepped towards the figure, and as much as Kuvira wanted to run after her, to grab the girl herself, she couldn't move. She could hardly think. She couldn't believe…

"You don't have to form a new world to find happiness. Please, don't do it," Kuvira pleaded with the little girl. "She's lying to you. All she wants is power to fill the void of how devastated she is that Mom and Dad left. One day, you're going to do some horrible things to try to compensate for that pain, and people are going to hate you. You're going to want to end everything, think you were never worth the time on earth, but that doesn't mean it's never going to get better. It does get better. You find love again. You don't need to choose resentment and fear. I understand what I'm supposed to take away from Mom and Dad abandoning me. It's not about the wrong they did, but how I have to break the cycle. If they won't love you, I will. You deserve me. You deserve a second chance, a happy ending."

Tears flowed down the girl's cheeks as she looked between Kuvira and the Great Uniter. Kuvira stood up and walked over to the little girl. No one moved. The Great Uniter seemed poised ready to attack, but Kuvira still went right in and scooped the little girl into her arms.

And, like that, the Great Uniter disappeared.

"Who replaces Mommy and Daddy?" eight-year-old Kuvira asked as Kuvira cradled the child close to her.

Kuvira shut her eyes for a moment, almost in shock by how amazing it felt to have this warm little body close to her. "You know how Avatar Aang's love for his people was reincarnated in Katara?" The little girl nodded. "Avatar Korra saves our life when we lose sight ourselves to that void. She saves us when she shouldn't have saved us, and by some power, we form a new spirit portal. The power is too powerful for us at first," Kuvira got up and started walking, the little girl practically weightless in her arms, "and we end up fainting into her arms when the spirit portal spits us into the Spirit World. We don't accept her compassion at first, but she…she talks to us, comforts us, makes us realize that there's only one way left to go, to end the bloodshed." Kuvira begins to walk up rather than forward. The fog doesn't seem so thick anymore. "She visits once a week, healing our wounds, talking to us, guiding us as we grapple with what we did."

"Do you ever feel better?"

"Yes." She puts her hand on the back of eight-year-old Kuvira's head, cradling it. "You do. You have to remember that. You deserve better than pain and revenge. You shouldn't have to avoid your feelings. Someone will listen and understand. Not everyone will want you to succeed, to become a good person again. But you have to remember that it only matters if one person wants redemption, and it's you. You deserve it. You deserve," she sighed, "you deserve that love."

Eight-year-old Kuvira looked up, eyes wide with awe. "For Korra to love you?"

She kissed the little girl's head. "For you to love yourself."

The little girl threw her arms around Kuvira's neck, and for a moment, they held each other close, the way Su used to comfort Kuvira on those first few nights, the way Kuvira always dreamed she'd one day cradle her own children.

By the time she could see the edge of the cliff she'd been pushed off, the little Kuvira was gone, a distant memory, more like a dream than a hallucination. Korra was pacing the edge of the cliff, a couple spirits around her.

The moment Korra saw her, her eyes widened and a huge grin spread across her face.

"You did it!" Korra cheered. Korra ran to her and threw her into a hug. "See, I told you that you'd do it!"

"She didn't think you'd get out," one of the spirits said.

Being in Korra's arms was enough to distract, to forgive. Kuvira smiled, molded into the hug, and whispered, "I'm going to kill you when this is over."

"She really didn't think you'd make it," another spirit said.

It was such a strange, surreal moment when Korra took her hand as they went to their last stop, but Kuvira didn't pull away. She thought about her younger self. She thought about being happy.

* * *

Call throwing Kuvira into the Fog of Lost Souls one of her less genius plans, but it did work. Korra wasn't going to brag to anyone about it (in fact, she and Kuvira agreed to say Kuvira fell into the spirit prison if anyone asked), but it had truly showed something…incredible about the former Metal Clan guard. The last person Korra had known who got out of the Fog had been Tenzin, and Tenzin had always been very, well, collected. Korra knew Kuvira had meditated on the issues for a long time and that she was resilient, but together enough to guide herself out of the Fog of Lost souls? Incredible.

The kind of incredible that she couldn't keep her eyes off of.

"What do you do when you're in love with someone who tried to kill you at least three times?" Korra mused to Iroh as she watched Kuvira nurse a cup of tea while she played Pai Sho against one of Iroh's regulars.

Iroh glanced over at Kuvira. "Funny how love finds us, isn't it?"

"Someone's going to never let me let it go. I just wish everyone could see her the way I do. I want to scream it to the world, but it's like the universe didn't want us together."

Iroh chuckled. "You really think the universe doesn't want you with the one person on earth who made a spirit portal with you? Sounds to me like the universe is screaming it to everyone."

"Does she look balanced to you?"

"She looks like she understands herself inside, but doesn't know where to go with this new map."

Korra frowned. "I just wish I could get her out of jail early, give her a project to do. She'll never admit it, but prison is wasting her away. It's only a matter of time before she throws herself back out of balance. Anyone would given that much time with only one's thoughts."

Iroh smiled. "Then I guess you got yourself a project." He set down his teapot. "You know, some of the strongest friendships I've ever seen grew out of a misunderstood sense of hate."

"I know, Aang and Zuko."

"Iroh?" Korra and Iroh looked to Kuvira, the spirit gone, nothing more than her and her tea. "You were a Fire Nation general once, right?" He nodded. "How did you end up the way you are?"

"I realized that I sacrificed the love of my life, my only son, for conquest, and what an awful, hollow life those sort of thoughts led to. I wandered for many years trying to understand what to do without my son, and then my nephew was banished, and I knew what I had to do. Loving Zuko and nurturing him into the savior for our family was my destiny." He chuckled. "And taking back Ba Sing Se for the Earth Kingdom was a fine goal as well." Kuvira shifted in her seat. "My best advice for you is to be patient. It's okay to feel lost for a while. Eventually, as long as you keep faith that your destiny will reveal itself to you, you won't be lost to the darkness." Iroh looked to Korra. "It also doesn't hurt to have the Avatar looking out for you."

Korra and Kuvira held a few short moments of eye contact, and Korra knew.

She was undeniably in love with Kuvira.

 


	18. A Dangerous Dance

Following the Spirit World visit, everything was just…calm. Uneventful. Peaceful. Kuvira couldn't tell whether it was a good or bad thing, and part of her was content to call it a neutral event. She'd spend long stretches happy to be idle, free to just think. She tossed Iroh's words around every chance she got, mentally feeling her current state, wondering if she truly could be content being lost.

She thought about that tiny revelation she had in the Fog of Lost Souls about how long she'd been homeless for. It seemed so unbelievable that she'd replaced a week with a day, and as it truly began to sink in, long forgotten memories began to resurface, everything from dreams to pictures and words seeping in while eating, showering, going about her simple existence. She remembered how she had waited from sunset to sunset out in front of her house, walking in an almost constant circle around the building looking for a way in, only to collapse in exhaustion. She remembered wandering around her dome, losing her bearings, and actually wandering out of the dome. She remembered that terrifying night in which she was locked out of the dome, out in the wilds surrounding Zaofu, convinced every rustle of a leaf was a beast preparing to devour her. She remembered walking into an area of Zaofu she could only recall entering once or twice. She remembered how it had rained, and how she'd gone from elated to not have to drink water from fountains to hunching under a store's awning, soaked to the bone and half convinced she'd freeze to death. She remembered the begging, the hunger pangs, the fear, the hopelessness, and the despair. She could remember actually crying out what that hallucination had cried out, and the emotional turmoil behind it.

It only made sense that she had clung to Su the way she did. It reminded Kuvira just why she had been so dead set on uniting the Earth Kingdom, why she'd endured all that physical and mental anguish without a moment of doubt. Sure, she'd doubted her own methods, doubted whether or not she should've killed some people, but it was never doubt geared towards her goal. It helped her remember why, through all the mistakes, she couldn't regret what she did. It made it almost feel inevitable, like every bit of the past four years had been set out for her the moment her parents didn't come home.

It didn't hurt as much as it used to.

When her year and half anniversary came around, Korra brought in fruit pie, a supposed Air Nomad specialty, homemade and everything. Even for all the nice things Korra had done for her over the past year and a half, Kuvira couldn't help but soak in the awe of how fortunate she was to have someone like Korra on her team.

"So, second time's the charm, I guess. But, to this day, I don't think nailing my sparring partner in the eye with a small rock should've made me fail the test the first time. I mean, that's resourcefulness, not 'lack of control.' And I was fourteen. What did they really expect?" Korra was saying.

Korra had begun telling the brute of the stories lately, that day leaving Kuvira space to listen and lick the fruit filling off her fingers.

"I would've passed you even if you blinded the guy. His fault for not wearing safety gear."

Korra threw her hands up. "I know!" Korra opened her mouth to speak more, but faltered, eyes on Kuvira. "You are so lying about not having been with girls. You're practically inviting me in."

Kuvira hadn't even been paying attention, but the mood was light enough for some teasing. "You're right, that's not nearly explicit enough." She slid her index finger through the excess fruit filling and formed a v with her index and middle fingers before she licked the filling off.

Korra laughed. "You did a really good job hiding your humor, Captain."

"Bolin was so disappointed."

"Did Bolin ever tell you about where the Eska thing came from?"

"No. I didn't even know Eska had non-political opinions on me until you told me."

Korra grinned. "So Bolin never told you about when he got himself engaged to her?"

* * *

"So…you're a good dancer, right?" Korra said what must've been about an hour later.

Kuvira raised a brow. "Yes."

"Well, since they're campaigning the constitutional monarchy model throughout the Earth Kingdom, I'm going to have to go to a bunch of schmoozing events, and apparently, that involves a lot of balls and dances. And…"

"You don't know how to dance."

"Exactly." Korra paused. "So, would you be able to teach me?"

"Like, right here, right now?"

"Just a crash course. I have my first event in Ba Sing Se this weekend, and there'll be a lot of eyes on me, and I want to do it right."

Kuvira studied her. "I didn't know you were such a perfectionist. Alright, I'll give you a crash course."

Korra's expression brightened, and Kuvira wouldn't deny savoring it. They got to their feet, and for a moment, Kuvira surveyed their height situation. They really were the same height, and Kuvira couldn't be sure if Korra would be dancing with male or female partners.

"Do you bring dates to these events, or is it just you have to dance with whoever asks?" Kuvira asked.

"Both, but I'm not planning on bringing dates."

"Okay, perfect." Kuvira took a step closer to Korra, took Korra's hand, and put it on her shoulder. "I'm going to teach you how to be the follower."

"I can be the leader!"

"I'm aware,  _Fully Realized Avatar_ , but you're also a new dancer, and you'll need guidance. Trust me, you won't be talking in a few minutes."

Kuvira interlaced the fingers on her free hand with Korra's. Even in their year growing more intimate, they had never held hands like this, and Kuvira had to keep her thoughts straight.

"I'm just going to teach you a basic waltz, and depending on how good you get, we can add in flare and variations. We might be able to add in other forms."

"Sounds good."

Kuvira put her hand just below Korra's shoulder blade and pulled in as close as necessary for the dance, which was actually pretty close. Close enough for a lot of their bodies to be touching.

"The footwork is really basic for this one. All I'm going to be doing is stepping in a box shape, and you follow." Kuvira let go of Korra and took a step back. "Watch what I do, and then I'll show you what you'll be doing."

Kuvira demonstrated the leading partner's footwork, and Korra didn't even need instruction to figure out her part. Before either of them knew it, they were back to touching, waltzing through the room.

"They say airbenders were the best dancers in the world. Suppose it'd explain how you picked this up so fast," Kuvira commented.

"It's not that hard. You made it a lot simpler than I thought it was, too."

Kuvira introduced turns, but with a closed dance, there really was little more to do besides quicken the movements and add more turns.

"Keep in mind, especially with dances with a lot of spinning, maintaining eye contact with your partner is key to not getting dizzy."

Korra smiled a bit. "I was gonna say, I don't know how much I can stand the spinning." They stopped to rest for a moment, hands moving off skin. "This might be a really dumb observation, but your metalbending technique really is a lot of dancing, isn't it?"

"Fancy footwork, yes." Kuvira smiled mischievously. "But, if you haven't already noticed, that's the proper form for metalbending. It's not about being grounded or strength, but speed, agility, and quick thinking. Not unlike dancing."

"Spirits, I can't wait until you can teach me metalbending."

"Su should've taught you that."

"In case you forgot, the best I had was breaking in metal walls and bending some of that liquid meteorite. I don't think I've ever really metalbent like you're describing."

"Shame. If you have the ability, with some hard work and practice, you can fight in ways you can't even imagine. Highly effective, and in a fight as a master metalbender, the only real opponents are fellow masters. Effective, precise, and deadly. You'll be quite the Avatar."

They linked back up, the steps almost second nature for Kuvira's fast-learning student. Footwork slid into embellished turns and sidesteps, switching directions as a wild, fluid pair.

"How did you come up with those metalbending moves of yours? Were you just experimenting while fighting, or did you develop them just working casually with the element?" Korra asked.

"The thing is, nothing I did was mechanically more advanced for any master metalbender. All I did was come up with more creative ways to use the metal. I kept metal cuffs on, and I had the metal belt the whole time on the campaign. I began to add more metal to my uniform as I realized how useful it'd be to conceal my weapons on me. The metal sword and daggers are all just molded from the metal I kept on me. The real roadblocks were learning how to properly hold up opponents by pieces of metal and telling myself that there wasn't anything morally wrong about how I was using my metal."

"I've always been curious about why no one seems to use metalbending for forming straight up weapons. Knives, swords, daggers, like you said. It seems like it'd be really easy to end fights, even with skilled benders. Who doesn't naturally react to a gushing cut?"

Kuvira began to add more freestyle flare into the dance—twirls, position changes, fancier footwork—and Korra followed naturally.

"Call most metal benders moral."

"Come on, in battle, what's amoral about giving someone a cut on the cheek to throw them off?"

"Korra, without perfect precision, that could blind someone."

"My point is, sometimes, what Zaheer said gets me. Like, think about how much better benders we could be if we stopped fearing what bending can offer us."

"That code got Zaheer to suck the air out of the Earth Queen's lungs and made bloodbending possible, didn't it?"

Korra faltered, and the dance stopped. "I don't know, maybe I'm just worried that without the Avatar State, I'm just an average master bender. I feel like I should have skills like what I've seen you and Unalaq have. Wouldn't it make sense for me to master all the subelements and take them to new heights?"

"That's not your job, though. You've got enough responsibility on your shoulders, and perpetuating the innovation of bending isn't one of them."

"I don't know if it isn't. Think about how rare lavabending and even metalbending are, yet every time I've seen someone believe in themselves, they've discovered that they have these abilities too. What if I should be encouraging benders to not fear their elements and open up to the possibilities? Talk about innovation. Who knows? Maybe someone will unlock a bending skill that will cause a new technological revolution."

Kuvira put a hand on Korra's shoulder. "Honestly, Korra, focus on this new Earth Kingdom government, and if you happen to discover a new bending ability along the way, congratulations. No need to shoulder too much."

Korra shook her head. "I just can't shake the feeling that I'm closing myself off to something fantastic."

"As long as you don't teach yourself bloodbending."

"Don't worry; Katara would kill me." Korra paused. "One more dance?"

Hands went to shoulders and backs, fingers interlaced, their bodies drew closer, and they looked into each other's eyes, but something entirely different happened. As they looked at each other, the moment so pure and silent Kuvira couldn't even say that she was thinking anything, Kuvira found her eyes move from Korra's eyes to her lips.

And, just like that, Korra bridged the gap between them, lips pressed against lips.

People always used to say that kissing someone you loved, truly, was like a fireworks show. Kuvira didn't feel any fireworks, but she began to understand what that expression may have meant because kissing Korra, it was like someone had doused her in liquid bliss and it instantly absorbed into her bloodstream. Everything canceled out, and she was both hyperaware of how soft Korra's lips were, how good it felt to have the pressure against her own mouth, and the warmth now shared between them, but also caught in a place where she couldn't feel anything but the thought  _I'm kissing Korra right now_.

For all the desire laced in that single closed mouth kiss, it was Korra who pulled away first, cheeks red.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what—" Korra said.

Kuvira's response was to throw the ball back into Korra's court, but Kuvira didn't play gentle. Call her a woman who got what she wanted. Kuvira crushed her mouth against Korra's, desire becoming less like the sweet, slow feeling of bliss and more like the fast, hot feeling of adrenaline. She kissed Korra with everything in her, unwrapping her hand from Korra's so she could knead it into the Avatar's hair, gripping tighter onto Korra's shoulder.

Korra didn't back down from the move. She kissed back with as much ferocity, hands on Kuvira's back. They held onto each other's weight like drunks, struggling to keep proper balance, stumbling their way onto Kuvira's bed. They shifted one on top of the other between the pressing and parting of lips, limbs tangled in the mess.

Korra eventually secured a position on top of Kuvira, but Kuvira took the reigns. She swiped her tongue between Korra's lips. Korra only parted a little, teasing, waiting to see if Kuvira would force her the rest of the way. Kuvira smiled a little, acknowledging their little game, and took Korra's bottom lip between her own lips. Sucked a little, paused, and pinched the plush flesh between her teeth, biting down only as fast as the soft moan in the back of Korra's throat. Half aware, Kuvira felt Korra's hands move to her hair, moving in swift, repeating motions as she undid Kuvira's braid. Kuvira let go of Korra's lip and they dipped away, leaving just enough space to look each other in the eyes.

"Got a lot of pent up desire?" Korra said through ragged breath.

"Something this hot? It's been  _years_."

They molded together again, Kuvira trying the swipe between Korra's lips again, and Korra opened right up. Tongues touched, slid past each other, encircled. Kuvira, for the first time in so long, let Korra push the dance into Kuvira's mouth. They still tasted like fruit pie in Korra's mouth, but an entirely different sensory overload came when Kuvira let Korra come inside. Her mind flitted to different motions, old, faceless memories and newer, unfulfilled desire at the forefront of everything. She didn't even  _think_ about Korra inside her; she  _ached_ for it. She pressed against the back of Korra's head, pushing Korra further in. She settled a hand on the upper half of Korra's neck, feeling the bumps of her spine, the soft skin under her jaw, needing to know how the rest of her felt. If there was one thing she could distinguish between men and women, it was that women were so much softer, made in curves instead of lines. She wanted to trace Korra forever.

Korra instigated a break, separating just long enough for them to catch their breath. They made eye contact again, exchanged some smiles, and Korra dove back in. But, her lips went a bit lower than Kuvira's face, settling into the exact spot Kuvira had once put Korra's fingers while teaching her seismic sense. She licked her lips and pressed them to Kuvira's neck, dampening the skin. Then, spirits, she pulled away a few inches and blew a bit of cold air onto the area.

The shiver from the cold was less like an involuntary means to get warmer, more like thousands of fingertips running up and down her body, turning from cold to hot in milliseconds. The best words she could vocalize was a gasp and sharp inhalation of breath. When she emerged from the overload, she was aware of how she had wrapped herself around Korra, even closer now than before.

When they starting kissing again, and Kuvira got to feel those curves through Korra's clothing, time melted away. For once in her life, she was stuck in the present, savoring every second, mind not ticking past a few seconds in the past or the future. This was raw, this was hot, this was meant to be.

Arnav's heavy steps signaled a forced end to their meeting. They peeled away slowly, Korra moving to the mirror to readjust her clothes and hair, Kuvira sitting up, but not much else.

"Time's up, ladies," Arnav said as he opened the door moments later.

Korra took a few steps toward the door before looking back. They held each other's gaze for a moment, speeches running between them through eyes alone.

"Same time, same place, next week?" Korra said.

Kuvira nodded. "Same time, same place."

Out of Arnav's view, Korra gave Kuvira one last smile before walking off. Arnav made himself very clear, taking one look at Kuvira's messy hair and walking away with a knowing smile on his face. Kuvira didn't mind. The young guard seemed to like the idea of her and Korra together, and had enough sense to know telling anyone would ruin his little go-to couple.

Once the door shut her together with her thoughts, she laid back and shook her head. That had really happened, hadn't it? What did it mean? Was it just some crazy one-time make out session, or was this going to bloom into something bigger?

She supposed she had a long talk with Korra ahead of her.

If this was what Iroh meant by being lost, maybe she could handle this.

She had just kissed the Avatar. She had just kissed Korra.

_Wow_  was the one word big enough to describe it.

 


	19. Not Quite Love

Kuvira had never wanted time to pass as quickly as she did during the seven days she couldn't see Korra. There wasn't an inch of room to deny what hung so obviously in front of her: she was in love with Korra, the kind of obsessive, schoolgirl crush, overflowing lust kind of love that could keep her awake, thoughts where they shouldn't be and hands in even worse places. The kind of love where she couldn't see spots on the wall without thinking of Korra. It was like every emotion she'd reigned in over the past, hell, eighteen years, was finally bursting out, and she was both unable and unwilling to try to reign them in again.

The funny thing was, though, Kuvira wouldn't say she was happy as she stewed in this flood of emotion. Part of her was overwhelmed, frightened by the lack of control, and felt more disease-ridden than in love. Part of her yearned for some stability to balance out this outpouring of emotion. Part of her was scared to see how far Korra could take her, see how many layers Korra could peel back before she was disgusted by what she saw of Kuvira. For all Kuvira knew, the worst of her came out while physically intimate.

Moreover, though, she lost control. As exhilarating as kissing Korra had been, she had lost control. And, as much as she had accepted that deserved happiness and felt remorse for what she had done, she was still unsure about relinquishing all control. Because if Korra knew just how much Kuvira loved her, everything would change.

It was, perhaps, for _that_ reason, that Kuvira was so eager to see Korra again. To finally put into words all these feelings.

When the day came, Korra straddled one of Kuvira's chairs and went right ahead and said it, "So, last time we met, we…for lack of better terms, fucked with our mouths." Beat. "Let's talk about that…"

Kuvira rubbed her hands together. "I really like you."

Korra sighed. "Trust me, the feeling's mutual." Korra glanced up at Kuvira. "Really mutual. My problem is just…I refuse to lose what we had when things were still platonic. I'm trying to be responsible about this and well, let's face it, Asami needed me after she lost her father, but you—you _need_ me. I'm your guide, I'm going to try to get you out of jail early, and we cannot risk any of that for anything, whether we just hook up or become girlfriends." Korra bit her lip. "Can we risk that it'll all turn out okay?"

For the first time in so long, Kuvira had no idea what to say.

On one hand, Korra was giving her exactly the out for them to brush that kiss aside as nothing more than overflowing desire and end it at that. It would mean that Kuvira could still deliberate on telling Korra about how deep she felt emotionally for her. She could observe Korra more, figure everything out. She could have her control back.

On the other hand, though, what if this was her only chance to fully realize their love? What if this was the window fate had given them, and she was about to slam it shut?

Kuvira exhaled. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"I mean, I might visit less often and you'd think it was personal or maybe I'd start to feel trapped with the twenty-eight years or…I don't know. All I know is I thought getting with Asami was the best idea in the world, and I thought we'd never break up, but then we did, and I really don't want any breakups in prison."

"You don't really want this, do you?"

"No, I do! I really do, I'm just trying to be pragmatic. You're in prison."

It was pragmatic. It made logical sense. If this had been Baatar, she would've been fine with it. So why did it still hurt?

But, this wasn't Baatar. She couldn't mourn it the way she had been able to with Baatar. She just needed to move forward, focus on something else.

Incidentally, that something was looking right her right in the face.

Kuvira paused for a moment. "Wait, so you—you're going to try to get me out of prison early?"

"Yeah. Parole, pardoning, whatever."

The best choice for her future would be to let that kiss sink into her vault of good memories. They didn't need physical affection to realize their love. Korra hadn't said that she didn't like Kuvira. Kuvira could hold onto that.

It was the only thing that made sense.

They both stayed silent for a moment, feigning eye contact until Korra brought them back.

"Wu really wants to visit you, so I have to chaperone that encounter," Korra said.

Something about what Korra said relaxed her. New, painless thoughts took to the forefront of her mind.

She'd been wondering how long it'd take the royal man-child to come crawling to her.

"Aww, I wouldn't hurt him that badly."

"Oh come on, he has the kind of face people want to punch. Then, when he talks…you've come a long way, but leaving you alone in a room with a flirtatious Wu is last on the list of things to test."

"In all seriousness, what does he want to talk about?"

"I think he wants to hear you explain the constitutional monarchy thing. I proposed what you wrote up for me at the last world leader meeting, and it honestly sounds like they want to do it." Korra smiled. "Wu is actually the biggest proponent. He loves the idea of doing nothing political."

"Good to know I still have some political savvy."

"Yeah. You know, if I do get you out early, it's probably going to be in conjugation with this."

Kuvira raised a brow. "So I'd be an advisor or something?"

"Yup."

In other words, what she would've become if she hadn't stepped up at Wu's coronation. "The irony is nauseating."

Korra shrugged. "Not as nauseating as staying in here for twenty-eight more years."

Point taken. "You'd really rally that hard for me?"

"I believe in you, Kuvira. No amount of badly timed make out sessions will change that."

Kuvira chuckled. "Good thing." Another moment of silence. "I don't know how you're doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Believing in me as much as you did." She smiled to herself. "That, and believing that I'm actually worth waiting years to be in a romantic partnership with."

"Oh come on. Baatar Jr. had a good run."

More silence.

"And we all know how that turned out."

Korra bit her lip. "How…did that happen, exactly? I mean, back then, I chalked it up to you being absolutely insane, but it's not much of an excuse now. There must've been something else to it."

Kuvira raised an eyebrow. "You really want to know?"

Korra shrugged. "You're nice to look at, but I think I like you best when you're talking."

* * *

  _"Please just take them," Baatar said as Kuvira walked over to the entrance to the Colossus, ten minutes before they were set to invade Republic City._

_Kuvira didn't turn around to answer, his little issue not worth that much of her attention. "Baatar, I don't have time for your nonsense."_

_"You're not being practical!"_

_She spun around to face him, said, "How is carrying around a bag of walnuts practical?" and turned around to continue toward her destination._

_"We don't know how long this will take, and you won't be leaving the Colossus until President Raiko surrenders. It could take hours, days even."_

_Kuvira scoffed. "It won't take_ days _. Raiko and Avatar Korra aren't stupid."_

_"My point is we won't even be in Republic City until dawn and you won't have eaten since seven the day before. What use will you be if you pass out?"_

_"Have I ever shown signs of being easily faint? Where is this even coming from?"_

_Baatar grabbed her arm, and she stopped. "I'm just looking out for you."_

_She took her arm back, not violently, just with enough force for him to know she wasn't going to run away. "You have nothing to worry about. Everything's going according to plan."_

_Baatar sighed. "You haven't been right since Zaofu. You've been colder, more distant, more ruthless. It's not you."_

_"Nothing has changed," she muttered, and she kept walking._

_Masaru and Shi, the two operators who'd be working up top with Kuvira, passed by. Baatar grabbed Masaru. "Take these, and give them to your superior when she needs them."_

_Masaru looked at the bag, but didn't open it. "I don't know what's in here, sir."_

_Kuvira looked right at Masaru. "Leave the nuts, Masaru."_

_"Take the bag, Masaru," Baatar said._

_"He's not your commanding officer. Leave the bag," Kuvira said, suddenly gripping onto her cool._

_Baatar pushed the bag into Masaru and pushed him on his way. "Just trust me."_

_Baatar looked back to Kuvira, but she was about done with him. "I'll see you after the negotiations."_

_She went ahead walking._

_"Kuvira…" She kept walking, eyes forward, trying to focus, but damn Baatar cut her off just before the entrance of the Colossus. She had to watch as her engineers and soldiers entered without her. "Please, if there's something bothering you, you can tell me." Baatar grimaced, and for a moment, Kuvira thought he'd start crying. The singe of anger began to fade. He removed her left glove and kissed her knuckles, kissed the engagement ring. "Be safe. I love you."_

_"I will."_

_He smiled as he slid the glove back on. "I'll see you on the other side. Maybe you'll share a drink with me afterwards?"_

_"Maybe."_

_He snuck a peck on the lips, and they parted._

_A minute behind her engineers, Kuvira entered the Colossus and using the spool of metal cable she hadn't used in years, she shot upwards alone. She thought about Baatar, and what the hell his problem was. They'd already discussed this, and Kuvira had decided not to eat in order to eliminate any potential risk that piloting the Colossus for as long as she'd be doing it could result in motion sickness. Now_ that _was being generously paranoid. What, had he been thinking about it all day since they made those decisions? He had to be worried about something else. Why had he been so sentimental about this? He hadn't been that way when they parted ways in Zaofu, and until recently, everyone thought that'd be the last piece of the Earth Empire._

_She let the thoughts go when she reached the top level and unclipped the spool. At that point, she could easily assure herself that she'd have the upper hand. No, she'd be_ dominating _this takeover. Baatar's Colossus was everything she could've ever dreamt up and more, the weapon was a force to be reckoned with, and Zhu Li had run off with the fake information. There was absolutely no way they'd see this coming. Even with the greatest plans in the world in motion, they wouldn't be ready. This may even be the quickest negotiation of the campaign._

_She stepped onto the captain's level, surrounded by Su's_ beloved _meteorites now turned into turning balls. She cracked her knuckles one fist at a time and rolled her shoulders and neck out._

_"Masaru, Shi, everything set here?" she asked her operators._

_"Yes, ma'am," Masaru answered._

_"Is everyone accounted for and confirmed up here?"_

_"Yes, ma'am," Shi answered._

_"Let's finish this," she said as she pulled the first few levers, starting the mecha suit's first few steps._

_Everything went according to plan: she destroyed any outposts that could've alerted Republic City sooner and with the weapon demonstration, Raiko surrendered. She anticipated that the negotiations would take half an hour, a majority of that time filled with bridging their physical distance._

_Kuvira remained standing, scanning over the army, for ten minutes before taking an empty seat between Masaru and Shi. Both of them had removed their helmets._

_"You really think Avatar Korra will just hand herself over?" Masaru asked Kuvira._

_"If she doesn't, I believe we're equipped enough to finish the job."_

_"Is that what you're going to do, when you get her? Kill her?"_

_Kuvira crossed her arms. "I'm still mulling it over. With the Avatar State, there may be no prison in the world that can hold her. I need another gauge on her, see if she's healed since we last fought. If she is too powerful, then death is the only answer. Plus, the next Avatar will be a citizen of the Earth Empire, and we may be able to use that to our advantage."_

_Masaru snorted. "You might as well adopt the kid."_

_"Perhaps."_

_Ten more minutes passed._

_"So…" Masaru said. "Can I have your bag of walnuts?"_

_She sliced a bit of one of the ball turners off and started playing with it, the first real hunger pang passing as Masaru mentioned the damn nuts. "Go ahead," she said as she took a swig from her water bottle._

_Masaru leaned on his hand. "Su never taught you the metal choke, right?"_

_Anger Kuvira had been suppressing ever since Su tried to assassinate her boiled back up, and she squeezed the bit of meteorite, classlessly imagining it was Su's head. "No, she didn't."_

_Out of her peripheral vision, she watched as he tossed the walnuts into the air and caught them in his mouth. "For the record, I think what she did was really fucked up. I mean, who kills a kid they practically raised, and brings their other kids along to watch the show? Good luck in the in-law department."_

_Talking about Su was the absolute last thing she needed right then. Baatar was right, that Su's move had thrown her off, and it was showing. It hadn't just been trying to kidnap and execute Wu, seeing her parents in the swamp, and nearly killing Zhu Li and Opal—she was losing control. She had to reign back in. If she ever wanted to blow off some steam, it'd have to be after this victory. She couldn't think about in-laws and Baatar and any of that right then._

_"Shut up, Masaru," she said in a deadpan, not even making eye contact with the former Zaofu guard._

_Another twenty minutes passed._

_"Baatar would've radioed in when he arrived at Air Temple Island. What's taking him?" Kuvira demanded._

_"It's not an abnormal airship, is it?" Shi asked._

_"No."_

_"He wouldn't have forgotten?" Masaru asked._

_"If he did, the soldiers on board with him wouldn't."_

_"I'd give him a few more minutes. There's always some delay," Masaru answered._

_She waited another fifteen._

_"That's it!" she exclaimed, shooting out of her seat. Masaru startled, the walnuts flying everywhere. "Where the hell is Baatar?"_

_She glanced down at the floor as she moved to her captain's landing. "Masaru, pick those up. Shi, radio Baatar's airship."_

_Another soldier on Baatar's ship picked up. She could practically her the guy's racing heartbeat, and his voice shook as he stalled. Shuffling sounded their incompetence, their panic, as they handed the radio off._

_"Kuvira, this is Raiko." Raiko? Why the hell was she talking to Raiko? "What kind of game are you playing? You told me you would send Baatar over with your terms, and then he doesn't show."_

_Kuvira's stomach dropped. "What do you mean 'he didn't show'?"_

_If this wasn't just some lower end screwup, Baatar could be—_

_"According to your people, he's not on the airship."_

_A discomforting mixture of anger and worry-induced nausea swirled in her gut._

_"If he's not on the airship, then where is he?"_

_A burst of static revealed Baatar's voice, at last. "Kuvira? It's Baatar. I've been captured. My airship was ambushed and I was taken by force. Korra refuses to release me unless we back down and leave the city."_

_"Are you injured?"_

_"I'm fine."_

_The nausea dissipated, leaving only the throngs of anger at his refusal to learn how to defend himself, at how useless those years of whipping him into shape just so this wouldn't happen remaining._

_But, this also explained why she hadn't seen Avatar Korra yet._

_"Is the Avatar there with you now?"_

_"Yes, everyone is here."_

_Everyone was there._ Everyone _, meaning Su, the Avatar, all her little team. The opportunity of the campaign._

_She metalbent a switch so Baatar couldn't hear her. She turned to Masaru. "Find out where that signal's coming from."_

_There had to be some way to bend this in her favor. They had Baatar, surely to gain some edge on her. Baatar wouldn't talk; he had mental strength going for him, and he was far too loyal to her to give up anything. Plus, they clearly weren't torturing him, so what tactic remained?_

_"Listen to me," Baatar began to say. "If you try to take Republic City, the Avatar will never let me see you again ... and I refuse to live that way." Avatar Korra very well could be bluffing, but…what if she wasn't? What if she really could keep Baatar, the one man who truly loved her, away? Could she live with that?"Forget the United Republic; we have our empire! We have each other! Let's go back home and get married. The only thing that matters is that we're together for the rest of our lives."_

_Flashes of memories with Baatar flitted through her mind: him handing her a cup of tea the night Su took her in; him always being her metalbending dummy, even when she got to master level; all those cute little gestures he'd do as a teenager to get her attention, only for her to be too focused on work to notice; how happy she was when he said he wanted to join the campaign; their first kiss, first time making love, the proposal—their happy ending was dangling in front of her._

_Yet, could she really ignore what he wanted her to sacrifice? He wanted her to sacrifice the Earth Empire, all the people she had vowed to protect and care for. The United Republic and its people had been jolted into existence by war, and now they were ruled by a slimy politician who, all things considering, could've prevented world disasters that stretched back to Harmonic Convergence, but refused in order to follow through on his own agenda. She couldn't abandon these people, she couldn't disappoint her soldiers and followers, she couldn't—_

_She couldn't choose between Baatar and the Earth Empire._

_"We've identified their position," Masaru said._

_She had to choose._

_She tried deep breaths, but it was no use. Hands over face, she sunk to her knees, unable to bear it. This may be the only opportunity to get rid of Avatar Korra, to end this fight right here without any other deaths. Baatar had already chosen their love over their empire, chosen the wife over the children._

_The children…_

_She thought about the little girl with the tattered clothes and bloody knees who had sat out in the rain begging for the parents who would never come back and answer her cries. She thought about the little boy from Lungzhi who had called her his hero just for feeding him. She thought about the mothers, the fathers, the grandparents, the older children carrying infant siblings across their chests who had told her that she saved their lives. She even thought about people like Bolin whom she had loved like a little brother, maybe even like a nephew or son, who credited her with changing his life. The Earth Empire was united, but it was fragile. It needed to be nurtured, it needed a leader who was willing to put everything aside for its well being. So many lives had been lost and desolated because no one wanted to put their personal lives behind the good of millions of people. Kuvira couldn't let that happen again. She wouldn't abandon her children._

_Even if it meant she had to sacrifice the love of her life._

_Even if it meant Baatar wouldn't live._

_She got back to her feet._

_"You're right," Kuvira said to Baatar. "This city isn't worth sacrificing our life together." If she was to give her sweet Baatar anything, she'd make sure he knew he was loved before he died. "I love you, Baatar."_

_She had to just do it. She had to do it before she faltered, and anything more than the pure, unfiltered love for her nation made her question it. She was a leader before she was a lover. This was the only choice for her nation._

_She fired the weapon at the warehouse, the love she had for the man inside quivering, burning in her chest._

_She watched as the weapon destroyed—obliterated, really—the warehouse. She tried not to think about when the beam hit him, or whether he'd die from the beam itself or the shrapnel. It suddenly occurred to her that he might be dying in there, not dead, that there would be nothing but a phantom love and confusion, betrayal, in his heart as he died. She thought about how she had just indirectly killed the one person who had loved her unconditionally._

_(She thought about how in his last moments, he could turn to Su and find maternal comfort, the love she could never get.)_

_She thought about how alone she'd just made herself._

_She squeezed her eyes shut and inhaled, a lump rising in her throat, emotions threatening to break free. For the first time in so long, she could feel herself teetering on the edge._

_But, she couldn't cry. She couldn't show weakness, not now. Today was about completing a mission, saving her people, defeating the Avatar. She had to be the Great Uniter, and once she made it to victory, she could give the grieving fiancée a locked master bedroom and a bottle of baijiu. Until then, she had to block it out, forget about it, remember who she did save._

_She exhaled, opened her eyes._

_It was almost as if she could feel the life leaving through her eyes._

_"Masaru, do you remember when we helped Su fight Zaheer and the combustion woman?" Kuvira asked, voice even, eyes dead ahead._

_"Yeah," Masaru answered._

_"Do you remember how you described to me what happened after I saved the Avatar's father, how Zaheer gained the ability to fly? We talked about how upset he seemed at the combustionbender's death, and yet how quickly he got over it." Kuvira paused feeling every drop of adrenaline and determination flooding through her veins. "Making sacrifices." She snorted. "It was the one thing that murderous bastard got right."_

* * *

 Korra readjusted her position, but didn't stray from looking right into Kuvira's eyes. "That's a skill I've never understood, being able to compartmentalize love and grief away enough to be able to function well."

"According to those who saw your fight with Zaheer, you did a pretty good job of it."

"No, that was just the Avatar State. It…removes you a few levels from human emotion."

"Then what went into sacrificing yourself for the airbenders?"

"See, that's all me being sacrificed. What I can't imagine is sacrificing someone else. I'm talking just letting someone on the sidelines die, like what you were going to let happen to Baatar Jr. For me, that'd be like throwing Desna into Vaatu to destroy him. No, not even Desna—it'd be like throwing Tenzin or Mako into Vaatu to kill him. It's just—I don't know. A big part of me knows that sacrificing someone else, even if it is for the greater good, isn't the solution I should ever reach, but another part of me wonders…well, what I would've done in your shoes."

"You would've found another way. You would've backed down."

Korra raised a brow. "What do you think you would do now?"

Kuvira closed her eyes. "I want to say I would've backed down, but…part of me doesn't think I would've. You told me some time ago that you view me as a past version of yourself, and over the years, I've been looking to you as a model for what I should eventually become." She crossed her arms. "I can imagine you backing down, but I still can't see me doing it."

Korra nodded. "Still a little lost, I suppose."

She remembered Iroh's words. "Do you think I've been lost my whole life?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say the only time you weren't lost was during the very brief time during the campaign after you'd cut Su out of your life and before you started killing and coercing to bring order. Before the tough decisions."

"Why then?"

"Well, besides it being when you knew what you wanted and had a moral compass to guide you, I feel like, hearing all these stories about Baatar Jr. and Varrick and Bolin and all the Zaofu guards you recruited…you guys kind of sounded like a family. That's why I like it when you tell me stories about the campaign—even stories during your psycho period still reflect that family. The way you still talked to Masaru says a lot to me. Honestly, Su went on saying how your soldiers were all forced into the army, and I'm sure some were, but that's really not the impression I get. I like thinking that you took your abandonment issues and turned into this vaguely mother figure to your army and the Earth Kingdom citizens."

Kuvira looked to Korra. "That must be where the parallels between us end. I've never seen you as very motherly."

"Maybe that's an _age discrepancy_."

Kuvira smiled. "I'm three years older than you. Not a perfect frame for making age jokes."

"I will make all the age jokes I want. Also, I really want to meet Masaru. Anyone who spills an entire bag of walnuts onto the floor of a twenty-five story death machine in the presence of his kill-happy boss without peeing his pants is my kind of guy."

Kuvira shrugged. "I should write to him, see how he's doing. He really did love being a guard, but I doubt after what I gave him he went back to that kind of work. I hope he became a cop or something. Kid needed to keep busy."

She was talking to Korra, but she wasn't mentally there. She thought about that idea of her compartmentalizing her pain in order to be productive. As much as she'd dropped a lot of bad emotional coping mechanisms through her time in prison, she was dead certain that she hadn't lost that one.

After all, she was compartmentalizing her pain over not being able to get together with Korra and focusing on getting out of prison early.

She wondered if there was a better way to do it.

* * *

 Korra wanted more than anything during the entire meeting after kissing Kuvira to stop that beautiful woman's quiet, doubt-filled talking with her own mouth, but that kind of recklessness—she had to admit it—was at a level she wasn't even sure her at age seventeen would've had. The risks were enormous, and what could be lost went so much further than visitation rights. They had been blindsided by passion the first time, and were only lucky that Arnav took so many shifts. Sure, she could talk herself down all she wanted, say that she could use seismic sense to know when a guard was coming so they could separate, but it was far too risky.

She refused to gamble with Kuvira's freedom and sanity. The former Zaofu guard had already come so far, and there was no way Korra was going to let all that hard earned change get clawed apart by solitary insanity. If anything was emerging more and more lately, it was that Kuvira had so much potential, and especially as the humbled, wise version of herself she was developing into in prison. Satisfying a bit of physical desire wasn't worth all that. Even the idea of consummating the love Korra wasn't sure even existed between them wasn't worth that. Until the day Kuvira walked out of that prison as a free woman, Korra wouldn't pull another move. Something told her that Kuvira had more restraint, perhaps even more buried fear of intimacy that she was tucking away from Korra. Part of Korra could believe that Kuvira was a bit relieved when Korra took away the pressure of a physical relationship.

But, something still bothered Korra. She still wanted to make Kuvira happy, feel loved. Maybe even feel loved in a romantic, or at least more than platonic way. But, how could she possibly do that? Every romantic gesture she'd pulled for Asami did have an aspect of physical affection at some point or another, and there were, well, more options. Korra was as much committed to those four walls as Kuvira.

The idea came to her after waking up too early in the morning, with the sky still dark. She was running through the prison, trying to find the warden's office, within an hour.

She narrowly avoided colliding with Arnav once she reached the right floor.

"Hey Korra," he said, rubbing his eye. "It's not your visiting day, is it?"

"No, that's at the end of the week."

He furrowed his brow. "Do you just…hang out here now, then? Figured you'd have more important Avatar stuff to do."

Korra nodded. "I sort of do. Where's your boss's office?"

"Boss of the COs or the warden?"

"Warden." Arnav made a sluggish wave of his hand and started walking. "Are you okay, before I forget?"

Arnav smiled a bit. "Hung over, but I'll survive."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

"They let you start out young here, don't they?" Arnav nodded. As they passed office doors, Korra couldn't keep the basic questions back for long. "What's Kuvira up to today?"

Arnav shrugged. "Honestly, prison life just seems boring. When you're not here, she just reads or exercises all day. Sometimes writes letters, dances, listens to radio programs."

"How do people in solitary not get stir crazy?"

"No idea." He studied her. "Are you going to ask the warden if you can get Kuvira outside?"

"Do you think they'd do it?"

"I mean, are you talking on a regular basis or just once?"

"It'd be great if it could be the first, but I'm aiming for the latter."

He shrugged. "I'll vouch for her if you need any backup, but do your thing." Arnav stopped in front of a door conveniently labeled WARDEN. "Actually, mention me. It'll help."

Korra gave him a look. "You little narcissist."

"Warden's my dad," Arnav said with a wink.

Kuvira would make friends with the warden's son. "Really?"

He grinned. "No, I'm just screwing with you. But he does like me."

Korra waved goodbye to Arnav and knocked on the warden's door. A voice beckoned her inside, and she soon stood facing the warden, a guy who looked eerily similar to the green-eyed, black-haired, athletic-built Arnav that Korra almost second guessed that joke.

"What can I do for you today, Avatar Korra?" the warden asked in a tired sounding voice.

Was there a graceful way to put this? "Could Kuvira come outside next time I visit her?"

The warden raised a brow. "You want me to put one of the best earthbenders in the world out onto a slab of grass and expect her not to escape?"

"I don't think she's proven to be very dangerous."

"I'm sorry, Avatar Korra, but I cannot be too careful. Do you know how many prisons over the years have let seemingly harmless prisoners into those situations and had convicts escape?"

"But it's not a favor you're doing her! It's a basic human right. People aren't meant to stay inside forever. Why don't you give your prisoners outside privileges? Can you imagine what it's like to not see natural light for _years_? How can you expect anyone undergoing that punishment to ever return to society well adjusted and ready to atone? I'd be _out of my mind_ if I were them."

"The Great Uniter is in this arrangement as per the decision of the world leaders, not me."

"It's your prison. You have the right to grant her privileges. Hasn't she been a good prisoner? Doesn't she deserve just this, one time outside?"

"Avatar Korra, I cannot risk her escaping."

"She won't try to escape!" The room went silent, and Korra's best move was to look to at something on the wall before she said something stupid. "So…the risk is that she'll use her bending to escape, right?" The warden nodded. "So take away her bending." Korra recalled how awful Kuvira had described the type of chi blocking the guards did here. Having Kuvira paralyzed wouldn't make the moment good. "What about handcuffs?"

"The only reason those handcuffs worked on Kuvira before was because she was injured. Chief Beifong told me this when Kuvira was first being booked."

"Fine. Chi blocked. If she was chi blocked, could we go outside?"

The warden nodded; the deal was made.

Yet, this officially was too much compromise for Korra.

The moment would be ruined if Kuvira was hardcore chi blocked like the guards did around here. She could try to bend the rules, but the warden would probably be anal about the procedure being kept in place; the guy wasn't about to have another cover up on his hands. Would she be able to convince a guard to go softer on the chi blocking, just take away bending like the Equalists had done? She'd been able to walk and move then.

No, she wouldn't even need to convince a guard.

"I have one more request." She paused. "Could your guard Arnav be the one to go out with us?"

The warden furrowed his brow. "Why Arnav?"

Korra shrugged. "They like each other. Kuvira's actually got quite a conscience, and if there's anything besides me deterring her from attempting anything funny, it's the fact that she'd be betraying her favorite guard's trust."

There was a moment of silence before the warden went on to discuss more logistics.

"Don't tell the world leaders about this," was the last thing the warden said to Korra on her way out. _Avatar card played well._

* * *

 By the time the clock struck five, Kuvira had lamentably accepted that Korra wasn't coming that week. She blocked it out as best she could, but she couldn't help but wonder if accepting that the kiss had been a one-time thing had ruined something between them. She tuned into a probending match on the radio and tried to relax.

Arnav popped in two minutes into the match. "Hey, I gotta take you out for a bit."

Kuvira sat up, furrowing her brow at him. "For what? You've never taken me out before."

"Annual checkup. Basic prison protocol."

"Why didn't I get one the first year?"

"You did when they were treating your lightening burns."

Kuvira got to her feet to join Arnav. "Cuffs?"

"Chi blocking. Don't worry, it's not as intense as what we had to do for the lockdown. They're just worried because, you know, metal medical tools and stuff."

"Right," she exhaled.

She turned her back to Arnav, and like a child dreading a shot, she managed to relax only up until his fingertips made contact with her skin before tensing up. But, Arnav still did what he had to do, and she didn't immediately collapse afterwards. A little shaky in the first few steps, sure, but she managed. Arnav slipped a pair of handcuffs on her.

"C'mon, we have a little walk to get to the infirmary," Arnav said as he opened the cell door.

As they walked through the empty halls, they filled the air with small talk: "how's your week been's," "any plans this weekend's," "how's life's." To her own credit, she hadn't slept that well the night before and was still a little out of focus, but it was not until they physically missed the fork that led to another part of the building to realize something was amiss.

"If you're trying to break me out, stop now before I have to hurt you," Kuvira said.

Arnav opened a door that led outside. "Fortunately for me, that's not on the itinerary."

He lightly pushed her outside, closed the door behind them, and took off her handcuffs. "How is this not letting me go?"

"Because you can only go in this area."

What was that supposed to mean? What the hell was she supposed to do in the yard?

It dawned on her the moment she saw Korra, a large blanket in hand and smiling.

"You…got me outdoor privileges," she said, drinking in the scene as if someone would wake her from the dream any second. "How?"

Korra nodded. "Call it using the Avatar card with the warden around here. You talked about how devastated you were to not see the stars for years, so I figured, well, if I can't," Korra stepped closer, " _physically_ show you how much I care about you, this could work."

Kuvira swallowed down the lump in her throat. "No one's ever done anything like this for me before."

"Well, someone is now, so live it up."

Korra flicked and set down the blanket and the two of them got comfortable, watching as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Kuvira had almost forgotten what a sunset looked like, and how vivid the colors bleeding across the sky truly were. In that moment, Korra's hand on hers, shoulder to shoulder, looking up as the sun's yellow faded to pink faded to a blue sky, nothing could've been more perfect. Whereas she'd kept herself sane thinking about the past, she allowed herself to seep into the present. She was really going to see the stars again.

"I bet the skies in the Southern Water Tribe are incredible," Kuvira said.

Korra smiled. "Yeah, they're stunning. But, this is amazing too. Guess I got lucky."

Kuvira smiled. "I would've believed you if you said you had to bend away any clouds."

"I definitely could've done that, but the universe pulled this off all on its own."

The wind blew through Kuvira's hair, tickled her skin. The uneven grass scratched and caressed her skin depending on the spot. She was cold, but being connected to the earth again—it was like waking up from a fever and regaining clarity, finally able to make sense of the world. She'd put every inch of exposed skin to the ground, memorizing the texture. Deep down, she knew that part the reason she felt this way was because the chi blocking had worn off and she was lying on a giant slab of earth, but there was no need to try anything out in that moment. She could lie in the grass, the earth beneath her, and everything would be perfect.

As Korra ran her hand through Kuvira's hair, Kuvira slid her index fingernail into the dirt, collected a bit under the nail bed, spread the powder onto her fingertips.

"I never saw you as the cover-yourself-in-dirt kind of earthbender," Korra commented.

Kuvira smiled a bit. "We all go through that stage at some point. Call it a primal comfort. I forgot how much I miss dirt, earth, all of it." She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling her heartbeat reverberate off the earth, feel the earth's heart beat back. "Outside." She rolled the dirt between the pads of her fingers. "I even forgot how soft earth can be."

Korra chuckled. "You're a deprived little earth monster, aren't you?"

"Do you mean depraved or deprived?"

"Little of both."

Arnav approached the two of them, Kuvira jarred back into the real-life context of this moment: that she was lying in a prison yard, and Arnav was there as a prison guard.

"Hey, so I don't mean to interrupt the dirt fest down here, but the watchtowers are made of platinum, and you'd have a way better vantage point. My buddy just radioed down, says he needs to rush home and asked if I could take his shift. You want to change the scenery?"

Korra and Kuvira exchanged a look, collected the blanket, and followed Arnav, the cuffs back on for show.

He led them up a narrow, spiraling flight of stairs that led up to one of several watchtowers. The metal used on the structure was platinum, and it made Kuvira wonder if the entire prison was in fact made of platinum, or why they would've decided to just make this area out of platinum. Maybe to prevent metalbenders from staging a prison break by bending the outer wall?

The actual watchtower platform was a decagon with a circular little guard's room in the middle of it, metal railing lining the edges. While Arnav opened the guard's chamber door, Kuvira peered over the railing. They were several hundred feet up, with an unobstructed view of the valleys beyond the prison. For a moment, she wondered where in the United Republic this prison was for there to be so much untouched land around it.

She turned around and joined Korra on the blanket, now leaning against the guard's chamber wall. Arnav was right about the better vantage point; one look out at the stars, and she was dazzled.

She hadn't seen so many stars out at once. They stretched out like gems sewn into a blanket, like a city from afar. Constellations sparkled as clear as a child's drawings, stars clumped together to form waves in the sky. The white and yellow lights settled effortlessly against the black, black sky. It was almost as if they were lying in nothing, the same peaceful nothing she found while meditating. She didn't think it'd be possible to encounter a more beautiful night than what she'd gazed up at the night of the fire drill, but there it was. Memories flooded back, of nights where she'd offer to take the night shift on the guard just so she could peek up at the starry nights. She could still feel the ache of losing this image, as if she hadn't fully processed what was happening. This was so much more than sitting outside and seeing the sky.

For a night, maybe even just a moment, she was free.

She broke her gaze on the sky to look to her right, at Korra.

She was free, and it was all because of the woman next to her. If there was ever any doubt that she loved Korra, it disappeared right then, looking at the beacon of hope on a starry night.

They snuggled in closer to one another, absorbing each other's heat. Kuvira craned her neck up at the stars, captivated once again. She watched the stars twinkle, took Korra's hand and interlaced their fingers, felt Korra's pulse reverberate off their bodies.

"This doesn't feel real," Kuvira mused. "None of this really has. I've almost convinced myself that nothing outside my cell exists. I feel like when I wake up tomorrow morning, I won't believe that this actually happened…that I actually got to breathe fresh air and look up at a real sky." She paused. "That I laid in your arms."

Korra gave Kuvira a little squeeze with her free hand. "Seeing you as happy as you are, it's all worth it."

They looked back to the sky, just in time to watch a shooting star streak through the sky.

The last time she had seen a shooting star had been when she was a child. It was only a few weeks since moving in with Su, and she'd jumped into her bed to ease a nightmare. Su hadn't been sleeping well herself; the two of them had headed out to her meteorite collection and practiced a bit of metalbending. It had been the first time she got the meteorite to budge. Su gave her a big smile of encouragement, remarking how excited she was to have a little earthbender girl. While looking up at Su, Kuvira had caught the sight of a shooting star. She had wondered years later if it was possible to be that happy again.

"Spirits, why does everything I do to you make you cry?" Korra joked. Kuvira swiped away whatever visible tears had fallen, causing Korra to laugh. "You got dirt on your face."

Korra wiped the dirt off, and nestled in a little closer, foreheads resting.

"Korra?"

Korra looked her in the eye. "Yeah?"

Heart pounding, hands shaking, Kuvira whispered, "I think I love you."

Korra cracked a smile, squeezing Kuvira's hand, the grip strong, but still a tiny bit moist. "I think I love you too."

Their lips touched for the briefest of moments, barely brushing past one another before both of them pulled away, returning their attention to the stars.

"Just wait until you can see Sozin's Comet with me," Korra said. "Katara said it was incredible," Korra said.

Kuvira didn't even have to calculate to see how much hope there was for the future.

 


	20. Tough Decisions

"King Wu's set to arrive in forty-five minutes," Arnav said as he dropped Korra off in Kuvira's cell. "Be smart, ladies."

It had been a few weeks since Korra took Kuvira outside, and the intimacy factor of Korra and Kuvira's "relationship" had become a joke among Kuvira, Korra, and Arnav. Although the young guard had expressed apprehension about them avoiding any sort of affection under his watch, he'd come to trust that they weren't going to risk anything for so much as a peck on the lips.

Plus, there were more pressing matters with Wu. Matters that dug deeper than the pit of dread and anxiety growing in Kuvira's gut as she thought about seeing Wu again. (Even if she wasn't the one directly responsible for Wu's attempted kidnapping.)

Kuvira kept her gaze on the table. "We don't have enough chairs."

"What?" Korra replied.

"We only have two chairs, but three people."

Korra studied the area. "Guess so." Her gaze flitted up Kuvira. "Are you concerned about this?"

"Should I go take a shower?"

Korra bit back a smile. "You're overthinking this to a dangerous degree." Korra put a hand on Kuvira's shoulder. "Yes, go take a shower, but do it to calm your nerves, not to prove your worth to Wu."

Korra grabbed a book and jumped onto Kuvira's bed, and Kuvira stepped into the bathroom.

* * *

 

Kuvira gave up a chair for Wu, leaving her sitting in the floor between Wu and Korra. It seemed like the right thing to do, considering her soon-to-be position in life.

"For the record, Kuvira, you still look nice, even in prison," was the first real comment Wu made.

In all honesty, Wu didn't look, well, any different. He still wore his expensive clothes, complete with that earring his people had pinned onto him as some kind of royal broach, gel in his hair, and a blissfully oblivious saunter in his step. On an eerily similar note, she had put up her wet hair into the kind of tight bun she used to wear as the Great Uniter.

"…Thanks," Kuvira said, careful with her words.

Wu angled his chair more towards Kuvira. "So, let's get real. Are you going to be writing this constitution for the government system Korra talked about?"

Kuvira glanced up at Korra. "I don't know if I'm qualified."

Korra shrugged. "Did you write all the contracts for the Earth Empire?"

"Yes."

Korra exchanged a look with Wu. "I think she could do it. At least outline what should be in there and then we could revise it in the meetings."

"Good. Now, tell me about what _I'm_ doing in this new Earth Kingdom," Wu said.

Kuvira noted that Wu didn't mess around as much as he used to. She wondered if it was because of maturation or just a more elegant manifestation of the guy's narcissism.

"You'd be a figurehead," Kuvira answered. "You'd represent the Earth Kingdom not so much as actually rule it. Your duties would include people work—touring around the kingdom and interacting with citizens, attending charity events, hopefully doing community service yourself. You'd be a huge proponent of national holidays and anything that involves the kingdom feeling like a single unit. You'd be developing patriotism."

Wu wrinkled his brow. "Isn't that uniting everyone for takeover, patriotism? I think we should be discouraging war for a while."

"No, that's nationalism. Patriotism is focusing on the love of a country and being willing to stand up for one's country if called. Call it internal strength that leads to projected strength as opposed to directly focusing on projected strength and the enforcement of it."

Wu paused.

"Okay, I can't take this seriously while the Earth Kingdom's tyrant turned savior is sitting on the ground."

"I'm not sharing a chair with you. If you're so unhappy, come on the floor with me," Kuvira answered.

"No!"

Korra rolled her eyes, pulled her chair out, and pulled Wu and his chair out equal distance. "Come onto the table," Korra said.

Kuvira took a seat on the table, but kept hunched over. It felt too weird to be looking down at the Avatar and a king.

Kuvira looked to Wu. "Does that answer your question?"

"How do I interact with the prime minister?"

"You would be a part of the ceremony to usher him into power. Put your approval on him."

"Can I disapprove of him?"

"No. Like I said, you're a figurehead."

"So why bother approving?"

"You're the symbol for your country. You're spreading interest and cooperation on behalf of the people of the Earth Kingdom to the prime minister."

"How much power does the prime minister have?"

"The position would be similar to what the president does now for the United Republic except his power is held in reign by the parliament. So, war decisions, final approval of laws, appointment of honors, basic leader jobs."

"And…where does the prime minister come from?"

"He would either be a member of parliament or someone else who has the merits to rule."

"If he's chosen by parliament, how do you assure that the people in parliament will make the right decision?"

"You assume that your own people can all choose someone who's worthy of it. Obviously, the people who will be nominated will be people of enough merit that a state wants them as a representative."

"I don't suppose you'd want to be the first prime minister?"

Kuvira looked Wu right in the eye. "I can't think of anything more disastrous."

"What if parliament elects you, though?"

"Then I'd decline. My redemption isn't through big government politics. Offering this system is the most I should do. Besides, you'll have the government in place before I'm out of prison. If you don't establish something with a strong grip soon, it'll all just plunge back into chaos. I know the world leaders aren't any less concerned with keeping order than when I took charge."

Wu glanced at Korra. "What if I want you to be prime minister? As in, I won't approve of anyone else."

"Then you're sacrificing your entire nation to be petty and childish."

"Don't you see? You're the only person right now who has the connection to the Earth Kingdom that can bring anyone opposed to a new rule over to our side. You still have a bunch of supporters. It'd be the easiest way to transition."

"All it would do is dig up bad memories. I destroyed a city."

"You destroyed a city in another nation."

Kuvira huffed. "It doesn't make a difference. Zaofu, for starters, would _never_ join. I'm sure there are other states who feel the same way. Either way, I'm not meant to be a leader. I never was. I forced myself to do in order to help my people. Given a choice, I'd rather help the Earth Kingdom by snuffing out criminals and extremists like what I'm sure you have Korra and the airbenders doing. I'm done with politics."

"There's nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"No."

Another pause. "What if I pardoned you of all your crimes, got you out right now?"

"You aren't ready for a prime minister now. You haven't even formed a parliament."

Wu made a face that Kuvira could only assume was meant to portray exasperation. "I'll pardon you and let you out when we need you. So, a year or two."

She couldn't help but marvel at this guy. Wu had just become the difference between getting out of prison in her twenties and fifties. Could she…really turn that down?

_If it means saving you from the devil's agreement, yes._

Because it was more than putting herself up for being assassinated by the people still angry about all the Great Uniter business. It truly, _truly_ was about how she didn't want to become a world leader. She'd lost whatever had given her the confidence to do it the first time.

_You're not worthy._

Kuvira looked to Korra, long, silent, the way they looked at each other back when everything was platonic. Korra broke the look and nodded.

"I'll give you an answer by the end of the week," Kuvira said to Wu.

Wu nodded, and went back to looking at Kuvira. "I forgot to thank you for showering for me."

Kuvira blushed. "I didn't." Wu grinned, Korra bit back a smile, and there was no wiggling out of it.

Change of topic.

"Do you want to outline a constitution or not?" Kuvira asked.

* * *

 As soon as Wu left, Korra and Kuvira got out the basics: Kuvira didn't want to be prime minister, though couldn't give more of an answer than that she didn't want to be a leader again; Korra told her that it would be worth it to get out early, and that even if the world leaders forbade the shift of power, Wu wouldn't just throw her back in prison; Korra insisted to know the real reason Kuvira didn't want to take up the position; Kuvira said she didn't know. They ended the conversation with Kuvira agreeing to an answer by the end of the week, after she gave it a good thought.

That night, when Arnav came with her dinner, she stopped him.

"Am I your last prisoner in this block?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Care to join me?"

Arnav hesitated, but entered the cell, closing the door behind him. "Is…something wrong?"

Kuvira sighed. "Why were you such a fanboy for the Earth Empire?"

Arnav bit his lip, and took his sweet time answering. "I mean, I—I wouldn't call myself a fanboy, by the way. I was a devout supporter. Would I have killed for your autograph and to shake your hand? Of course. But, well, I supported you because I have family that still lives in the Earth Kingdom, and do you remember that huge massacre in a town called Qin?"

Kuvira nodded. "A group of non-Red Lotus affiliated terrorists blew up a hospital."

"Yeah, well, I lost my cousin in that attack. There was a huge public funeral, and even though you had just started reuniting the kingdom, hadn't even gotten to that town yet, you stopped what you were doing and came to Qin. You spoke at the public funeral, and well, I was there, and somehow, you gave me hope. You made me think that there was a way to stop that kind of senseless violence. You…do you remember? You came door-to-door to all the mourning families and offered your condolences. I was there, but I was too shy to say anything. I had never seen a leader do that, put so much attention to people who lost their lives. My family became your supporters from that day and never faltered. There have been some pretty good leaders of the Earth Kingdom, but no one put as much care into it. I don't know if you kept doing that throughout the campaign, but it really impacted me."

If Arnav hadn't mentioned it, the memories would've stayed hidden behind everything else that came before and after that day, but it became crystal clear then. It had been an absolutely devastating attack, the bomb having gone off in the children's ward of a hospital, killing fifteen patients and three nurses. They had been cleaning up the towns around Ba Sing Se, and the towns were hurting, but not devastated. The original members of her inner circle had fought with her against it, but she had insisted it was the right thing to do. She could remember hating herself for justifying it with giving off a good image for the world. She could even remember one snippet of that speech, how she had taken full responsibility for the tragedy even though there was nothing she could've done.

"Why'd you ask?" Arnav asked.

"Wu said he'd pardon me of my crimes and let me out within the next few years if I accept a position as leader in the new government system we're developing for the Earth Kingdom."

Arnav's eyes brightened. "Do it! You'd make an amazing leader."

She put her face in her hands. "The last time I was a leader I became a dictator. I oppressed people, I killed people, I destroyed lives. I can't allow the world to brush aside all the people I hurt just so they'd have an easy leader. What will the history books write when they see a former dictator become leader again less than five years after her war crimes?"

"But, that's the thing. You know what you did wrong. You can rein yourself in, and I'm sure the world leaders would be keeping you in check too. I want you to do it because I can see how great a leader you can be. I can see the woman you were when I met you in you now, and I can't imagine a better person to help the Earth Kingdom again. That could be your redemption, your legacy. It's such a long shot that they'd let you take up the position, so if they give it to you, take it. It's your dream, isn't it? To unite the Earth Kingdom and make it prosper?"

"I'm not the right person. It just—it's too complicated. There are too many feelings involved. That's not a good way to begin a new government system."

"When has a new system ever been incorporated smoothly? At least you'd be strong enough to keep it on track. Not like those slimy politicians."

"You don't get! None of you get it! I'm not—this isn't what I'm supposed to do. I'm cheating my way out of my sentence. I—"

Arnav's radio went off, something about a scuffle in cell block A. He looked back to Kuvira with a sad face. "I have to go deal with this. And the only way you'd be cheating yourself out of your sentence would be if they release you before you learn anything. You're far past that." He got up. "By the way, your friend Masaru got confirmed to visit you this week."

Masaru would understand. Yes, he was just the guy she needed to see.

He understood what went on behind closed doors.

* * *

 She'd only started writing to Masaru within the last few weeks, but Masaru had been eager to exchange letters, had requested to visit her within a single set of letter exchanges. And, if she were honest, she was excited to see him. Through all the visits, no one from her true old Zaofu life, her friends while she was a guard, had come. Nerves still prickled, but she was excited.

The moment Masaru walked into her cell, she hugged him. She couldn't even say what came over her—her best guess was some part of her that was still a Zaofu guard at heart had clung to her fellow guard like a long lost sibling. He laughed as he hugged her back.

"Who are you and what did they do with the Great Uniter?" he joked.

She pulled away and said, "My name's Kuvira and the Great Uniter was killed in a spirit weapon accident."

"Well, soldier Masaru was killed in a rather unexpected Colossus explosion."

"Did you get jail time?"

"One year. I got parole for good behavior."

She thought back to what she had read in the newspapers. "Why didn't you say you were forced to join? Those soldiers didn't get jail time."

"Because I wasn't forced into it. Look, it wasn't that bad. A bunch of us ended up in the same prison, so we formed a prison gang and no one really bothered us. Everyone especially leaved me alone." He glanced around her cell. "I can't tell if this is better or worse than what I did."

"For me, it's better than being in the general population. There was a fire evac some months back, and the prisoners started a riot just so one guy could try to kill me."

"You didn't fight back?"

"I was chi blocked. I'm considered dangerous." She paused. "Has Su invited you back to Zaofu?"

"No, but it's okay. There's no going back to being a guard. Right now, I work a basic minimum wage job, but I'm trying for better work. It's just hard because I can't do jobs that involve a lot of physical activity."

Kuvira furrowed her brow. "What do you mean? You were one of the best metalbenders and fighters I knew."

Masaru smiled a bit. "Not so easy with my legs."

Kuvira's breath caught in her throat. "Your legs?"

He pulled up both his pant legs to reveal fake limbs underneath. "Shi and I got caught in the explosion. The cockpit kind of protected you and Korra, but we were pretty exposed, and high up. I got the worst of it—mangled my legs. He broke some bones, but he's alright now. But, it was kind of a blessing—I got to serve out part of my sentence in the hospital."

She couldn't get her eyes off Masaru's legs.

He…He lost his legs?

He lost his legs working for her.

She looked back up at Masaru and began to feel vaguely ill.

"Kuvira…?" he said, voice softer, brow wrinkled. "Are you crying?"

She then began to feel the burn of the tears in her eyes.

"Masaru…" she said.

"What?"

He didn't get it. Spirits, he didn't _get_ it. "Look what I did to you."

"Did what?" He paused. "Are you talking about my legs?" She broke eye contact and squeezed her eyes shut. "Kuvira, no, that's crazy. Stop."

She wiped her face off with both her hands. "This is why I can't become a public figure again. Power corrupted me, and everyone else has to deal with lifelong consequences. I can't come out better than I was before. It's not—"

"What are you talking about?"

She forced herself to look up at Masaru. "Wu wants to get me out of prison within the next few years if I accept the position as prime minister."

Masaru's expression was blank. "What's a prime minister?"

"Like a president who's brought in and balanced out by an elected council."

"Whoa, that's huge! Congratulations, Cap!"

She shook her head. "Why are you excited for me? How could you ignore all the horrible things I did enough to want to give me a second chance?"

"Honestly, I don't think you did anything that bad. Being willing to kill Baatar was pretty scary, but everything before then seemed fine to me."

"The weapon. The foreign bender purge. The killings…"

"We were in war, and I know it was the guys running the reeducation camps—"

"Labor camps."

"Labor camps who were taking it to the extreme with the fire and waterbenders. You had those guys executed. You never supported the racism."

"Yeah, but I killed them. Masaru, come on. You _know_ how bad it went. You can't possibly have not realized this."

He exhaled. "Look, I know I'm just a well trusted soldier. I've been that ever since Zaofu. I've never been the one making the decisions, or the one who feels the real weight of consequences. Yes, I watched you coerce some states into joining you, develop the spirit vine technology into a weapon, nearly kill the Avatar, and actually kill high ranking Earth Empire officials for grave mistakes, and it hurt to watch, and I was sad that you ended up so hardened. And, based on all that, you'd think that yeah, I believe power corrupts you. But, you know what would be different between being the interim president and this prime minister gig? You've learned restraint, and you've learned how to be humble. If there was any indication of that, I got it from the fact that you are treating me the way you used to back in Zaofu. You've changed. Spirits, you've done what I thought was impossible: you've gained your humanity back. If Baatar had died, if you had won that battle through that kind of massacre, we wouldn't have been having a funeral for just Baatar, it would've been for you too. But, look at you: you aren't the Great Uniter anymore. And, as Kuvira, you could change so many lives stepping up."

"How do you not blame me for what happened to you, you personally? You didn't even want to man the cockpit. I insisted, because of how close I felt to you, how much I trusted you. I trusted you, but I obviously didn't give you any reason to trust me. I let you nearly die."

"You were blown sky high out of a twenty-five story robot. Name one thing you could've done to prevent the Avatar and her friends from blowing up the Colossus."

"I could've stopped! I could've not needed the United Nations. I was out of my mind then! I probably wouldn't have even mourned your properly! Why aren't you letting me shoulder the blame for not taking care of the people I vowed to care for?"

"Because I was a _soldier_! I _pledged my loyalty to the Earth Empire_. I _believed in you_. I accepted the fact that I might have to die to bring order. Even Shi, who you constrained into the army, eventually grew to believe in the cause as much as the rest of us. Everything got out of hand and you started taking a very end justifies the means approach to it, but it doesn't mean that we all faked the loyalty and faith in you. You haven't been shouldering the guilt of everything the Earth Empire army did this whole time, have you? I thought you said Avatar Korra had really been helping you."

Kuvira broke eye contact. "She is."

Masaru sighed. "Please, Kuvira, for our seven year friendship, through all the insanity we went through, don't blame yourself for what happened to me. I'm fine. I served my time and now I'm getting my life back on track. That's what everyone's doing." He put a hand on her shoulder, and she shivered under his touch. She hadn't let Masaru this into her personal bubble since they were guards in Zaofu. "And, once you take that early plea out of here, you'll get to do the same thing. But, in a usual Kuvira fashion, you'll be doing it in a much more grandiose manner than the rest of us. I'll be voting for you."

"I wouldn't be voted in."

He rolled his eyes. "Then I'll support you from afar." He paused. "So, have you told Avatar Korra about me? We met when we were trying to get the airbenders back, but I doubt she remembers me." He paused. "You know what I remember most clearly about that fight?"

"What?"

"How we both got blown off a cliff by that combustion bender in the first five seconds of confrontation."

Kuvira smiled. "You never picked up fighting all that well."

Masaru smiled back. "Hey, I don't have legs. You can't insult me anymore." He paused. "By the way, if I'm the first one to ask, can I have your Earth Empire uniform and sell it for big bucks? Wu hasn't given much relief to disabled veterans."

"How much would it sell for if I told you it's ripped up, covered in sweat, blood, and vomit and hasn't probably hasn't been washed in two years?"

"Assuming it's all your bodily fluids, it'll sell for more. There are weird people who idolize you."

"That's…not encouraging, but sure, take it once I'm out."

"Glad to have you back, Kuv. Even if you are a weepy mess."

* * *

 "The truth is, I may think I deserve happiness, but I don't think I deserve adoration or a place back in the public sphere," Kuvira admitted to Korra when her deadline rolled around.

They sat on Kuvira's bed, backs against the wall, leaning onto one another.

"So you're going to decline Wu's offer?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I feel like it's wrong to decline that offer, and it's not like I don't want to get out of here early. Of course I do. But it doesn't feel like the right way to do it." She turned so she was facing Korra. "But, then there's you. Us."

"A few years is a lot easier to swallow than twenty-eight."

"And what about us? We've been saying a whole lot about love, but what does it really mean if we can't be together?"

"It means we have a non-physical relationship until you're released."

"And you'd wait that long?"

"Of course."

Kuvira looked away. "No, I don't want you to be tied up as much as I am. Even if it is only a few years, you should be out with other girls, having your needs met. You're not in jail, I am."

"Did you ever think that I don't want to be with other girls?"

"But I don't want to hold you back." Kuvira paused. "How about this: you have my blessing to see other girls if you feel the need, and if, when I'm released, you still want to be with me, we'll be together like normal girlfriends."

"That's not a terrible idea. Wu's estimating a few months to an end point at five total years in prison so…about two and a half more years. Depends on how bitter the world leaders are feeling and how well he—well, _we_ can talk."

"And you'll still visit?"

Korra's eyes lit up. "So you'll do it?"

There was still a knot in Kuvira's stomach, but what choice did she really have? "If you convince the Earth Kingdom I'm worthy, I'll do whatever I can. Terms are five years, anyway."

"Guess I'll have to start preparing you for reintegration back into society."

"Don't freak out if the world leaders shut you and Wu down in five seconds."

"Are you kidding me? I already have Eska and Desna in support. This will be a cinch."

Even if part of her was hoping it would be shot down in the world leader meetings, she smiled for Korra.

Being able to make more memories like that night stargazing, to be with Korra outside of this prison cell, would make it all worth it.

 


	21. Risky Betting

**177 AG, Winter**

"It's almost 178, and I still have no idea how to be a prime minister," Kuvira said as she paced the short distance of her cell. "What are you doing? Why aren't you helping me like you said you would? What if being in here destroyed all my social skills? What if I become a puppet leader like every other idiot the Earth Kingdom has had rule them?"

Korra sat up from her spot on Kuvira's bed. "You don't spend every day freaking out like this, do you? I'm pretty sure that's killed people, or at least caused major medical problems."

"That's not the point!"

"Yes, it is! Of course you should be thinking about what'll happen once you're out, but it also doesn't mean you kill yourself worrying. What do you think will make you feel better?"

She put her head in her hands. "I don't know. I didn't feel this way when I became the interim president. I just knew what I needed to do and went for it. I adapted to whatever challenges I didn't know directly how to deal with."

"Then do that."

Kuvira gave Korra a dirty look. "The last system was a bit flawed. If you recall, it resulted in _super weapons_."

Korra put her hands out in defeat. "Okay, okay, not the perfect method. Well, you've spent the last almost three years reading history books. What did those leaders do right that you should emulate, and what did they do wrong that you should avoid?"

"That's the problem, though, Korra. No one has attempted this system before so we don't know what makes for a good leader within the system."

"I thought you said you were basically going to be a president. So, simple: don't become Raiko."

"It's not that simple. Politicians can start out with every intention of serving the people, but there's always other forces at play. When I was a dictator, there wasn't anyone but my word to follow so I had the power to keep everything on track and help the people. But, with parliament and the looming fact that I need to appease whichever new group of representatives come in every five years, what if that corrupts me?"

Korra raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you tell me that you don't want to stay in for more than one term? Just keep that in mind and just work to help the people."

"What if they make me serve for more than one term? What if I go back to that crazy devotion to the people like when I was uniting the Earth Kingdom?"

"I don't think within the new system you could pronounce yourself empress again. Nor do I really believe that you would want to become empress again. After all, you're actually the head of the kingdom."

"What if they elect idiots to parliament?"

"Yeah, but didn't the constitution say that everything has to be signed by the monarch before it becomes a law? Well, Wu trusts you a lot, and will probably trust you more than the houses, so you have leverage there. Besides, it is about balance, so I don't think the parliament will be automatically taken over by idiots. Didn't you write out that there are requirements for even being allowed to be nominated to run for house chairs?" Kuvira nodded. "Seems like a pretty strong system. And, well, of course there will be politicians, but just keep a level head, which I will help you do, and everything will be fine."

Kuvira exhaled, pausing. "And what about being in the public eye like that?"

"You already did that as the Great Uniter."

"Yes, but I also threw dissenters into labor camps."

"Then…don't throw dissenters into labor camps?" Korra sighed, and grabbed Kuvira by the back of the shirt before thrusting her down to sit beside her. "I'll admit, it's not easy when public opinion is low, but you have to remember that people always want to blame someone, and they forget how much work goes into being a world leader. It doesn't mean you don't take constructive criticism when it's needed, but you also need to take the poll numbers with a grain of salt." Korra wrapped her arms around Kuvira. "Not everyone's going to like you, but honestly, I'd only be really concerned if _I_ like you. Maybe some of the Beifongs and your former soldiers."

Kuvira smiled. "Do you still like me?"

"I guess so." Korra squeezed her. "You know, if you want to go back in Wan Shi Tong's library, or to go visit Iroh, we could take a Spirit World break."

"You know, next time we do go the Spirit World, you should come through the Republic City spirit portal and I'll come in by meditating. That way…"

Korra laughed. "We wouldn't have to climb up to the library?"

* * *

  **178 AG, Spring**

Kuvira took a deep breath, relaxing herself as best she could as she sat on a chair in front of the mirror of her main room, thread taut between her fingers. Especially now that she often saw Wu once every few months at random, she'd taken a more keen interest in not looking disheveled. The tweezers they'd given her didn't have a great grip, so she preferred using threading as a primary shaper, then using the tweezers to clean up any stray hairs. She began the back and forth motion of the thread, savoring the familiar bite of the string.

"Kuvira!"

For someone who used to pride herself on being calm in any and all situations, hearing an unfamiliar voice call her name gave her quite the scare. So much so that there was a horrible moment in which Kuvira swore she'd threaded a solid chunk of her right eyebrow off.

As she scrambled to check symmetry in the mirror, two familiar faces jumped into the picture.

"We thought you'd either be crying or exercising," Wing said.

Kuvira set down her thread and ran her index finger through her eyebrows. No damage done, thank the spirits. "Doing either of those for three years straight would kill those tougher than me." She put all her beauty supplies into their little box and stuck them away in the bathroom. "I gotta admit, I thought Huan would come visit before you two. I'm not expecting an Opal visit for another twenty years, going by the Beifong woman tradition. What's up?"

Wing and Wei exchanged a look, and Wei spoke up. "Don't take this as us forgiving you because it got pretty crazy between all of us, and, you know, it takes some contemplation. But, we need you."

"It's the best kept secret in Zaofu that you're the best statistician in Beifong residence," Wing said.

There was an Aiwei joke in what Wing said, but Kuvira wasn't sure if Wing meant for her to laugh.

Kuvira studied the twins, and their intentions finally surfaced. "Earth Rumble LXXXIV is soon, isn't it?"

The twins nodded. "So we wanted to make some serious cash in the pools this year," Wei said, leaning onto her table. "And we'd be idiots to ignore the fact that you've accurately predicted every probending and Earth Rumble tournament outcome for the solid five years you were a guard."

She raised a brow. "Give me a single good reason I should guide your betting."

They exchanged a look, and for a moment, Kuvira thought the twins would actually hunker down and say because deep down, they cared about her, that they were some weird form of family, and family did family favors.

"You can't go to commissary, right?" Wei asked.

"No."

"What if we brought you…candy, instant noodles, varri-cakes…"

"Baijiu?" Wing suggested.

"You two couldn't sneak alcohol in here," Kuvira said.

"Is that what you want?" Wei asked.

"No! Guys, come on, I don't want anything like that."

She paused, waiting for the twins to get it. They didn't.

"Now, do you guys still keep the log with all the fighters' stats?" Kuvira asked. "I need a refresher." Wing pulled a large stack of cards out of his jacket pocket and set them on the table. "Give me an hour. Turn on a game if you want."

One of the twins turned on the radio, a sports announcer's prattling filling the air as Kuvira worked through a tournament bracket. She'd never tell the twins, but this mental exercise was exactly what she needed. Lately, her mental exercise had involved reading in Wan Shi Tong's library for hours or teaching Korra how to actually play Pai Sho, and her brain was ending up much like her muscles: stuck at a certain goal but not improving from a lack of diversity.

"Who's hosting this year?" Kuvira asked as she slid fighters' cards around the table.

"Chu," Wing answered.

"He have a favorite?"

"No one major. Generally speaking, everyone's putting their money on the Dragon."

Kuvira spotted the Dragon's card and scanned it over: 6'3", average build, young, known for launching his opponents so high that they'd land in the crowded areas of the audience.

He'd just started fighting then.

He would seem like a good contender to win, especially with so few earthbenders able to work with the attacks on their base. But, there was also the matter of the Catgator, a guy who'd been participating in the tournament for years; a good-looking guy who had legions of adoring fans as the kind of sheer strength moves that crowds loved. Guy was also known for changing the consistency of the arena floor in order to trip off his opponents. She set the Dragon right below the Catgator in the bracket.

"You don't think the Dragon will win?" Wei asked.

"They'll throw the Dragon in after a couple amateurs go at it, and he'll win continuously, working through the remaining guys. When he faces off with the Catgator, he'll be tired, giving the Catgator the rest he so-called deserves according to the people spewing yuans into the system. If the Dragon wins, it'll be a good old-fashioned hard worker moving through the ranks, and if Catgator wins, it will be a win at last. The Dragon's fighting style is taxing, so I'm betting the Catgator." She put up a finger. " _However_ , the Hunter will win. Whoever beats the other at the semi-final round will be pretty self-confident, and the Hunter uses that to his advantage. Dust play, either way. Only those proficient with seismic sense are good at fighting against those types, and no one has been good at that since your grandmother."

She sat back so the twins could take note.

"You're still a terrible narcissist, aren't you?" Wei said.

She shrugged. "Let's see how much money you get, and then you can tell me."

The twins recorded Kuvira's predictions, and collected their stuff to leave.

"Hey Kuvira?" Wing said as they headed out.

"What?"

"Well, it's…pretty loud over at the house," Wing said. "Maybe we could come back here to listen to Earth Rumble LXXXIV with you. You could invite Korra if you want. Junior says you talk about her a lot in your letters."

She turned away from them, so they couldn't see her smile. "Sounds nice."

* * *

  **179 AG, Fall**

They didn't come often, but on the weeks that Korra was too busy to visit Kuvira, she found her cell more suffocating than usual. When it got bad, when her from a few years back would've started having panic attacks, she meditated into the Spirit World alone. Part of her still feared the Spirit World, but if she was ever going to face her fears in the world once she was released, she ought to start working on the skill wherever she could.

That day, her single goal was to face her fear of entering Wan Shi Tong's library alone. Wan Shi Tong himself seemed to not hate her as much as he did most humans, and she'd been consistently adding to his metalbending collection for years then. The spirit didn't act kindly toward her, of course, but he hadn't bothered her yet.

But, all their interactions had also been with Korra.

She climbed through the forest area, her mind tricking her into the exhaustion her body wasn't feeling as she stood at eye-level to the windows. She made sure her latest manual was still tucked into her waistband, took a deep breath, and swung in through one of the windows. The landing was perfect, far more perfect than she thought she had the agility for, and she walked in through the main hall without missing a beat.

Wan Shi Tong swooped down within seconds.

"You again," the spirit said.

Kuvira bowed and pulled out the manual. "Today's payment."

He accepted the book. "The Avatar isn't with you today."

Kuvira shook her head. "She was busy."

Wan Shi Tong's eyes flitted around the room before boring into Kuvira. "What are you going to look at on your own?"

Kuvira felt about the size of an ant looking up at the owl. "I'm trying to read up more Air Nomad texts, trying to understand how to achieve an inner peace. Maybe look at some Earth Kingdom history books I haven't seen yet."

There was a moment in which no one spoke, and Kuvira feared the spirit would finally start attacking her. But, the owl looked past her.

"My Knowledge Seeker can help you," Wan Shi Tong said.

One of the fox spirits ran up and only started moving when Kuvira followed. It led her deep into the library, and it slowly began to dawn on her what it meant that Wan Shi Tong was letting her roam freely. Did he…trust her?

The fox led her to a dark room, that, with the flick of a lever, appeared to be a planetarium. "This is nice, but I'm looking for history books," Kuvira said to the fox.

The fox didn't budge, and eventually gave up, finding the books she was looking for on her own.

But, in all honesty, she wasn't sure what she was looking for. She flipped through book after book, stories about good leaders, bad leaders, fictional leaders, historical leaders, and everyone in between. She wasn't sure what she was reading for, and the words soon started bleed together. She set down the last war book she'd been looking at to rest her forehead against the shelf. What was she doing? She'd been reading books for the past year and it hadn't gotten her any closer to knowing how to be a good leader. And, spirits, she was going to be released in a little over a year. She'd lost all contact with the outside world, didn't know how to interact with anyone other than people who had to or sought her out. How on earth was she supposed to lead an entire nation, a nation that had sat in a void of power for five years?

She'd already failed her nation once with the best intentions in the world, so how was she supposed to improve the nation with half the conviction and none of the confidence of her former self?

Seemingly without thinking, she put the books back, left the library, meditated back into the physical world.

Was that, what she'd done back there even considered fearlessness, or was it just her being comfortable? At that point, it seemed like the only thing Kuvira had mastered—finding a routine and sticking to it.

She turned on the radio, flipped it to a news station, and picked up the latest book Korra had given her, some unofficial history of the Earth Empire.

The newscaster didn't get through one story before Kuvira had shut the Earth Empire book in disgust. She'd learned so much reading those books before, so why were they so meaningless now? Had she really learned all she could pick up from books? If books weren't a source of knowledge anymore, what was?

* * *

  **180 AG, Summer**

"Do you consider yourself a natural leader?" Kuvira asked Korra as they sat in Kuvira's cell, another day only different than the others as the days dwindled down toward Kuvira's release date.

"Honestly, no. I turned into a pretty decent leader, but it took some major stumbling. I don't know if you remember the year of the Equalist movement or Harmonic Convergence, but I could've handled those situations a lot better. It's also a miracle that I got as far as I did considering how sheltered I was growing up." Korra smiled. "You're a more natural leader than me."

"Then I don't know how to trust my instincts anymore."

"That, or you aren't trusting your instinct to trust your instincts. I feel like you're assuming that everything you ever thought as a leader was bad, but it wasn't, and you secretly know that." She rested her hand over Kuvira's. "I don't suppose there's something else that you're afraid of, besides being a bad leader?"

"I don't care about being a bad leader, I care about not failing my people again. I'm afraid of taking them in the way I did when I was the Great Uniter. The scary part, for me, wasn't that I let them justify what I did. It was that I disregarded people who actually loved me for this abstract love and celebrity that came from having such loyal supporters. But, I don't want to stop loving them. It keeps me doing everything in my power to help them." She sighed. "How do normal leaders do it? Balance putting your loved ones or the people first?"

"Understand that love isn't something that should be applied to a people. You love the individual people within a group, but when it comes to the people as a whole, you focus on what will be good for the society. Sometimes, you have to be tough for them, not give them everything they want. You have to be pragmatic about it. You can't please everyone. But, you still maintain your connection with the people by actually going out there and interacting with them. In the end, though, as long as the issue isn't going to cost lives, you should always put your loved ones first. There was a great piece of advice Iroh once told Aang that he said might be able to help me too, and it was that power is overrated, that love and happiness is a fine choice."

Kuvira frowned. "If I'm supposed to pick love and happiness, why am I accepting this power?"

"Because as long as you keep reminding yourself that you're finishing the promise you made to the people of the Earth Kingdom, it isn't about power." She paused. "That's how you're thinking of it, right? That, really, you're just finishing the job you set out to do eight years ago. Finishing your own history book on a good note."

"How did you empower yourself after you were poisoned?"

"I reconnected with Raava when I went into the Spirit World to rescue some tourists who had been taken by the angry spirit vines. She assured me that she had been within me the whole time, and told me that I was more powerful than I thought I was." Kuvira nodded, not exactly expecting divine intervention. "You know, one of the wisest things Tenzin ever told me was that I'm not defined by Raava, and that I could find power within my own spirit. When Iroh said you were lost, I think he was talking about this. You hadn't found your own spirit within you."

"Do you know where to find it?"

Korra smiled. "I don't think it's some _where_ necessarily. But, you'll know it when you find it." Korra paused. "Hey, you still love yourself, right? I'm not letting you lose that, and I will throw you back into the Fog of Lost Souls if you forgot it."

She thought about the photos Su had sent her of her childhood. Sure enough, Kuvira had never been in any family photos, but there were a fair number of her with one or two of the Beifongs, several from her old apartment of her with her friends…seeing that happy young face, she did want nothing more than to make that child, that young woman proud, hopeful for the future.

"I'm just scared that this future isn't what I need."

Korra paused. "Think of it this way: once you're out of here, I can finally shut us together in a room and kiss you."

At least looking at Korra felt completely right. "What I'd give to kiss you right now."

"Less than six months now."

Kuvira took Korra's hand. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

* * *

  **180 AG, Fall**

"Alright, we've officially made it to the one month marker," Wu said as they sat around Kuvira's cell, the guards having allowed a third chair to be brought in exactly one year before. Wu wiped his brow. "Finally. It's been exhausting keeping this plan in motion."

Kuvira and Korra gave him dirty looks.

He readjusted his seat. "Anyway, I'm going to announce that I'll be giving you a full pardon later today, get everything in motion. Hopefully, the press will sink into it, and your supporters will come out of hiding." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Honestly, the only people who really hated you were the Beifongs and the people who were sent to prison camps. Otherwise, most people still liked you." He muttered "unfortunately for some people" under his breath. "So, we'll start a wave of support for you. You'll be released in a month, and into Korra's custody. That way, we still give the illusion that you're under a strong watch from the world leaders. The next day, you'll participate in your first world leaders meeting." Wu looked to Kuvira. "Now, here is where it's absolutely necessary that you play yourself up. I'm going to announce to the world leaders that you're my first choice as prime minister, and you need to win over as many of them as possible. You know, schmooze it up, make them feel good, show how much of a not psychopath you are. You might have to fake it a little, but I trust that you're up for it."

Kuvira felt her chest begin to tighten. "I thought I was just going to sit quiet for the first meeting. What happened to that?"

"If you don't say anything, you're allowing everyone to make their own impressions. Some may get it right, but a lot of those leaders need a nudge in the right direction," Korra answered. "You're charismatic. Don't worry."

Kuvira took a deep breath. "Okay. So…are you assuming that they'll jump on board?"

"Yeah," Wu replied. "And after that, they'll probably want a prime minister in there quick, so I'll just schmooze parliament for approval, and hopefully have you in office in less than a month."

"A month?" Kuvira repeated.

"Yeah, we need a leader quick. Besides, it'll secure you and what you'll be doing right away, so less time leeching off Korra."

Spirits, wasn't it quick enough that she was getting out of prison, but to be sitting in a leader's chair, making decisions for an entire nation in less than a month after being released from prison? There was no way that could go well. She needed time to feel out what the Earth Kingdom needed before she could make or approve any major decisions. There—There was so much that needed to be done for the nation! She couldn't possibly do it after only a month out of prison. Besides, what would that month look like? If Wu was already hyping up her release, she'd be a celebrity by the time she was released. It wouldn't just be some abstract pressure to fix the nation, but many real people pressuring her to fix things as fast as possible. At least when she was the interim president, the hardest part, stabilizing Ba Sing Se, had been done in relative anonymity. She only gained a name for herself once she got into the groove.

"Are you sure about this?" Kuvira asked Wu.

"I've never been more confident in a political decision in all my life. Two months and you'll be rolling, Prime Minister Kuvira."

If there was one miracle in the world, it was that Korra and Wu hadn't picked up on how much blood had left her face nor how freaked out she was inside.

Wu suddenly put his hand on Kuvira's shoulder, and she cringed. "Also, if you could, make sure you make yourself up a _little_ bit on your release day and practice a smile and maybe a crying bit, that'd be awesome."

Kuvira expected Korra to glare at Wu, but her eyes were fixed on Kuvira, worry creased into her brow.

"Don't worry, I'll be ready," Kuvira managed to say without arising suspicion from the king.

* * *

  **180 AG, Winter**

Two days before Kuvira was released, and the night started with her lying wide awake in bed, staring at the ceiling with her heart slamming in her chest and ended with her waking from a pitiful sleep to vomit. Even when the physical symptoms anchoring her to the bathroom floor stopped, she didn't have the strength or willpower to pick herself up and drag her back to her bed. She was vaguely aware of the cell door opening a couple times, but no one came and interacted with her.

It wasn't until Korra arrived that someone finally came to get her.

"You know, you'd think being in solitary confinement would prevent you from getting sick. The guards didn't inform me of a food poisoning outbreak, so I'll have to try to figure this out myself," Korra said, a bit of lightness in her voice.

Korra scooped Kuvira up off the floor and carried her back to the bed. Kuvira watched as Korra went into the bathroom, turned the sink on, and returned with the water. She closed her eyes as Korra's healing water touched her skin, half listening as Korra muttered about there not actually being anything wrong with her.

"I'd be pretty blind to not know what this is about, would I?" Korra said as she sat on Kuvira's bed, put Kuvira's head into her lap.

Kuvira glanced up, then looked back out at the room. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You're scared that you'll fail, and overwhelmed by how fast everything is happening. You've developed a routine here, and it's only natural that you fear breaking it." Korra sighed. "I've noticed this ever since Wu announced that you were being pardoned, but I thought that maybe the excitement would cancel it out. I should be the one apologizing."

"I don't remember how to be a good person in the world anymore. I…I don't even think I know how to be a person anymore."

Korra ran her hand through Kuvira's hair. "It's all about taking it slow. You wouldn't believe how scared I was to return to my life. According to Toph, I even kept poison in my body to keep myself from it. Trust me, you're not alone, and I'll be there for you every step of the way." Kuvira took a deep breath. "What usually makes you calm down? Do you want a game plan? Encouraging words?"

"A game plan, maybe." She paused. "Not Wu's."

"Well, tomorrow, at nine am, you'll be released. I'll bring you some of my clothes to wear, and as for Wu's 'suggestion,' just brush your hair and you'll be good. If you wanted to make me happy and throw the people for a loop, you might even consider leaving your hair down. You'll get dressed, say bye to Arnav, get your uniform and whatever else you came in with, and we'll walk to my car. Honestly, ignore the press. I've been doing it for years, and it gets some nice candids. I'll get us over to Air Temple Island where you can meet Tenzin and the air kids. You met Tenzin before, right?"

"Briefly."

"Well, Tenzin's a very open guy, and we've been talking about you for a while. I think he may be very interested to see how much you've changed. So, you can meet one of the world leaders in a low pressure setting, we'll all have dinner, turn in for the night. The world leader meeting isn't until the afternoon, so we could do some sparring out in the yard in the morning, if you'd like. Then, we have the world leader meeting, and there are literally two outcomes: you'll be accepted as prime minister and we'll start doing stupid PR stuff, or they'll deny Wu his request, and you and I can just go around cleaning up any rises in crime rates. Either way, you're helping the people and I'm with you. Sound good?"

Kuvira exhaled. "It sounds better when you say it."

Korra took Kuvira's hand. "I want you to know that I'm really proud of you." She paused. "Also, are you down to be secret girlfriends until you're securely either the prime minister or not?"

Kuvira nodded. "I'm sorry I keep going back and forth on this confidence thing."

"Oh come on, you haven't been confident since you were arrested. What'll build that back up is some positive reinforcement. What I was building up is your self-worth, and I think that's doing okay." Korra smiled. "You know how I know your self worth is up?"

"How?"

"By the fact that you've agreed it's time to move into taking decisive action instead of serving a ridiculous sentence out to term."

"Ridiculous?"

"Five years and they never granted you consistent outdoor privileges. I stand with what I said."


	22. Blood, Sweat, and Iron

Kuvira slept more hours, and more peacefully than the night before, but still woke up early all things considering. She was unsure why, but she found herself more mindful as she went through a clipped version of her morning routine—a bit of exercise, stretching, a shower, and styling her hair as best as she could when forced to air dry it.

Arnav and Korra walked in within an hour of her finishing a shower.

"Gotta say, it feels kind of strange to be handing you that stuff," Arnav commented as he tossed her a bag of her personal effects that were confiscated after her arrest.

Everything was somehow still there—the tunic, the undershirt, the gloves, the pants, the boots, and even the bra and undergarments she'd been wearing. The metal, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm surprised they washed it," Kuvira commented.

"It would be a health hazard if they didn't," Arnav replied as he shut the door.

Kuvira plucked the underwear out of the clothing pile, and Korra emptied the contents of her own bag onto Kuvira's bed. Korra had brought her a white undershirt, dark brown pants, black boots, and a heavy tunic with Earth Nation colors, and an olive jacket.

"Cold out?" Kuvira asked as she started slipping the pieces on.

"Yeah. It hasn't snowed yet in Republic City, but it's pretty cold."

"Thanks again for letting me borrow the clothes."

"Well, the alternative wouldn't be helping anyone," Korra said, glancing at the Earth Empire uniform.

It was a remarkable feeling to wear regular clothes again, something that went beyond the soft, higher quality fabrics against her skin. Maybe it was the symbolic nature of wearing a normal, non-uniform outfit in over five years, or maybe it was just the fact that Korra's clothes vaguely smelled like her. She found it absurd how happy just putting on these clothes made her, how big she smiled when she figured out that Korra's jacket had built in fingerless gloves like Korra always wore.

"You'll fill me in on all the technological and cultural changes from the past five years, right?" Kuvira said.

"I'm probably not the person to ask since I don't…really pay attention. I tend to be too preoccupied with Avatar stuff. I can try, though."

Once completely suited up, Kuvira collected her books and letters into the bag with her uniform, exchanged a smile with Korra, and met Arnav and a couple other guards outside the cell.

"Do I get my metal bands back? That stuff was custom-made," Kuvira asked Arnav.

"Yeah, we just needed to get you past a certain checkpoint here before we can give you all your effects."

Kuvira thought about what she'd discussed with Baatar. "Is there a ring with the metal?"

"No." Arnav frowned. "Should there?"

"No." _Thank you, Baatar._

"Seriously, you're going to give that uniform to Masaru?" Korra commented. "I really wanted to try sparring with you with it."

"Why?"

"It's custom-made to enhance metalbending."

"I'll give you the metal pieces. The rest is just worn and musty."

The guards walked Kuvira through the last bit of paperwork, Korra managed to snag a copy of Kuvira's mugshot, and a guard handed her another bag with the metal bits of her uniform in it. As they sat, waiting for proper clearance to exit the prison and go into the parking lot, Kuvira removed a metal armband, slipped it on, and closed her eyes, savoring that first reunion with her element. She pulled a slab off and bent it back and forth, back into a circle, tightened the diameter, flattened it back into its rolled out form. Nothing made her more hopeful than the assurance that metalbending still came easy for her.

She had to start thinking on the bright side to keep the anxiousness at bay. She was about to become a free woman, and she could still metalbend. Those were two significant achievements. Putting the metal strip back, she took a deep breath.

Kuvira looked up and caught Arnav's eye. She stood up, hesitated, but settled into a weak hug. "I can't thank you enough for all the kindness you've shown me."

Arnav smiled. "Thank you for letting me get to know you. It's been an honor." They pulled away. "And, by the way, I exist on the outside world."

"I'll keep it in mind."

With all her goodbyes done, Korra put a hand on Kuvira's shoulder and smiled. "You ready to get out of here?"

The knot in her stomach was still present, but it was time to face the world. "Yes, let's."

Kuvira took ahold of both bags, they regained a professional distance and Korra pushed open the door leading to the outside.

The first thing to overwhelm Kuvira wasn't in fact the dozens (no, maybe _hundreds_ ) of reporters, but the sun. Even in winter, the sun was shining, and it took two seconds outside to realize just how not accustomed to sunlight she truly was, screwing her eyes shut. As she attempted to adjust, her eyes burned and tears welled up. She swore under her breath, causing Korra to chuckle.

"You were right," Kuvira muttered to Korra, bringing a hand up to massage her face.

Korra smiled. "Gotta trust that Avatar wisdom."

She wiped the tears away and blinked a few times, eyes finally adapting.

As they strode through the lot, the reporters began to climb to the forefront of her senses. It was a sea of people, all asking a myriad of questions and snapping photos.

As Korra pushed them through the crowds, Kuvira listened to the questions, took in all the faces as they spoke and aperture bulbs flashed.

"How does it feel to be out of prison for the first time in five years?"

"Could you comment on King Wu's decision to pardon you, especially considering the nature of your relationship?"

"Does the Earth Kingdom condone what happened in Republic City?"

"What are you going to do now?"

"What did you do to warrant King Wu's pardoning?"

"Have you shed the Great Uniter?"

"What will you do in the Avatar's custody?"

"Kuvira!"

_Kuvira, Kuvira, Kuvira…_ She'd forgotten what her name sounded like from anyone's mouth aside from Korra or Arnav.

"Can you drive?" Kuvira couldn't help but ask.

Kuvira had managed to stay quiet long enough to reach Korra's car, a maroon Satomobile that she was surprised to find wasn't some nickname for her polar bear dog.

She recalled something along the lines of " _Asami drove everywhere and I ride Naga_ " being said in their prison conversations.

Korra snorted. "Of course I can drive."

They stepped into the car and closed themselves into their first bubble of privacy.

"If we get into a fatal car accident…" Kuvira wondered aloud.

Korra laughed. "You know what'd be worse, though? If we got into a car accident just bad enough to break your ribs all over again."

Kuvira cringed. "I'll take the first one."

Korra punched Kuvira's shoulder lightly. "You better not. I worked too hard for you to die in the car accident I may or may not cause."

She started up the Satomobile and shifted it into gear. Kuvira leaned back in the seat, looked as the mountainside passed by and glimmers of Republic City began to form. "What're we going to do now?"

"I was thinking grab some food and take our sweet time getting to Air Temple Island. No need to throw you right to the beasts."

"Sounds good." Kuvira took Korra's hand, matching up their fingers before shifting her hand over to fit in the spaces between her fingers. She caught Korra smiling, and smiled back. "So, what does this secret girlfriend thing look like to you?"

"Only what you're comfortable with. I'd love to spend your first night of freedom finally consummating our relationship, but I know we won't be granted any privacy. So, we could just keep up the same thing as what we've been doing in prison. If we time it right, you could sleep with me, and I'm sure the kids would give us a few minutes to sneak a kiss in. But, I'm cool with waiting as long as you want. At this point, if we do get caught, the major repercussions would be political. More you than me, keep in mind. Might uh, make people think I had some ulterior motives in getting you released and working with you."

"How long are we staying on Air Temple Island?"

"A week or so, probably. If Wu gets his way, we'd be transferred to a place around or in Ba Sing Se, and if not, we'd just be going wherever around the Earth Kingdom."

Kuvira bit her inner cheek. She'd spent more time than she'd like to admit thinking about that kiss and what it would be like to have Korra that close again, but this was just as fragile a time as when she was in prison. "I can bear to wait a week. Once we have our own doors to lock, we can reevaluate."

"Sounds like a plan." Korra paused. "What kind of food do you want?"

They ended up grabbing baozi and eating in the parked car. She tried not to make a big deal out of her first meal out of prison, but she couldn't hide how incredible eating real food made her feel, and Korra had enough smiles and comments to go with it.

"When are you going to stop paying for me?" Kuvira asked as they finished up.

"When you start getting a steady income."

"I can't just get a job now. Please, you'll stop with the favors soon, right?"

"I could totally give you a job. Five yuans a day to feed Naga."

Something about what Korra said struck her, and a few minutes in silence as they drove the remaining distance to Air Temple Island really set it down.

She had nothing. A uniform she could no longer wear, some metal, a few books, and some letters. No money, no house, no job. If not for Wu, Kuvira would've probably taken a grunt job like most of her former soldiers were employed in, and toiled the rest of her life in. Even if she knew that wasn't going to be her fate, it still sent a shiver down her spine thinking about it.

(Spirits, maybe she did want this prime minister job…)

While she an endless list of apologies to make, she would soon have a growing list of people to thank in the next several weeks.

* * *

 There was nothing the Air Nation could've done to make the scene that greeted Korra and Kuvira more terrifying than it was. She was intimidated enough to face Tenzin (was it Master Tenzin or just Tenzin?), but he hadsummoned his entire family to greet them. She recognized the young woman Jinora had grown into, and had vague ideas of who the other three kids were, but no names came to mind. Korra grew a huge grin, and Tenzin's kids were soon smiling back at her. They didn't move to embrace, but something told Kuvira that they didn't really need to. Kuvira was the only one coming here for the first time.

"I can't thank you enough for your and your family's hospitality, Master Tenzin," Kuvira said giving a bow.

Tenzin nodded. "Anything to support someone's journey to regain balance and peace in their lives. I look forward to seeing how you've grown."

The older of the two boys—spirits, she recognized him, but what was his name?—spoke up. "Korra, is she wearing your clothes?"

Korra gave the boy a miffed look. "Meelo, it's not like they give you a starter package after prison. I don't mind lending."

Meelo made eye contact with Kuvira. "Do you remember me?"

Oh, spirits, did she. "You were the kid who made faces on the Colossus's windows." She glanced at the younger boy. "I thought you were your brother for a second."

Meelo scowled, and the younger brother laughed a bit. Spirits, time had really passed in prison. The kid plastered to her window was now a teenager, tall and lean, slowly growing the broad shoulders of a man. Now she had no idea who the actual child standing next to Meelo was.

"Did you get any prison tats?" Meelo asked, recovering quickly.

"Meelo, don't be stupid," Tenzin's other daughter said. "She was in solitary the whole time. People in low-security prison get tattoos."

"Ikki, Meelo, Rohan, don't wear her down. I still want to have a meaningful conversation with her after she's settled in," Tenzin said.

"But, Dad, I didn't say anything!" the boy who must be Rohan protested.

"What about Jinora?" Meelo said at the same time.

Jinora looked over at Kuvira and Korra and gave a half-hearted eye roll.

"C'mon, Ikki, let's go show Kuvira to her room," Jinora said, putting a hand on her sister's shoulder.

Jinora motioned Kuvira forward, and she and Korra followed the airbender sisters. Once out of earshot, Korra leaned into Jinora and said, "Thanks for the save."

Jinora smiled briefly. "No one deserves to have Meelo bombard them within their first hours back into society." Jinora looked over to Kuvira. "How're you doing?"

"Just like that?" Kuvira said with a furrowed brow. "You just—"

"Forgive you?"

Kuvira nodded.

"Regardless of whether or not your changed energy means a change of heart, I'll be polite to you. You're our guest."

"Changed energy?"

"Yeah. Before, you were sufficiently composed, but there was a lot of pent up energy, emotions being buried. Now, that negative energy is gone, but you've lost the composure and determination. It's purer, but less formed, if that makes sense."

Korra leaned into Kuvira. "That's good."

A moment of silence passed before Kuvira looked back to Jinora and realized she was looking at her. "Do you still want me to answer the first question?"

Kuvira shrugged. "I'm…somewhat overwhelmed. Almost numb. I don't know when it's going to hit that I'm out."

"Well, take it easy for now. No one expects you to be normal after one day."

She swallowed the comments floating around her head, about how they were airbenders, known for being more compassionate. That there were people out there who expected her to be normal within a day.

Jinora and Ikki left Korra and Kuvira to her assigned room, right across from Korra's at the end of the hallway. The room probably wasn't much bigger than her prison cell, but it was far more homey than it: wooden furniture with designs carved into them, ink paintings hanged on the wall, and a big window that overlooked an open area of the island. Kuvira set her bags down and sat on the windowsill, transfixed by the view.

"You forget how beautiful the world is sometimes," Kuvira said. "I can't tell which feels more like a dream—this or the last five years."

Korra took a seat on the other side of the window, straddled between the inside and outside. "Just tell me if there's anything we can do to help ease you into this."

"Can you show me around the island?"

Korra nodded. "Let's go."

Of course, Korra's idea of "let's go" involved grabbing Kuvira and jumping them both out the window, only saved by a blast of air.

"This is not becoming a normal thing," Kuvira muttered as they both lay on the ground, Korra taking a few sweet seconds to not let her go.

"Just getting your reflexes back." Korra smiled. "Maybe next time you can jump out of the way."

They unraveled and began the walk around the island.

"So, what exactly is happening tonight?" Kuvira asked Korra as they walked by a collection of lemurs grabbing fruit out of a feeder.

"Just dinner." Korra paused. "Bumi and Bolin might be coming by." Bolin had mentioned working for the United Forces. "Maybe a couple airbenders who're in town. Don't worry about it. It's not a celebration type thing. It's just an airbender thing to invite everyone over for food."

She had to admit that she'd like seeing Bolin again. Other than that, she really didn't know anything about Tenzin's brother or the other airbenders. She could guess that Opal wouldn't be there. It should be enough to let her take a deep breath and just start living, not worrying all the time.

"Oh, by the way, please resist all urges to apologize to everyone you see, regardless of whether or not you should apologize to them," Korra commented.

"I'm not that tactless," Kuvira snapped.

Korra laughed. "Watch, you're going to apologize to someone."

* * *

 Kuvira was far from culturally illiterate, but she had never experienced anything like an airbender dinner. In a way, everything about it was so simple **:** low wooden table, minimal table decorations, yet there seemed to be an rich, unique culture that engulfed every aspect of it, from the way they prayed before the meal began, to the designs on the windows surrounding them. Somehow, even the tables packed with Tenzin's family, various airbenders still in their red flying suits, and Bolin, there was still a strange serenity about it.

"It's good to see you again," Bolin said to Kuvira as dinner began. "You look good for being in prison for so long." Bolin stopped suddenly, blood leaving his face as Kuvira eyed him oddly, processing what he said. "I just meant that you look healthy but, you're paler than you were before. Not an insult."

Korra and Ikki snickered from nearby. Kuvira quirked a brow. "Do you still find me intimidating, after all these years?"

Bolin looked around as he spoke. "Honestly, I was terrified the entire meeting we had in prison. I'm just recovering…"

Korra grinned. "You should've been there when I smashed her into the ceiling with a mattress. It'd take away the scare factor in a second."

Somehow, Meelo had only caught that, and reached across the table to give Korra a high five.

"So," Bolin said. "What're you gonna do now? You can't go back to Zaofu, right?"

Kuvira shook her head. "I'm just working with Korra right now. We'll have to see." She paused. "How's Opal doing?"

Bolin looked away again. "I think she's good. I haven't seen her recently. We uh, broke up again." He stayed quiet after that.

"Hey Kuvira, did you get ripped in prison?" Meelo blurted.

Kuvira shrugged. "Ripped? I think of it as _maintaining_ my physique."

Meelo just stared at her for a moment. "What're we talking…?"

No one was paying attention to their discussion, so Kuvira figured it would be fine to roll up her sleeve for a moment. "The tone is good, but I couldn't maintain the muscle mass I had before." She rolled down her sleeve. "They don't exactly give you a protein-rich diet in prison."

"Did you lose your bending skills in prison?"

"Doubt it."

"Will you fight me, then? I never got to see Korra fight you once."

"For all you know, my entire fighting strategy might be cheap shots."

Meelo glanced at Bolin, who shrugged and said, "I mean, if she really did bash someone's nuts with rocks, you can pretty much expect infertility."

Korra snorted. "She'd never _actually_ use those moves. Too much _honor._ "

"Expect a rock to the pubic bone, then." Kuvira chided.

Korra raised a finger at her. "I don't trust you on that, but I also don't want to see a demo."

Meelo studied them. "Wait, is that literally how she fights?"

Korra started laughing. "No Meelo, she's a big neutral-jing, throw-opponents-off-balance, targeted-attack kind of fighter. That, with an arsenal of sharp objects."

"Were you an assassin before you were a dictator?"

Kuvira shook her head harder than she needed. "No, I just…developed some more deadly metalbending forms."

"Why?"

"It was where the innovations led. You must know about that. Isn't it a requirement to get master tattoos to invent a new form of airbending?"

Meelo's head snapped over to where Jinora and his father were sitting. "Dad, what gives? What did Jinora invent to get her tats?"

Jinora glared at her brother. Tenzin continued, "Spiritual projection, Meelo," in a tired voice.

Meelo turned back to Korra and Kuvira. "What about you?" he said, referring to Korra.

Korra shrugged. "I've never had any interest in getting one, nor do I need to. I've already got the Master bit down, being the Avatar and all."

Meelo leaned toward Kuvira. "Wanna let me borrow one of your forms for airbending?"

"Don't think it would translate over well," Kuvira replied.

Before anyone else could get another word in, none other than Varrick burst into the dining room, him and Zhu Li carrying a projector. At least he didn't look different—flamboyant as ever, wore the same mustache, and Zhu Li hanging off him. Only difference he wore a wedding band.

"Kuvira, I heard someone gave you a hand in your jailbreak!" Varrick said, completely ignoring the dirty looks from Tenzin and Tenzin's wife.

"I was _released_ from prison," Kuvira replied.

"Yeah, _technicalities._ " He and Zhu Li set down the machine. "Two things: one, I need the code to get into the safe I established while I worked for you—"

"You could've asked me for that five years ago."

"And I'm also here because I was looking through my old files and recordings I did while working for you to see if I missed one of my genius ideas, and I found this." He produced a tape. "Do you remember the Iron Lady experiments?"

The mere utterance of _Iron Lady_ ushered a wave of negative emotion to flood her, and that was without knowing exactly what emotions she was experiencing. He wouldn't do it. He wasn't really about to put in that damn mover, was he?

"Why?" she replied, as calmly as she could muster.

"You have to watch it! You have to watch it right now! It's one of the greatest scientific inquiries we ever did together." He put a hand to the side of his mouth. "Plus, you stopped the trial before it became too crazy, and I thought you'd like some hope for yourself."

Wait, were they thinking of the same experiment?

Varrick completely ignored Tenzin's protests and set the projector up against the wall.

The mover flickered on, the image of Kuvira very early on in the campaign, before she cut her hair and stopped doing the braid, sitting in her new master's quarters in the bullet train.

" _How does bloodbending work, Varrick_?" Kuvira asked with a dry tone as she sat at her desk.

" _Something about bending the water in blood_ ," Varrick replied, now clearly lounging on a couch in her quarters.

" _So blood is in part made of water, and that's why waterbenders can bend it. But, I've always noticed that there's a little bit of metal inside blood as well. Science can attest to this, I'm sure._ "

" _Yep_."

" _If you think about it, then, metalbenders should be able to manipulate blood, right_?"

" _Seems like it_."

She glanced at Varrick. " _Want to find out with me?_ "

The next moment, she pulled off one of the metal strips on her desk, molded it into a razor, and cut her palm. She didn't even flinch, and used her other hand to try to move to blood collecting in her other hand. She focused intensely, gritting her teeth as she tried to bend the blood, only to get minimal, questionable movements.

Then it happened. The blood lifted inches into the air in little hills, as if she'd dipped her hand in and was lifting it away. The moment only lasted for the blink of an eye before dropping. Kuvira exhaled. " _Keeping focused on it is close to impossible. The pieces must be microscopic._ "

The face Varrick made in the corner of the camera was exactly what everyone sitting at the table was making as they watched the mover.

"You can bloodbend and you never told me?" Korra interjected.

Everyone looked back to the screen as the scene shifted, the timestamp reading three days later. Kuvira now doing the same motion with a vial of separated blood. This time, the blood drew more easily, but it was only the red layer. " _Consider this: I'm in a fight, or in a dire situation in which I don't have any metal. But, right here, this is metal_." She made a quick motion, and the red liquid dropped, leaving what appeared to be nothing. " _Just a considerably small amount._ "

" _That's only ten milliliters of blood_ ," Varrick said. " _The human body has almost five liters of blood in it._ "

Varrick and Kuvira made eye contact. " _That's a lot of metal, isn't it_?"

"… _Yeah_."

The scene cut again to twelve hours later, five graduated cylinders full of separated blood on Kuvira's desk.

" _Note_ ," Varrick said to Zhu Li beyond the camera. " _We didn't kill anyone or raid the morgue to get this blood. We negotiated with a gentlemen who works in the morgue_."

Kuvira glanced at the camera as she removed the metal from the blood samples. " _Are you filming this_?"

" _To document our progress_."

Kuvira huffed and brought all the metal together, forming a decently sized nail. After a bit of play, she formed it into a shuriken. " _Definitely not for anything beyond des_ per _ation_."

" _Can you even get that much metal out of your own body_?"

Kuvira smiled mischievously **.** " _Let's find out_."

She began the bending motions, quick hands swiping across her body, and Varrick watched. " _Do you even know how to remove the metal without removing your blood_?"

Kuvira snorted. " _I'm a master metalbender, and part of that is knowing how to remove metal, as in high concentrations of metal used as poison, from the body. This metal is so fine it should fit through the pores even easier. Trust me, this is a cakewalk._ " For a moment, the bitterness that had burned inside Kuvira for years reflected in her eyes. " _In fact, if Su had brought me to save Avatar Korra, she'd be back in action right now_."

Varrick laughed. " _What, did Su not get all the poison out?_ "

" _I'll bet you anything she didn't_. _Korra's physical recovery shouldn't have taken this long. Clearly, still poisoned._ "

Varrick didn't drop the smile. " _I'll bet you all the money in my wallet that you're just making this up._ "

Kuvira smirked. " _Deal_." And, out came the microscopic bits of metal, that, when combined together, formed something akin to a small nail. " _But I know what I'm doing_."

Even in that lighting, Kuvira had clearly lost all the color in her face, and she went from leaning on the desk to collapsing to the floor unconscious in less than fifteen seconds. The air filled with Varrick screaming, " _ZHU LI! THE WORLD LEADERS ARE GOING TO KILL ME IF SHE'S DEAD! ZHU LI!_ "

Of course, within the next frame, Kuvira awoke, hands on her head, and groaned, " _Scrap that idea._ "

The mover changed again to a few more hours later, a green drink on Kuvira's nightstand and Varrick and Kuvira both on the couch.

" _You lost consciousness after taking out less than half your iron. Imagine if you took out more,_ " Varrick said.

" _I'd die_."

" _Yeah. So, imagine what would happen if you pulled that on someone else_."

" _Kill someone with metal extraction_?"

" _Well, okay,_ technically _you could do that, but it'd also be a pretty amazing leveler of the playing field. Take out a little bit, and they'd feel faint. Seems like a good tool to have in the back of your pocket_."

Kuvira sighed. " _I don't think we should pursue this. It's going to be too tempting to take it to an extreme_."

The mover ended, and everyone's eyes found Kuvira. Sure, she looked good in the end, but she couldn't stop thinking about how the experiment took a dark turn. When she saw the instant effects and how easy the motion was, she had genuinely considered developing it into a deadly fighting tactic. She had wanted to know exactly how it killed people, and had even gone thinking about who she could target. Varrick was lucky she had knocked some sense into herself.

"Can you still do that?" Meelo asked, curious.

It wasn't worth figuring out; it had been a really advanced form of metalbending, one that involved even more visualization and concentration than even goldbending.

Her gaze slid to Varrick. "You just had to bring this back up, didn't you?"

"Someone had to remind you about all the great memories we had."

"I was really looking forward to not going back to prison."

Varrick pointed an accusatory finger at her. "Hey! We said in that mover that it was donated blood."

There was a long bout of silence.

"Are you done, Varrick?" Korra asked. "You're bringing down the Southern Water Tribe…again."

Varrick nodded. "Once the Dictator gives me my code."

Kuvira had tuned Varrick out, focusing on Korra instead.

"Hey Korra, what did Toph do with you in the Foggy Swamp?" Kuvira asked, a smile growing on her face.

"Oh, you know, discovered that Su didn't get all the metal out."

"Is that so?" Kuvira returned her attention to Varrick. "I believe it's all the money in your wallet, Iknik."

"That bet is so past its legitimacy," Varrick exclaimed, crossing his arms across his chest.

Kuvira shook her head. "You paint me to be an insane neo-bloodbender, I get your money."

It took a long moment of Varrick grumbling to himself, but he forked over a clip of hundred yuan notes.

Bolin sighed. "This is the side of the Earth Empire army that no one talks about."

Varrick looked to Bolin. "Everyone knows about the part where Kuvira took my money."

"No, no, I mean the part where…you know, we were kind of happy, and Kuvira actually smiled."

"What was the exact moment she stopped smiling?" Meelo asked.

At first, Meelo traded looks with Bolin and Varrick, but his gaze landed on Kuvira.

It hit her why this conversation shouldn't be happening, why they shouldn't be joking about it. An insanely strong part of her wanted to just come out and say it, address the elephant-rat in the room. She had killed people. She stopped being a happy, hopeful person once she had blood on her hands.

"But seriously, give me my money back," Varrick said.

She'd have to thank Varrick one day.

"Not happening. I haven't gotten benefits from insulting Suyin's bending abilities since she tried to assassinate me and mistook me for Zhu Li."

* * *

 

It was almost as if everyone had come together before Kuvira came and decided to carve time out of the first night where she just had to think. Varrick left soon after Kuvira gave him the code he wanted; dinner ended soon after; the guests left (Bolin continued the tradition of hugging her, and she almost returned the gesture this time); and when Kuvira approached Tenzin asking if he still wanted to talk, he said he could wait until the next morning.

Kuvira was left to room, casually toying with her armor plates. Part of her wanted to don the tattered uniform again, just to see if it felt wrong to be in, but had settled for putting the metal armor back on. The bracelets still fit naturally like a glove, but the shoulder pieces seemed so… _heavy_. But, it still felt wonderful to manipulate the metal. She felt whole again.

Should she consider this a good start to life outside of prison?

Really, the only hiccup was Varrick showing that damn mover. She couldn't even say what the unanimous reaction had been. It had been a misguided experiment done before Bolin jumped on board, back when the biggest minds of the campaign were Kuvira, hellbent on saving her people, bringing peace through war, and Varrick, who only saw innovation and profiteering. (And Baatar, who had spent most of the campaign perfecting designs and encouraging Kuvira, no matter what.) There hadn't been anyone telling them right from wrong. Ideas and progress had skyrocketed; it was because of their combined ambition that they got the bullet trains, mecha suits, and even the metal armor. The two of them had spoke casually about the weapons these machines would have, and neither of them really thought twice about it. Sure, the morgue worker had agreed to give them that blood, but how did he obtain it? Did morgues collect blood, or had he gone the extra step get it? Kuvira had no idea. It was incredibly disturbing about how she had been willing to cut herself, and draw blood, all to just experiment a potential technique.

Yet, everyone had seemed so…interested in it. Korra had asked her if she could demonstrate it, and what other biological manipulations she could do. They seemed so in awe.

Who was looking at the situation wrong: her, or everyone around her?

"Hey," Korra greeted her as she walked into the room. Judging by her pajamas, it must be late. She dropped onto Kuvira's made bed next to her, sitting against the wall as Kuvira remained on her back, bending the ever-shifting metal into the air.

"So, what do you think? Not too bad, if you ask me," Korra noted.

"I suppose not too bad… miles above the disaster it could've been."

Korra stared at her in disbelief until Kuvira cracked a smile. "It was nice. Uneventful. I'm almost tempted to say I'm ready for the action to pick up tomorrow."

"Stir crazy _is_ better than physically debilitatingly anxious," she said as she scooted down next to Kuvira.

"What would you say, if I said, I'm still nervous about that meeting?"

"I'd say nothing."

Korra's real response was to pull Kuvira into a kiss. Kuvira set down the metal on the nightstand and flipped onto her side, to a better angle to embrace her. For as tight as they were holding each other, the kiss ended quickly.

"Try taking a deep breath and disconnecting the way you do while meditating," Korra said. "If that doesn't help, I'm here if you want to talk it out more. Have you talked to Tenzin yet?"

"No."

"Ah, bet that didn't help." Korra squeezed Kuvira's hand. "Trust me when I say he's one of the best people I know, and he understands what you're trying to do. It's all going to be okay." She grinned. "If anything, conning five thousand yuans off Varrick is the ultimate positive sign."

Kuvira chuckled. "Only he would keep five thousand yuans on person."

Kuvira ran a hand through Korra's hair. "Considering we're both going to be up at the crack of dawn to train, maybe you should just stay here."

"If you don't think anyone'll notice."

Kuvira pulled the covers down and over to the two of them.

"I don't."

They shared one last kiss before going to sleep for in each other's arms for the first time.

 


	23. Blinding, Binding, and Balance

Standing in the not-so-balminess of the winter morning, Kuvira felt alive. Cold, but alive. Somehow, it hadn't occurred to either her or Korra that the weather would not allow for the preferred barefoot training session they'd talked about, but there was no way to move the lesson into an indoor training area.

"I could heat the stone," Korra suggested as Kuvira tossed a metal band over to her.

"It's not necessary. It'd only be enhancing seismic sense, which isn't as useful for metalbending."

"What're you going to teach me, again?"

"Blinding, binding, and balance."

"Does that include the bloodbending?"

"First off, it's not bloodbending, it's extracting iron found in the bloodstream. And no, I don't see any reason to teach you that."

"Will you at least show me?"

"By using whose blood?"

"I don't care! Mine?"

Kuvira broke the casual eye contact they'd been making. "The ability brings nothing but harm. I'd…prefer not to."

Korra's expression softened. "Alright, don't worry about it." She glanced around. "But the metal strip techniques are still a go, right?"

Kuvira smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it otherwise."

Korra shifted into an earthbending stance.

"But, before we get to that," Kuvira continued, "you need to understand how to disperse your energy when fighting with metalbending. At advanced levels, it's nothing close to earthbending, and it takes a highly skilled bender to be able to switch effectively between the element and subelement." Kuvira scanned Korra head to toe. "I imagine you'll get it someday."

"So…if you had to compare it to another bending style, what would you say?"

"Dancing."

"You better mean foxtrot dancing."

"You may be disappointed. A metalbending fight, an effective one, anyway, is a combination of evading attacks at all costs and conserving your energy as best you can while attacking. Did the White Lotus teach you about throwing opponents off balance before delivering a final blow?"

"Uh…no."

"Almost everything I've developed into my metalbending style comes from that concept. Toph would always tell me that when she taught it to Avatar Aang, it was what saved him on multiple occasions."

"And that's for offensive attacks?"

"Yes. Let's start with negative jing first, though. As I'm sure you've figured out, metalbending is more deadly than an average bending match." Korra returned to her stance. "No earthbending stances here. Give me your airbending stance. You might have already mastered negative jing through your airbending training."

"But now we're going to add flying razors to it?" Korra said as she adjusted.

Kuvira peeled off a couple strips of metal and dulled the edges. "Adjusted for training. What areas are you most protecting during a fight with sharp objects?"

"Head, neck, and chest?"

"Not the chest. There's a lot of flesh and bone to get through, and metal isn't that durable, it's just sharp. Same with your head. Master metalbenders, when using the flying strips, will be aiming for your neck and upper thighs."

"I've never heard of legs as a lethal target."

"There are major arteries running through there that will cause you to bleed out. Plus, like the kill spots in your neck, they can be cut by shooting a slab of metal forwards when facing an opponent, allowing for maximum strength for the blow. So, just watch yourself. You won't encounter that many metalbenders who are thinking that much about killing you; most just send off a cascade of the strips and hope one sticks. Now, while you're dodging, try to think of how and when you'd throw a blow."

Kuvira shot her dulled strips at Korra, who dodged them effortlessly. Kuvira waited a few heartbeats, long enough for Korra to drop her heightened guard, and sent a cascade of strips toward the Avatar, using her own fancy footwork to play off different angles and keep the Avatar moving. Korra dodged well, but she was expending more energy than she needed to, avoiding blows by twisting her upper body away from the metal rather than anchoring from her hips.

"Don't underestimate the power of simple turns while staying grounded. You're going to naturally be dealing with close calls, so don't fear the metal getting close," Kuvira said as she continued to deliver the strips.

Korra pivoted, turning on her right foot to avoid a metal strip flying near her side, and used the momentum to turn a full 180 degrees. Kuvira didn't see the strip fly past Korra:

In the next moment, it was hurled right back at Kuvira. Everything happened a second too late, and the strip took a slice out of Kuvira's neck as it flew past.

All the flying metal fell to the ground in a series of low clanks, and Korra stared wide eyed at Kuvira.

"Spirits, I thought you'd dodge that. Sorry, I forgot this was just a negative jing exercise…" Korra apologized, lurching forward to approach.

Had Kuvira just been cut by a metal strip? That hadn't happened since her fight with Su, and Su was a master. What was going on?

Kuvira put a hand to her neck, searching for the wound. No blood, but it stung to the touch.

Maybe she _had_ lost her skills in prison…

"No, you looked for an opening on your target and took it." She forced a smile, waving Korra off. "I'm impressed." She exhaled. "Let's move on to how to wield those strips properly."

Korra had used a rarely-seen technique: it was a waterbending form translated over to metalbending, using an opponent's energy against them. Kuvira wasn't accustomed — it wasn't a huge indication of anything.

"How long have you guys been out here?" Meelo hollered, now suddenly on the outer ring of the training area.

Kuvira considered a snide remark to put off any embarrassing remarks he could make having seen the exercise, but determined Meelo could serve as part of their lesson.

"Hey, Meelo, come over here and help us train," Kuvira said.

Meelo seemed eager enough. "What do I have to do?"

Kuvira's arms rose, summoning chunks of rock and earth to trap his legs. "Absolutely nothing." She turned to Korra. "The trick with this is knowing what you want to accomplish. Believe it or not, this is one of the least violent means of securing a foe. Therefore, all I'm going to teach you is how to not hurt anyone." She glanced at Meelo. "Using Meelo — I'm sure — will drive the point home." She pulled off a long strip of metal. "Blinding is the most effective tool in disorientating an opponent. But, they are also one of the most vulnerable parts of the body. So, if you have no intention of physically blinding your opponent, you want to cover the eyes rather than touch them with the metal."

She bent the metal strip onto Meelo, using the extra length to secure it around his head rather than tuck the ends into the side of the head like she often used to do. "When you get better at this, you can use less metal."

"Can I remove this?" Meelo asked.

"Yes." While Meelo fumbled with removing the metal, Kuvira released his feet. "Same concept with binding the hands and feet, except you can be a _somewhat_ less gentle." Seeing him not get anywhere, she pulled off the strip for him. "Now, the trick here is to move the ankles and wrists close enough together to encompass them both. You're going to be met with bodily resistance. In stronger opponents, the best solution is to use two different metal strips and push them together before binding."

She took a band and scooped Meelo into the air, binding his ankles together while he hung upside down.

"Why didn't you use two metal strips?" Meelo demanded, with Korra laughing.

"Because it was unnecessary," Kuvira answered dryly. She dropped Meelo and motioned to Korra. "Give it a try."

For the next several hours, Kuvira taught Korra all the advanced metalbending she knew: manipulating metal armor into hand-to-hand weapons, more focus on the creating effective armor with the strips, and the basics for switching between earthbending and metalbending in combat. Through it all, though, Kuvira wasn't happy with herself. That moment with the metal strip wasn't the only slip up she had: she wasn't sure if she was slower or just less skilled, but Korra tripped her up on multiple occasions, to the point where she noticed.

By that point, they were sparring outright, both of them breathing heavy and sweating despite the cold, and had amassed an audience of the airbender kids and Tenzin's brother. Korra had just knocked Kuvira to the ground, hard enough for Kuvira to have bitten her lip enough to draw blood.

"Looks like you're a little rusty," Korra joked as she got over Kuvira, them having gotten much too indulged into the fight a long time before.

Kuvira was not expecting flare-ups of anger to reemerge: she was fuming mainly at herself, but old habits die hard, and Korra was the only target in sight to channel her frustration. She slung the little blood on her face over at Korra and jabbed a rock between Korra's legs, the same dirty pro earthbending move they'd been joking about the night before. Korra went down in seconds, groaning and writhing, yet somehow still able laugh despite her pain.

"Shiiiit, that's what you were talking about," Korra managed to sputter out when Kuvira approached her. The adrenaline and anger fizzled away as she looked over Korra, blood droplets stuck to her chest.

"Sorry," she whispered to Korra, helping her up as the kids and Tenzin's brother laughed from the background. Korra sucked in a breath and said, "Sore loser."

Kuvira threw on the sheepish grin she expected Korra expected, mind still stuck on how she had just lashed out for the first time in, well, _years_.

She had just had a conniption, and she was supposed to convince world leaders who hated her that she was a suitable candidate to run the Earth Kingdom again. She was doomed.

"You are full of shit, saying you don't do the blood thing anymore. That was just plain bloodbending, no _harm_ ," Korra sneered as they walked to grab the towels they'd left out. "Seriously, you'll teach me that, right?"

"Whatever you want." Kuvira studied her. "Although, all things considering, maybe I shouldn't accustom you to manipulating blood. Might lead you down the road to learn the waterbending version. Gotta tell you, prison isn't all it's cracked up to be."

* * *

 Korra and Kuvira showered and dressed for the day, and were able to catch the tail end of breakfast. Kuvira spent the entire time mulling over how to smoothen out the rock incident, trying to figure out if Korra was even as concerned as she was, with little conclusive results. None of the other airbenders who had been watching even brought it up, preferring to talk about the other feats of bending she and Korra had managed, Meelo particularly proud of how he 'helped' Korra learn "crazy advanced metalbending."

"Did you learn anything new, Korra?" Tenzin asked after the two of them had settled.

"Besides the forms, I learned a lot about the power of small attacks." She glanced over at Kuvira. "And that metalbending isn't joking around. I'm pretty sure in a real fight we would've killed each other."

Kuvira shrugged. "No, made some scars, _not_ killed. You never sliced or punctured any lethal areas." She paused. "But you could."

Tenzin crossed his arms. "I watched Toph train Lin and Suyin a few times over the years, and she never seemed to emphasize how dangerous the discipline is. It seems oddly like her to let her kids figure it out on their own." He paused. "Did Su take a different approach to it?"

"She did, but I was always a bit adventurous with the bending. Cut myself up a few times before it sunk in," Kuvira answered. "Even as a master, I get cut up from time to time." She glanced at Korra. "Apparently, it's visible right now."

"You have two _slightly visible_ scratches," Korra retorted.

"Admitting that you haven't shed imperfection is a big sign of humility," Tenzin commented. It was the first time since the bending high wore off that Kuvira smiled.

"Korra, could you leave us alone for a few minutes?" He requested. She nodded and left the room so quickly it was like she'd never been in there. Looking to the air bending master, and feeling the weight of the empty room, Kuvira's chest tightened.

"Did you master metalbending and earthbending at the same time, or separately?" Tenzin asked.

"I mastered earthbending at fourteen and metalbending at fifteen."

"A prodigy, by all accounts."

She hoped she wasn't blushing. "I suppose."

"Were you surprised by King Wu's decision to pardon you?"

"Yes. It's a risky political move. I know how polarizing a figure I am, and it's bold of him to make such a move in this time of continued turmoil."

"When he told the world leaders, he said that those three years before you developed the super weapon were the best the Earth Kingdom has seen in centuries. He told us that he'd gone through the Earth Kingdom and asked people what they thought about you."

"What did they say?"

"Most didn't understand what had happened to you. You had supporters who would go on to say that they didn't see any problem in developing the weapons, but none of them could understand why you went into the United Republic."

"What do you think of me, Master Tenzin?"

"I'm still figuring it out. We never had many interactions before, during, or after your reign. I did not take kindly to the person you became as the Great Uniter, but the woman behind the leader is still a mystery to me. Are you asking if I agree with Wu's decision to let you out early?"

Kuvira nodded.

"I do. I thought the prison arrangements they made for you were cruel and counterproductive. It's rare that leaders surrender, and they should've focused on allowing you to self reflect and change rather than beating you down further. I had suggested temporary exile: you could have been sent to an island of some kind, but give you free reign over that space. Build a life for yourself, give you a jumping block for reaching a more pure empowerment."

Still so close to that hell that had been prison, hearing of these alternative arrangements made her uneasy. "You believe in second chances."

"Yes."

"Then what do you and the world leaders see in me that you don't see in Zaheer?"

Tenzin cleared his throat. "Technically, King Wu didn't need any of the world leaders' approval to release you. A majority agreed, but it wouldn't have been necessary. The difference, as I'm hoping to see, is that while he still clings to his extreme ideology and sees no wrong in what happened, you've found balance and acknowledge the error in your ways. That you want to do something positive with this freedom Wu has granted you." Tenzin paused. "If you want to know, I'm not that worried about you. You've proven your intentions, as far as I'm concerned. Korra told me about how you were the true creator behind the constitutional monarchy for the Earth Kingdom, and it struck a perfect balance between preserving the old and ushering in the new."

"Five years ago, I'd have been disgusted by advising Wu." Kuvira admitted. "I'm not sure what to expect, now that I am sitting at his side tonight."

"If you truly still want to help the people of the Earth Kingdom, I imagine it'll feel rewarding."

Tenzin never returned to the Republic City subject, but Kuvira didn't leave it.

* * *

 "Can I tell you something that I haven't told anyone?" Kuvira asked Korra as the two of them walked through a shopping district in Republic City, spending some of Varrick's lost bet money on formal clothing for the world leader meeting. Wearing Korra's non-eye catching clothing, leaving her hair in a low ponytail, and keeping the bill of a hat tipped to obscure her face had worked, but Kuvira desperately needed both her own clothing and something better to wear incognito.

"Go ahead," Korra replied.

"I didn't want to conquer Republic City because I believed it was Earth Kingdom land. I…slightly believed that Raiko was an idiot and a harm to his people, but that wasn't the main reason." She sighed. "I did it to secure the next Avatar."

"…So you _were_ going to kill me."

"That, actually, depended on the day. I had every intention of taking Republic City after I announced the Earth Empire, but I didn't consider you a threat until after you returned after Zaofu."

Kuvira stopped in front of a glasses display. It was cliche, but it could work.

"Actually, I was hoping to capture or exile you, but that's not the point. I formulated that when I took Republic City, that would encompass every line of earthbenders in the world, and therefore the next Avatar."

Korra leaned in as Kuvira scanned the display and picked out a pair of eyeglasses, ovular, with thick black and brown-streaked frames. Kuvira played along, put them on.

"These hide your mole perfectly. Takes away your distinctive look," Korra said. "Just get them without any prescription."

It was a good enough idea to try.

She kept the glasses, returning to the story as they waited in line to pay. "Once you died, I would send my own people out to find the Avatar. Depending on his situation, I'd either take him in or let him remain with his parents, but have his teachers be loyal. If he grew up believing in what I did, it would be check mate for the world leaders. There would be no way they'd try to dismantle it and disrupt the peace I had created."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I just wanted there to be no secrets between us. I wanted you to know every motivation I've had over the years." She pulled out the money from Varrick, counting out the amount for the glasses in advance. "I wanted to make sure you were certain about this."

"Honestly, I'm not concerned that you'll be corrupted or go power crazy again." Korra glanced at the line and took a step forward as the man in front of them was called to a register. "How'd you deal with the Dai Li when you stabilized Ba Sing Se?"

"The Grand Secretariat of the Dai Li had effectively lost all power when the chaos began, so I simply entered one of their meetings and asked the Grand Secretariat if I could use his agents to help me rid the city of the anarchists and the terrorist cells popping up. He agreed. Not a very unyielding man." Kuvira didn't speak again until after the glasses were purchased and on her face, the two of them walking toward another store for cosmetics. "By the way, as we construct the constitutional monarchy, you'll have people compare it to the often corrupted or spineless Grand Secretariat. Your response, in the most concise terms I can give you, can be that the Grand Secretariat hid from the people his power, but the prime minister and the constitutional monarchy will let every decision and power possessed be clear to the people."

"And you don't think you'll make a good prime minister."

"I've read enough."

"Yeah, and you've also got me wondering how many other conquerors tried to secure the Avatar in their good graces." Korra flicked Kuvira's glasses. "You're not going to try that again, right?"

Kuvira readjusted her glasses and smirked. "Why wait for the next one? I've got this one at my feet."

* * *

 Somehow, even after talking to Tenzin, Kuvira felt no more assured that any of the leaders would approve of Wu's crazy prime minister idea than before. In fact, upon walking in the meeting room, half the world leaders already seated, all of their gazes on her either in stares or glances, she didn't think she could assure a single yes for the Earth King.

Eska and Desna were the first to approach her and Korra, still wearing vacant expressions and haunched over postures.

"Looks like Desna was correct after all," Eska noted.

"About what?" Korra replied.

The twins' stares flicked between Korra and Kuvira. "Your new girlfriend."

Korra inhaled. "Yeah, if you two could _kindly_ never mention that again…"

Desna studied Kuvira. "You seem so content with your life knowing that you have to be a servant to the man-child leader of the Earth Kingdom."

"Beats being imprisoned."

"During the next family event Korra invites you to, we'll be expecting those blueprints or something of equal value," Eska said before the two sauntered off.

Kuvira looked to Korra with a confused frown. "Did they approve?"

"I _think_ so." Korra paused. "Two down?"

The next individual Kuvira made eye contact with was Tonraq, gaze intense as they said nothing, mentally shaping each other up. The only thing that changed about the hulking warrior that was the chief of the Southern Water Tribe were individual streaks of gray in his hair, nothing more. Especially since she was not at her fighting peak, he was intimidating. Unsure of exactly what to do, she gave him a shy smile.

"You work off extremes, don't you?" Tonraq crossed his arms. "Hero in combat, to dictator, to creator of a peaceful government system."

"Everything after the coronation was an asinine power trip, nothing more. It won't happen again." She glanced at Korra. "Your daughter has helped me so much, and I'm honored that she's even given me the time of day."

Tonraq's stern gaze drifted towards Korra, softening as he watched her conversing enthusiastically with former Fire Lord Zuko. "She won't stop chattering about you. I've never seen her so proud of an Avatar project. Guess we'll see what five years visiting someone weekly can do."

Thanking him for his acquaintance, Kuvira sat between Korra and Wu, facing Raiko and Fire Lord Izumi.

Wu clapped his hands together, grinning, the sudden sound sending everyone's eyes to the Earth King. "This is great, everyone's all here, in Republic City." He sighed. "See Korra, this is what you missed at my coronation."

Kuvira swore everyone was giving her side eye, and all she could think to do to hide the flush of mortification was bury her face in her hands.

" _Why_ would you bring up," Korra replied, nudging Kuvira back up, "the moment you looked like a fool in front of millions of people?"

"Because," Wu put his hand to the side of his mouth, as if it would funnel his words so Korra could hear, "the Water Tribes weren't invited to that last Earth Empire era world leader meeting."

"King Wu, this meeting has a purpose, right?" Raiko said.

Wu snapped his fingers. "Yes, but before we begin," he turned toward Kuvira, "would you have believed it if we said you won a free tropical island vacation?"

_What?_

"No?"

"Do you have any allergies?"

If these were their best ideas when they were trying to take her down, spirits help them. "No."

Wu looked around the room. "We can officially lay those plans to rest. Now, the big discussion topic. As everyone knows, the Earth Kingdom states have all held elections for their representatives in parliament, and we officially have the legislative body. But, we still don't have a prime minister."

"When will your representatives have someone chosen?" Raiko asked.

"Well, that's the thing. The representatives and I talked, and they want me to give some names to really bridge the connection between the elected body and the monarchy, and once the system is on its feet, they'd do the picking on their own."

"Who do you have in mind?"

Wu didn't actually say anything. Instead, he relayed possibly the most important bit of information he'd ever had by pointing in a cocksure manner at Kuvira. Tenzin's, Tonraq's, and Raiko's eyes widened, and Raiko's jaw actually fell open, before his face reddened. The Fire Nation representatives were quiet, but the scowl on Fire Lord Izumi's face said enough. One of the twins raised an eyebrow, and that alone meant business. A couple beats of silence led to outbursts of, _"What?" "Are you out of your mind?"_ and _"You've got to be kidding me!"_

Wu shot out of his chair. "You guys haven't even let me explain!"

"How many years ago was she _destroying Republic City_?" Raiko snapped. "When she went back on her promise to step down and usurped your position?"

"Not to mention the prison camps, or coercing states into joining," Tonraq said.

"Does she still look like the person who did that? Do you honestly think she's the same person she was five years ago?" Wu exclaimed.

"Has she given me any reason to think otherwise?" Raiko shot back.

"She's changed!"

Raiko's burning gaze shot over to Kuvira. "Changed? She's just as diabolical as ever. What do you think this is, King Wu? You think she created the new government system and it _just so happens_ that she can be prime minister?"

" _Yes_! Because I _asked her_! And you know why I asked her? Because she _knows the Earth Kingdom_. She _cares about it_. She cares so much about it that she developed this government for us, for nothing more than helping us bridge the old and the new. Has she made some terrible choices in life? Yeah, of course she has! But so has everyone in this room."

"Wu," Tenzin said, "the main problem isn't that we can't trust Kuvira. She's just such a polarizing figure that putting her back in power could cause a civil war."

"Who actually hates her that much besides you guys?"

"Everyone who was imprisoned might object," Eska added, with a hint of a snarky tone.

"It was all in war! Of course there are going to be some imprisonments and super weapon building."

Korra huffed, finally threw in her two cents. "All Wu is saying is have you guys found someone more qualified? Of course it'd be a risky move, but we're also pretty desperate at this point to give these poor people some peace."

"And what would you do to prevent civil war?" Raiko demanded.

"I…don't really think it'd cause civil war. I think the people in Republic City would actually be angrier than the people in the Earth Kingdom," Korra said.

Kuvira tried to clutch onto a thread inside the chaos of this argument, and the first face she managed to latch onto was that of Fire Lord Zuko's. He returned eye contact with a softened expression, eyes shining in thought.

"It's hard to hear them all shouting your mistakes among themselves, as if it doesn't mean something to you," Zuko chided.

"I would never betray the Earth Kingdom, not after all the pain I caused," Kuvira replied.

"You've had to struggle all your life, haven't you? Struggled and fought, found your strength through it?"

Somehow, hearing the parallels right from Zuko's mouth made them so much poignant. "Yes."

"Even if you know you've changed, it'll take a lot of time and a lot of grief to get everyone around you to see it."

She nodded. She thought about what she'd read about the Royal Family and how Zuko had risen to power. Sure, he'd been a member of the most feared and hated nation in the world, but he hadn't personally contributed to any atrocities inflicted under Ozai's rule. He turned a new leaf and helped Avatar Aang bring worldwide stability. If anything, Kuvira saw herself as more like Princess Azula than him.

"What happened to your sister, Fire Lord Zuko?" she asked, tuning out the arguing around her.

The former Lord leaned in, doing the same. "Azula was a lot more broken than any of us realized, and unfortunately, it took us a long time to ever realize it. After she lost the throne, she had a complete mental breakdown, and was kept secure in a mental hospital for many years. She was released to help me find our mother, and she was still very unstable, and in hindsight, finding our mother triggered a lot of that. After we did find our mom, she remained angry and violent toward the situation, and ended up running off into the Forgetful Forest. I lost her trail, but after some time, eventually I returned and found her.

"She remained depressed and unstable for many more years, but I decided that a mental institution wasn't the right place for her. She moved into the royal palace and began going to therapy. She resisted for months, maybe even years, but began opening up. To me, at least. She talked about how our mother and father treated her, and slowly, we regained our bond. She continued to spend most of her days in the palace for years." Fire Lord Zuko glanced at his daughter. "She remained on the royal grounds around until a few months after Izumi was born. At that point, she'd regained a decent grip on her sanity, and I spent a long night debating whether or not to send the guard out to find her. I ultimately decided against it, and let her do whatever she felt like she needed to do. I didn't see Azula for decades."

"But you did see her again," Kuvira asked.

"Yes. Once my daughter took the throne, I trekked the world, to see if I could find her. She lives in a village on one of the Fire Nation's islands. She has enough of the royal fortune to sustain herself without a job, and mostly seems to meditate and do firebending forms. She did not appear to be bothering anyone. I try to visit her a couple times a month, and hopefully when she's too old to take care of herself, she'll allow me or Izumi take her back to the palace."

"When I was a child, my parents used to tell me stories about the Coup of Ba Sing Se if I asked for a scary story. They were big monarchy supporters, and Princess Azula was a monster in their eyes." She looked up at Zuko. "I'm glad I know the truth, though. Not even the history books went past her loss of the throne."

"I've spent most of my life in a world where peoples of all the nations are intertwined, but it still gets to me sometimes, that an Earth Kingdom girl would read accounts of the Fire Nation royal family."

"For years, I would read every account around of your and Avatar Aang's adventures."

Zuko furrowed his brow. "You grew up with Toph's daughter, and you still found room for idolization?"

Kuvira smiled. "Trust me, meeting Toph was beyond my wildest dreams as a kid. Speaking to you is high up there as well."

Zuko gave a small smile while Fire Lord Izumi interjected, "What are her polling numbers in the Earth Kingdom?"

All arguing ceased, all eyes now on the Fire Lord.

"Yeah, don't know," Wu said.

Izumi raised a brow, "You might want to figure that out. Ask the people themselves if they'd accept her as a ruler."

"Would you suggest we ignore the aggressive military past as well?" Raiko asked.

"I suggest you consider what's best for the Earth Kingdom," The Fire Lord replied. "That nation has been without a strong, moral leader for decades, and the only glimmer of hope they had was Kuvira. Regardless, they need a leader, and if Kuvira is the leader they choose, the world leaders have no right to intervene so long as she doesn't attempt to form another empire."

"Besides, we have the most leverage over her," Desna said. "Unlike anyone else the parliament and King Wu choose, there's always the possibility that Kuvira goes back to jail. A rather good incentive to stay on track, I'd think."

Tenzin looked to Kuvira. "What would be your plan to completely stabilize the Earth Kingdom if you were to be placed in office?"

Luckily, she'd been thinking about it for hours over the past few nights.

"Do one last sweep through the states to make sure none of the bandits or other criminal rings have influence within the area. Set up programs for the veterans and those who were completely displaced by any of the aftermath from the Earth Queen's fall. Continue to reduce the rate of unemployment and the black market presence. Campaign for foreign aid where needed, but developing programs for the Earth Kingdom to recreate its own economic growth. When it eventually fits in, bring every state in the Earth Kingdom to the modern age, at least to the extent it applies to quality of life. Running water and food and structure safety codes were a big focus before I became sidetracked by military conquest."

"And you would accept the renegotiated borders?" Raiko asked.

"Yes."

"So," Wu said. "Is everyone good with us trying this out?"

Korra raised her hand. "I'll vouch for her."

Zuko nodded. "Same with me. I think she deserves a second chance to finish the peace campaign she started."

Everyone looked to Izumi, and for the first time that meeting, Kuvira registered the frown on the Fire Lord's face as not a resting expression, but concern. "I feel like it's too brash a move right now. I believe the Earth Kingdom is stable enough to where they can wait long enough to find a prime minister with less history."

"I feel the same way," Tenzin said. "The Earth Kingdom should have a clean slate. Kuvira," he turned to her _._ "We're deeply grateful that you've helped as much as you have with this restoration effort, but surely as a fellow Earth Kingdom citizen, you know how much hope matters."

Kuvira nodded.

"I'd like to see more consistency in your methods before I agree to giving you power again," Tonraq said.

"We really don't care," Desna said.

"Not a chance," Raiko said.

As surprisingly painful as it was to hear this rejection, Kuvira wasn't angry. She understand every sentiment expressed, even Raiko's. If anything, disappointment was the strongest feeling inside her. She looked to Korra, who kept a neutral expression excluding the crease between her brows.

"Even without your support, I can and will still appoint her," Wu said. "There's no one else."

Raiko and Tenzin perked up, like they were holding back on the urge to jump out of their seats.

Kuvira looked to Wu, who was nothing more than a man-child who had power he didn't want thrust upon him, and who, even when he adapted to power, still wasn't taken seriously. It was written everywhere on him.

She put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. I'll help you find someone else."

The meeting adjourned, and everyone stole their last glimpses of her at her on the way out, but Kuvira swore the expressions were less spiteful.

* * *

 "So, now what?" Kuvira asked Korra, as they walked out of City Hall.

"I was thinking we could just start going around to the struggling Earth Kingdom states and seeing how best we can lend a hand. Wu helped me get a house in Ba Sing Se, so we can use that as a base of operations."

"Sounds promising."

"Hey, you're okay, right?" Korra reached out to touch her arm, reassuringly. "That was pretty personal in there."

"They weren't wrong."

"No, but it was a gamble we should've made. Things aren't as good as they think."

Kuvira quirked a brow. "Shouldn't you have mentioned that back there?"

"It's more a gut feeling."

"Nothing in particular?"

"All the news stories have been smaller scale—a scattering of gang beatings and rapes, a couple sightings of motorcycle gangs, a few patches of sicknesses. Obviously, the crimes involving the bandits and gangs are targets for us, but something's rubbing me wrong about the sicknesses. They're all in rural areas, poor areas, so I'm inclined to think it's a malnutrition issue rather than a plague, but didn't you already fix all these towns?"

"It's been five years."

"But to revert to the dark ages?"

"Only one way to find out. Do you have a newspaper?"

Korra walked slightly out of their way and picked one up from a dispenser. Flipping past a cover story about Kuvira's release from prison, they stopped on a page with a short article and a map of a region of the Earth Kingdom near Ba Sing Se.

"Know anything about these states?" Korra asked.

"A thing or two."

She knew a fair amount about the state itself—Lijiang, its capital city sacked during the chaos after Hou-Ting, the surrounding villages having gone from poor to desolate. Nothing out of the ordinary, except that she could've predicted that it would be the first state to fall again if an iron grip on it was lost.

It was also the first state Kuvira had nearly been killed in.


	24. Poisonous Intentions

Just like that, it seemed, Korra and Kuvira left Air Temple Island: one night to help Korra pack, the two of them having loaded their meager luggage and Naga hopping into the back of Korra's car by five in the morning, happily catching the wind as they whipped along.

It took most of the day, but the road trip between Republic City and Ba Sing Se was uneventful: they didn't stop at any of the territories Kuvira and the Earth Empire had conquered years before. She must have spent over five hours sitting in silence, watching the towns and cities pass them by, knowing if she contemplated about it long enough, she could name their capitals, primary exports, and the disposition of their people. If Korra had asked, Kuvira could have given a lengthy anecdote for every town they passed by, ranging from dark tales of how Kuvira had spilled bandit blood on the dirt, to Bolin attempting to write them a national anthem with a Tsungi horn he bought off the biggest con man Kuvira had ever seen (who charged the poor kid sixty yuans because the horn was "touched by the spirits," as if that was a rare trait).

This round, it was Korra's turn to tell the stories. She described her adventures in "The New Team Avatar"—fighting Amon, the Water Tribe civil wars, meeting Avatar Wan, opening the portals, and discovering the new airbenders, peppered with humorous tales along the way.

For a few hours, nothing around them mattered. They could just stay on the road in good spirits and never have to stop, not having to be reminded that Kuvira was a jobless former convict driving through the land she all but enslaved less than ten years before.

"There was some phrase Su told me you used on her to describe why the guard left Zaofu," Korra brought up as they drove into Ba Sing Se.

"And you think I'd remember a specific phrase I used eight years ago while I was emotionally distressed?"

"I'll give you until we reach the middle ring."

As they were about to enter the middle ring, Kuvira rolled her eyes and uttered, "Exotic birds in a cage."

"That's it! Yeah, you know, I thought about it, and I realized that…while locked in that compound, that's kind of how I felt. Trapped, undervalued, antsy. I can't believe Su wouldn't get that, why she got so mad that you left. Didn't she go through the exact same thing as a teenager?"

"Su isn't known for being all that reflective."

"Got to accepting you as her daughter, but never bothered to think you reflected her?"

"Pretty much. So, we're middle ring, right?"

"Upper. Wu's not known for being humble."

Kuvira looked out at the passing buildings. "The last time I was here, without conquering, Su had me give Zaofu's taxes to the Earth Queen. It seemed like such a privilege then to be able to step foot into the upper ring. What a world of difference almost ten years can make. It still looks pretty good here, all things considering."

Their house was not as gaudy as Kuvira dreaded: it was more of a well put together cottage than a mansion or house. There were two bedrooms, but both of them threw their belongings into one, and Naga happily claimed the other queen bed. They grabbed a quick dinner, and tried to turn in early for the night, but they settled for sitting in the living room nursing bottles of sake and baijiu.

"So, tell me about Lijiang. You didn't say much when I asked outside City Hall," Korra asked.

Kuvira had imbibed a good portion of the baijiu—not enough to be drunk, but to where she wasn't so deterred to talk. "We brought Lijiang in right before that sling story, so I was still… _innocent_ , shall we say." She took a sip off the baijiu, not enjoying the taste but satisfied with the warmth it spread to her guts. "The capital city was overflowing with bandits, to the point where the government officials were moved to a village called Doba. First state Bolin got to offer aid in. This was the town overrun with hog monkeys. The beasts were starved out of their homes, just like the people, and would attack and kill children as a source of food. On our way to negotiations with the governor, a couple of my soldiers and I came across a pack of hog monkeys tugging at a child."

Kuvira surrendered the bottle over to Korra, fearing how much she'd drink if she kept nursing it. "I went right into the fray to save the kid, and I managed to get it out in time so one of my soldiers could take the kid to the hospital, but those creatures weren't done with us. While most of them went after the soldiers, one jumped me. It sunk its teeth deep into my shoulder, and my natural reaction was to use the metal sword on my other hand. It skewered the hog monkey, killing it instantly, but it had already taken an actual bite out of my arm. When I shook it off my sword, a piece of flesh this big fell out of its mouth."

Kuvira took the sake bottle and put an index finger a few inches lower than its neck. Korra continued to stare at Kuvira, and Kuvira lowered her shirtsleeve, revealing the scar around her clavicle.

"You can imagine it, but I'm bleeding like a hose at this point, uniform brown, when my soldiers notice." She took a swig. "Now, the rest of this story mostly comes from Baatar and Bolin, so keep that in mind. Bolin is the first one to notice me bleeding out, and bless the poor kid, he carried me and my severed arm flesh over to a hospital, and somehow managed to keep alive as I went into shock with whatever basic first aid he'd learned while training. I make it to the hospital, they run me into surgery, and sew me back together. Bolin switches out for Baatar, and he comes to visit me in the recovery room. The nurses explain how they fixed me up and told Baatar that they'd been forced to put me on painkiller. They recommended that I stay on it for the next several days while I am recovering in the hospital. Baatar comes over to comfort me, and I go from listlessly staring at the room, confused out of my mind **,** to vomiting my guts out. Baatar's concerned, but the nurses brush it off, say it's a common post-operative side effect. Baatar stays long enough for the bout to stop, and goes off to finish the meeting that was delayed because of my hospitalization.

"The governor's a prick, and tries to work my hospitalization to his advantage. He says that we needed to change the terms, considering that I was in their care. Baatar thought about giving in, but decided if the situation had been switched, I wouldn't have compromised." Kuvira took another swig. "So my genius of a boyfriend decides to recruit two of my soldiers to kidnap me from the hospital. Less than an hour later, I'm being carried out of the hospital with the IV still attached to me. They set me in my room and tell Bolin to watch me while Baatar finishes the negotiations without me as leverage."

"They put Bolin in as your nursemaid? Didn't you have an actual nurse with you?" Korra asked, frowning.

"Well, keep in mind that none of them thought there was actually anything _wrong_ with me, only that I needed to take it easy. So, there we are, Bolin first day at the job, and me, high and delirious on painkiller. One too many mortifying innuendos later, Bolin pulls the drip out."

"He pulled out your painkillers?"

Kuvira put a finger up. "Now, let me tell you about this bullshit painkiller. You know how morphine, a legitimate painkiller, is derived from opium? Well some idiots some decades back took the same theory and derived a painkiller from _Si Wong Desert cactus juice_."

"The crazy hallucinogen?"

"Yes, the hallucinogen desert plant! And guess what kind of painkiller this underfunded, idiot-stocked hospital gives me? Cardus, this lesser form, hallucinogen-derived painkiller. So yes, being given large quantities of cardus melts brains, and I was no exception. So, what Bolin really did was give me my few moments of clarity." Kuvira paused, downing some sake. "Half an hour or so passed, and I'm hit with about bout of vomiting, but this one's accompanied by such bad stomach pain that I knew something was horribly wrong. And then it hit me: there was metal inside my body, tons of it."

"They poisoned you?!"

Kuvira nodded. "I scrapped my wits off the floor and just barely managed to bend all the metal out. Arsenic. The kind of thing where they could've blamed my death on a post surgical complication and pay off a medical examiner." Kuvira pushed her glass aside. "I passed out after that, and told Baatar what had happened when I woke up. He tried to convince me to just leave the town, but something just…snapped inside me. I felt so used, livid that they had attempted to kill me after I had just saved a kid's life. Everything about it just felt disgusting, and I couldn't let the assassins get away with it. Once I had some strength back, I threw my bad arm into a sling and burst into the hospital with my soldiers, took all the nurses and surgeons who worked with me. We interrogated them for hours, and one young nurse finally admitted to having been alone in the act. We didn't believe her, but I had my culprit. We took her right there back to the train, with every intention of executing her." She exhaled, her tone shifted into a somber one. "But, when it came down to the moment I had a blade out, ready to lob her head off, I couldn't do it. I almost let her go, but the anger hadn't left, and I now see how much it had been building. I had her sent to one of the earlier labor camps. She died within the first few months, a bit after I made my first kill."

Korra glanced around the room before settling back on Kuvira. "Are these people going to try to kill you again?"

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't even know why they tried to kill me the first time. I have a theory that the governor was making money off the bandits and didn't want his revenue gone, so he hired an assassin, but it was never confirmed."

Korra bit her lip. "Yet, those were the people we thought needed the most help. I wonder if your disguise is good enough."

"I haven't been recognized yet."

"Yeah, but this will be more personal interactions. It might be risky."

"What should we do?"

"Ooh, maybe you could reshape your eyebrows!"

Even under a sheen of alcohol, that sounded like a horrible idea. "What?"

"Your eyebrows are iconic. Change the shape to something more generic and no one would recognize you."

"No!" she snapped.

"Come on! They'd grow back! You want to help these people, yet you need to not be recognized. It's perfect!"

"No!"

"You could do it so it's not overdone. I chopped off nearly all my hair to blend in."

"Then I'll get a haircut."

"You already got a haircut yesterday. Do it." Korra pulled a magazine that had come with the house toward her, glanced at it, and threw it to Kuvira. "Inspiration."

Kuvira reclaimed her glass and knocked it back as she looked at the cover image. All the mover stars did thin eyebrows, with the same curvature that she had then. Really, she'd just be thinning her eyebrows out. It would grow back fine… she hoped.

"Lemme get my supplies," Kuvira said, the alcohol starting to slur her words.

She lurched out of seat and nearly fell to the ground, but it wasn't enough to deter it.

* * *

The next morning, miraculously, the most significant damage of the night was the fact that Kuvira actually had reshaped her eyebrows, drunk.

"I mean, if they're not asymmetrical, I don't see the problem," Korra said as she prepped Naga for their travels into Doba.

"Do you even see what I did to myself?"

"You…thinned your eyebrows? I'm really not seeing the problem here."

"It ruined my entire aesthetic!"

Korra paused, eyebrow raised. "You care about your aesthetic?"

"This was too brash a move. It's like I'm trying to erase my identity."

"You changed your eyebrow shape. Hey, if it means that much to you symbolically, think of it as a practical move." Korra plucked Kuvira's glasses off their perch on Kuvira's shirt collar, handing them to her. "Put your hair in the low ponytail we were talking about."

Kuvira rummaged through a bag already strapped to Naga and found a hairband, doing as she was told.

"You are virtually unrecognizable. See what a little eyebrow reshaping can do?"

Kuvira fished out a mirror from the same bag. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the eyebrows really had sold it—she was unrecognizable. Certainly not if people still thought she'd look like the Great Uniter.

"It doesn't look bad, at least," Kuvira said.

Korra slapped Kuvira on her shoulder as she walked by. "You still look hot, now stop your belly-aching."

"Where's _your_ disguise?"

"You had every opportunity to go buy varri-dye and thread my eyebrows, but after you shaped your eyebrows, you came back into the bedroom and face planted onto the rug. I managed to drag you into bed, but I pretty much passed out right after you."

Kuvira rubbed her temples. "Now that you mention it…"

Korra helped Kuvira up and jumped onto Naga. Kuvira wrapped her arms tight around Korra's waist, a bit tentative about her first polar bear-dog ride. "Some fresh air'll help." Korra smiled. "Note to self: don't get drunk the night before beginning Avatar philanthropy."

"Trust me, if you're able to stand right now, you didn't get as drunk as you could've."

* * *

Doba, the entire territory of Lijiang, was on the verge of collapsing, the same sorry state that Kuvira had walked into eight years before—buildings peeling away, layer by layer; thin bodies walking slowly from place to place; and an aura of resignation all around. So much for Wu's democracy.

The two of them dismounted Naga near the town entrance and surveyed the area.

"Where to first?" Kuvira asked Korra.

"I was hoping _you'd_ know. Maybe the hospital first? I don't see any criminals running the streets, so maybe this place does just has health code problems."

Kuvira crossed her arms. "Let's hope."

The hospital, to Kuvira's relief, was still sitting within the up-to-date structure that the Earth Empire had funded after Lijiang joined them. However, one step in and it was clear as day just how well they were keeping up with health codes and medical efficiency: the waiting area was packed full, patients sprawled across the floor, and crowds gathered like rabid animals around the receptionist's desk, which contained a trapped terrified woman, protected by only a facial mask and a thin layer of glass.

"Maybe we should start with petitioning another makeshift hospital," Korra said through teeth clenched.

"It wasn't even this bad when I came here the first time," Kuvira commented, her heart sinking.

"Do you want to try to find someone to talk to?"

"We'd have to break through the back to find anyone within this stronghold they got set up."

A middle-aged man who had been sitting on the floor rose suddenly, clutching male child in his arms. "Please, nurse, my son needs a doctor! It's getting worse!"

It wasn't even emergency room theatrics; the boy was convulsing, his fingertips blackened.

"I'm sorry, sir, but there are literally no doctors available!" The receptionist called from behind the glass.

People around the man turned to him with annoyed scowls and tightened jaws. "You don't think we all have kids puking their guts out, lying delusional in bed? No one gets a front of the line pass!"

Kuvira had thought there was something off, but hyper-focused on the convulsing boy…

"This isn't a plague," Kuvira whispered to Korra. "It's metal poisoning."

"Like what happened to you?"

"Chronic rather than acute, but just as deadly." Kuvira turned to the father and got his attention. ' _I'm a doctor,'_ she mouthed.

With a hand gesture, the parents carried their kids out behind Kuvira and Korra.

"What're you gonna do? This is a real life kid whose life is on the line," Korra hissed.

"I know what I'm doing," Kuvira answered before turning to the parents. "Is your house nearby? I need some peace for this to work."

The family motioned them to follow. Their house was less than a minute walk from the hospital.

"Aren't you going to ask what other symptoms he's had?" the mother asked, her voice heavy with concern.

"I already know what he has: chronic arsenic poisoning, and he must've gotten a bigger dose this time around," Kuvira replied, as they reached and rushed through the front door. She ordered them to put the boy on the rug on the floor.

"What's your son's name?" Kuvira asked.

"Bao," the mother said.

Kuvira put a hand on the boy's cheek. "Hi Bao. My name's Kuvira, and I'm going to heal you. This might be a little uncomfortable, maybe even painful, but just focus on me and everything will be fine." The boy nodded weakly, and Kuvira ran her hands just above the boy's upper body, catching all the arsenic in his bloodstream. "Are you in school, Bao?"

"Yes," Bao rasped.

"What's your favorite subject?"

"Hi-Hi—"

A scream sliced his word to a syllable. Kuvira inwardly cringed, wondering if she was remembering this process correctly. It hadn't hurt her that much to remove the metal, had it? _Remember that this is a young child, and you had the pain tolerance of a soldier_ , she thought.

Bao continued to thrash and wail. Kuvira spared a moment to look toward Korra and the parents, only to find the blurred image of the father hurdling toward her, shouting, "Get away from him!"

Kuvira ducked in time to get a good slap to the mouth, enough to knock her glasses off but not knock her away from the boy. The wife called the husband's name, tears in her eyes while the husband shook himself off, preparing to charge again like an animal. Korra grabbed him within a second.

Sucking on her aching lip, Kuvira slid off two of the metal strips on her bicep and bound the father's hands and feet together. Not even bothering to put the glasses back on, she returned to the boy.

"It's okay, Bao. I'll try to be more gentle. It'll be over soon," she murmured as she grabbed a hold of the arsenic again.

She'd have to be quick: she compared it to ripping off a bandage, so long as she was careful not to cause internal damage. When Kuvira had expunged the poison from her own body, she removed it from her actual bloodstream—she could feel the metal well enough in her own body to know that she had withdrawn every ounce of it. However, this was trying to remove metal from another human being, and it'd be safest to collect all the metal into one place and remove it from the lungs out the mouth. She just had to be precise enough to not damage any of the fragile systems that the arsenic would have to pass through.

Doable.

She took a deep breath and maneuvered all the arsenic from the lungs to the trachea. "Korra, strap him down for me."

Korra earthbent restraints onto the boy's wrists and ankles.

"Worst part is almost over. Open your mouth," Kuvira said to Bao.

The boy tried his best, and Kuvira managed to remove the poison, expelling from him in a silvery mass, at the expense of a lot of gagging and sputtering.

Korra released the earth restraints and took the poison as Kuvira rolled Bao onto his side, rubbing his upper back in an attempt to sooth him.

"He is…okay?" Bao's mother asked.

"Yes. He may be a bit anemic, but some red meat would fix that," Kuvira answered.

Kuvira looked down, picked up her glasses, and slid them back on, hoping no one had noticed. She made eye contact with the father, his anger having receded, and released his metal bonds.

Bao's parents stared at Kuvira. "What'd you say your name was again?" the father asked, rubbing a wrist.

Before she could answer, she caught Korra's eyes widening, the expression extreme enough where Kuvira knew what the Avatar was staring at: a mob of people were pressed against the windows, watching, and wound up like snakes.

"I'm assuming we should leave…" Kuvira said, carefully.

"I got this."

Korra grabbed a hold of Kuvira and they dropped underground, tunneling for several moments before resurfacing several yards away from the crowd outside the house.

Korra squeezed Kuvira's shoulder. "You're shaking. Everything okay?"

She hadn't even noticed, but with Korra bringing it to her attention, she was shivering, heart hammering in her chest to match. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Korra scanned the crowd. "There's a hospital worker out there. I can try to just get her?"

"Yes, please."

Kuvira retreated into a half-hearted hiding place in an alleyway while Korra grabbed the woman donned in the hospital's uniform.

The moment the hospital worker and Kuvira were within feet of each other, the worker exclaimed, "You cured that boy, removed something. What was it?"

"Arsenic. With a steady hand, heavy metals can be bent out of the body without harming it."

"I know I have no right to ask—"

"Take me to your ER and I'll heal as many people as I can. It's probably from chronic exposure from high arsenic levels in the water. It happens when infrastructure begins to deteriorate."

Relief painted the woman's features. "Does your friend want to come too?"

How the hell was this woman not recognizing Korra?

Korra and Kuvira exchanged a look. Korra leaned in, "I'm going to go look into that arsenic water thing. Meet me back at Naga near the front of town at midnight."

* * *

It was like an assembly line: nurses would wheel patients in and strap them down; Kuvira would remove the metal from their bodies, and a new patient would take his place. And spirits, Kuvira had never realized how mentally taxing it was to perform such a precise bending for as long as she had to do it.

Hours passed in a close-to-overwhelming blur, with Kuvira only stopping to hydrate, eat on a few cashews offered by the nurse, use the restroom, and rest her head in her arms whenever bouts of dizziness hit her. She was well aware she was pushing her limit, especially for someone unaccustomed to the life of an urgent care practitioner, but something inside her kept her moving, working, saving these people.

The sky was pitch black by the time Kuvira removed the metal from the last patient in the clinic. She managed to stumble into a chair instead of passing out onto the formerly vomit-and-piss-covered tile floor.

"That was incredible," Song, the nurse who'd originally grabbed Kuvira, complimented.

"If any of your nurses are metalbenders, I could teach you how to do it."

"I am. How long are you and the Avatar staying?"

Kuvira's eyes shot open, finally registering that this woman _did_ know what was going on. "I don't think we can spare more than a few days. I don't know."

"If you're back tomorrow, I'd be honored to learn. I could teach any of my nurses once you're gone."

Kuvira removed the glasses, mentally cursing her drunk self to massacring her eyebrows for a disguise that didn't work. "You know who I am, don't you?"

"Yes. I've never seen anyone but the Great Uniter with the kind of metalbending talent you displayed today." Song paused. "I'm not going to lie to you **.** The citizens might be grateful and forgiving if you revealed who you are, but there are plenty of people higher up who still hate you as much as they did when the governor recruited those nurses to poison you."

"So there's no one else?"

"No. Someone must've dumped something extra in the well. No one was coming in with these kinds of symptoms until now."

Kuvira nodded, slipping the glasses back on as she looked around the now empty clinic.

Correction: _close_ to empty.

"What's that boy still doing here?" Kuvira asked, motioning towards a toddler she had treated several hours before, still sitting on a chair that was a size too big in the waiting area.

"He's a local orphan. Some of the older boys from the orphanage dropped him off this afternoon with a note detailing his symptoms. We've been calling the orphanage director to pick him up, but she hasn't answered. I figured I'd wait until morning when it'd be safe to have one of the other kids come get him."

"Is the orphanage close?"

"Yes."

"I can take him home."

"Thank you."

Kuvira offered Song a smile before she approached the boy, kneeling at his level. He looked up at her with heavy-lidded eyes.

"I'm taking you back home. Is that okay?" she asked him.

The boy nodded sleepily as she scooped him into her arms. It had been years since she'd held a child this small, not since publicity stunts where'd she'd play with babies to appear a down-to-earth leader, but the positioning of the boy came naturally to her.

He slowly rested his head against Kuvira's shoulder, and she readjusted him in response as she received directions from the nurse, and then headed out.

There was a nip in the air, and Kuvira really started to feel the heat transfer between her and the boy. She sighed, tired but relishing the first spurt of happiness she'd had all day. She knew it was some biological quirk, some automatic maternal instinct kicking in having this helpless child so close, but she couldn't help but think it was something else. Something deep — an understanding of what it felt to be vulnerable orphan, like this boy. Sure, she didn't know what it was like to live in an orphanage, vying for strangers' love, but she knew the relief of finally finding comfort in sleeping an _actual_ home. He stirred a bit in his sleep, and she found herself cradling the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair. She hoped he could feel the unfiltered, unmerited love she harbored for him in those moments.

With the orphanage in sight, Kuvira stopped abruptly. It had been so subtle, the slightest tapping of heels and toes behind her, but it sent her on high alert. She pivoted around, hoping she was just being paranoid after what Song had told her.

As she turned around, a fist-sized stone struck her from the back, sending her to the floor, barely able to shield the boy from the impact. His eyes flew open and his face screwed up as if he were about to cry, but Kuvira hushed him. Shielding him with her body, she looked up to face her attackers. Five burly men on motorcycles, only one with a weapon. A load of bending gang members, then.

"Whatever you want to do, leave him out of it," Kuvira said.

One of the gang members dismounted and chuckled. "You're all we want anyway, sugar."

Kuvira's stomach flipped, but she kept her focus. It was all words; they hadn't shown their fighting chops yet. _You're exhau—_ she shook her head and took a deep breath. Sent the boy behind a bench several yards away from the fight.

"I dare you to try," she growled as she got to her feet.

The Smooth Talker, the leader, exchanged an amused look with his comrades. "First one to pin her down gets to go twice."

For a serious moment, she considered pulling out a slab of metal and lobbing Smooth Talker's head off, but there was no rush of rage and energy to make the thought manifest into action. Plus, she had the boy's (presumed) innocence and her own sanity to consider, and she wasn't going slip into old habits and become a killer again.

By the time she'd decided, the Smooth Talker's companion had chucked another head-sized rock at her. She dodged it, the rock whizzing by so close she could feel the air current as it passed on her ear. What were these bastards doing? Trying to kill her or doing a sloppy job of subduing her?

She kicked up her own dirt in response, wrenching the earth below the earthbender and twisting his ankle along with it. The bender cried out in pain and clutched his leg, but didn't fall over.

Smooth Talker laughed. "You think that's gonna stop him? You **,** an earthbender, little lady? You fight more like an airbender!"

_How exactly that is an insult?_

She dodged two more flying rocks, one sent by the leader and another from a second gang-member. What was wrong with her? She'd fought more raiders and crooks than this at once before. It couldn't just be the uncomfortable proximity that was getting her. The Smooth Talker and second man charged at her and she heaved up a rock wall. It slammed into him, cracking his nose and reeling him back, but he didn't reel for long. Within seconds, he pushed his body back into the rock wall. Had it been anyone else, had it been her that morning, she could've managed, but his brute strength overpowered her, pushing her digging heels back. She could feel him attempting to break apart the rock to get to her, and felt the biker with the hammer approaching from behind.

She untethered the rock wall from the bottom, kicking it into an upwards rotation. Smiling a bit, she slid under the rock and let it carve the remaining 180 degrees, taking Smooth Talker and the non bender along with it.

In the moments Smooth Talker and the non-injured earthbender got out from under the rock, Kuvira caught her breath. She didn't know how long the adrenaline could compensate for how tired she was. She knew her metal strips were her signature move, and she had no idea what these guys would react if they discovered her identity.

What other choice did she have, though?

She peeled off two metal strips and bound the injured earthbender together, one for his ankles and one for his hands. He went down, but all eyes went to her. She knocked the other earthbender off his feet with a single metal strip to his ankle and a blunt hit to the kidney with a jutting earth column. The fifth guy, the one who'd practically been doing nothing this whole fight, went down with a slab of metal to his eyes and a shift from the dirt. She wheeled around and sent a spinning piece of metal at the non bender and Smooth Talker. Smooth Talker managed to avoid what would've cut them both perfectly, but it sliced deep enough into the non bender's side.

Kuvira sent out two metal strips onto Smooth Talker's wrist, slammed him into the earth, and encapsulated him in it up to his neck.

"It can't be," Smooth Talker whispered. For a moment, Kuvira thought this fight was over.

Then, Smooth Talker smiled. She felt the gang member who hadn't thrown a single blow get to his feet. He got into a bending stance that was definitely not earthbending.

She turned around, only to barely dodge a fistful of fire. She slipped away, trying to regain her distance she usually fought with, but the firebender was relentless, delivering punch after punch after punch. This wasn't like Korra's firebending either; this man's fire was hotter, with the speed and impact as if he were chucking rocks. She sprung, light on her feet, dodging with the proper techniques she'd taught Korra, but more blows were required, defending herself by pulling up rock shields. She heard Smooth Talker's restraints snap. Her heart was hammering in her chest, but her endurance was waning. Every piece of metal she shot out had to come behind waves of flame.

It was as if she had fought this man before, he didn't leave 'windows.' It was as if the guy wasn't breathing, a machine rather than a man. There was no other way someone could land blow after blow without sacrificing speed, accuracy, or energy level.

One well-placed blow shot Kuvira backwards. She braced the ground beneath her, softening the dirt, managing to land on her feet. Last second, Smooth Talker raised a rock pillar, Kuvira whipped into it by the bend of her spine. The blow should've knocked her unconscious, but disoriented her instead. She crumpled to the ground, caught by the firebender like a rag doll.

"So, who goes double?" the firebender asked, handing over Kuvira to the leader as he lowered the earthy pillar and approached, still trapping her hands.

The Smooth Talker positioned himself behind her, shoving her down to her knees. "She's got two holes," He laughed. "It's her natural state! They don't call her the _Great Uniter_ for nothing!"

She could think of at least three ways she could turn these two inside out, but it dawned on her that her second wind wasn't coming fast enough. The firebender had a death grip on her hands, as if he knew what she could do with just the flick of a finger.

_Just wait for an opening_ , she thought with a lump rising in her throat.

She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself, only for the screams to come from someone else. The weight on her legs lifted, the grip on her wrists gone. She opened her eyes and found Korra beside her, and the unconscious, bleeding bodies of Smooth Talker and the firebender beyond her.

"Are you okay?" Korra asked, horror straining her voice as she offered an arm.

Kuvira nodded, grabbing Korra's arm to get back onto her feet, before she was pulled into a tight embrace. As Korra's touch awoke the nerves in Kuvira's skin, Kuvira felt her mind slide out of a place of numbness and shock. She could feel herself shaking, skin clammy, afraid to tense a single muscle thinking she could still feel the men's grips on her. She felt sick, but couldn't tell if it was queasiness, lightheadedness, or a panic attack. The best she could do was focus on her breathing over the thudding of her heart and wait for the physical symptoms to pass.

_Focus on something else._

She pulled away from Korra, her eyes darting around. "Where's the boy?"

Korra looked over her shoulder, and the toddler came running over then, his face stained in tears. Kuvira rushed to the boy and scooped him into a hug, legions more relieved that he was okay than she'd ever be for herself.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that. Everything's okay, I'll get you home," Kuvira consoled him.

Kuvira started down the path toward the orphanage, and Korra followed. "What exactly happened?"

Finally, it hit her:

They had overpowered her. She'd nearly been gang raped. She had lost.

"Those men…they came out of nowhere. The remaining bandits around this region, I imagine. They…overpowered me. I don't know how I allowed it to happen…"

Korra watched her with a somber expression. "Five years in solitary doesn't leave you unscarred. It's only natural you aren't as good a fighter as you once were…"

"Let's not talk about it," Kuvira interjected, bitterly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"I know. No, I'm sorry. I'm just—it's been a long day."

They returned the boy to the orphanage, a solid five minutes spent with the three of them standing outside, listening to a sluggish pair of feet move around the house. A middle-aged woman with bed-mussed hair, a thin robe, and a scowl answered the door. Kuvira wanted to hate the woman seconds after seeing her, but relief did cross through the director's features.

"Spirits, Park, where have you been? The other boys said they brought you back from the hospital hours ago," she said as she accepted the groggy toddler and proceeded to set him down on the floor, making him stand, swaying in exhaustion.

"He was sitting in the hospital for hours," Kuvira answered. "We only noticed him once everything calmed down."

"He's cured?"

"Yes. It wasn't an illness; there was an outbreak of heavy metal poisoning. He's fine now."

"Good." The director turned to Park. "Park, say thank you to the kind women!"

Park gave thanks, and Kuvira filled her aching heart with prayers for the boy finding adoptive parents soon.

* * *

The ride back to Ba Sing Se felt longer than the hour or so it truly was **.** As much as Kuvira wanted to just collapse into bed and hope the physical exhaustion would spare her any potential nightmares, Korra dragged her into a bath she'd drawn in the flashy corner bathtub that practically had Wu carved into it.

"Korra, please…" Kuvira mumbled.

"No. You're really beat up, and this'll help."

Kuvira sighed in defeat and removed her clothes, acutely aware of how comfortable she was stripping in front of Korra. She'd never been at ease naked, and tended to push it to the back of her mind even during sex, but there she was, making casual eye contact with Korra as she slid her underwear off. _Must be love_ , Kuvira thought as she watched the steam billow out of the bathwater. She stepped in, but not without a hiss of pain escaping between her teeth. She tried not to protest, but Korra had drawn it about twenty degrees too hot.

"Is it too hot?" Korra asked, mid removal of her own clothes.

"Maybe not for a _dragon,_ " Kuvira remarked as she recoiled from the burning water.

Korra offered her a sheepish grin and readjusted the temperature with waterbending. After testing it again, Kuvira stepped in, inhaled and sunk into the hot water, letting it envelope her head to toe. When she resurfaced, Korra was lying beside her, her short hair sticking to her face. Kuvira smiled and brushed the hair back.

"Sorry about the temperature," Korra apologized, "Once I mastered firebending, I started to sort of lose my sense of extreme heat. Mako and I used to think it was the most efficient and romantic thing to take showers together, and we used to have the water so hot we'd have a steam room waiting outside every time."

"Su had the most amazing spa for members of her guard," Kuvira reminisced. "There was nothing better than getting off a rough graveyard shift and dropping into one of the baths to watch the sunrise."

Korra wrapped her arm around Kuvira's shoulder, and Kuvira sunk into the water up to her chest, resting her head against the tub rim as she threaded an arm around the Avatar's waist. It felt like they'd never been this close to one another before and the soapy water made Korra's skin as soft as velvet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Korra asked.

"No **.** "

"I messed up when I tried to talk to you right after. I don't mean to imply that there's something wrong with you. I just meant that if you're slower, it's nothing you could've prevented. You might not have enough distance yet, but what you went through was a living hell. I really shouldn't have let letting you jump back in like this. You're an _amazing_ fighter, but you need time to recover."

"Korra, don't—"

"And trust me, these aren't empty words. I know what it's like to shoulder the knowledge that you're a skilled bender but you can hardly land a punch. It will pass. You need to regain your confidence, yes, but you also need to acknowledge where you stand right now. You're discovering your baseline strengths and weaknesses. It's okay that you kick ass in healing, but can't win in a fight against five huge guys."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" Kuvira said, dryly.

"Only if it does."

She sighed. "How did you do it? Be so weak, and persevere."

"You made it through five years in solitary."

"Yeah, and then I got out, and it was supposed to be a swift turnaround. Everything was supposed to return to normal! I was supposed to stop being the pathetic prisoner I was for five years. I was stronger than this as a damn child! I just—I…" She shook her head, her throat painfully closing in. "I can't wait any longer."

Korra held Kuvira while the frustrated tears mixed with the bathwater. "I promise, your time will come and you'll be better than you were before." She kissed Kuvira's forehead. "I promise."

Kuvira laced her fingers with Korra's under the bath water. "Hope you're right."

For a while, they soaked without exchanging words, not even long after the tears stopped.

"Let's try to stick together for the next few towns we try to help," Korra said, breaking the silence. "I think creating that spirit portal was supposed to tell us that we work best as a team."

"Yeah…"

Korra smiled. "You know what else we're good at together?"

"This?" Kuvira answered with a bit of playfulness in her voice, leaning in to kiss her.

For several precious moments, Kuvira was convinced that as long as she had Korra, something good truly would come out of all this suffering.

 


	25. Second Wind

Several weeks passed as Korra and Kuvira traveled around the Earth Kingdom, taking on tasks ranging from repairing houses to fighting off bands of roaming marauders. Korra never left Kuvira's side and frankly, Kuvira preferred it that way. The close call with the biker gang had shaken her more than she had anticipated, and while waking up in the middle of the night to panic attacks was bad enough, she knew it would be crippling for them to occur during waking hours. Korra knew the phantom all too well, and was more than willing to teach Kuvira how to get a handle on it. Korra had tried to put logic into the attacks, explaining to her how it was most likely a reaction of being out of solitary confinement — a reflex Kuvira could learn how to control in due time, but had not learned how to quell them yet.

With plans to go (in Korra's words) "clean up some ass-blasted town called Chin," later that morning, Kuvira and Korra stood around the stove, staring at a cook book, trying to find a recipe that could be completed in less than fifteen minutes and required minimal skills. They'd just done a three-day trip of helping build a schoolhouse and clinic in a populous yet rundown town in the northern Earth Kingdom, effectively ending their little healing campaign up north for the southern Earth Kingdom to take its place. Neither of them would admit it, but they'd agreed to help Chin first in hopes of it serving as a rest before they returned to repairing the bigger issues down south.

There was a knock on their door, to which Korra called a half-hearted, "Door's open!" as she continued to stare at the book. "How is it that between the Avatar and the most successful military leader the Earth Kingdom's seen in centuries that we can't cook something more advanced than sliced fruit before consulting a book?"

"Why do you hate the town of Chin so much?" Kuvia frowned, leaning into the small kitchen island. "Don't they have an Avatar Day?"

"They did. Then I started a new wave of Avatar hate after I opened the spirit portals."

Kuvira's first reaction was to burst out laughing.

"Spirits, Korra, what'd you do to Kuvira?" Wei joked as he and his brother entered the kitchen.

"Yeah, she hasn't laughed in ten years," Wing added.

Even though she and the twins had been on decent (not the playful older sister-younger brothers relationship they had as children) terms ever since Kuvira first offered them accurate betting information back in prison, but she still couldn't believe that they'd actually maintained a relationship. Sure, the relationship was nothing more than them popping up like this, uninvited, to relay some news of minor importance, but Kuvira took what she could get. The fact that they talked to her like a normal person was leagues better than indifferent lack of communication from Huan and the hateful ignoring of Opal.

Wei leaned onto the counter, surveying the scene. "Where are you two going today?"

" 'Some 'ass-blasted' town called Chin'," Kuvira answered.

"How important is that to you?" Wei asked. "Because _we're_ actually going to Gaoling."

Kuvira wrinkled her brow. "The town Toph grew up in?"

The twins pulled out two big grins and four tickets. "We're all going to Earth Rumble LXXXV!"

Kuvira initially smiled at the thought, but watching Korra's jaw drop and dash to Wei, hugging him in pure joy, made her crack a giddy grin.

"I love you guys," Korra said, finally releasing them from her bear-like hug. "I've wanted to go to Earth Rumble since I was a kid."

The twins beamed. "Grandma Toph's co-hosting the event with Chu and she got us the best seats in the house. Right in the section where Chu picks a volunteer to face the victor for extra yuans."

"You should ask Grandma Toph if she'll make Chu pick you, Kuvira," Wei said. "You need cash, right?"

She swallowed nervously at the offer. The very notion of going up against a professional earthbending fighter made her stomach drop. "I'll have to decline."

"Grandma Toph invited us to hang at the Beifong estate, before if you two can tear yourselves apart from the people of Chin."

Korra and Kuvira exchanged a look "What were we going to do?" Korra inquired.

"I was going to help hand out new clothing and you were going to fight for your Avatar honor."

Korra hesitated. "What do you think?"

Kuvira shrugged. "Chin can wait if you want to go to Gaoling."

"Might as well seize this opportunity."

* * *

 Kuvira had set foot in the Beifong estate only once before: within a few months of being absorbed into the Beifong household, Su had needed to swing by and pick something up from her grandparents' estate, and had decided to take Kuvira and Baatar with her since Baatar Sr. had needed to work, the younger kids were too much of a handful, and Su wanted some company. It had been a quick in-and-out trip, certainly not enough time to truly realize how far up the high society ladder the Beifongs were, and Kuvira couldn't be sure how she'd feel entering it again.

As it turned out, the estate held no real emotional connections beyond the shimmer of awe at how beautiful it was.

"Why does Toph keep this place if she doesn't live here?" Korra asked the twins as they made their way from front gates to the house.

The twins shrugged, and Wei answered, "Real estate investment?"

Toph stood waiting at the front door. Looks were deceiving: even at her age, with her hair white and her once proud self now hunched-over and bony due to the passage of time, she still commanded a tough-as-nails aura. Certainly not one to trifle with.

"So, you two managed to get the love-birds out to see me," Toph quipped, holding feint interest as she crossed her arms.

Both Korra and Kuvira attempted to keep a straight face, even as sudden increase in their heartbeats were dead give-aways. At least the twins seemed to be taking it as a joke, unaware that the two were keeping their relationship under the radar.

"Thanks for the tickets, Toph," Korra greeted.

"Just be ready at seven."

There was a pregnant pause, almost as if Toph knew Kuvira was hesitating to speak.

"Do you still keep that meteorite here?" Kuvira relented, calmly.

Toph raised her brow for a moment, her glassy eyes reflexively flicking over to her. "It's in the back."

As Korra and Kuvira began to make their way through the entryway, they could hear the echoes of Toph's bark: "… And _don't_ break anything."

Korra and Kuvira picked a room equipped with two queen beds, and threw their belongings aside before heading into the backyard in search of meteorite. Turns out Toph had tucked it into the dead center of the estate's backyard, almost as if the estate itself was cradling it.

"You know how I taught you all my metalbending techniques?" Kuvira started as she bent and reshaped a chunk of meteorite. She halved it, tossing one piece to Korra.

"Yes," Korra answered, half distracted as she manipulated it.

"Could you teach me some of your moves?"

"Sure. But, what moves, exactly?"

"You have mastery over all four elements and several sub-elements. Surely you've discovered techniques that can transcend one element to another."

Korra's meteorite lowered as she hesitated. "I don't think I've done anything like that."

"Teach me some waterbending forms." Kuvira liquidated the meteorite. "I want to wield this the way you did back in the Colossus."

Korra hesitated. "I don't know. Nothing against you, but when I train, I tend to go a little crazy and you're still—"

"Korra, I'm fine." Maybe fine wasn't the right word. "I survived training with Toph at age eight. Surely I can handle whatever you can throw at me."

"Kuvira…"

Kuvira could feel her chest tightening, as if Korra's lack of belief in her was as much a trap as the recent anxiety.

"I'm not about to break." Kuvira paused. "Please."

Korra sighed. "Okay." She bent her own piece of meteorite into a malleable mass she slid into a water bending stance. "Waterbending is all about fluidity, using your own opponent's energy against them. Now do as I do."

Kuvira mirrored Korra's pose, her hands still busy with the shifting metal orb.

"Drop your metal and try to land a shot on me," Korra called, as she shot the liquid metal towards her. Kuvira only had seconds to remember how Korra had done in the Colossus, before copying the same movement. She caught the metal with ease, and tried to send it back as quickly as she could, releasing as much of the energy she'd absorbed in the catch. The shot was weak, more like flicking some water off a knife rather than an actual waterbending move.

"What happened? I copied the form you used," Kuvira muttered.

"You used two very closely executed but separate movements. As an earthbender, you're at ease stopping the blow, but what you need to do is catch the blow and make its energy yours. As a healer, you clearly know how to feel chi running through the body and even how to recognize it in yourself, but waterbending involves a seamless transition between the two." Korra paused, playing with her liquid metal as she thought. "You know what it's like? Yoga. You know how you repeat movements until you can feel the energy flowing through you? And, I bet it's a lot like dancing too, if you ever had to absorb someone's movement to execute your own. Just think of the metal as that energy. Feel it, catch onto its energy path, and use that velocity to form your own move. Kind of like if someone grabs onto you, you spin them around to throw them off, use their force against them." Korra picked up her metal. "Want to try again?"

Kuvira nodded and Korra shot the liquid metal at her. Catching it for the briefest of moments like a curveball, she flowed along with its movement, bending the metal just enough to merely guide it and allowed it to curl behind her before she sent the metal streamlining back.

"There you go! Once more," Korra encouraged, as she whipped it around her body and back at Kuvira, soon trading the metal in a nearly unbroken circle.

Toph appeared on the sidelines just as Korra was about to explain and illustrate another waterbending technique. "You two know there's a large petroleum well under here," Toph remarked, " _If_ you want to splash around in something Gutter Rat can bend."

Kuvira dismissed the snark as Toph losing her tact in old age, and slammed her foot onto the grass to read the earth herself. The vibrations returned, and she could 'see' how the well laid few feet to Kuvira's left. Kuvira directed Korra in the right direction and started a few feet diameter hole in the earth, pushing the ground several dozen feet down. Korra repeated the move with double the force: earth below gave a shudder and out streamed a cascade of oil, dousing them both. Kuvira bent and flicked off all the tar while Korra only removed enough to where she could see. The tar was certainly lighter than the meteorite, but its viscous properties made it slightly harder to control.

"Aren't we destroying your property?" Korra asked as she tried to 'scoop' up a large ball of petroleum.

"You think I actually care about this place?" Toph replied as she manipulated and shot a bullet of petroleum at Kuvira. She would've completely toppled over, but managed to manipulate Toph's force to keep her own balance.

"Now that we have enough material," Korra said. "Let's see what forms I can teach you."

* * *

 Hours flew by as Korra and Kuvira "splashed around" in the liquid earth, their arms and faces stained in black, moves transitioning from one to another gracefully, the two of them smiling and laughing together like kids. Kuvira admitted to Korra she had not "had as rich of a bending lesson" as this since she'd last trained with Toph as a child.

With barely an hour to spare, the small petroleum reserve seeped to a trickle, and the two headed back to the mansion to shower, joining the twins at the living room afterwards.

"Who're you betting on?" Wei asked Kuvira, who was finishing toweling off her hair.

"I want to bet on the Dragon, but his chances of winning are slim."

"Why not? He kicked ass last year and only lost to the Catgator because of inexperience. The Hunter retired."

"Yeah, and the Catgator will win. He finally has a chance a winning the belt, with the Hunter now out. The sheer determination that guy has will seal his chances. He's not messing around anymore."

"I don't know," Wei brooded. "The Dragon has improved in just one year, much more than other fighters have in decades. The only way the Catgator would win would be if he cheated."

"And he wouldn't cheat." Kuvira bit her inner cheek. "It's a real toss up, honestly. How much you two willing to lose?"

"Come on, Kuvira! You've got to have something in the bag," Wing badgered.

Kuvira glanced at Korra, thinking about how even the most amazing earthbenders would have their work cut out for them fighting a fully realized Avatar. Watching her fight the past few weeks during their travels, Kuvira knew she was almost at the top of her game.

"So you think Toph would rig the audience match for us?" Kuvira said.

"Yeah, as long as she gets a kick out of it," Wei snorted.

Kuvira gave it some thought, folding up her towel. "In the final match, put all your money on an audience volunteer that is arranged to face the finalist."

The twins looked to Korra. "Kuvira, you're a genius."

"You sure you want to do this?" Kuvira asked Korra.

Korra shrugged. "I haven't done underground cage earthbending since I removed the poison, but how hard can it be?" She paused. "Are there any rules?"

"Try not to kill your opponent and don't fall out of the ring," Wing said.

"Yeah, I'll do it!"

Kuvira and the twins traded a mischievous look. "Which one of you will tell Toph?" Kuvira asked.

Wing sighed, raised his hands in mock surrender, and headed out.

 

Kuvira had dreamt of attending Earth Rumble since she was a child, and somehow, the loud, overcrowded, ancient sports venue was everything she could've ever hoped for, and more. The lines were endless: Korra, Kuvira, and Wei sent Wing in line for food the moment they walked in. Kids and teens ran around in homemade costumes of the featured fighters, and the contestants' names buzzed through the crowds, creating a humming, hushed cacophony.

Then there was the matter of their seats. Toph must have pulled some strings — the four of them were seated in a boxed off section, high enough off the ground to not be hit by the boulders being chucked out of the ring, but close enough to be able to read the expressions on the fighters' faces. When an official went through their section to take bets, Kuvira forked over five thousand yuans and gladly accepted a beer from Wing right after.

"I know I have the Avatar thing going for me, but you're placing some serious faith in me," Korra commented as Kuvira took a sip of beer.

Kuvira leaned in, whispering into Korra's ear. "I can't have a little faith in my girlfriend?"

Korra laughed, and as tempting as it was to finally put her arm around or inch closer to her, Kuvira kept her distance.

The tournament started soon after, the host Chu introducing Toph but otherwise leaving her on the pedestal the two of them occupied between matches with no further commentary. It seemed like a very Toph move, to not participate, but Kuvira didn't think about it long. No, because watching those earthbending fights live was a million times more exhilarating than the greatest of movers, without the stress of war to boot.

Two hours, another beer, and a whole lot of rage over certain match outcomes later, the last standing finalists were the Dragon and the Catgator. Neither of them taunted each other before the match, and Kuvira paid rapt attention to their fighting methods, in the off chance Korra wanted to formulate a strategy before her match.

The Dragon played on offense in the first few seconds of the match, pummeling the Catgator with milk jug-sized rocks. The Catgator deflected most of the blows, but the hits that did land knocked him precariously backwards. The older fighter didn't appear phased as he skidded closer to the ring's edge. Right before he was about to slip over the lip and fall, he jutted out a rock plank and regained his full balance, before hopping back into the ring.

A moment of stillness passed.

The Catgator straightened out his arms and flexed his fingers, before performing a pulling motion, and the Dragon was swallowed into the earth.

Two seconds passed. Five. Ten.

The crowd began to groan and shout. _Get him out, get him out, what are you doing?_

Fifteen.

"This can't be legal," Korra hissed.

"As long as he doesn't suffocate…" Kuvira said, uneasiness seeping into her voice.

_Get him out, you asshole!_ the crowd shouted.

The Catgator smirked and brought the Dragon back up, the young man's face ashen and his eyes bloodshot. With a crack that turned stomachs, the Dragon flew out of the ring, a cascade of blood floating between the fighter and the rock column the Catgator used to propel him out. The Dragon hit the back wall of the arena with such force, it appeared an indent of the man's head was left into the stone surface. Everyone leapt out of their seats to better see the defeated Dragon on the floor, twitching like a dying bug.

"Did he just knock him out with a shot to the face?" Wei exclaimed.

"You can kill someone just punching them there," Wing added.

"Does he still win?" Korra asked.

Chu and Toph lowered onto the ring, neither of them smiling, and Chu lifted the Catgator's arm in victory. The crowd booed and spat, but the Catgator had won.

"So I'm thinking… should I just bust a rock column into his nuts and knock this guy down to size?" Korra whispered to Kuvira.

Chu took the microphone. "As per tradition dictates, Master Toph has randomly selected a member of the volunteer section to challenge the Catgator for his belt, title, and this," Emphasizing his point, he held up a small cloth bag, "sack of ten thousand yuans. Come on up: one-twelve."

The moment everyone, including the Catgator, looked to find seat 1-12, Kuvira had been swigging beer.

And then realized 1-12 was her seat.

Kuvira, Korra, and the twins exchanged a drawn out look, everyone's expression very clearly articulating the sentiment _what the fuck is Toph doing_?

With her blood chilling and anxiety gripping Kuvira's insides, she turned to Korra, silently pleading for some alternative. _I can't do this — get me out of here!_ she mentally screamed to herself, to Korra, to the universe — whoever'd listen.

As Chu approached Kuvira's seat, Korra put a firm hand over Kuvira's, temporarily easing her out of her growing panic.

"Remember who you are," Korra murmured, giving a quick, reassuring squeeze. "You're a thousand times better than this guy. You know this."

_Remember who you are_.

There was no chance that Kuvira could win this fight, but the Great Uniter would have no problem with it.

Her mind began to buzz loudly with a thousand thoughts. Could she really fall back on her former persona? Was she willing to risk and pin the results of the past few years of internal and spiritual rebuilding on this one fight?

Wing and Wei were suddenly in front of her. One snatched her glasses and the other chucked a full cup of ice cold water in her face.

"I'm not drunk!" she snarled at the twins, restraining herself from slapping one of them upside the head.

It was exactly what she needed, though. She would not fight as her old self: either she would do this her way, or not at all.

Still, she could do with not visibly shaking as she stepped into the ring. Emotional repression couldn't really be just a Great Uniter trait, could it?

The Catgator started laughing as Kuvira pushed strands of her now wet hair out of her face.

"Chu, do you really think people are gonna enjoy me fighting a quaking little lady like this?" he growled at the host. Out the window went any chance the Catgator would give to pity her.

"She's in the volunteer section," Chu answered. "She obviously knows how to fight. Hustling isn't illegal."

Kuvira took a deep breath and shifted into her stance, her hammering heartbeat drowning out the crowd. She just needed to evade this guy's attacks long enough to land one blow. All she had to do was knock him out of the ring. She'd been in much worse fights

( _As the Great Uniter_ )

before.

The Catgator gave a smirk as they maintained eye contact; she swallowed.

He kicked off the match with a series of large rocks. Easy enough to dodge. She thought about what Su had taught her as a preteen about combining the grace and agility of dance into fighting to create a negative jing style almost as perfect as an airbender's. She didn't know why she was thinking of Su then, but it bought her ten seconds in the ring dodging rocks.

"We don't accept airbenders into the ring," the Catgator barked.

_You're weak. You're out of practice. You can't think two seconds ahead of this clown._

He aimed high and low, and abruptly, Kuvira could not evade. She miscalculated how high he'd aimed a jagged rock and moved the ground beneath her, jolting her towards the ground faster than she could've sliding on her own. Once she was sure the rock passed, she rooted her right foot behind her and stabilized into a proper stance again. _Too close_.

"So, you _can_ earthbend after all," her opponent sneered with a growing smile.

He shifted the ground beneath Kuvira. She imagined he was placing a bid to strain her leg muscles by pulling her into an unexpected splits, but she was naturally flexible enough to where it didn't hurt. Several wolf whistles tore from the crowd. With both hands and feet on the earth, Kuvira felt the oncoming rock column he planned to shove between her legs. She planted one hand on the ground and snapped her legs back together. When the earth column shot up, it propelled Kuvira into the air, making a clean landing. _One showy move before you lose your footing._

Seeing the Catgator's teeth gnash and the crowd's cheers, growing steadily more wild over her evasive maneuvers hinted to Kuvira that the fight was reaching its turning point. She may have been untouched thus far, but she had yet to deliver a blow, spending too much time on defense and dodging. The longer she waited for the Catgator's next move, the more her mind began to wander.

Her thoughts returned to the firebender gang cycler who had a shudderingly similar stamina to this guy. She thought about she'd lost command of her footwork, how her own uncertainty had destroyed her stance, her roots, her power. She could still feel the shake of anxiety and fear through even the best of moves. Maybe she was imagining it, but standing in the ring, even knowing she was completely still, she could feel herself shake. _Like cutting down that ancient tree's roots..._

In those brief moments of distraction, a rock was belted into her scarred shoulder and she was sent back a few feet. As she composed herself, another rock hit her.

And another.

And another.

And another.

There was no room to gather herself: pain not withstanding, this guy had an ungodly amount of force in his blows, and he showed no sign of slowing his barrage. If she tried to put a stop to it, she would break her own bones over him.

It was then he shot a rock roughly the size of her torso into her gut, knocking her glasses off and breaking them on impact as she skidded across the ring. Spirits, that, _that_ one hurt — It knocked the wind out of her. She only had a few seconds to prolong this fight, and for a moment, she was ready to take the last blow. There was no way she could straighten back out before the Catgator delivered his finishing move.

How had she gotten so _bad_? Prison couldn't take away skill; it wasn't like she'd forgotten forms or the fundamentals of combat. The only reason she was going to lose this fight was because she was letting her own fear of failure turn her into a failure. Why was she letting that get the better of her? Was some fabricated sense of security worth being pushed out of the ring by some asshole who definitely wasn't a master and fought like a schoolyard bully?

She was a master earth and metalbender, a bending innovator, a fighter who could take down dozens of men without moving, and had forwarded the strongest and most successful military campaign the Earth Kingdom had seen in centuries. She was a soldier. If she just believed for ten fucking seconds that she still had the fighter the Great Uniter had been within herself, she could wipe the floor with this guy.

Because maybe, deep down, Kuvira was afraid that the Great Uniter meant more than just the horrors she'd caused, but also confidence and strength. That there were parts of that persona was worth embracing, parts that she needed.

Maybe it was time to take command again, wipe the floor with this idiot.

She just had convince the Catgator that he was the one who'd be cleaning up.

She leaned further over and slapped her hand over her mouth, faking a retch. The spectators erupted in oohs; over the clamor she heard the Catgator snickering, but it was one out of uncertainty. She gave a tap of her foot and she could 'see' the fighter as he summoned and kicked up what would eventually manifest into a rock column, aimed to knock her out of the ring.

She anchored her right foot to the ring and kick started the motion of her left foot with a push of earthbending. She spun a half circle, caught the energy from the still unformed column, and sent it right back at him in the completed three sixty turn. The Catgator didn't even have time to reel as a rock column smashed into him, sending him into the wall behind him. The force of the impact was so immense, he did not 'stick' to the wall but careened into the side of the ring, leaving two indents in wall and floor where he landed.

Kuvira unhitched herself from the earth and stared at the place he had been. The audience was eerily silent, and for the first time since the fight began, her heart was steady. She exhaled, her figure relaxing. She glanced down at the ground, picked up her glasses, and tucked them into her shirt before fixing her hair as best she could.

She was caught by surprise as the arena erupted in cheering and applause. She finally looked out to see Korra and the twins. Wing and Wei were hollering with elation like any mad sports fan would, but Korra was just smiling like a very, very proud mentor. It was infectious, and Kuvira found herself grinning as well.

Chu re-entered the ring, with the oversized belt and a sack of money in each hand.

"Congratulations!" he commended, as he tossed Kuvira her prizes. "Now, do you have a name?" He handed her the microphone.

Standing there, finally having _won something herself_ , she didn't feel a need to hide it. She had just done something that made all these people happy. She'd proven herself, mustered her courage considering her wracking self-doubts. Why keep her identity secret?

"Kuvira," she answered without hesitation.

Chu's eyes widened and his jaw slackened, like a comedy mover actor would show surprise. The arena was once more blanketed in silence.

The host's surprise morphed into the purest joy Kuvira had seen in years. "Shin, tell me you got a mover of that! Kuv—I just had a _celebrity_ in my ring!"

"No way! She's a military leader, a master bender! That's not an amateur!" someone shouted from the crowd.

Chu smirked, and Toph came down to the ring, turning her head in direction of the audience member who had spoke. "He could've had to fight the Avatar. Anyone is fair game." She stated. Kuvira felt like she'd entered a dream she would've had as a child. This kind of joy—seeing this legendary Earth Rumble host look at her like a starstruck fool, having _Toph Beifong_ defend her right to the win—didn't exist in the real world.

The crowd's eyes then fell on Korra, who forced a nervous smile and waved. Toph approached Kuvira, muttering to her, "You can thank me later."

Figured as much. Kuvira knew she couldn't stay angry at the old hag long.

But then she knitted her brows. _Thank her for what?_

The crowd roared once more, now chanting her name as she put the belt on. The twins and Korra rushed into the ring. Korra managed to steal a two second hug before the twins pulled them apart to throw Kuvira into an arm throne. She looked out at the hundreds of thousands of cheering faces. A flash of a memory resurfaced, about how as a child she'd vowed to one day win Earth Rumble. How mind boggling it was to think she'd actually done something her as a child would've been unabashedly proud of.

* * *

 Combining the prize money and the winnings from betting, Kuvira walked out of the arena with over forty thousand yuans in her pocket.

Not to mention forty thousand more people were beaming at her when she passed the entrance of the arena, asking for autographs and photos. A million questions, and so little time to answer: they asked her if she'd talked to Wu, told her how they hadn't lost faith in her after she was arrested, and threw out every compliment known to man. Yet, the most exhilarating part about it was that Kuvira felt amazing, having given all these people happiness. She hadn't felt this assured in years, and part of her would even call the long walk out of the arena otherworldly, like a surreal high.

The moment before they stepped out of the arena, a new sort of crowd amassed around them. A grubbier sort, probably from the rougher side of Gaoling that Kuvira hadn't seen yet. She gave as much attention to these people as she could, but she could tell that the twins weren't going to be as patient as she was.

"Kuvira, let's go! Grandma's getting annoyed!" Wei said.

She threw him a look of stern annoyance. This was her moment, and no one was going to rush her. "Go on without me. I'll catch up with you."

The twins glanced at Korra, who waved them off. Once they departed, Korra played her own hand at crazy public spectacles: she put her arm around Kuvira's waist.

"You sure?" she asked Korra.

"Completely."

Kuvira continued signing autographs and taking pictures, paranoid as she noted certain people staring a little longer with Korra touching her.

In the end, it didn't change much. Kuvira was still on cloud nine, giddy and self-assured in ways she could've sworn she'd never experienced before. This was the fame of the Great Uniter but with no obligations to hold back her emotion. It was as if she were infecting herself with more happiness the more she smiled for these strangers. Was this what it was like, then, to feel loved and confident enough to love herself? Why would she have denied herself this kind of pride when she united the Earth Kingdom? How could she have claimed to have lived a happy life without ever seeking out this feeling?

It was bliss. It was…it was looking to her left every so often and catching glimpses at the grin on Korra's face, the sparkle in her eyes. It was knowing that Korra was over the moon with happiness, and Kuvira had caused it. Korra was proud of her. Kuvira had done something to warrant the Avatar to wrap her arm around Kuvira and grin like a fool. Somehow, this picture of them together made sense. For the first time in her life, every interaction Kuvira had, whether it be small talk with fans or smiling for photos or squeezing Korra's side felt so pure, so real.

One month ago, she would've never believed this kind of recovery was possible.

Five years ago, it wouldn't have even crossed her most wishful of dreams. It was as if she'd transcended another dimension of emotion.

All she knew was that she had no intention of leaving it any time soon.

* * *

 Not a soul was awake when they returned home, and neither of them could complain. Kuvira took a quick shower, her thoughts still replaying the moments of the Earth Rumble match. She'd catch herself smiling a bit too wide while still in Korra's presence, blushing away whenever Korra'd offer her a knowing smirk or light tease in response. She was fairly certain that Korra understood the outpouring of emotion, but there was a part of her that still wanted to remain a bit controlled about it. No reason to seem like she'd regained the superego or anything. She hadn't won because she'd become the Great Uniter again, she'd won because she used the parts of her that had been useful and integrated them with the wisdom she'd gained after being arrested. A bit of her pride thrown into the humility. It'd be nice to show that, tone it down a bit.

"I couldn't help but notice how happy you seem," Korra commented as Kuvira was busy throwing on nightclothes. Already in her pajamas, Korra laid over the comforter on her side, in the perfect position to highlight her curves.

"I am! Something about winning that match…It seems so cliché, but I think I'm starting to face my fears about being maladjusted outside of prison. It feels… liberating."

"Were you hustling that guy the whole time, or did you catch a second wind?"

"More like first wind." Kuvira approached the edge of the bed, her hands fiddling behind her head as she parted her dark hair to start the process of braiding. "Yeah, I…I thought about what you'd been teaching me about using an opponent's energy against them. I wasn't entirely sure if that move would work."

"It was incredible to watch. You may not be the master earthbender, but you're incredibly good. It's exciting to see that skill while fighting again."

Her heart fluttered a bit. She couldn't help but feel her ego being stroked. "I feel like I can't be too optimistic about this."

Korra pushed herself up and half-crawled, half-approached her before sitting upright on her knees. She reached for her head, only to place her hands over Kuvira's busy ones, her silent request to stop. "Just because you're fairly confident again doesn't mean you don't have work to do. You're on the right track." Korra assured her, pausing as she stroked Kuvira's hair, undoing the half-made braid, before taking her hands into her own to beckon her to the mattress.

"You know what I saw out there, that I haven't seen in a while?"

Kuvira dropped onto the bed. "What?"

"I saw you command attention. I saw you project the image that you think you deserved to be seen and heard." Korra still held onto her hands, her thumbs rubbing small, soft circles. "It's always something I admired about you: how you had everything under control, and could convince people you were unshakable. Charisma, maybe."

Kuvira snorted, her eyes meeting Korra's. "You thought I was charismatic out there?"

"From the moment you said your name to that last autograph you signed, yes. I mean, look at all the inspired Earth Kingdom citizens. People haven't been this rallied behind someone in years." Korra took Kuvira's hand. "You feel good?"

"Radiant."

Korra inched closer. "You know what?"

"Hm?"

Her fingers snuck under the hem of Kuvira's nightwear top, teasing the skin of her back. She leaned in and whispered, "Right now, I'd want nothing more than to get the _self-assured_ woman next to me come a little closer tonight."

Kuvira fought back a grin. "You've waited long enough." Her own fingers tangled in Korra's hair as their lips met. It started tender, careful, as the heat rose between them. Kuvira became more fervent, maybe ashamedly greedy.

"You trust me, right?" Korra asked as she planted kisses along Kuvira's jawline, her hands still wandering around the small of her back and her waist.

"Yes," she whispered, between the soft, almost unconscious moans escaping her lips.

"Then, trust me, I can do so much better than just this."

Korra peeled off Kuvira's nightshirt and brought her arms up over her head. Kuvira's heart leapt in her chest as she heard the familiar chink of metal and felt her hands become bound to the bed frame. A shiver of pleasure shot through Kuvira as she thought about Korra using the technique she'd had taught her.

"I'll let you go, only if you go with the flow."

"Remember who the _master_ metalbender is here. You'll have to be damn good to keep me down."

Their lips met one last time before Korra's mouth trailed lower and lower, leaving burning kisses in her wake: under the chin, throat, collarbone, between her breasts, navel, and down a smooth path of nerve cells that Kuvira hadn't felt ignited in years.

It felt more like never. Because never, _never_ had she felt this way, this vulnerable, this open, this loved. Even with the bands, it didn't feel like Kuvira was being dominated; it felt playful. There were no roles to fill, no sequence of actions to follow. She'd never been one to be consciously aware of emotional connection during sex, but somehow, without saying a word, Kuvira could feel the love rushing between them like they were still passing the petroleum in that never-ending circle. For once in her life, the world did melt away. She lost sight of the dimness of the lights, of the feeling of the sheets tangled around and below her, of the fuzzy sense of relief as Korra removed the metal bands. Kuvira recalled a strong hand that kept her hips steady as she wriggled and sighed under the Avatar's touch.

She remembered slowly coming to afterward, with Korra by her side, one arm across her waist, the other hand parting her curtain of hair. Her immediate response was to embrace Korra, her hands mapped her skin. Kuvira kissed her fiercely, trying to pour all the gratitude and affection that words could not convey. She remembered hushing Korra as she moaned, just as Korra had done for her. They giggled, nipped, twined their hands. Kuvira could remember twinges of uncertainty, a few hesitant moves and a couple mumbled sentences about being 'rusty' and 'unsure,' but Korra took it in stride. In fewer words, Korra assured her that she'd be happy to guide Kuvira. The Avatar showed nothing but patience, a guiding hand, and affection as Kuvira shed the uncertainty and adapted. By the time they were done, Kuvira swore she'd been making love this way all her life, the burned memory of Korra buckling around her as tucked away evidence.

By that time their afterglows resided, they were too spent to exchange anything more than uttering, "I love you" and mean every little word. Kuvira spooned and cuddled up behind Korra, pressing bare skin to bare skin. She kissed the back of Korra's neck, unhurried, before sleep claimed her.

* * *

 "I know what you two did last night," was the first thing Toph Beifong growled as she entered the kitchen the next morning. "I'm going to die with that image as the grand exhibit of my nightmarish end."

Everyone looked to Toph, but Kuvira barely registered the twins.

"It was past midnight. What were you even doing?" Korra asked as the twins fumbled, blurting, "What?"

"Don't you think I had to deal with enough with Twinkletoes and the BoomerAangs?"

The twins stopped talking then, eyes glued to Kuvira and Korra.

"I would think at your age, you should've learned how to ignore by now," Korra replied. "Besides, didn't you live with all those guys for months?"

"All I'm saying is you should feel some guilt about disturbing an old woman's sleep, and learn some tact."

"You're not talking about us, are you…?" Wing said.

Toph side-eyed her grandsons. "No, I'm talking about those two rocking the house. What _you_ two were doing was just stupid."

Wing and Wei looked to Kuvira and Korra with the same expression of shock Chu had plastered on his face. "You two are together?"

"For how long?" Wei asked.

Korra and Kuvira exchanged a look. "Three years," Korra answered.

"Three years? You two were banging in prison and no one knew?"

"We weren't _banging._ We were developing an emotional connection beyond the greatest stretches of your comprehension," Kuvira said half-jokingly.

"No, but seriously, you two are together?" Wei asked. "Wait, since when do you even like girls?"

"Don't doubt it, Wei," Wing said. "She _did_ date Junior before."

Kuvira huffed. "Baatar wasn't feminine, he was _accommodating_."

Toph's face twisted into a grimace and muttered a string of curses under her breath. A knock from the front door echoed. "Kuvira, get the door." She ordered.

There was a brief stare down, but Kuvira gave up after a few seconds.

She opened the door to find a woman in a perfect suit, notebook in hand, standing outside. The woman smiled.

"My name's Jiao," the woman said.

"Kuvira," she replied automatically.

What time was it? She tried to judge the arch of the sun. Why was this woman at Toph's door when telephones had been in existence and fully functional?

"The town's abuzz about you—winning that match against a nearly universally despised fighter, then giving almost all your earnings to the local children's center. People are clambering to hear more about the work you've been doing since leaving prison."

_That_ was why.

"You want an interview."

Jiao smiled. "No, _you_ want an interview."

Kuvira raised a brow. "I do?"

She thought about all the press events she'd done while uniting the Earth Kingdom, and then about how Toph had specifically pushed _her_ out here to talk to the reporters. Kuvira wasn't one to fully trust the crazy old woman, but she hadn't been wrong yet.

Plus, an interview would be something a confident Kuvira would agree to. It seemed like a good time to share with the world.


	26. Bad Blood and Mad Love

Jiao led Kuvira to her office, a clean, floral-scented room located in the nicer side of Gaoling, with a view overlooking the town: a bubble, by all accounts. The setting would not have really chafed Kuvira's nerves if it did not belong to reporter, claiming to be the voice of and the courier of information for the people. Shouldn't she be able to meet the people of Gaoling?

Jiao offered her a spot on one of her stiff, geometric-styled chairs, and Kuvira adjusted into a comfortable position as best she could. She had explained to Korra that there was no need to accompany her into this interview, and for a moment, Kuvira wondered what Korra would do to pass the time. The two of them had spent so much time together lately that Kuvira figured there had to be some Avatar-only business that Korra had to attend to. It was…oddly comforting to think Korra was getting some room to breathe.

"Would you like to start with your time in prison or immediately after?" Jiao asked as she uncapped a pen, skimming over the formalities.

"It's your interview."

"Let me just get a few facts straight, then. You were originally imprisoned in an old underground bunker-type prison in the mountains around Republic City, and you spent about a month there, correct?"

"Correct." The memories from that nightmare seemed so far away…

"You were then transferred to Toh Penitentiary, into a solitary confinement unit?"

"Yes."

"Conditions included no human interaction, aside from the guards delivering food and supplies, as well as screened visitors for an allotted period of time? No outdoor privileges?"

"Everything you described is accurate."

Had it really only been about a month outside of prison? It felt much more distant, even if the effects were still lingering.

"And you were never given a trial?"

Kuvira froze, both shocked at the question itself and how she had never given that fact consideration in _years_. "No."

Jiao studied Kuvira for a moment, as if expecting Kuvira to comment on the it. She stayed silent.

"Tell me about your relationship with King Wu. A lot must've happened for you two to go from political rivals to him pardoning you of all your crimes."

Kuvira took a deep breath, channeling the tactics she'd learned while doing public relation exercises early on in the unification campaign. She just had to keep the image that she wanted to project in mind and make sure the pieces fit. "With Wu and I… we never outright hated each other. It was never about _him_ for me, it was about what he presented and represented. When I took power of the Earth Kingdom, my mind was still set on how the citizens still needed me, not that the Earth Kingdom didn't need him." Even if they didn't. "Honestly, once he was no longer in power, I wouldn't have given him any mind. He simply didn't pose a threat to my goals."

"What about the alleged kidnapping of King Wu?"

"That was orchestrated by a group of extremists supporters, not me." Kuvira paused. "At the time, actually, I was camping out in the Foggy Swamp with Baatar, working on developing the spirit vine weapons. I didn't even hear about the kidnapping attempt until it was mentioned in a fleeting conversation during a meeting I held with my higher ranking officers weeks later."

"What about you and King Wu after your arrest?"

"We didn't meet until I'd been in prison for some time. Avatar Korra was discussing with him as she formulated a new government model and she mentioned to him the work I had put into the proposal she'd given. I can't say for certain, but I don't believe Wu is the type of person who holds grudges, so he was more easily able to forgive what I did and let me try again."

"What sort of relationship do you two have now?"

"Nothing of note, really. I'm eternally grateful that he pardoned me, and if he needs any help implementing the new government system, I'm more than happy to help. Otherwise, we tread two different paths."

"Why wear the disguise up until last night?"

"Well, pragmatically, I wasn't emotionally prepared for the kind of attention I could amass and I was apprehensive about people's reactions to my return, especially in states where I was cruel. Otherwise, I didn't want it to seem like I was making a political comeback, because I'm not. I'm just trying to continue with the good intentions I had originally started with. I want to keep my country peaceful, happy, and united. Sometimes, small efforts are as effective as big political moves."

"Are you happy with the progress you and Avatar Korra have made?"

"Of course. Even one person having their life improved by something I did is worth it." She hesitated, rubbling her fingers momentarily. "I'm just worried that I can't really help if a big move isn't made to stabilize the nation. I'd be in the same situation as the Air Nation, where there's simply not enough aid to go around. You can't fix slit throats with bandages."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the government system the world leaders are trying to install in need of a central figure?"

"I don't know at this point. Wu and the parliament were the ones determining the best candidate."

"What would you do if they picked you?"

_You're a neutral figure now_ , she reminded herself.

"I'd be honored, but I'm sure King Wu will pick someone more qualified."

"What's in the future for you?"

Kuvira shrugged. "I'm not completely sure. I'll continue to accompany Korra as long as she's helping the Earth Kingdom, and if she has to go off elsewhere, I'd love to go with her. But, if it's too burdensome, I'd be happy to settle into a humble life—teach metalbending, adopt a few kids. Nothing huge, if that's not what's in the cards for me."

Jiao leaned back in her chair, pen and notepad still in hand. "You sound awfully humble."

"I'm not going to lie: it's an acquired trait from prison, but it's served me well so far."

"People have filled in the gaps, but from what I gather, Avatar Korra has been a huge part of you being where you are. Can you comment?"

Kuvira nodded. "She…She understands me on a level no one ever has done before, and the longer I've gotten to know her, I think I do the same for her. We just…work well together. We both want the same thing, and we both understand the complexities of the issues and the people involved. She's been there for me for so long that it's hard to remember what life was like before the, if you'll excuse my wording, injury and before I had Korra as a crutch. Recently, though, I've come to realize that Korra was never the crutch, but a physical therapist and a cheerleader of sorts. She's helped me heal, and for the first time in five years, maybe even my whole life, I feel confident enough to start walking normally again. At this point, if a political position is in my future, I feel ready to take it on, and it's so much in part because of Korra. I love her."

For the first time in the interview, Jiao gave a smile. "Your relationship with Avatar Korra sounds so incredible."

Kuvira cracked a smirk. "Just get across that I'm here for the starving children, not the romance."

"I'll tell my editor." Jiao snorted, closing her notebook for a moment. "This is off the record, but as you've obviously seen during your travels, the Earth Kingdom's been falling apart since you were imprisoned." Her voice took on an icy tone. "As much as the world leaders want to twist the truth, we were ready to accept the conditions of the Earth Empire. When you left, and we were stuck with that buffoon of a king and his ludicrous dreams, real people suffered and real people died. Those people are _still_ dying. Not only that, they're getting restless. You're the only person right now who gives the people hope. If you did want to make a political comeback, I would wager you'd have more enough support."

The admission took her by quiet surprise. Kuvira offered a thank you, and Jiao re-opened her notebook, continuing the interview.

* * *

The story was printed in Gaoling the next day, prints having circulated to Chin by that afternoon. Luckily, though, the people of Chin didn't seem to register the connection between the article and Kuvira in the flesh. A week passed before Korra and Kuvira returned to Ba Sing Se, and every day, newspapers with the reprinted article would surface. At first, towns seemed to be oblivious, or at least too shy to approach the subject, but by the time the two had made it back to Ba Sing Se, people had _definitely_ begun to notice her.

"So that's seven interview requests, one of which also wants a photoshoot for a cover story," Korra said as they lounged on the sofa, breaking in the not-so-lived-in living room, "and a solid five people stopping for autographs on a trip out to buy groceries." She turned to look at Kuvira. "You're famous."

"I don't know if I'd say famous so much as well known again."

"There's a difference?"

"I believe so." Kuvira paused. "What am I trying to gain by all this publicity, really?"

"Hundreds of thousands of people who love you."

"For what? Why are we pretending I'm not doing this for some fantasy where the people demand that I become prime minister?"

"Personally, I don't think it's a fantasy. The world leaders only didn't want you to become prime minister because they feared you'd be too polarizing, but if public opinion is overwhelmingly positive, they'd lose their justification," Korra remarked.

"I don't want this to become a conflict." Kuvira leaned her head back against the back sofa cushion. "I've had enough for one lifetime. I don't want my actions to be done for political gain, not even unconsciously."

"I don't know if we can affect unconscious political motivations, but you don't lose control of your motivation otherwise. Why do you agree to any of these interviews?"

This sweep in popularity was so swift, to the point where she did not have a moment to spare where she could register it, and give considerable thought on truly why she'd agreed to the first interview, or was considering accepting any of the others.

She thought about what Jiao had mentioned, about how Kuvira still gave people hope. Was that what she was trying to accomplish? To bring people hope again?

Was it really such a horrible thing for her to want to spread that relief, trust and healing to the entire nation? Why did it have to end in another slip into tyranny? Putting it lightly, she had started off on the wrong foot with her campaign, and along with several wrongs, but she had gleaned from her mistakes and knew how not to become drunk on power like previously. Maybe she was denying how much she wanted to become prime minister, denying how much she thought she deserved the position.

"To become a world leader again," Kuvira answered. "Is that wrong? Is that dishonoring all the people I know I hurt while the Great Uniter? Am I seeking redemption at the expense of all the victims of my crimes?"

"You're trying your best to be empathetic to the pain you've caused, and are showing the people that you've changed. If you can improve their lives, that's what matters in the end. This war began before you came to power, and I know the people are aware of that. The woman I'm looking at right now is even more qualified and worthy of becoming the head of the Earth Kingdom than you were when you first left prison."

"But interviews? A photoshoot? It seems a bit…tacky, self indulgent."

"If it's what the people want…"

"If I'm really doing this, though, we should talk to Wu, make sure he's doing his part with parliament."

"I'm on it. Meanwhile, you can pick an interview and do your thing."

Kuvira looked baffled. "You don't want to come?"

"The last time I was in a press conference, my approval ratings dropped below ten percent." Korra rolled her eyes.

"Well, I guess you're not going to be my PR manager."

"Definitely not a good idea." Korra grinned. "Besides, you've definitely got your poise back. Go flaunt it."

* * *

Kuvira had to admit it, the photoshoot and attached interview had been kind of fun. She had talked to the photographer beforehand, requesting that the shoot take a more professional angle than a mover star slant, and he'd actually listened: light makeup, little more than eyeliner and mascara; her hair put up into a calculatedly messy bun, wisps of hair falling against her face; a white blouse under a dark green blazer business skirt combo, with the first pair of high heels she'd worn in a decade; all set to poses that gave off poise and confidence, not sex appeal.

The interviewer asked her about her take on why the democracy failed, how the constitutional monarchy was going to work better, and what she thought were the best areas to focus on in the reconstruction of the Earth Kingdom. Additionally, they asked for her thoughts on the prison system, about the remaining influence of growing up in Zaofu, and what she plans she had for her future. Even if she had entered the photoshoot nervous, no one had triggered any flashbacks to her time as the Great Uniter or in prison or caused her to disassociate or have panic attacks. A hefty amount of controlled breathing, and she was good.

Good enough to walk home by herself in the midst her her celebrity craze. She almost welcomed anyone who may recognize her.

The only people who stopped her as she headed in back home were two girls, one about Kuvira's age, holding hands with a small child no older than six, in ratty clothing and hair choppily cut short. The little girl clutched a letter in her hands.

"Are you Kuvira?" the woman asked. Kuvira nodded. "I'm the director for the Kuei Orphanage, and I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your generous donation to the kids."

Memory flushed back; a worker from the orphanage had still been wearing his uniform when he spoke with her outside the arena in Gaoling, and she had made a flash decision to donate all her winnings to his workplace.

Kuvira smiled. "Pleasure's mine. No better cause than helping children, building the future."

"Really, we're all so grateful. These children mean the world to me. I just wish more people would see what I see." The director looked to the little girl. "Do you want to say hi, Anaya?"

The little girl hid behind the woman, mumbling, "Hi."

Kuvira knelt down to the girl's level. "Your name's Anaya?" The girl nodded. "That's a pretty name. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Anaya still refused to budge. The woman coaxed her out into the open and looked down to her. "Honey, give her the letter you wrote." The woman flicked her attention back to Kuvira. "She's a huge fan of yours, and we were in the area when people started buzzing about you. She just had to try to find you. I don't know why she's being so shy."

"It's okay." She'd actually dealt with a fair amount of shy children over the years. "I'm flattered that you'd write me a letter. No one's done that for me before." Anaya handed Kuvira the letter. "Should I read it now or later?"

"Later. It's a surprise," Anaya said, softly.

Kuvira smiled. "Sounds like a plan. Do you want something to take with you? An autograph, anything like that?"

"No." She paused, hesitating. "Maybe a hug…"

"They doused me in perfume at my photoshoot, but if you don't mind that…"

The little girl still nodded, and Kuvira gently pulled her into a hug. She expected a momentary hug where the two participants barely touched each other, but this child sunk into Kuvira like they'd known each other for years. Kuvira swore she even heard Anaya sigh in the embrace, as if she had craved for that human touch. That, and Kuvira could feel the boney figure beneath the too-big clothes and smell how little this child got to bathe.

"Also, do you have a pen?" The director did. "Here's my address," she wrote down hers and Korra's Ba Sing Se address, and handed the paper to Anaya. "I'm going to write you back a letter, and if you want, we can keep exchanging them. Okay?"

Anaya smiled, and the woman thanked Kuvira with enough earnestness that convinced her that the director had actually spent the money for the children's sakes.

Kuvira opened the letter as she sat on the train ride back to the Upper Ring. It contained the neatly scrawled characters: _Thanks for helping the Earth Kingdom. You're my hero._ Along with a picture of…her holding hands with the Great Uniter.

Kuvira's stomach knotted, and she wasn't even sure she could rationalize why. Something about this kid, probably no older than five, treating a tyrannical dictator as a playmate or idol…

She'd have to ask Korra once she got home.

Once the train stopped, she tucked the letter away and painted a mental map for the quickest route back to the house — not before knocking right into a teenage boy making his way towards the trains, causing them both to drop what they had been holding. The teenager immediately bent down and picked up both of their displaced items, handing Kuvira her letter.

"Sorry about that, ma'am," he sputtered, before looking up. When he did make eye contact with Kuvira, his face formed a mask of excitement. "You're Kuvira, aren't you? Spirits, I'm so sorry—wait, can I—" He pulled a piece of paper out of the notebook he'd been holding, and pulled a pen out of his shirt pocket. "Please?"

With the shock of having collided with someone worn off, she returned the smile and wrote the autograph, adding, "Don't worry about it."

The young man beamed. "Thank you!" He headed back in the direction he was going, calling out a, "Have a good day, Kuvira!" as he went.

Having her presence now announced to nearby bystanders, Kuvira expected a mobbing, but only three more people, all young, approached her. They asked for autographs. She gave them what they wanted with a smile and small talk. They asked if they could bring their two other friends over to meet her; they were all such big fans. She agreed, so long as they walked with her and didn't attract more people.

The two other kids brought two more. They wanted a photo; their handshakes were tight. Kuvira's smile faltered. They ran off to bring another three people. Two more approached. The crowd began to grow.

Someone started talking to her, something about the democracy. The more he spoke, the less Kuvira believed he was speaking their language. She tried to ask him to repeat what he said, tell him to stop, but it was if she'd forgotten the entire language as well. She could hear the blood rush in her ears, her heart hammering away for no logical rhyme or reason.

She backed out of the crowd, stammered an excuse for her early departure before she turned and made a beeline toward the exit, running as fast as she could. She only managed to stop long enough to shove the key into hers and Korra's front door, shove it open, slam it shut and lock it, and tearing off her heels. She held her breath until she stumbled into the nearest closet, turned on the muted light inside, and shut herself in.

Forcing a sigh, she backed into the nearest wall, tucked her legs into her chest, and waited for the world to rearrange back into order. She focused on her breathing, just like Korra had taught her so many years ago.

* * *

"Hey."

Kuvira glanced up to see Korra nudging the closet door open, and sidled in. A few long moments of silence passed before one of them spoke.

"It's not even that it's not gone. It just—I can't predict, control it." Kuvira uncurled from her former balled up position, casually motioning to the closet space, "I can't live like this. I look like a lunatic."

Korra knelt down before her. "Who cares what you look like? I'm the only person who's seeing you like this. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You're coping."

"This isn't coping. This is—this is a compulsion, taking comfort in what caused me so much trauma for years. No sane person does that."

"Do you want to go to therapy? You have every right to do so."

She knew it shouldn't, but the word therapy left a bitter taste in the back of her throat. "I don't think so, and would prefer not to."

"What happened?" Korra sat down next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, a light touch of reassurance.

"I was just returning from the photoshoot and I got mobbed. They didn't all approach me at once, but… I don't know. I was just standing there and suddenly I couldn't understand what the people were saying to me, and I couldn't find a single word to say. It was frightening, and I just…this was the only thing I could think of to calm myself down."

"So you didn't break down in front of all those people?"

"No… I just dashed out. I suppose not."

"Sounds like you were coping really well. That's all dealing with these traumas is, really: being able to function with people long enough to deal with your feelings as you see fit. If you think sitting in this closet helped you, then that's fine. It seems like a sort of meditation." Korra tilted her head, appearing to be musing on a thought. "Were you meditating, or thinking about how awful your perceived life is?"

Kuvira's eyes narrowed, trying to recall the last several minutes. "I wasn't thinking."

"Then there you go." Korra leaned in and kissed Kuvira's forehead. "Do you want to get out of here, or do you want to stay a while longer?"

Kuvira exhaled. "I think I'm good to go." Korra helped Kuvira to her feet before pushing open the closet door and making their way to the living room.

"So, how'd Avatar business go?" Kuvira inquired, wishing to change the subject.

"Great. Wu's going to pencil us in for tomorrow. Guess what else?"

"What?"

"Su was there. She wanted me to tell you that you're un-banished from Zaofu."

What an underwhelming end to that conflict. It made the coupling of the icy shot of nerves in her gut and the weightless feeling of joy seem underserved. "Do you know if she's still in Ba Sing Se?" Kuvira interjected, hope in her voice.

"You want to see her?"

"At the least, I want to tell her that I'd like to visit soon."

"Seemed like an invitation to me," Korra chirped.

* * *

Kuvira awoke in the middle of night, a normal occurrence at that point. She checked the clock on the wall, exhaled, and shifted positions. No burdening thoughts were on her mind, so hopefully she could fall back asleep quickly. She twined an arm onto one of Korra's outstretched arms and closed her eyes.

Moments later, Korra thrashed her arm so hard that she pulled Kuvira onto the other side of her. Wide awake, she found Korra shifting, mumbling incoherently.

"Korra," she said, shaking the Avatar. No response. "Korra. Korra!"

Korra's eyelids flew open and she shot up into a sitting position, chest heaving. When Korra looked over at Kuvira, her hair tousled and her eyes trying to regain focus, she took her hand, gently squeezing it.

"Are you okay?" Kuvira squeezed back in response, running her thumb over Korra's knuckles.

"Yeah. It happens every once in a while. Nothing can be patched up perfectly, I guess." Korra confessed as she slowly laid back down. "You don't have to wake me up next time."

Kuvira rearranged herself, slipping an arm around Korra's shoulders to pull her closer "I was sleeping on your other side before you decided to toss me. You needed to be woken up."

Something in Korra's face tightened. "Sorry." She apologized sheepishly, turning away.

"Don't be." She tried to get a better angle of her face. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah."

Kuvira didn't push it, and leaned back into the pillows. It would be some time before Korra turned to nestle into her, arms loosely circling around her waist. Kuvira leaned to kiss the crown of her head before drifting asleep.

At least she had solace in knowing she wasn't the only one coping.

* * *

With plans to meet Korra and Wu at seven that evening, Kuvira boarded a bullet train to Zaofu, carrying nothing but a black notebook in her hands. Even with the knowledge Su was welcoming her back to her childhood home with open arms, Kuvira was all but sick with nerves. Would Su go back on her word the moment she arrived? Did Baatar know about Kuvira's relationship with Korra, and would he even talk to her, having that knowledge? What would it be like to see Baatar Sr., Huan, and anyone left in Zaofu? Would Opal allow her even a second to talk?

She was taken aback by how silently she was able to slip through the main district to Su's estate. It almost felt near-deserted, judging by the way so few people were acknowledging her. Was it some side effect of a growing ego or was she crazy? She was not certain, but she was at least aware that the emotions coursing through her—shame, embarrassment, awe, contentment—were making thinking difficult.

Still a bit unsure about her position, once inside the Beifong household, Kuvira headed straight to Baatar's quarters, to the one person she absolutely knew had forgiven her. He sat in the office he'd had built off his bedroom some years before they left Zaofu, eyes fixated on papers. He'd grown his hair out to the same length on the sides as on top, but seemed to generally be maintaining the beard she'd convinced him to grow during the Earth Empire days, save a day's worth of stubble.

"If this represents your prison sentence, I'm going to kick your over-coddled ass right here, right now," Kuvira teased, as she leaned against the doorframe.

Baatar looked up, eyes widening. "Kuvira?" he breathed.

She broke out a smile. "Hey, Baatar."

He half stumbled out of his chair and ran towards her before gathering her into an tight embrace, holding her close. "I'm so happy to see you're okay! What they put you through was barbaric."

"I'm okay. Still adjusting, but okay." She answered into his shoulder. "Happy, even."

He pulled away. "I'm glad to hear it. What've you been doing since your pardoning and release?"

"Mostly charity work around the Earth Kingdom. A tamer version of what we were doing with the Earth Empire. What about you? Are you still on house arrest?"

He shook his head. "I received parole earlier this year, but I haven't found reason to leave Zaofu permanently. Part of the family's healing involved Father giving my ideas more consideration and I've actually been pretty busy working on projects." Baatar glanced over his shoulder to the half-organized, half-document-strewn desk.

Kuvira smiled. "Living your dream."

There was a long bout of silence, one long enough for Kuvira's smile to falter.

"Almost."

"Baatar…"

"I'm not angry, but, is what the twins told me true?"

"Yes."

Baatar sighed, the tiniest of smiles wavering on his lips. "Should I have seen this coming?"

"Korra's the first girl I've been interested in. No matter what your brothers say, you had nothing to do with it."

"More of Masaru taking you to those burlesque clubs?"

Kuvira snorted and looked away, hoping she wasn't blushing. "I went to those to watch the dancing, Baatar."

"Just know it didn't come out of nowhere." He hesitated. "Do you love her?"

"Yes."

It got her heart fluttering just talking about Korra.

"And she treats you well?"

"Incredibly."

His eyes flitted away from hers as he spoke."It's all I could ask for you, I suppose."

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"Not yet."

Kuvira shifted her weight to the other foot. "So, I don't think a rousing speech is an adequate apology for what I did to this place."

He returned to looking her in the eye. "Community service seems to have worked for you. Since that has been such a personal strength recently, the domes were damaged in a storm, and Mother's sending metalbenders out to fix them. You should try lending a hand."

"Nothing sounds better than being pushed off the top of a dome today," she sighed, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well, it's that or help Huan with his massive artistic renovations."

"I'll risk the fall," she retorted. Nostalgia of her former life was beginning to trickle back. "Is Opal around?"

"Are you _actually_ attempting to get thrown off the top of the domes?"

Kuvira frowned. "She can hold a grudge for a while, can't she?"

"It seems to be a trait that runs among the women." His eyes narrowed, giving her a curious look. "What do you want with her?"

"I want to talk, to find out why she hates me so much."

Baatar opened his mouth to start, before she raised a finger to hush him. "I mean beyond the obvious." She paused. "Do me a favor: I'm going to go ask Su about helping with the domes. If you see Opal, could you tell her that I'd like to talk to her, if she feels up to it?"

"Sure. Good luck."

"Thanks." She said as she turned to leave, then stopped mid-stride. "Hey, I'm here until the evening if you want to talk over tea."

"Sounds like a plan. You'll need to unwind after the whipping you're going to get on the domes," he called.

Kuvira's laugh echoed loudly in the corridors as she departed.

 

Kuvira found Su in the backyard among the meteorites she must have managed to salvage from the Colossus wreckage.

"Hey, Su, Baatar mentioned you needing some help fixing up the domes," she said, more gingerly than she intended.

Su let the meteorite fall into her palm and turned to her. "A bolt of lightening from that storm twisted the east-most shield out of place, and we can't bend it back." Her features brightened considerably. "Lucky the kid who can bend precious metals is here."

Was Su really receiving her this warmly? Should she have expected this kind of casual, warm response all along, or was Su doing a complete 180?

"I'm guessing you're not going to fill it up with gold?"

"Titanium was the best we could come up with. If you could bend it on, I'd appreciate it. Come on, I'll get you the raw material." They began a walk toward the storage unit closest to the damaged dome. "What did you do in prison?"

Kuvira raised a brow, quietly floored Su even cared. "Come again?"

"Solitary. What do you do for all that time alone? How are you as sane as you are?"

She shrugged. "I read a lot." Kuvira chuckled. "You know what I did do, that even Korra doesn't know about?"

"What?" Su's interest piqued suddenly.

"I spent years going through those history books recording the inbreeding of the royal families from the Northern Water Tribe, Earth Kingdom, and Fire Nation as far back as the established dynasties."

Su smiled wryly, the first genuine smile Kuvira swore she'd seen on her adoptive mother's face in years. "You didn't."

"It's legitimate. All the instances were either recorded in old history books or were based off evidence—inherited traits and such."

"Fire Nation had it the worst?"

"Water Tribe. Smaller population. All three of them went through periods of pure bloodline paranoia. It just seems the Earth Kingdom's lineage can see the results most prominently today."

Su laughed. "You're required to bring a copy of this, the next time I see you,."

"Just don't tell anyone I wrote it."

"Scared the royals will put your head on the chopping block?"

"No. In fact, I could show Wu that book tonight and he'd start crying. I just don't want Korra to think I'm a conspiracy theorist until I can confirm that her cousins are going to marry each other."

"If she can't see that one coming, it's not your fault."

"Is there a nation that still beheads? Isn't that the execution of choice in the Avatar Yangchen era?"

"Baatar J—Baatar said you guys beheaded." Su countered as she opened the storage unit.

Kuvira's face twisted into a miffed look. "Give me a literally cleaner method."

"Hanging."

She stopped in her tracks. "Did Baatar mention that we only executed four people, three assassins and one rogue general who was trying to ethnically cleanse under my banner?"

"Come on, Kuvira!" Su playfully patted her shoulder. "I need this done by tonight."

"Give me the blueprints and I'll have it done within the hour."

Su handed her a set of blue prints from a locked box in the storage unit and a radio and left her with the damaged dome shield before her, collapsed on the ground. (So much for having to be on the dome while it was erect.) She picked up a slab of titanium and went to work.

This was actually going much better than she expected.

* * *

Fixing the piece of the dome wasn't the hard part. As it turned out, synching the dome back up and making sure the titanium covered every inch was the most aggravating part. Members of the Metal Clan had gathered while Kuvira worked, a vast majority staying silent, but one man explained that they had constructed the domes again for security reasons, not as a means to isolate. Kuvira couldn't say she blamed them, even if it went against what she'd tried to teach Zaofu when she took over. The fact was Zaofu was going to be a part of the new Earth Kingdom and Su had already abandoned the city-state mindset warmed her somewhat, knowing she could quietly bask in that one small victory, albeit the domes still left a bitter taste in her mouth. Maybe it was just being so close to her old life.

Kuvira packed herself up with titanium slabs and attached a metal spool to her hip, left to watch the dome pull itself together, feeling more like a security guard than she thought she'd ever experience again. She scaled the curve of the dome, savoring the adrenaline rush. Once on top, she formed herself a pair of titanium slippers to magnetize to the dome. She'd done a decent job the first time around, but had not gone over her work with a fine-toothed comb: she had missed a tiny crack in the shield that needed patching.

"What are you doing?" a familiar voice interrupted.

Kuvira stopped what she was doing to face Opal. True to her Air Nation customs, she wore the brightly-colored wing suit, hair a little longer, face a little less round, and malice still burning in those once innocent eyes. She had a cross body bag attached to her, large slabs of titanium poking out.

"Your mom needed a metalbender who could bend titanium," Kuvira explained.

"Why wouldn't intruders be able to bend it away if you're bending it there?"

"You'll never find a metalbender better than me who isn't your ninety-something year old grandmother, if that. Bending a wide array of metals is rare." Kuvira quickly repaired the hole and turned to Opal. "Could we talk?"

"I only came here because they thought you needed more material," she spat, dropping several 2x4 slabs of titanium , most of them clanking down the incline and skittering off the dome. _A bit childish, aren't we?_ Kuvira thought.

"Thanks. But really, Opal, I need to talk to you."

She crossed her arms, turning away. "About what?"

"Opal, please. I want to understand."

"Just a heads up: you went crazy in prison."

Kuvira approached, placing a hand on Opal's shoulder. "Opal, I know I hurt you. I want to know _why_."

She shook Kuvira's hand free, still not facing her. "You already know why."

"I don't. When I thought about how you reacted to my departure, I guessed right that you were enraged from the moment I left, like Su. Yet, you had no reason to do so. I know Baatar talked to you for years about how much he wanted to spread his own wings, and you encouraged that. I know you didn't think I brainwashed Baatar. So what was it about me leaving that got to you? I understand why you came to hate me after that, but why right then? What ignited in you that made you so willing to kill me, still look at me like a piece of trash this many years later."

"Like I said, you're crazy if you think I'm going to discuss this now."

Her words were still laced in venom, but Opal's posture had relaxed a bit.

Kuvira carefully took a seat on the dome. "Does it feel good to hold a grudge for this long? I imagine it's a big weight."

"You're the one who put it there."

"And now I'm trying to help you remove it."

"Why? Did someone put you up to this? Baatar? Korra? Is someone going to take a picture of this, add it as fodder for your crazy political campaign to have the Earth Kingdom in your clutches again? You might have everyone fooled, but I can see right through you. I've always seen right through you, from the moment people started being sent to the prison camps."

Kuvira watched Opal's hands, how she rubbed an arm on and off. "I suppose you do see right through me. But, if that were the case, I figured you'd be seeing the foster child your mom took in who loved and protected you like a sister."

"You were never—" Opal's tirade stopped, choking on the words and emotional turmoil that were beginning to quake her frame.

Kuvira watched her struggle as a memory flickered in her mind's eye: of Opal creeping into her room on rough, stormy nights, pleading to sleep with her. She recalled Opal holding her to a promise to not to tell her anyone about it, because she wanted to be as brave as her bender brothers.

"—You _were_ a sister," Opal whispered, finally finding her voice again before she sat down. "When Mom told us that you were going to stay, it was the happiest day of my life. You were so scared and depressed, and I made it my goal for weeks to cheer you up. You tried to be nice to me, accept all my dumb little gestures, and I remember almost giving up, but you seemed to have transformed after a month with us. I know now you must've just been putting on a face for my sake, but… I loved you for it. You paid attention to me, protected me against the twins, and would do whatever earth or metalbending trick I wanted to see time and time again. When Mom or Dad was busy, you'd read me bedtime stories or stay with me when I had nightmares. You never asked for anything, just listened to me and played with me and supported me no matter what I did.

"I understood why you moved out to join the guard, but it hurt so much to see you leave us. When you moved out, I remember sitting up for nights wondering what I did wrong, and it began to dawn on me that truly, you had never been treated like a member of the family. All my life, I'd considered you a sister, but it began to dawn on me that you might not have felt the same. That you might not be as committed to the family as I thought. I started thinking that what if you didn't consider us your family, and that you'd leave us forever trying to find a real family.

"I thought about it for years. I would watch you whenever we hung out, see how you interacted with the family, as if I could tell how you felt about the family through that. And, every day, every time I'd see you laugh or speak to the guard or the dance trope, all I saw was you trying to cobble together a new family. But, you know what, that wasn't that bad. Even if you found a niche with them, you'd still be near me. I could still see you enough, stay connected with you. It hurt to see you pulling apart, but I wasn't worried.

"Then, you left Zaofu. You left me a note. Do you remember?"

"I do."

"You were my sister, and all I got before you decided to up and leave was a note. So yeah, I was mad. I was mad that you didn't love us—love me—enough to stay. I was mad that for all the love I gave you, for all the weight and effort I put into our relationship, you could just cast me aside like I meant nothing."

"You feel like I abandoned you."

Opal whipped around, tears in her eyes. "How could you do that to me? How could you assume you didn't mean anything to me?"

_"I was…so oblivious that I thought you weren't affected by your abandonment. I thought that you saw me as a mentor, not as a mother, and that I was safe to do the same."_

_"How could you think a child would view the woman housing, feeding, clothing, and nurturing her as anything other than a mother?"_

_"…I just can't believe that through everything that happened between us, you still viewed me as a mother."_

_"Who else would it have been?"_

_"You and Su are so alike_."

She'd heard it a million times, and thought she understood it, but realized she had not. Not until it dawned on her that moment, watching Opal scowling, tears running down her face.

"I fulfilled your deepest fear. That you wouldn't be good enough for me," Kuvira said, voice soft, working around the lump in her throat.

"How could you think that?"

Because she had always felt like such an outsider in the Beifong family, that there was no reason that Opal would have had to love her like a sibling.

"Because I was wired to believe I was the pitied foster child."

Opal shook her head. "How could you have not seen through that? I _loved_ you. All of us _loved_ you."

"And I love you too." Kuvira's voice remained steady, but was at a loss of what else to say. "I'm sorry, Opal."

Opal took a deep, shuddering breath, and looked on at Kuvira. For a long time, the two of them just sat there, staring at each other, desperately trying to communicate just with their gazes. Ultimately, one wasn't enough—not one moment of silence, not one conversation. Opal opened up her little airbending wings and dropped off the dome incline - before gliding off. Kuvira returned to her task, smoothened out the metal, returned to lower ground using the the metal spool. The lump in her throat only grew, burning with each unconscious swallow.

* * *

Kuvira returned to Ba Sing Se right on time, walking through the front door with only a few minutes to spare, drained physically and emotionally. She did a mental run-down of a few conversation starters she hoped to use with Korra once they were done meeting with Wu, only to find that Wu wasn't there, but Korra and her friend Mako were. Caught in mid-conversation, Korra didn't budge from her spot in the living room, but her face lit up.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," Kuvira replied, dumping herself unceremoniously onto a free couch. "Unexpected visitors?"

"Mako still works for Wu, and we were just catching up." Korra motioned to Kuvira. "This is Kuvira."

Mako shook his head. "I know that much." His eyes flitted to Kuvira. "You look exhausted."

"Did the Beifongs throw you off a roof?" Korra chimed in.

"No, just a lot of dealing with Opal. I got her to tell me what was really going on between us, but once she got it out, she didn't want to facilitate reconciliation. I know I should expect it, but it still hurts."

"I wouldn't fret — Look how long it took Lin and Su to work things out, and they'd give their lives for each other now. You took a step in the right direction, and that's all that matters." She shifted in her seat. "We can talk more once everyone leaves."

"Where's Wu?"

"He said you were taking too long and said he'd be back at seven after 'freshening up.' I think he was making a point about punctuality, but I told him you'd be back at seven," Korra said, exchanging a look with Mako.

"You still work for him?" Kuvira asked.

Mako pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was let off for about a month before he demanded me back into service with the re-collapse of the Earth Kingdom. I'm really, _really_ hoping he'll let me go once you stabilize everything again."

Korra punched his shoulder teasingly. "You started working for him again because you were worried about him." She turned to Kuvira. "Did you have dinner in Zaofu?"

"No."

"Wanna go out with Mako and I?"

"Sure."

"Great," Korra glanced at the clock on the wall. "Where's—"

Right on schedule, Wu slid down the railing from the first to second floor. "Perfect, she's here!" he announced boisterously.

"She got here six minutes ago," Korra replied.

Wu took a seat. "So, here's the deal: I think you're totally ready for the people to embrace you, but I still want to do a little something to push it along."

"Please don't do anything over the top," Kuvira sighed.

"Nope. I just want to give you the Kyoshi Medal of Freedom."

Kuvira gave him a puzzled look. "And why would I want to remind people about your coronation?"

"Look," he started, gesticulating wildly, "there aren't any other medals and it's the symbolism that counts. It'll be a small ceremony, but to those that matter, it'll mean something. You'll have the people's love, parliament's approval, and my approval. It wouldn't matter what the world leaders think, but I'm sure they'll be forced to approve afterwards."

Kuvira traded glances with Korra. "Good publicity?"

Korra smiled sheepishly. "I wasn't at the coronation…"

Eyes fell on Mako. "I mean, it's kind of awkward…"

"It's the kingdom's highest honor, Mako," Wu said.

"Isn't the medal broken, anyway?" Mako reminded him.

Wu pulled the crumpled ball of gold out of his pant pocket and tossed it to Kuvira. "Apparently, you're the only gold bender in the kingdom."

Kuvira flattened out the scrunched medal and fixed the kinks before casually throwing it back to Wu, who shot out his hands palms forward like the uncoordinated, slow-reflexed man child he was. Korra picked it back up and examined it. "Looks good to me."

"Symbolism!" Wu cheered, hopping onto his feet. "Come on, Mako. I need to get back to the palace if you're getting the night off."

Mako stood up and followed Wu out, the Kyoshi medal hanging off Mako's fingertips.

"I should've bent it into a riding crop," Kuvira commented snidely.

Korra laughed. "Now _that's_ symbolism!"

 


	27. The Song of His Royal Lineage

Kuvira tried to distract herself from the discomfort of Wu’s absurd ceremony plan, but there was was very little else that could keep her mind off it. On top of that, Wu gave her three days’ notice for the ceremony itself, and seemingly with the blink of an eye, she and the world leaders were back in the same city. 

“Deep breaths, and it’ll be over in a second,” Korra consoled as the two of them fancied up for the ceremony in their master bathroom, the countertop covered in beauty tools and products.

Wu had described it as “fancy-casual,” leaving the two of them to interpret it as liberally as they needed. Korra took the more “casual” route, donning a dark blue tunic and pants, accented with a nicer pair of boots, a light blue waist sash, and spent a bit more time on her hair while Kuvira pulled out the alternate outfit from her photoshoot, the same type of skirt, blouse, and blazer but in a lighter shade of green. 

“I’m not so much nervous as dreading Wu destroying the patronage and reputation I’ve put together for one of his stunts,” Kuvira replied as she pinned the redesigned Earth Kingdom emblem—the traditional encircled square outlined in white gold against a green backdrop—onto her jacket.

“He seems sincere about the humble occasion part, and it reflects on him, not you.” Korra remarked, watching her smooth out her blazer from the side.

Kuvira raised a brow, still fixed on the mirror. “You believe that for a second?”

“You are just a cog in the machine now. Less blame.”

Kuvira made eye contact with Korra, who flashed a grin. “Speaking of cogs, parliament’s going to be there too. You excited to meet them?”

Kuvira rolled on her eyeliner. “It’ll certainly make everything official.”

“How fast of a turn around is Wu hoping for?”

“He told me a week from today. I’m assuming he wants to grovel at the world leaders’ feet tomorrow.”

“He is aware he can just appoint you, right?”

“Wu might have lead a successful evacuation, but it certainly hasn’t grown him any balls.”

“Careful Kuvira, your true contempt is showing.” She heard Korra chuckle.

“This is his last day pretending to be useful. After that, it’s off to fancy robes, tabloid cover stories of his offspring, and smiling for photos with everyday children. His true calling.” She swiped on a bit of lip gloss and turned to Korra. “What do you think? Too delicate?”

The Avatar couldn’t hide her blush. “No, you look amazing.” She pursed her lips. “Although, if you want to give off a little bit of badassery, throw in all your earrings and wear a bit of metal. Remind people about what you are.”

Kuvira gave her a sardonic look, sneaking an arm behind Korra’s back.“Interesting relative pronoun choice, Fully Realized Avatar.”

“My what?”

“You said ‘what,’ not ‘who.’”

Korra shrugged. “Interpret as you want.”

Kuvira pulled her in for a quick kiss. “When do I get to shower you in compliments and awe for your accomplishments?”

“Once your job becomes boring.”

“Are we going to become those aging women who spring into action at the drop of a hat?”

“That’s naturally part of my job description, but I’ll keep you on my battle flanks with Mako, Bolin, and Asami.” Korra joked, languidly sliding her hands around Kuvira as she dipped to kiss her. They broke, and Kuvira leaned in to plant another on Korra’s temple.

“I love you, Korra,” she murmured.

“I love you too.”

* * *

It took five seconds for Kuvira to be convinced that Wu was, without a doubt, an ornately adorned pinhead, mind and body.

“Why is this ceremony on top of a building again?” Korra asked Kuvira as they watched workers for the Earth King polish the decorations set along the flat top of a piece of the parliament building.

It was a rather beautiful design, albeit unusual. Standing eight stories, the classic swooping roofs were nowhere to be seen, the only decorations a series of spires coming out of the upper levels’ walls, with ornate pieces of gold-painted platinum (“So no hoodlums can bend them,” Wu claimed) carved into badger moles, bears, swords, and abstract symbols that Wu actually claimed were part of ancient monarchy seals. There was another ten minutes’ worth of information, and Kuvira could admit that Wu had extensive knowledge of architectural decor, but she tuned out quickly. 

“You _could_ throw me back into the Earth Rumble ring and not pommel me as hard as this ceremony is going to,” Kuvira mumbled under her breath.

“I mean, it’s…weird, and tacky, but to say it will ‘pommel’ you is pushing it.” Korra looked on at the growing crowd of world leaders, with the chairs arranged with parliament and Earth Kingdom dignitaries on one side and the world leaders on the other, and the microphone inching the speakers a bit close to the roof’s edge. “Besides, it’ll be quick. People might not even notice.”

“As long as he doesn’t play the song of his lineage and have it echo out through the Upper Ring.”

“They have those?”

“Yes.” Kuvira glanced at Wu. “The song is actually rather beautiful. Unfortunately, it’s famous for being the anthem of death when peasants massacred the royal loyalists during the rule of a particular ancestor of his.”

“Did you have this arsenal of horror stories before prison, or…?”

Kuvira shot Korra a glare and focused on looking like an exemplary person for the world leaders, recalling how Korra had half-jokingly told her to be conscious of her inherently ‘angry’ resting face. Wu had handed them a mercifully short program upon entering, followed by a long session of greeting the world leaders and smiling for the several dozens members of parliament that decided to drag themselves to Wu’s little ceremony.

“I’d like to thank the world leaders and members of the first parliament of the new Earth Kingdom for taking the time out of their busy schedules to help honor the woman who’s ushered us into a new era of peace…” Wu began.

Kuvira glanced across to Korra; she already detested Wu’s rhetoric, and how he never acknowledged Korra’s role in forming the constitutional monarchy. She scanned upon the world leaders’ faces as Wu prattled on. Tonraq had his gaze on Wu, but no particular light of interest in his eyes, with Tenzin sharing the same expression. Desna and Eska couldn’t care less, and didn’t attempt to hide it. Raiko had his arms crossed, eyes on the Earth King, or perhaps something right past him. Fire Lord Izumi appeared polite and attentive, but it very well could be the poise of royalty. Lord Zuko held a similar posture as his daughter, but he offered Kuvira a smile when they made eye contact. 

A sudden breeze tickled her inner thigh, and she looked up to see Korra, who motioned her head towards Wu. Kuvira’s heart leapt into her throat, and she looked to the Earth King fully convinced she had missed her cue to receive the award.

“Without further ado, Kuvira, please come forward to receive the Kyoshi Medal of Freedom for your service to your nation,” Wu announced enthusiastically. 

As she rose from the audience to approach, Kuvira had to admit, the smile on Wu’s face was that of a child’s: excited, innocent, and pure. He was in no way fit to rule, but they could’ve been stuck with much worse monarchs. 

An attendant donning a slightly less decorated version of Mako’s bodyguard uniform handed Wu the metal, his head bowed. As he slipped over her head, Kuvira mused on how the medal was heavier than she remembered, wondering if it had to do with her shoulders and back having weakened from five years not carrying the weight of the Earth Empire uniform. 

She bowed her head to Wu and said, “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

A round of applause sounded as Kuvira straightened up and faced the audience. She couldn’t quite place any hard evidence behind it, but something told her that the world leaders acquiesced her new-found position as prime minister. This ceremony had been so docile: that’s what they wanted, wasn’t it? Someone who didn’t bring out the extremes in people? Surely one of them could see the quelled fire in her eyes, in her posture, in her words, but no one could articulate how ridiculous Kuvira felt receiving this medal. 

Her gaze flickered back to Wu, who wore his cocksure smile as he bridged half the distance between the two of them to give her a few pats on the shoulder, in a quasi-political move. Kuvira managed to not flinch from the touch, focusing instead as the Kuei Dynasty’s song that had played in her mind.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the attendant who presented the medal inch closer to Wu. He played with the cuff of his shirt, and a flash of gray peeked out on his skin. She picked out three sides of a shining gray octagon, and realized he had the Earth Empire emblem tattooed onto his wrist.

She swore she saw him smile at her as he gave Wu a shove right over the edge of the roof.

She didn’t look around, didn’t think, didn’t do anything but react on the most visceral level as she hurled herself off the roof.

A combination of instinct and learned skills from her Earth Empire and Zaofu guard days made the dive effortless: she grabbed Wu’s hand with her left hand and slung the Kyoshi medal off her neck and locked it around one of the protruding spires with her right, jerking both of them violently.

 “What just happened?” Wu demanded as he grabbed her wrist with his other hand. 

Wu’s words melted to white noise, background to the sound of ripping. 

“Grab onto me,” Kuvira ordered as she lifted him higher, giving him a better angle to reach.

Heart hammering, she waited precious seconds as Wu’s shaking and damp hand unclamped from hers and he wrapped his whole body around hers, arms around her torso and legs woven with hers. She shook her right hand, secured her left around the gold of the medal, and shot her hand up to grip the spire.

Just as the ribbon of the metal split apart and fell limp around Kuvira’s left hand, her right hand sunk into the ornaments of the spire, right into the very realistic blade of the sword coming out of a bear statue’s mouth. The squick of her flesh molding into the unyielding platinum was loud enough, but the pain was like an electric shock, a tooth being removed, being bitten by that hog monkey all over again. Blood mixed with sweat, creating an even worse slick. 

She cringed, wriggled unconsciously, and automatically clenched her hand again, digging the metal deeper. With growing panic, she realized that she’d locked her hand around that sword, and the pain would cause her to release far sooner than they could survive. Blood dripped off the sword, down Kuvira’s arm, droplets falling onto her face, her chest, Wu’s face. 

The pain was already overwhelming, like a siren in a small room blaring as she had to memorize poetry. It was truly that moment, digging a blade deeper into her hand for survival, that she realized that goldbending actually was harder than regular steel or ironbending. Memories of metalbending flashed by—visualizing the earthen bits within, imagining the shape she wished the metal to take, feeling her chi transfer to the object, all as useful as someone trying to remember the mechanics behind breathing or swallowing. 

In the infinite space between two seconds, she thought about Wu’s coronation and crushing that gold the first time. She’d been so livid and disgusted that day, sickened by the idea that the world leaders who claimed to be so beyond the Hundred Year War Fire Nation’s tyranny were willing to throw an entire nation to the beasts. She remembered how that anger had turned to determination, and it was like she became an unstoppable force. She’d just thought about what she’d do if they tried to stop her from saving her nation, and the metal had crushed under her will. 

_If I can just live and finish that job…_ She visualized the shape she needed, and watched with tears of relief as the gold encircled the platinum sword midway down the hilt and solidified into a ring. She wrenched out her left hand and grabbed the ring, secured her sweaty hand around it, and looked to her butchered hand. 

For a moment, she sincerely believed she’d lost control of her fine motor movements in the hand. 

(How long had it been? A few seconds? A minute?)

She tried to command her bleeding hand the way she’d commanded the medal. Could she have actually locked it around the sword, or was it a mental block, the pain so much that she couldn’t bear to move her mangled hand?

She took a deep breath and let herself sink into the pain. It didn’t just bite, it gnawed, vaguely akin to the sting of a paper cut and burning. She knew it didn’t make sense, but it almost felt like panic physically translated to pain, as if the knowledge that there was something desperately wrong with a part of her body a pain in and of itself.

She unclenched her hand, her heart practically exploding in both relief and sudden pain. The hand fell to her side limp, staining her skirt now as well. But spirits, she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything, didn’t feel anything, could barely see anything…

It was like being jolted awake when she felt a strong grip suddenly encompass her waist. She registered enough color to realize it wasn’t Korra who had saved her, and within a few seconds, she recognized Tenzin. 

In a blur, the airbending master set her and Wu gently back onto the roof, a good few yards from the edge. Wu released her, or maybe Korra ripped him off Kuvira. With her shaking good hand, she embraced Korra, waiting for her stress levels to lower. Her mind and senses were so overwhelmed that at some point during the long embrace, Kuvira had rag-dolled into Korra, senses blacking all at once.

The first image Kuvira saw when she regained consciousness was Korra’s face, and the clear cloudless sky above.

“Once a reckless hero, always a reckless hero,” Korra said.

Kuvira took a deep breath and pushed the flyaways out of her face. “Yeah…”

With Korra’s help, she sat up, taking in the various degrees of concern on all the attendees’ faces. To be expected, next to Korra and the innocents of parliament, Tenzin looked the most concerned. 

A shot of pain brought her attention back to her hand. To her disbelief, there was only one cut. That one cut, though, was probably one of the most grisly wounds she’d seen, even on the battlefield. Less than a quarter of an inch wide and the length of the heel of her hand, yet more akin to a ravine of flesh than a pen stroke line of cut. Even with the blood staining, she could clearly see the inside of her hand—the various reds and pinks of her flesh, the broken tissue, even the bone. It seemed more like a medical textbook’s anatomy drawing than a piece of her body. The fact that no one had patched her up yet sent a wave of panicked nausea through her gut. 

“How bad is this?” she muttered to Korra.

“I have no idea, but count yourself blessed compared to what you avoided.” Korra looked out toward Wu. “What you saved him from.”

For the first time since jumping after him, Kuvira made eye contact with Wu. He looked plenty shocked too, his smile gone, hastily slapped back on for her.

“You did a great job today,” Wu complimented, before turning to Mako with a scowl. “You, on the other hand!”

Mako flinched a bit. “The attendant’s in custody. He was a nonbender, been working for you for years. We had no reason to suspect.”

Wu turned to the world leaders. “ _Now_ can we discuss making her prime minister?”

Eska raised a brow. “Shouldn’t you prevent her from bleeding out first?”

Everything went fuzzy again, but somewhere in the walk off the roof with Korra supporting most of her weight, she managed to get the Kyoshi medal looped onto her left bicep. It felt right, even if she couldn’t say why.

* * *

“You’re a lucky woman, Kuvira,” The doctor commented. “Yep, lucky, lucky, indeed. You go find out who designed those statues on the parliament building and say, ‘Thank you for making that decorative sword a saber.’”

The closest emergency room was in the Upper Ring, and with that came the typical features of anything made to impress: spotless floors, calming tan colored walls, paintings of happy landscapes adorning them, and absolutely no commotion. A nurse had a wheelchair out the moment Korra and Kuvira walked in. Less than a minute after declining the wheelchair, they had Kuvira in a room. A nurse walked into the room with them, analyzed the wound, and sent a doctor before Kuvira could ask what they had to do. It was almost criminal how well-run the clinic was, especially when she thought about what she’d seen all over the nation.

The doctor was an older gentleman, prone to chitter as he worked, but masterful at what he did. It was mesmerizing, watching him weave that little needle in and out of her flesh. Of course, the pain was kept at bay ever since a nurse had injected in the local anesthetic, but the man was an artist.

“What would’ve happened if it had been double-edged?” Korra asked.

“Well, you see that nasty cut on the heel of her hand? Would’ve have a matching one up top along her fingers. No doubt, she would’ve torn a few tendons, and even the best doctors in the world often can’t fix those. Would’ve rendered this hand useless.”

“But this wound won’t?” Kuvira confirmed.

“No. Down here is just a lot of flesh and nerves. Lots of pain, but no real consequences.”

“So I can still bend?”

“Absolutely. But I highly recommend _not_ squeezing your hand while the cuts heal.”

To think she was one sword type away from losing part of her bending. It was terrifying even as an alternate outcome. 

“You know, even if you hadn’t come in with your name, I would’ve known you were a soldier of some kind,” the doctor said. Kuvira furrowed her brow. “You haven’t stopped watching the procedure once, and even the Avatar has looked away.”

Kuvira knew he was teasing her, but she nodded, playing along as her mind thawed from the past hour’s events.

The doctor caught her frowning at her tended wound. “Don’t worry, it’ll definitely leave a battle scar.”

She sighed, quietly. Just what she needed; another scar.

* * *

Yesterday’s events did not sink in until the next morning when Korra tossed a newspaper onto the counter over breakfast. The painkillers had allowed her a decent night’s sleep, but she still felt drained. The picture didn’t even register right away, Kuvira’s eyes glossing over the page as she lifted a cup of tea to her lips before settling onto the image. Black and white and angled from lower ground up, but zoomed in. It was early on in the rescue, a picture of the century. Kuvira was hanging onto that damn sword, the other hand still clutched around the Kyoshi medal. Wu had his face buried into her chest, wrapped around her like a damn purple pentapus. The dark of blood ran down from Kuvira’s hand to a thin line down her chest, droplets on Wu’s shoulders and her face. Through it all, the photographer had captured her looking at her bloody hand, features pensive rather than the internal mental collapse she’d actually been experiencing. The headline read  _FORMER ANTI-MONARCHY FIGURE SAVES LIFE OF THE EARTH KING._ Other headlines shouted hysteria like _EARTH KING’S ASSASSIN CLAIMS TO SUPPORT EARTH EMPIRE_ and _KUVIRA: THE EARTH KINGDOM’S FIRST PRIME MINISTER?_

“Wu truly looks like a royal buffoon,” Kuvira grumbled as she handed Korra the paper.

“He's a royal buffoon at _all times._ This photographer just did a great job capturing it.”

Kuvira cracked a smile that she hid with a sip of tea.

“Also, heads up, but if and when the world leaders officially give their okay for Wu to go ahead and let you be prime minister, he’s going to want to celebrate after. Do you think you’re feeling up for it?”

She shrugged. “I could have a cut myself shaving and call it a good enough reason to not ‘celebrate’ with Wu, but I suspect it’d be a good political move to appease him. Let’s go in expecting to take some of high-end liquor and leave early.”

“Okay, but tell me if you don’t feel up for it at all. Everyone would understand.”

Kuvira quirked a brow. “You think they’d _understand_ once they see that it was just a flesh wound?”

“People saw bone. They’d exaggerate without you saying a word.”

The kitchen fell into a silent lull, only broken by Korra’s reminders for Kuvira to keep her hand above her heart, word for word what the doctor said. Kuvira tried to read the other articles, but her eyes returned to the photo and the accompanying article about the assassination attempt. Surprisingly, they got their facts straight and gave Wu the normal amount of respect given to a monarch. 

How could anyone look at that photo and think it looked iconic or poignant or anything like what the article described? It looked like an overproduced shot of a babysitter trying to wrangle in a very stupid child. Because, for spirits’ sake, that was what it was. Wu was a man-child, a royal idiot, the royal buffoon, and absolutely no one who knew Wu disputed that. Very rarely could others (especially Mako) could get the pampered brat to admit it.

What kind of people would look at that photo and see what the article presented? Would most people believe it, or did it take a special breed of person? Royal super-fans, for instance? 

Or just normal royal loyalists?

_Just like your parents._

It was like throwing a carcass into an open buzzard wasp nest: memories, phantom emotions, and the faint sound of her parents’ voices sliced her consciousness. She grimaced without realizing it.

“You okay?” Korra asked, her eyes were on Kuvira’s injured hand. 

For the first time in years, Kuvira didn’t want to feel these emotions in front of Korra. 

“Yeah. Just…tense. I’m gonna see if a bath helps.”

Korra gave her a nod, and she excused herself. As she fetched the waterproof casing from their bedroom and wrapped it around her right hand, her thoughts drifted back to her parents. The royal loyalists. The ones who scared her by telling her stories of the Fire Nation swallowing Ba Sing Se from the inside out. The ones who kept framed photos of the Earth monarchy in the living room. The father who had a novel’s worth of stories about King Kuei , and the mother who’d buzz about royal baby births like they were her best friend’s children being born. 

She turned on the taps, and recalled sitting in the deepest cavern of her mind that first night she left Zaofu with Baatar, thinking that her parents would despise her for perpetuating Su’s ideology. Somehow, the same thought hadn’t passed through her mind when she declared herself Empress of the Earth Empire. She couldn’t be sure if she’d blocked out thinking about their shame, or if she resisted the urge to fantasize rubbing it in her parents’ damn faces for reasons of professionalism. 

She undressed and stepped into the tub, submerging with an arm raised above her head and settled onto the rim of the bathtub. 

Truly, she had no idea if the paper would circulate out to where her parents were, but the image was so clear in her mind. Her parents would see that photo and think that there was one thing their useless daughter did right. That at least she knew where her true alliance fell. Even if it wasn’t true, even if she still yearned for the day Wu’s royal line became only as powerful as the mover stars sharing the tabloid pages. 

Would they be proud of her? Would her parents regret saying she was pathetic and the worst earthbender in the world if they knew what she had accomplished? Would her father see the quality of her military campaign, even if it was of an opposite ideology? Would her mother be jealous of her for having gotten so close to the king?

She leaned back, and stared up at the ceiling.

Why did it suddenly feel like an anchor pulling on her heart into the pits of the unknown?

* * *

Even in a different country months later, Kuvira swore she and the world leaders never left Republic City City Hall. Now, of course, they were sitting in the main palace meeting room, surrounded by refurnished riches. Exactly twenty-four hours after Wu’s assassination attempt and the King sat Kuvira beside him, all mischievous smiles were a sharp contrast against Mako’s suffering-infused, exasperated frown. Clearly, Wu knew how to punish his bodyguards: namely, by keeping them.

“Why are you asking the world leaders for approval over a domestic decision?” Kuvira asked Wu in the precious moments they had before the world leaders flocked over to her.

“Small council idea. They think if I don’t get superficial approval someone might jump to start a war,” Wu replied.

Kuvira glanced around the room. “I don’t think any of these guys are that heartless.”

Even if she did believe Raiko would be that heartless. 

Also, why the hell hadn't Wu given her all of his small council’s proposals? She had never fully believed that Wu _needed_ the world leaders’ approval to elect a prime minister, but knowing all she had to do was not be such a “polarizing figure” was much different than thinking these leaders needed to believe in her.

“How’s your hand?” Tenzin asked after he greeted Korra with a hug.

Kuvira glanced at her bandaged hand. “It’s fine. A little tender, but I came off easy.” She paused. “I never did thank you for saving my life.”

Tenzin responded with a nod and a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

Kuvira managed to get an appreciative nod from Lord Zuko, but Wu was clearly on a tight schedule.

“Alright, let’s cut to the chase: we’re going to vote again on approving my and parliament’s choice for Kuvira as the Earth Kingdom’s first prime minister. In the last meeting, Fire Lord Izumi,” Wu motioned to her, “asked for polling numbers for Kuvira to confirm or deny any allegiance toward her.” An attendant handed Wu a piece of paper. “Based on numbers from the past few months, Kuvira has a seventy percent approval rating overall, with over ninety percent approval ratings in the rural areas of the kingdom.” 

He set the paper down and continued to address the group. “Even without office, Kuvira, with the help of Avatar Korra, has made a decent jump start repairing the Earth Kingdom, doing everything from building new schoolhouses to healing entire villages’ worth of patients suffering from malnutrition.” She thought about correcting him, but let it be. “There were crowds in the hundreds of thousands watching Kuvira’s ceremony yesterday, and I think we can all attest to Kuvira’s natural tendencies toward heroics, not villainy.” Kuvira exchanged a look with Korra, and the quickest eye roll in history. “Any further comments from the leaders?”

Raiko crossed his arms and spoke up. “All the land that the United Republic took back from the Earth Kingdom, including lands negotiated for while you were interim president—will you attempt to take those back, whether through force or diplomacy?”

“No,” Kuvira answered. “The Earth Kingdom needs to heal within before even thinking about becoming a major world player again.”

There was a pregnant pause, and Wu took the reigns again. “Let’s vote.”

“Right now, she does seem like the ideal candidate. Yes,” Fire Lord Izumi said.

“Yes,” Tenzin answered, exchanging a look with Korra.

“I’m still a bit apprehensive, but I approve,” Tonraq said.

“Just let her rule,” Desna drawled with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

“One term,” Raiko said, his words clipped.

“One term unless they re-appoint her,” Wu countered. “It’s in the constitution you approved.”

Raiko exhaled, with a hint of aggravation. “Only because I trust in this new system. Don’t make me regret it.”

There was one last pause before Wu decided to slam his hand down, less than an inch from Kuvira’s bad hand. She must have pulled a face as she flinched away, because she got one too many smiles as Wu announced that the Earth Kingdom had officially found a prime minister.

* * *

Wu offered a tour of the throne room and its adjacent quarters as his servants finished last minute preparations on the little cocktail hour he was throwing for this “milestone in Earth Kingdom history,” as if they weren’t going to have a _ball_ when Kuvira got officially sworn in the next week. She couldn’t say why, but she took Wu up on his offer.

“And here we have the war room, where Earth Kings and Queens would meet with their highest ranking generals,” Wu presented. “Ever since the, uh, _sacking_ , we’ve had to improvise with the decorations. I guess royal portraits are worth a lot more than portraits of the generals, so some of those guys are now covering the wall until my custom-made ink prints come in.”

Kuvira stopped in front of the portraits. There were a dozen or so up, ranging from paintings to detailed photographs. Their names were engraved in the frames. It was like walking into one of the history books she’d spent years reading, photos that had been replicated for books now lying right in front of her. As a child, she could remember dying to come inside the royal palace. She hated herself for not enjoying it the way she would’ve enjoyed it as a child. 

 She ran her fingertip over the raised engraved names. She felt detached from this moment, from these great generals whose names were never tainted and who were worthy to lie in this room for as long as the palace stood. She didn’t even get to the name she knew best as Wu called his little tour group elsewhere.

Her loyalist parents would be so jealous, and would just hate her that much more.

* * *

“Is there a word for standing alone and staring sadly off into the distance?” Korra inquired as she joined Kuvira on a balcony, the cocktail party already an hour in. 

“Brooding,” Kuvira answered tersely, her brain just dampened enough in alcohol to speak candidly but not stupidly.

Korra put an arm around her. “You brood _a lot_.”

“Kill it now while you have the chance.”

Korra laughed. “What’s on your mind? You’re not a sad drunk.”

“Nor am I drunk at all.” She sighed. “I don’t think it’d make sense if I try to explain it.”

“Do you want to try?”

Kuvira shifted closer to Korra. “Not here. Not now.”

Korra nodded. “I’ll wait if you want me to.” Her lips drew into a wide smile. “Hey, congratulations.”

Kuvira shrugged. “I didn’t do anything.”

“No, it’s not like you just got elected as the first prime minister in Earth Kingdom history or anything.”

“I couldn't have done it without you. In fact, you did most of the work.”

“You’re the one who picked the towns and jumped after Wu. Hell, you even won Earth Rumble. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Honestly, I’m happy.”

What would it take to give Korra a moment to not worry about Kuvira? Just a moment…

“I meant your ha—”

Kuvira raised a finger from her good hand to hush her, before leaning in to capture her lips. She intended for a tender kiss, but gave a rather urgent one instead. It caught Korra off guard momentarily, but she responded with a passionate one. Their hands found one another, squeezing their laced fingers tight, Korra’s other hand resting on Kuvira’s hip. Something felt so different about this moment, like they weren’t kissing anymore. She thought about cosmic energy, about how much sake she’d had, and how her injured hand was aching again but she couldn’t feel it. They were both standing, yet Kuvira felt precariously untethered from the earth. For just a moment, she’d fully convinced herself that she _was_ happy.

* * *

Kuvira knew she should try to sleep, and the bottle of pills on the bedside table were the easiest method to slip into a slumber, but she kept the light on, kept the pills on the table, and read. She had left prison with a book collection of a dozen, and within the past few months, it had exponentially increased. Now, she could fill a bookshelf alone with histories that spanned the entirety Age of Wan. The volume she had been drawn to that night detailed the years 138 to 145 AG, focusing mostly on the northern Earth Kingdom.

“How are you feeling?” Korra asked as she slipped into bed next to her.

“Decent. Pain’s already waning.”

“Great. If it does get worse, though, don’t feel bad taking those. I know you’re not a huge pills person.”

Kuvira leaned back into the headboard and flipped through the pages of her book. With a bit of distance, there was something about the guilt she felt over Wu’s assassination attempt that didn’t make sense. Korra wasn’t just being supportive when she said Kuvira had nothing to feel bad about, she was being logical. Kuvira hadn’t ordered that attack, and had in fact stopped it. She should feel proud to have gotten this far. Saving Wu was something Captain Kuvira would’ve done. Why did she still automatically pick out the negative to it? It couldn’t just be from a fear that there were more radicals out there like that guy. It felt legions bigger.

_Because until you face your primal wound, you’re never going to escape it._

She retrieved a map of the Earth Kingdom off the top of her dresser and laid it out over the bedspread. 

“How long would it take Naga to get here?” Kuvira asked, pointing to a town just outside Ba Sing Se.

“Less than an hour,” Korra replied. She glanced up at Kuvira. “What’s up there?”

“An old general, the one responsible for quelling the rising tensions between two townslocated in the north,” she motioned toward the book. “He has something of mine.”

“Was he a general in the Earth Empire?”

“No.” She looked around for the necessary articles of clothing. “I’ll tell you while we go.”

“You tell me the moment we get on Naga.”

“Only if you agree to not turn around.”

The two of them suited up into jackets, boots, and gloves , and jumped onto Naga. Once the polar bear dog had reached full running speed, Ba Sing Se whizzing by in the blacks of night, Kuvira filled Korra in on the details.

“His name is Zhang, and his military career lasted about nine years. Typical story for the time—King Kuei was always recruiting for his army, but they were sent out on domestic clean up missions—more charity work than anything. The conflicts following the Hundred Year War were done, and people joined the army not because the nation wanted them, but because they felt the nation didn’t. His family was well off, but hit a major financial rut just as he was about to enter higher education. He joined the military as an overprivileged fool, and he spent his first few years being pushed down to size over and over again without the message sinking in. 

“Then, conflicts started arising in the northern region, towns claiming the same mines. Those in Ba Sing Se thought that the towns would just figure something out, but violence erupted before then. National representatives were dispatched to subdue the fighting, but they were killed by the overzealous townspeople. Kuei sent in the military, including Zhang. Zhang’s commander was killed in the first battle, but he managed to turn the tides, and quell the rebellion before any more men were lost. Several smaller revolts continued for another several years, but every battle Zhang fought, he won with minimal casualties. A tactician of the highest order.

“Once everything returned to the peace as it was before, Zhang was a heavily decorated military general, and served on the king’s Council of Five. He’d made a better life for himself that he could’ve ever made with just higher education.”

“And how do you know him?”

“While working on the Council of Five, he befriended and eventually fell in love with one of Hou-Ting’s best friends, and they were married within the year. They had one child together some years later.”

“Did you know the kid?”

“No one did. All the history accounts say the child disappeared sometime before the age of ten. Theories range from the child dying in an accident to contracting an fatal illness. Others say the child ran away to the farthest corner of the earth. All that’s confirmed is that the general retired after the child disappeared.”

“And this guy had nothing to do with the Earth Empire?”

“No. He’s a royal loyalist, anyway. He’d never have anything to do with my old movement, even if Wu’s an idiot.”

“I don’t get this. If he’s a retired royal loyalist general, why would you have ever encountered him? I mean, the only royal loyalists you knew were…your parents.”

The last two words drifted off into the night, flying off along with the dirt Naga kicked up in her wake.

“You’re trying to find your parents,” Korra said.

“Not trying. I know where they are. I’ve known for years. Their names came up in censuses taken while uniting the Earth Kingdom.”

“Did you ever talk to them?”

“No. I thought they’d break my focus, and I didn’t think I could afford to shake myself emotionally with all that weighed on my shoulders.”

“So why now?”

“Because it’d be irresponsible as a leader to leave any emotional cracks unfilled. I have to face them, see what’s become of them.” Kuvira glanced over her shoulder. “Are you going to turn Naga around?”

“No.”

Within the next twenty minutes, they arrived in Paibi, one of the few towns in the Earth Kingdom that looked bare, but not decrepit—concrete still lined the streets, all the homes and facilities appeared to be in good shape and working properly, and street lights were lit for the appropriate hour. No one crept through the streets. Kuvira dismounted and began a slow walk toward one of the bigger homes on the edge of town, Korra trailing Naga from behind.

“Internal economy?” Korra asked.

“Yeah. They tend to elect officials who’re good at working tax loopholes on their products.”

Korra gave her a wry look. “Are you gonna fix that?”

“I’ll put it on the list.”

Zhang’s house was immaculate, the topiaries trimmed down to the leaf, the paint on the walls and roof pristine, even the windows were partially open to let the spring breeze through .

Kuvira knocked on the door and resisted the urge to fiddle with her bandaged hand. She’d brought the Kyoshi medal-turned-armband, resting snugly on her right bicep, and wondered how good of an idea that truly was. She also had no idea if she’d recognize him…

“Wait here,” Kuvira requested before she opened the house’s surrounding gate.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

A tall man with weathered skin, black hair peppered in gray, and a close shaven beard and alert eyes answered the door. Even at the ridiculous hour they’d chosen to come, he was still dressed in expensive robes that would look in place attending a war meeting.

He looked down at her with those eyes, and for a moment, she swore she saw them widen.

“Kuvira?” Zhang asked, his tone akin to the way a teacher speaks to a student when she shows up for a meeting he expected her to skip.

“Father,” she replied, keeping her own voice as even as possible.

He stepped aside, a silent gesture for her to come in. “Well don’t you look just like your mother.”

 


	28. The Dictator

Kuvira followed behind Zhang, neither of them speaking, her eyes attempting to drink in twenty years' worth of information. The interiors were decorated in green and gold, with lacquered wood furnishings and granite floors. Long buried, painful memories resurfaced, flashes of her childhood home passing by: the emerald chair her father used to sit in, the bronze stamp of earthbending on the bathroom wall, the plush rug of a badger mole on her childhood bedroom floor. She wondered if Zhang could see the pain in her eyes, or if he would even bother to look for it.

He invited her to take a seat with the motion of a hand, in a living room everywhere as feng shui as she could remember in their old home in Zaofu. She found a seat on one of his firm couches, right in the view of the framed paintings of King Kuei, Queen Hou-Ting, and Wu.

"How old are you?" Zhang asked as he stepped around somewhere behind her.

"Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine in a month."

"Old enough to drink, then. What's your poison?"

Call it faded memory, but she never remembered Zhang drinking. "No thank you," she declined.

He set two glasses of a clear liquid on the cocktail table. He took a seat, his gaze ambiguous and devoid of emotion, as if this was a card game to him. Just looking at him sparked a flame inside her she knew she had to suppress.

"So, what brings the dictator of the Earth Kingdom to visit her aging father?" he asked.

_Focus on what you came here for. No more._

"Where's Mother?"

Miraculously, the question came out as conversational as she'd hoped.

"Dead."

Kuvira's heart jumped in her chest, but that was it.

"I'm oddly surprised that you can talk about it so casually now. Funny how I got the impression that you loved her."

"You know emotional minimalism runs in the family." Despite the remark, she could see him twist his wedding ring around as he spoke. "Now, what do you want? You want me to get on my knees in tears begging for your forgiveness? You want me to tell you that the last words on your mother's dying breath were about how much she regretted never finding you again? You don't seem like the type who likes lying."

"You have no right to talk about me like you know me. The last time you had contact with me was when I was a child. Everything's changed."

Zhang reached for the cocktail table and took a sip of his drink. "Can't really argue with that one. Fine, I'll admit that all I know about you I got from my friends in Ba Sing Se and newspaper articles about your Earth Empire disaster."

She ignored the icy stab to her heart from the last three words. "I'm not here to talk politics with you. I'm here because you owe me an explanation. You can't just leave your only daughter, an eight-year-old girl, out to die and not tell me why you did it. Even the bitter man who emotionally abused me ever since I discovered I could bend wasn't that cruel."

He spun his glass as he spoke. "I needed a strong child, and you weren't promising. I figured you'd go become one of those street rats, and if that didn't work, it's not like we could've offered you a better life. Understand this much, Kuvira: I wanted to love you, but only mothers can love the runt of their litters. All I could ever do for you was pity you, and what would that have done for you?"

"I was your only child. I was _eight_."

"Yes, you were eight, and you were afraid to stop rocks, couldn't dig your hands into the dirt without jamming your fingers. I did everything I could, but I wasn't meant to raise a kid with extra needs. Believe me, I wanted to give you the mercy of leaving you on some orphanage's doorsteps when you discovered you could bend by seismic sense but didn't move a rock for months, but your mother insisted that we wait. What we did was merciful. We gave you a chance at another life where someone could find a use for you. You were never meant to be a general's daughter."

What kind of deluded narcissist thought abandoning a child so she wouldn't be emotionally abused until eighteen as _merciful_?

Kuvira's mouth twisted into an unfamiliar smile. "Tell me more about how I wasn't meant to be a general's daughter." She leaned forward. "Tell me that I didn't run a military campaign that brought more peace to the nation than anything you ever did. Tell me that I'm not as smart as you, as resourceful as you, as successful as you."

"Kuvira—"

"Don't say my name as if you own it. I made my name. I did everything you could've ever wanted a daughter to do all without an ounce of your help. I'm an earthbending and metalbending master. What're you? Some washed up widower whose name means nothing outside of the pages of history books. I am a general's daughter, but you're no general."

"What exactly do you want, Kuvira? It's well past midnight and I have a Paibi council meeting early tomorrow. If I've observed anything from the past ten minutes, it's that you're not here to reconcile."

She acknowledged deep within that the pain from his words weren't from the realization that her father didn't love her any more than he did the day he left her, but that somehow, the little girl calling for her mom and dad still lived inside her and believed reconcile was possible.

"You've answered everything I need to know. Tell the council that the central government won't accept your town's tax evasions starting next week."

She stood up and managed three steps before Zhang spoke again. "I heard you got that bandage on your hand saving the Earth King."

She stopped but did not face him. "Yes."

"How'd you survive that? No one could hold onto a real, sharpened sword while bearing the weight of two people long enough for rescue."

"I bent the medal they gave me into a ring and set it on the statue. Held onto it with my good hand."

He snorted. "You want me to believe you metalbent pure gold?" She turned around and watched as he eyed the gold band on her arm. "Is that the medal, right there? Come over here. I want to see if it's pure gold."

His belittling tone began to crawl under her skin, making it harder for her to snuff out the flickering flame of anger. "You're not even a metalbender."

She flinched to remove the metal, but her father approached her and removed it himself. Even with their height differences, with Kuvira a few inches taller, nothing had given her such a wave of chills since Lin first touched her after surrendering; a push of dominance when she knew she was weak.

"It _is_ pure gold." He looked up at her, perplexed. "How does a weak, impulsive, cowardly little bitch like you gain bending abilities like _that_?"

Kuvira knew she snapped: there wasn't a single thought going through her head, no hesitance of action. Just several fluid motions that split the gold ring in two and buried them into the wall, catching Zhang's wrists between them.

"What did I ever do to you to deserve this?" she demanded, struggling to keep her voice from wavering. "How can you still harbor this kind of hatred for a _child_?"

"You think I hate the kid I abandoned twenty years ago? I pitied her, I was exasperated by that kid, but I never hated my runt of a daughter. No, I hate _you_ , from the moment I saw the tyranny you rained down on my nation. What kind of moral man does anything less to his _dictator_ daughter? You enslaved the people I fought to protect. You tried to topple a government system that's been thriving for thousands of years like a cocky child. You had everything that happened to you coming. Do you really think I'd forgive _the Great Uniter_?"

The waves of shame that pummeled her under Su's gaze shortly after her arrest ate at the edges of her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking it out. She refused to cry in front of him, refused to let him open this wound again. "You want to call me cocky while you're hurling insults at the person holding your life in her hands?"

"I don't take you as much of a killer."

She couldn't let this go on, not without risking everything. This was possibly the worst decision she'd made since being released from prison, and she had to minimize the damages while she still could. She knew she should just take her gold back and walk away. Yet, there was another part of her that morphed into a bigger, more vile specter, feeding off rage she had contained for decades, that could only imagine a world where he didn't exist at all.

She mediated long and hard about it. She could imagine the bending forms with one hand, removing all the iron from his veins, shifting the gold binding his wrists into a dagger and slitting his throat the way she used to execute as the Great Uniter. As she stared harder and harder at her father — as if he even deserved the title — she swore she could see that black figure from the Fog of Lost Souls staring her down, giving her a final chance to give that lost little girl some peace. She could hear it whisper, " _Slay the monster_."

She knew it, though. She knew in mind, body, and soul that slaying the monster wasn't going to bring that lost little girl peace. All it would ever do was turn that little girl into patricidal madwoman. She'd made a promise to Korra to trudge forward, to redeem her sins. She'd made a bigger promise to _herself,_ promised that confused, hope-drained child that had dug itself from her memory to her soul that she would choose the compassion and love that saved her life in Republic City five years before. She'd promised to bring that love to her own children one day.

She bent and tore the gold off the wall, molding them back into a single band before she slipped it back onto her arm.

"My life would be so much easier if I killed you now," she hissed, looking just beyond his face to feign eye contact.

"Then why hesitate?"

"Because I love myself too much to waste the anguish on you."

She watched him twist his wedding ring. It was such a tragic, pathetic scene, watching him turn it endlessly, like it was sustaining his wife's soul somehow.

"She killed herself because of you."

Kuvira didn't need to voice the disbelief. "She blamed us for letting you turn into a monster. I told her that we had nothing to do with it, but she wouldn't let it drop. I tried so hard to save her, to help her believe in herself again and move on, but she wouldn't stop fixating on her _poor little baby_ , like you were some rabid pet dog. She killed herself after you took Zaofu. Never even got to hear that you surrendered."

Kuvira took one last long, somber look at her father. "Maybe if you'd shouldered some of the blame, she'd still be alive."

She walked out without uttering another word, knowing she'd never see him again. There was no mistaking the tears that glistened before he broke that final moment of eye contact.

* * *

 Korra and Naga sat against the outer fence when Kuvira found them, with the Avatar lying with more peace in a moment's snapshot than Kuvira imagined she could ever get in a lifetime.

"How are you doing?" Korra asked as she jumped to her feet. Naga gave a slow wag at Kuvira's approach.

"If you don't mind, there's one more place I'd like to visit."

Korra nodded, and the two of them walked to the local cemetery, with the polar bear dog padding not far behind; the town was small enough that Kuvira had spotted it on their way in. She didn't really want to talk about it, but she knew Korra wanted to know what had gone down. She hoped it would help make the feelings real.

"He didn't want to reconcile," Kuvira started as they walked. "He believes I turned into a monster as the Great Uniter and determined that I deserved to rot in jail for the rest of my life. There was nothing to discuss with him."

"Did it get…physical?"

"I considered hurting him, killing him even, but I stopped myself. I thought about everything you'd ever taught me, what I taught myself sitting in that cell. I knew that no matter how devastated I was going to be knowing he's alive, I couldn't be the one to end his life. I'm not pretending I'm a spirit or god anymore."

Korra took her hand. "A wise choice, I'd think."

"She's dead." Kuvira interjected.

"Your mother?"

She gave a nod.

"Did your dad say how she died?"

"Committed suicide after I took Zaofu. She felt guilty, thought abandoning me caused me to turn into the monster the Great Uniter was." It hurt so much more saying it outside of that house, for the world to listen.

Korra said nothing, remaining the unshakable rock Kuvira was realizing minute by minute that she absolutely needed. With Naga waiting outside the plot, they walked through the cemetery, hand in hand, until Kuvira found the tombstone marked with her mother's name on it, with a bundle of red poppies lying against it. They were still fresh, and Kuvira wondered if her father set new ones down every week, or if it had been a special occasion.

She took a lotus position in front of it, setting her elbows on her knees and leaned on her good hand to face it.

"She was never a mother to me," Kuvira reminisced. "I can't even be sure if any memories I have of a nurturing mother caring for me as a small child are real. She was so weak. She let him torture me, even joined in. She never came back for me. She believed I was a monster. Why should I feel anything for her? She doesn't deserve it. I shouldn't need to…"

Korra knelt on a knee and put a hand on Kuvira's shoulder. "You don't need to mourn someone you didn't love."

"I didn't. I don't." She looked to her injured hand. "I feel nothing."

"It's okay."

Her lip quivered. "I don't have time for this…"

"Kuvira…"

"No, it doesn't—" she choked out a sob instead of 'matter.'

Korra embraced Kuvira and gently pulled her in, Kuvira's cheek against Korra's chest.

"This is the last time…" Kuvira muttered.

"Okay."

Korra cradled the back of Kuvira's head. Kuvira sniffled and wiped her eyes, Korra catching her good hand before she had the chance to put it down. The last Kuvira could remember in that moment, before she shut her eyes, was Korra's slow, even breathing, and her thumb drawing circles on the heel of Kuvira's hand. 

* * *

 

Kuvira woke up to the sun blaring down, the grass beneath her damp, Naga's belly rising and falling beneath her, and Korra as sound asleep as her polar bear dog. Realizing the time, she scooted away from the two of them and pulled a compact mirror out of her compartment of Naga's saddle, which lay on the grass nearby. Korra must have moved them the night before, Naga sleeping just within the cemetery's limits in a grave-free plot.

Incidentally, while the morning was lovely, the trials of the night before were written right into Kuvira's face. Dark circles lay under her puffy eyes, tear stains crusted onto her cheeks, and her face had dried out. She resisted verbally groaning, and plucked a water bottle out of the pack.

Which, of course, couldn't be opened with one hand. Her whole body drooped as she set the water bottle back onto the grass.

"Hey, lady?"

The voice was high-pitched, with the hesitance and faux confidence of a child. Kuvira turned around and found a boy standing a few yards away: shaggy jet black hair, amber eyes, wearing clothing that was a size too big, but clean.

"Yeah?" Kuvira answered.

"They give fines for loitering around here."

Kuvira glanced around and shrugged. "She," Kuvira shot a thumb out toward Korra, "would rather pay a ticket than get woken up, but thank you."

The boy walked up to Kuvira and popped the lid off the water bottle Kuvira had given up on. "Should I recognize you from somewhere?"

"Could you pour some water into my hand?" Kuvira muttered. The boy did as told, and Kuvira splashed the water onto her face. "That'd depend on how old are you."

"I'm eight."

She shook the water off her hand and dried her face with her shirtsleeve. "Press releases, then. Magazines, newspapers, media like that."

His eyes widened. "You're Kuvira. The prisoner of war who got out for making a new government system."

So this one didn't know her as the Great Uniter. She hated to think how relieved that made her feel.

"That's me."

He eyed her injured hand. "Is that the cut you got saving the Earth King?"

"Yeah."

"Does it still hurt?"

"It wouldn't if I had brought the painkillers."

"Was it scary, dangling up there like that?"

"Terrifying."

"Why didn't Avatar Korra save you?"

Kuvira smiled a bit. "Trust me, Korra was mad about that. I guess airbenders can't actually fly, but they bend the air around them using gliders or those squirrel suits. Korra didn't have her glider, and Tenzin happened to be wearing one, so he made the save."

"That makes sense."

"Yeah." Kuvira paused. "What's your name?"

"Takeo."

"So, do you live around here?"

"Yeah. I live in a group home close to here. The supervisors stop watching us closely after we turn seven, so I can slip out as long as I'm around for head count."

"Nice place?"

"Pretty nice, I guess." He crossed his arms. "They give us food and beds and clothes and have us go to school and stuff. Kids get adopted a lot."

"How does that work, exactly? Do you have to compete with other kids for prospective adoptive parents, or do the parents usually come in knowing which kid they want?"

The boy shrugged. "Well, adults first only come in to get the younger kids. The babies, maybe at oldest four. You know, before they have personalities and can remember traumas and stuff. With those kids, I don't think they know what competing is, so they're just picked out like poodle-monkeys at a pet store."

"Kids your age have to get adopted sometime."

"Maybe once every few years, and it's usually because some long lost family member found them. Most older kids will get adopted by trade people, who want to train the kids to work in the mines or become a soldier or do some other job no one really wants to do."

Was this kid really only eight years old? "So, as an earthbender, would you automatically go to the mines, or do they have more specialized jobs?"

The boy wrinkled his brow. "How do you know I'm an earthbender?"

"By the way you move. Trust me, kid, I'm more observant than most people you'll see." Kuvira looked up at the sky, comforted by that one constant between the here and now and her memories. "I used to love getting mutts like you. Everyone wore the same uniform, but you wouldn't believe the surprise on crooks' faces when the soldier they're attacking shoots fire from his fists or the amber-eyed mech pilot chuck a rock at them."

"You really think people would want me for that?"

Kuvira nodded. "Well, I would, but I also don't have an army anymore."

"Aren't you gonna be president or something? You get an army for that."

"Yes, but those soldiers are going to be helping with domestic service. Besides, you're too young to be working a job. Stay in school and keep practicing your earthbending."

He pouted a bit before his eyes focused back on Kuvira. "You're a metalbender, right?"

"It's kinda my forte."

"Can you teach me?"

Kuvira shrugged. "I could give it a shot." She removed one of the earrings she'd been wearing and let it hover in front of the two of them. "Let's start with moving some metal."

The boy frowned. "We don't start with reshaping metal?"

"Not if you don't want to break your fingers."

"Now, we train earthbenders to transition over to metalbenders by sensing the earth within metal, but truthfully, the greatest of metalbenders treat metal as if it's its own element. Once you can manipulate metal as its own entity, it allows the bending of more refined metals." She pointed toward the gold on her arm.

"How do I sense it?"

She placed the earring into his hand. "I don't know if I can explain. Focus your energy on it, and impose your will over the element. Try visualizing the back separating from the earring itself."

He laid the earring on his flat palm with one hand and hovered the other, fingers flexed, over it. He lasted thirty seconds before clenching his hand around the earring.

"I don't think I'm doing it right."

"They say it's a rare ability—one in fifty earthbenders. If you can't do it, it's no big deal." He handed her earring back, and she slipped it back on. "So, you have a story?"

He slouched. "It's not a good one."

"Mine's not good either."

"Then you tell yours first."

"My dad was a decorated general and my mom was the daughter of a social climber in Ba Sing Se, but behind closed doors, my dad was mentally abusive. He believed intimidation and slapping me around while learning earthbending was proper training. My mom was too weak- willed to stand up for me. Eventually, my lack of earthbending skills got me kicked out my home at eight years old. Dad told me to pick him up a pair of shoes, and when I came home, they were gone. I wandered around Zaofu and the surrounding area for a week. I got lucky enough to land on Suyin Beifong's doorstep, and she took me in as a protege. She was the nurturing parent I needed for a month, but once she thought I was okay, she stepped back, and kept that distance between us ever since. I was basically raised to be a glorified security guard."

Throughout her story, the boy had maintained eye contact the way she'd hardly seen adults do. It was only when it was his turn that he looked away.

"My parents weren't married, and when my mom gave birth to me, she took off," Takeo began. "My dad kept me for a little bit, but then she met this other girl, but she didn't want a firebender kid, even though I wasn't a firebender. So, my dad dropped me off at an orphanage, and I've been in the system since. I don't remember anything about him. The last thing I remember is some older kid telling me once I turned four that no one would ever adopt me." He picked at the grass. "I also don't want to go get forced into a job. The other kids don't know, but I like school. I'd rather to go Ba Sing Se University when I'm too old here than join the army. I'm not a good enough bender anyway."

"You can't possibly be as bad as I was at your age."

"How'd you get so good?"

"Suyin might've been a bad mother, but she was an excellent teacher. That, and I was more motivated to train because of a desire to be better than from a fear of my father."

They talked for a while, conversation flowing from what it was like to be a soldier to whether or not the boy liked sports or had friends. What he wanted to be when he grew up. What she wanted to be when she was a kid. Everything about this boy—the way he fidgeted when he spoke, his insecurities buried under precociousness, even the way he looked at her—was like looking in a mirror back to herself at his age. And, as much as lying in Korra's arms crying her way into unconsciousness over the guilt of indirectly causing the delusions that led the mother she never knew to kill herself had helped, talking to this boy had helped too. He had stirred something shaky, something visceral and beautiful and infinite: hope.

When Korra did wake up, she lumbered over to Kuvira and the boy and dropped herself into the circle.

"You bounce back fast," Korra commented.

Kuvira shrugged. "I'm sure the physical marks are still there."

"Your eyes are just a little bloodshot." Korra turned to the boy. "I'm Korra. What's your name?"

"Takeo," the boy replied.

"Cool. Has my girlfriend been bugging you for long?"

Takeo glanced at Kuvira and smiled. "No, she's been really nice. Adults don't really talk to me like she did. Are you really the Avatar?"

Korra nodded. "Yes, sir."

He looked between Korra and Kuvira, his eyes the size of tea saucers. "Wow."

"No big deal." Korra shrugged as she got to her feet. "Hey, we should get back soon."

Kuvira nodded as she pushed herself up. If she'd been placed in this situation eight years prior, before the callousness of the Great Uniter and the disciplined wisdom of her time in prison, she would've taken that boy's hand and thrown him on Naga's back. She understood reality, though. She still needed to talk to Korra about anything relating to the future. She had to establish her job, she had to save the entire kingdom, not just this kid. She hardly knew him.

She also couldn't just leave him, though.

Kuvira turned back to Takeo and removed the gold of the Kyoshi medal from her arm.

"I want you to have this," she offered, as she wrapped it around his upper arm like a coiled serpent. "And, when they try to convince you to join the army once you come of age, you're going to sell this and fund your university education."

For a moment, no one spoke, Korra and Takeo both staring at her with the same wide eyes and agape jaws.

After Takeo overcame his shock, he frowned. "I can't accept this. I didn't do anything—"

"Ever since I was brought into Su's home, up until now, all people said to me is that they see themselves in me," Kuvira glanced at Korra. "Well, meeting you, I got to experience that. I saw myself in you. I saw the lost and wasted little light of an amazing human being that I used to be. If this isn't for you, this is for me when I was eight. This is what I needed."

He ran his fingers over the gold, bottom lip trembling but no tears forming before he offered her a bow. She smiled, bowed back, and they said their goodbyes.

As they rode away from Paibi on the back of Naga, the only thing Korra said was, "What do you think would grant you an old-fashioned royal execution: using the Kyoshi medal as a piece of jewelry or giving it away to some random kid?"

Kuvira laughed. 

* * *

 

"Have you had enough fun for me to ruin it with a serious question?" Kuvira asked.

After a morning spent cleaning up, brushing off the dirt and and tears of Paibi with water and lips, the two of them found themselves on the roof of their home, basking in the sun and pretending the world wasn't going to shift in less than a week. Kuvira had stopped treating exposure to the sun as a holy experience, and as disappointed as she was that the magic was gone, the fact that the last vestiges of her time in prison were excised felt liberating.

Korra turned onto her side to face Kuvira, chuckling. "You only ever ask serious questions, so I'm used to it. Go ahead."

"When you imagine our future, what do you see?"

Korra pondered for a moment before responding with a grin. "I imagine us being the untouchable power couple until one of us dies an epic death because we were too stupid to say 'no' to a daring quest, and I'm going to guess people will fear us on principle."

Kuvira laughed. "Any specifics in between?"

"You never seem the married with two point five kids type."

"You caught me. What do you feel about kids?"

Korra's smile faded. "Honestly, when I was a teenager, and when I was with Mako, I daydreamed to the idea of having his babies and having a big crazy family like Tenzin's, but the idea has become more of a fantasy for me. I just…there are so many risks with me getting pregnant, and the amount of time I'd have to spend out of Avatar commission is scary to me. I already abandoned my people for three years; I don't want to deliberately leave them again, not even for something as incredible as carrying and giving birth to a child. And then, even adoption—that's a lot of time you have to dedicate to a baby, and I'd _want_ to spend that time with them, but as the Avatar, I just don't know how possible that is. Bumi and Kya have talked to me about what it really like to have the Avatar as a parent, and it's not pretty."

"Do you really believe you owe the world so much that you can't carve yourself the life you want because it may interfere temporarily with Avatar duties?"

"You know as well as anyone what happened when I left before." Korra's tone became crestfallen.

"Korra, you'd been traumatized and severely injured. You _needed_ a long recovery time, and it didn't have an easy fix. Having a kid… I'm not saying you have to carry a child to have a fulfilled life, but please don't go into this thinking any options are out of the question."

"But, anyway," The Avatar flopped her head down on her outstretched arm. "It's more than just trying to balance Avatar duties. I just…I don't know, feel a need to have a kid who looks like me. When I got with Asami, I started thinking of how two women have kids, and I didn't care either way if we adopted or one of us had biological kids down the road. And then, with bio kids…how the hell do we pick who gets to donate the genes?"

Kuvira shrugged. "Flip a coin?"

"It's a lot to deal with. I just, I don't know, don't want to deal with that. To answer your question, I'd prefer adoption." She paused. "But even that. Like I said, which one of us has time for a baby? I can't guarantee that I'd be around enough, and you have a country to run for at least five years. Do you even want to take care of a newborn?"

Kuvira bit her lip. "Honestly, I love babies as much as much as the average person. I don't…feel like having one is necessary. I feel like adopting an older child almost seems more practical in whatever circumstances we're in."

Korra smiled. "You want that gold band back, don't you?"

"That gold band, and another two or three."

"You already effectively adopted the entire country. We're not topping three kids."

Kuvira took Korra's hand. "If and when we go through any arrangements, I need your okay that this is something you even remotely want."

"All I want is to not be put in a position where I become a neglectful parent."

"So, your fear is that they'd notice if you're gone for weekend trips?"

"Weekend trips. Weeklong trips. Month-long trips. I can't predict how crazy the world is going to get."

"Well, there are two of us. If I'm the working mom while you're around Ba Sing Se, I can become primary caregiver when you're gone. If they're school aged, it'd be feasible even with work."

Korra shook her head in amusement. "Look at us, planning our childcare schedules before you have a job or children."

"And you're sure you want kids?"

"Absolutely. You have my word that I'll be that parent who makes up stupid bedtime stories by evening, then defeating villains by night. Maybe, if they get lucky, I'll even be like my dad and tackle them when they try to jump off a roof to save their stupid girlfriends."

Kuvira gave a snort. "Are you really still bitter about that? You're going to have dozens of other opportunities to save me from my own impulsivity. You already got to do it once with a spirit canon. The roof would've only been dwarfed in comparison. What we really need is for _me_ to save _you._ "

"Call me when your hand heals and I'll jump off a mountain bound in chains so you can do a classic Captain Kuvira save."

"Meanwhile, you're going to stop griping in three…two…"

On "one," Kuvira rolled and flung herself off the roof, Korra latching onto her in less than a second into the fall, cushioning their landing with an air blast.

"Did you jus—just—?" Korra asked.

Kuvira shrugged.

There was a moment of silence as Korra processed what she had done, before Kuvira began to laugh.

"You're supposed to dig this nation out of chaos and poverty," Korra said, unable to stifle her own. "And _I'm_ supposed to keep the world in balance." They started to laugh harder. "Shit!"  

* * *

 

As much as it wasn't anything to be surprised about, Kuvira wasn't expecting the inaugural ball to resemble a fairy tale as she stepped into the ballroom with three painkillers in her system and not much else.

"If young love doesn't bloom in this party, I'm going to lose my faith in the inherent goodness of the universe," Kuvira joked with Korra as they entered hand in hand.

The inauguration and swearing of the oath wasn't supposed to be a big event, but Wu wouldn't take no for an answer. The ceremony was held outside the palace, out in the open, with Kuvira, Wu, several Earth Kingdom officials, and Korra set up on a stage with a crowd of hundreds of thousands of Earth Kingdom citizens watching with keen interest and excitement from a well-guarded audience. The moment before she walked over to Wu to recite her oath, Korra pulled her in for what meant to be a quick, encouraging hug - until Kuvira took the opportunity and leaned in for quick, but a very public kiss, secretly knowing she would begin her oath with a blush in her cheeks. The real highlight of the ceremony was Korra leaning into her after the swearing, whispering into her ear, "I'm so proud of you."

"Well, we have our choices. We can coerce Bolin and Opal back together, find Mako a new lady, or convince Kai to propose to Jinora and see what Tenzin does," Korra replied.

"As long as it's not you."

"What would you do if I proposed during this ball?"

"Chuck a brick in your face."

"Rude."

Kuvira's eyes fell on the Beifong table. She hadn't expected it at all, but every Beifong was accounted for, even Opal. She and Su made eye contact, and Kuvira's mentor gave her a smile.

Kuvira went right up to Opal. "I hate to say it, but I'm surprised you're here."

Opal hinted the tiniest smile. "Mom thought I'd regret passing up the opportunity."

"Congrats, Gutter Rat," Wei said.

Kuvira rolled her eyes. "I'll make you a gutter rat if you try that again outside of this conversation."

"How long till they remove the stitches?" Wing asked.

"One more week, assuming all goes well."

"Is it gnarly?"

"I have a lot worse to compare it to, but it'll leave a nice big scar."

"No plastic surgery for you? Bet the king would pay for it," Wei said.

"I don't need to give him the pleasure of thinking I'm enjoying the elite lifestyle."

"Does the prime minister get security and a swanky house like Raiko?"

Kuvira shook her head. "We can choose whether or not we want security, and I'd only get it if there were kids involved. No houses or anything. I get an office."

Bolin approached the table, snooping on the conversation. "What you should do is ask Wu for Mako and then release him back to Republic City. I think he's actually losing his mind."

Bolin, Kuvira, and Korra exchanged hugs, and Korra said, "I don't think Wu's going to let Mako go."

Kuvira looked to Baatar. "The Air Nation's been proven effective at kidnapping." Baatar blushed, causing his siblings to laugh in unison.

Mako and Asami advanced to the table within the minute. "Should I be worried about how much my name has come up in this conversation?"

"Only if the idea of being kidnapped for your mental health worries you," Bolin replied.

Mako rolled his eyes. "You know the problem with you guys? More than half of you aren't joking."

Korra smiled. "Which half, detective?"

Mako hesitated before throwing his hands up, not before pointing an accusatory finger at Korra. "Don't. Kidnap. Me."

The Avatar smirked. "We won't kidnap you if you admit that the only way you cope with your job is by getting drunk and going with Kuvira and I to underground strip clubs."

Kuvira resisted mimicking Mako's gesture of exasperation.

"You said we'd never talk about that night," Mako grumbled.

Well, at least two of them were on the same wavelength. Maybe it would be a good idea to to try to steal Mako from Wu. 

* * *

 

Korra was never a big fan of galas or balls, but this one was an exception. Sure, having all her friends around made it much more bearable, but there was a genuine lightness to the atmosphere. That, and Korra had never seen Kuvira so happy in a social setting. The way she talked to the guests, joked around with the Beifongs, and would shoot Korra a loving gaze once every hour or so felt so right. The broken woman she had created a spirit portal with was recovering. Sure, Korra knew as well as anyone that the healing wasn't over, and may never be over, but Kuvira had made incredible progress.

Watching Kuvira coax Baatar onto the dance floor, so carefree, Korra knew that promise to never give up on Kuvira was the best Avatar promise she'd ever made. It was incredible, really; back then, she wouldn't have thought in a million years that she'd fall for Su's former protege. She had no idea how much she would be able to teach that protege, and how much that protege would teach her in return.

She glanced over to find Mako and Asami abandoned by Bolin at least an hour ago when he took the dance floor for a "friendly" dance with Opal. Mako would be fine dealing with working for Wu until the Earth Kingdom was fixed, but Korra hadn't talked to Asami since she had Kuvira released into her custody.

"How've you been?" Korra asked as she approached Asami with a hug.

Asami shrugged. "Better than you'd think. When we separated, I realized that, well, I really needed to give myself real alone time. I visited my mom's family, reconnected with some friends I had before I met Mako…I think that's what I needed. Talking to the people in my life when I was happy with my father. It's helped me."

Korra gave a relived smile. "I'm so happy to hear that." Korra bit her lip. "How's the company?"

"Doing great. The reconstruction and expansion projects in Republic City are still going strong, so we're always busy."

Korra rubbed her arm, a nervous tick of hers. "By the way, the radio silence the past few months—"

"Don't worry about it." Asami smiled. "Just don't do it again."

"I'll try not to." She glanced at Kuvira, throwing Baatar around like the professional dancer she was. "You know she's—"

Asami sighed. "I won't judge your romantic choices if you don't judge mine."

Korra's jaw slackened. "Did you get back together with Mako?"

Mako looked over in surprise, and Asami laughed. "No, Mako and I are not back together. I just meant hypothetically."

One of the Beifong twins slid his chair over, suggesting slyly, "Just get together with Junior and complete the square."

Korra and Asami glared at Wei (she was pretty sure it was Wei) as he returned to his spot.

Mako shrugged. "It makes sense." 

* * *

 

After tossing Baatar around for a bit, Kuvira gave the poor, panting creature a break. He and his thirty pounds of muscle collapsed into a chair beside his brothers, and Kuvira had to resist teasing him for it. She feared there would always be a "the one that got away" feeling between her and Baatar, but the dynamic between the two was the same as when they were kids: a whole lot more fun than when they were together.

"I couldn't keep up with you when you were twelve," Bataar joked, catching his breath, "Why would I be able to now?"

"Excuse me for having faith in you," Kuvira retorted as she found a seat.

She'd only noticed Korra and Asami talking after her dance with Baatar ended. She was dreading the flame of jealousy, but it was more like a match's flicker than a campfire. She expected some residual regret seeing her, but Kuvira had fully accepted that Asami would never and didn't have to forgive her for killing Hiroshi. It was okay. Besides, Korra kept her gaze on Kuvira the entire walk back to the Beifong table.

She turned to Korra. "Will I get a dance with you?"

Korra pretended to muse on the thought. "No."

She leaned into Korra. "Is Asami good?"

Korra nodded. "Mako's the only sad one now." She gave him a playful punch on his shoulder.

"Can't we talk about politics or something?" Mako groaned.

The teasing only lasted as long as the time before the next slow dance. For a few seconds, Kuvira watched as couples migrated to the dance floor—Su and Baatar Sr., Bolin and Opal, Wing and Wei, even Mako and Asami with a shrug.

"Want to dance, Saber?" Korra asked, holding out her hand.

"I thought you said no," Kuvira replied as she got to her feet, eyeing her curiously.

"Nah."

They found a spot among the swaying bodies and positioned themselves so Kuvira could put the least amount of pressure on her right hand as possible. She couldn't remember if she'd taught Korra a proper slow dance while in prison, but the two of them had the simple dance executed perfectly in synch.

"Out of all my Avatar accomplishments, I think you're my biggest success," Korra whispered in Kuvira's ear. "Look around, if you haven't. All this is because of you. It's astounding."

"Don't cut yourself out of the equation."

They touched foreheads. "Never."

After a brief, tender kiss, they pulled away, Korra all smiles.

"One more thing," Korra added, breaking the moment.

Kuvira's eyes darkened. "Don't you dare."

Korra reached into her pocket.

"I'm serious. I will say no."

Korra revealed a small piece of paper. Kuvira took it with her good hand and read the words, "Will you go penguin sledding with me?"

Kuvira folded into Korra muffling her laughter.

"You are an Avatar Aang fanatic, aren't you? There you go."

Kuvira cupped Korra's face despite the pain. "Yes, I'll go penguin sledding with you."

"Great, because I'm going to wipe the floor with you."

"You're on."


	29. Epilogue: Heroes & Villains

1 Year Later

Kuvira felt surprisingly energized after her day of work. She wanted to pin the blame on the beautiful spring day and the fact that parliament passed a stimulus package that would provide jobs for an estimated several hundred thousand people, but the humble truth was because it was a Friday, and Korra had just returned from a weeklong Avatar mission in the Fire Nation.

There was audible bustling coming from within Korra and Kuvira's home, but it wasn't that unusual. Korra had taken on a pretty distinct "fun uncle" means of parenting, and Kuvira didn't reject it. It kept the kids grinning.

When she opened the door, all three kids and Korra were standing around the front entrance, Anaya on Korra's shoulders, Korra and Takeo in particular seemingly placed where they were standing. Kuvira opened her mouth to question it, but Park came running from behind Korra and full force into her arms, crying out, "They're crazy!"

Kuvira chuckled a bit and picked up her now three-year-old, kissing his forehead before looking into his wide eyes.

"I'll find you a chi blocking trainer when you're older so your siblings can't mess with you anymore, promise," she crooned.

The child still clung to her.

"You seem better," Korra commented, her face brightened considerably.

Kuvira hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, the demons of the Great Uniter and solitary confinement still occasional guests in her nightmares.

"Caffeine, honestly. I'm probably going to crash, so if you want to do anything, aim for the earlier side," Kuvira answered, setting Park down to properly rub the back of her neck. "Hey, Naya, Tak, how was school today?"

"Really good," Anaya answered immediately.

"Ms. Kwan taught us about the distributive property of multiplication today. We're gonna have a pop quiz about it on Monday," Takeo said, moving to the other side of the room, as if he were going to grab something.

"What kind of pop quiz is announced three days in advance?" Kuvira asked, eying his body language. He had his hands shoved into his pockets, his own eyes flitting around the room.

"A dumb one, I guess."

Kuvira shot a look to Korra. "I expect good results, then."

"For sure."

Why was Anaya still on Korra's shoulders? It was almost as if they had placed themselves directly in front of her…

"Is there something in the backyard?" Kuvira asked.

Not-so-surprisingly, Takeo kept a straight face and Korra's flashed brief panic.

Not even bothering to comment on her apparent four children, Kuvira shifted the stone flooring under Korra's feet to the left.

Apparently, Korra and the kids were trying to hide the fact that the back door was completely gone. For a moment, all Kuvira could do was stare, fingers touching her parted, silent lips.

"Okay, it's not the kids' fault," Korra intervened, putting Anaya on the floor. "We were playing earth soccer—"

"Where's the door?" Kuvira asked.

"—So I figured since Park isn't a bender, I'd put him on my team for fairness' sake, and…one of the older kids kicked the ball and it would've hit Park, so I had to push him out of the way—"

"No, you're making it sound like you threw _Park_ through the door!" Takeo protested.

Korra glared at Takeo. "So I knocked _the ball_ out of the way, and it shattered through the door, the front window."

Kuvira walked out through the doorway, conveniently devoid of glass and turned to look back through what must've been the ball's trajectory. A bit of seismic sense and she could tell it was lying on the neighbor across the way's living room floor. Thank the spirits, but his window must've been opened when the ball flew in.

"I don't suppose any of you have a plan to get the ball back?" Kuvira asked.

Takeo and Korra shook their heads.

"That's the neighbor who crushes heads," Takeo answered.

Kuvira was going to kill Arnav; for someone who was hired to protect her kids, scaring the shit out of them with urban legends about the neighbors wasn't part of the job description. "Yeah, I'm sure. Give me two minutes. Kids, if Korra was just protecting Park, then no one's in trouble, but your lying under pressure skills need work. If you really wanted me to not see the door, someone could've at least bent up a replacement."

Kuvira then proceeded to fetch a spool of metal cable off the entryway table, before heading out into the front yard. Korra and the kids followed her out, as she bent the metal cable into a claw at the end. With one shot of her arm forward and clenching of her hand, she had the ball. Resisting an eye roll or a smile of satisfaction, she yanked the ball and the metal back, tossing it to Takeo before the five of them returned inside.

"And, surprisingly, my head is not crushed," Kuvira exulted, then approached Korra off to the side. "Why did I do that?" she muttered.

Korra smirked. "You always tell me that you want to be the hero."

To spare the kids, Kuvira mouthed "you're the worst" before her hand found the small of Korra's back and planted a kiss on her lips.

Somehow, the moment she'd told Korra that hero comment was so clear in her mind: a year earlier when she had just gotten the stitches in her hand removed, and half-jokingly told Korra she could stop being Kuvira's hero. Everything in between still felt a little dream-like: walking into the newly-unveiled parliament building for the first time as prime minister; adopting Takeo, signing papers with the boy giving her a tiny smile that collapsed into him sobbing into her arms the moment they left his group home; going to the Southern Water Tribe and getting nods, smiles, and kind words from Korra's parents; the scattered nightmares—mostly hers, but sometimes Korra's; gulping down tears as she stripped Anaya down for a bath her first night home only to discover jutting ribs underneath her clothes; teaching Takeo and Anaya earthbending basics, watching them light up as they worked; picking up Park from that decrepit Lijiang orphanage and knowing that the nearly helpless child in her arms was hers; watching bills pass through parliament; being paranoid to the point of sickness for the safety of her children and hiring Arnav as a result; sneaking into the Spirit World at night with Korra, challenging each other to finally make it to that flower patch to make love before sunrise; and coming home to what should have been a fantasy.

Kuvira knew part of it was a brain weighed down by a lack of sleep, but that kiss was perfect.

 


End file.
